Fantasia
by BakaRain
Summary: Strange circumstances, amnesia, a gilded legacy, blood knowledge, sixth year of Hogwarts, Lily Evans, the Marauders and a Slytherin. Let's have fun. (Marauder era, eventual Sirius/OC)
1. Chapter 1: October's run

**Chapter 1: October run**

It was a strange sort of pack that I ran up to, or at least it seemed to me.

The larger animals stared at me with wide feral eyes, but I did not fear them. I knew what they were. _Why_ they were there, though, that was a mystery. Then again, it was a mystery for me also the reason as to why _I_ was there.

I looked away from the animals. Up to where the trees gave way to see the night sky.

Ah yes. There it was. The full moon.

That's why I was there. I was drunk of it.

I looked back to the animals. They were ready to pounce on me at any given second. I did not fear them. Their feral eyes did not spark with danger toward me. No, those eyes were apprehensive as they waited.

There was another creature, one more out of place and fearsome than the rest. It walked out of the edge of the trees, smelling the air, looking at me with small round eyes.

I knew what it was, like I had known when I saw the rest of the pack.

And again, I did not fear.

I had no reason to. Deep down, I somehow knew it would not hurt me. It was the full moon. It made me intoxicated, and left me to believe that I could brave the children of the night that she cared for. A sensible person (anyone really), even me off the influence of the moon, would think me dead. Even more dead while wearing the ridiculous nightgown I had been given at the start of school.

It didn't matter. As much as the dark creature and its pack were children of the night, so was I; more so than them.

My eyes had not left the eyes of the most dangerous creature. I was not afraid, and it didn't want to hurt me. I was sure.

Stupid thought, yes.

I smiled, my face had never before felt so relaxed and it made me raise my hand to the werewolf.

I beckoned it closer.

It bounced at me.


	2. Chapter 2: October's run(cont)

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction created sorely to satisfy my imagination. Harry Potter and anything/everything related to the novels belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing in this fanfic that might be recognizable as belonging to the canon of HP.

* * *

 **Cha** **pter 2** October run (cont)

They were still sleeping when the effect of the moon began to leave me.

I was lying on a bed of grass that wonderfully felt as comfortable as any normal bed. The sun had yet to break through the skies, but it was only a matter of time. Lady Moon, who had beamed so brightly all through the night, was giving way for the day to be born. Soon warm light would wash away her cold hands, and for another cycle I would not have to suffer her influence.

For the remaining moment, as I blinked away the sleep, I was to suffer the weight of the pack on top on me.

Honestly, I have no idea how it happened. My memory was not the best on normal days, even less when drunk. I remember the werewolf capturing me between its claws, making me gasps as I desperately held on to it. It was the weirdest embrace I had even had, that I could remember, because for the life of me I could not remember any single hug before the werewolf had me tight against it.

It was a strange feeling, almost pleasurable; to cling so intimately to a creature that in seconds could have my guts out in the open.

After that, the rest of the pack neared me, tentatively, shyly. They touched me, they smelled me, and they allowed me to do the same to them. The moon makes me do some crazy stuff.

The next memory that came to my mind was a breathless laugh, as I ran through the forest. I wasn't wearing shoes, but it didn't matter, the trail was cleaned enough. There had been a howl, far to the front, and I could not see the werewolf that had run ahead. The stag led the way for me, its gallop inviting me to run faster. The rat enjoyed running around my feet whenever I threatened to slow, making me laugh the exhaustion away. The dog barked, running next to me, keeping my pace so as to make me feel better.

Never had I run so much in my life.

It was the moon. It was the pack. The union of the two brought forth in me a strength I normally tried to ignore.

The forest, the one I had feared as I looked from the castle's windows, became a playground. We ran in directions I would never be able to remember and we danced and played until exhaustion took me. In the haze of my drunkenness, I had collapsed in a patch of grass, cold and wet, but inviting nonetheless. The animals followed.

And that was where we still were, when the sleep left me, and I realized I was too heavy to move. The werewolf was to my side, it snout rested over my shoulder, and I could feel the warmth of its breath against my cheek. The stag had chosen to rest between my legs, its antlered head on top of my hip. I wondered for my legs, hoping that they were not being crushed, but the lack of pain drove that thought away. Between the stag and the body of the werewolf that pressed over most of the side of my body was the rat. He was curled over my belly. The dog was to my other side, its snout pressing against the side of my breast. The rest of its body was close to my torso. It was then that I realised that my arm was around its black fur, resting there in an angle. My other arm was likewise bent over the shoulders of the werewolf.

It should have been an uncomfortable position for me, yet somehow it wasn't. How we ended like that was a mystery for me, and it will always remain like so.

I felt special, lying between those animal that were clearly something more. My mind, with the intervention of clarity, had forgotten what was it about them that was different from normal animals, but it really didn't matter.

Lady Moon had relinquished her hold on the Earth, and now the creatures of the night had to hide.

I moved, only a tiny fraction, and the pack awoke.

They didn't instantly jump off me. I watched as they came to their senses, taking in the situation and trying to remember what had happened. It was beautifully humanistic of them to do so. The werewolf was the first that moved away from me, growling as it went. I watched it move, entranced by the shaking I saw its body make. Like me, the moon's influence was leaving it.

I felt the rest of the pack detached themselves from me. Suddenly, with the lack of warmth, the chilly air of the morning mist hit me tenfold.

Good wizard God, what was I thinking when I left in such a silly and not warm nightgown?

Oh right, I was drunk, who knows what I was thinking.

I stood up, patting away the dirt, grass and dew that clung to my long skirt. As I did that I felt a couple pairs of eyes burning holes into me.

When I looked up to them, I somehow expected them to tell me something. At the current moment it was impossible, but in the absence of light as night died and the day was born, I couldn't read their eyes well. Something was clear, though. This was where we parted. And honestly, I was relieved.

Our adventure had been great, all that I could remember, but that had been under Lady Moon. Now that she was gone for a long while, we did not need to continue this adventure. We had lives to return to.

Shaking still, the werewolf gave a howl. Its body bent back, and I felt the sound vibrate though my spine. Our sign of parting. I stood still. I wasn't afraid, but I knew that that was what I had to do.

One by one, they began to leave me. The rat was the last. It stopped by a line of trees, looking at me with a cocked head. I gave him a smile for it was the only payment I had for them. The sound of a sharp bark made us both jump, and the rat scurried away after its pack.

With them gone, I turned to walk back to the castle.

...


	3. Chapter 3: To the castle

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction created sorely to satisfy my imagination. Harry Potter and anything/everything related to the novels belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing in this fanfic that might be recognizable as belonging to the canon of HP.

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 **Chapter 3: To the castle**

The spell of the moon was gone, and I was shivering uncontrollably way before I reached the castle.

I had not lived there long, only a couple of months, but I knew the grounds very well. It was something that came instinctively, like breathing or blinking. The paths, from the edge of the platform, to the end of the forest; I knew it all like the back of my hand. Somehow I knew it. Somehow, without exploring or a good look in a map, I knew my way around. That very night was proof of it. Not once, had I been into the Forbidden Forest and through all the strolling and running around I still could find my way back.

I tried not to think of the pack of animals that I had met as the way to my bed became shorter with every step. Strange things tended to happen to me during the full moon ever since I arrived at Hogwarts, and it was better if I didn't dwell on it when I couldn't do anything to ease my thoughts. Thinking of the werewolf and its pack of stray animals deserved an extensive search in the library, a place that was to be closed for at least an hour more.

Pushing my drunken night away before I started to mentally list all the questions I could muster about it, I strode right into the castle.

The hallways lessened my pain. They were incrusted with ancient spells and hexes; surely one of them was for heating for it was doing wonders on my body.

At a bend, I stopped to listen.

I really needed to not get caught. The caretaker and Peeves were my main concern, as I peeked into the next hallway. Both of them were a pain, and I had no desire whatsoever to have to march up to Dumbledore to explain what I was doing. Filch always did that. He had the sick pleasure of giving detention to any and every student he found that broke the rules, but to me he was different. He always took me to see the Headmaster and that felt worst.

I rather take punishment than have to explain myself to those twinkling eyes.

How could I even begin to explain to him or anyone, really, what had happened in the forest?

Hell, how could I explain what had gotten into me? That drunken haze that willed me out of bed was certainly something not common. And the strangeness of it would send Dumbledore off in an array of questions that I wouldn't want to even think off, and I would end up in St. Mungo's again for a further study.

No, I would not have any of that.

Not again.

And obviously not since so little time had passed since my last visit.

After carefully treating a couple of hallways, I went down a flight of stairs. Down in the dungeons, the hallway was dark, unperturbed by the dying beams of the moon. The only light I could rely on was the one by the portrait door, its flickering calming my spirit somewhat. Almost there, and I could take a hot shower to begin my day like a normal person, and not like some sprite creature of the night.

"You're late." The man in the portrait said, eyeing me critically as I reached him. I knew how I looked and I remembered how he had called me out when I left earlier in the night. My heart warmed at the thought of him being worried about me, but I didn't want to talk to him either. In a way, he was to me like Dumbledore.

"Spectrum summa." The password was the first words I had spoken all night, and the sound of my voice seemed alien to me. Was that really how I always sounded?

The portrait did not move.

There was silence in the hallway, and all the warmth I felt came from the lonely torch to the side. "Was it the full moon that got you up and about?"

I sighed, crossing my arms over my chest. I really did hate how knowledgeable he was sometimes. Though, it really shouldn't be a surprised to anyone. "I really don't want to talk about it. Spectrum summa."

"It is of importance that you fight your urges. Your mind is in precarious state and it does not serve you to stray from what is good for you."

"Not now, really." Once more, I uttered the password.

Again, the frame did not move, but the man in the painting did, pressing on. "Child, you should seek an audience with Headmaster Dumbledore. It would be best."

I suppressed the urged to sigh again. There was nothing I hated more than when he went into his mentor to student mode. "I'm not in the mood for your advice, grandfather." I glared up at him, exhausting myself with it. "Just let me through."

"Mor—" He began and I suddenly couldn't even try to deal with him anymore.

"Let me in!"

The portrait swung opened, and before I regretted my hostility toward the man in the painting, I went in.

...


	4. Chapter 4: In the dorm

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction created sorely to satisfy my imagination. Harry Potter and anything/everything related to the novels belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing in this fanfic that might be recognizable as belonging to the canon of HP.

* * *

 **Chapter 4:** In the dorm

My dorm mates were still sleeping when I snuck back in our room. They would soon be up and would be expecting to see me hiding under my covers. That's how they liked me to be and that's how I wanted to be found the morning after a full moon. I had no desire for my secret to be known, even less by the 16 year-old girls I shared a dorm with.

I tiptoed in, careful not to make a sound.

My feet were caked with mud and leaves, but that was a problem I knew no one would notice. Not when I hid them under my blankets until the girls left for breakfast. Then I could take a relaxing shower and get ready for class in peace.

Gemma Carrow stirred in the bed next to mine, making me duck a fraction. My peace in the following week would be greatly diminished if she caught me.

A second passed, but the bedcovers were not pushed away, so I took it as my cue to move. I tried hard to not jump in bed. The screeching of the four poster bed would be enough to wake up the whole House in the silence of the morning. That's an exaggeration of course, but I've managed to do stranger things.

Safe under the covers, I let their warmth engulf me.

It was hard to not let myself fall into the land of dreams. The last time I slept was the night before and my comfortable bed was meant to be step in. I thought things though, as I waited for the girls around me to start waking up. My day was full with classes, and I was sure that I was going to pass hard times trying to not fall asleep. Maybe it was best to cut all day; play the sick card and sleep all day.

Definitely it was a brilliant idea, but I couldn't do that. I had worked till I dropped during the summer to catch up to my school age year, it was best if I didn't fall behind when the choice was mine to take.

A grandfather clock began to chime, announcing the beginning of the day.

There was a groan in the room and rustling of bed covers, followed shortly by dazed footsteps. I stayed completely still, as the dorm buzzed with teenage girl life.

"Is it double Herbology or Transfiguration today? I can't find my schedule in this mess." There was a movement of books and papers, making me figure that Mafalda was moving around her working pile. Every night when doing homework, Mafalda Bole constructed a pile parchment and text books next to her bed. It was her best working routine to getting things done, and it annoyed everyone, myself included. Even more when she made me look for her notes in there.

"Should I let my hair down today? What do you think Gemma?" Gertrude Goyle asked. I could just imagine her in front of the mirror, pushing up her dark waves with uncertaincy. It didn't really matter what hairstyle she chose, she would still look like one of those Puffskein to me.

"Suits you better up."

Gertrude made an annoyed sound, dropping something, probably her brush. "I didn't ask you, Hestia!"

"It's Transfiguration." Gemma said, closer to my bed than I would like. Her bed was next to mine, so it wasn't her fault as far as I knew, but that didn't mean that I had to like it. "And Gertrude, you should wear it down."

"Why you listen to her and not me?" Hestia demanded.

"Because you spilled my Infusion of Wormwood and I got a low mark in Potions! How am I going to get into the Slug Club like that?"

"Mafalda did that!" Hestia defended herself.

Shoes were placed on the floor, as someone to my other side sat on the next bed. "Leave me out of this. Gertrude, where did you put my Defence essay?"

"I have it." Gemma said making a sound that strictly made me imagine parchment being rolled up as she stomped around. I swear for someone as skinny as she was, she did walk very loudly. "Would you guys hurry up? I don't want to be late for breakfast."

"More like you don't want to be late to start gazing at Sirius Black." Hestia threw out there, submerging herself in laughter that Lillian shared.

"Ugh, I can't stand him." Mafalda said. "I can't believe my mother is trying to arrange me with him." She 'ughed' again.

"All our mothers want to arrange us with him. He's a Black." Gemma sounded a bit hostile while she said that. She was obvious. It made me roll my eyes in my hiding place. Everybody knew she was set in having Sirius Black as a husband. "Though, I think you're so disgusted with him because you like Potter, instead." Her voice got farther as she spoke, and I perked up at the fact that they were finally going to leave.

"I don't!"

"Can't hide it from us. You fancy the smelly Gryffindor."

"Hestia Bletchley, please shut it!"

There was more talk as they moved away, but I stopped eavesdropping. There was no point to make an effort.

"Wake up, Far-a-way!" One yelled, I think it was Hestia, just before she shut the door to the dorm.

I let a couple minutes go by, to make sure they wouldn't return for something forgotten. Last thing I desired was to actually have to talk to one of them. Pulling myself out of bed was easy, as exhausted as I felt, I was more determined to get cleaned up. I didn't like getting too much attention from my fellow students, and smelling like forest and sweat was sure to catch it.

Once in the bathroom, I pulled the nightgown off, the sorry white fabric fell in a heap around my filthy feet. Not much of me was dirty. I checked myself in the mirror, looking for stains or bug bites, but I found none. My hair held all the leaves and twigs of the Forbidden Forest, and with a sigh I figured I had to wash that too.

It was best that way though. I had to rid my body of the smell of nature, hence I risk being discovered. Hogwarts professors, especially Dumbledore, were extremely perceptive about those kinds of things. Some of them, at least.

After the shower, I put on my school robes which were two sizes too big on me. Like the nightgown, they were donated, but I didn't mind them. Their tent-like size made me feel comfortable, unlike the sleeping wear that allowed me to slip into the drunken persona Lady Moon provoked in me. Pulling my long hair up into a tight knot, I stole less than a dab of Gertrude's hair solution to press my bangs and loose hairs back. It was my preferred hairdo, and it made my daily academic life so much easier.

I gathered all the books I needed for the day. I thought about taking an extra one, fifth-year Transfiguration book so I could clarify some terms that were still unknown to me in class, but I decided against it. Better to do that before bed, in case I got headaches again.

The thought of searching in the Library for something relating to werewolf and the kind of friends they keep crossed my mind, however I tucked it away immediately. I had enough in my plate with N.E.W.T classes. Instead I made a mental list of all the things I was obligated to do during the day.

First thing: apologize to the portrait.

I sighed.

…

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AN: I have great plans for this fanfiction and I figured it's time for me to say something. Thank you for reading; I'm glad that this has spiked your interest so far. As to the story, I'll announce that I'm planning for it to be really really long. I'm not sure how long, but I'm plotting chapters and I'm already up to 75, and that only reaches barely to the end of summer before 7th year. In my head, I want to get to October 1981. My mind's gone crazy, I know.

Anyway, I don't want to frighten anyone with the promise of a long fanfiction. So far, my chapters have been short, and some along the line are the same. I have long and short chapters planned, and I also think I'm gonna be looking things over to take some out.

Also, the first 20 chapters are gonna be more about establishing Faraday as a character. This is a Sirius Black/ OC getting together fanfic, but it will be a loooooooooooong time before that even starts to happen. I hope I don't disinterest anyone; it's just the way my mind worked this story out. There will be lots of fluff and fun stuff along the way, no worries.

Please, if you are interested in this story, let me know. I know that it's a pain in the butt to review or comment, but you'll be giving me inspiration to keep going.

That's all. Thank you very much for reading! ^.^


	5. Chapter 5: Mornings

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction created sorely to satisfy my imagination. Harry Potter and anything/everything related to the novels belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing in this fanfic that might be recognizable as belonging to the canon of HP.

* * *

 **Chapter 5:** Mornings

The Great Hall buzzed with activity during breakfast.

All the tables were filled with lively students talking and eating. Sitting in the Slytherin table at the edge that was closer to the door, I had a book open next to my plate of food. I was among first years that, like me, were sitting at the end for fear of being too close to the teachers. Other school years students tended to sit by the middle, a trend that I really didn't understood.

Some days I felt like an idiot eating in the mist of little kids, but I rather have that than all the eyes of the teachers table on me. As impartial as they claimed to be, the novelty of my attendance to school had yet to wear off them. The professors tended to hover over me, whenever I asked them something they would insist I go to their office so to help me better and were too considerate with the assignments I handed in. Not once had they made a negative comment about my presence in their NEWT classes without the prior five year school experience. Only McGonagall had said something about me hindering the flow for her intensive class, but my OWL marks had her waving them off.

I didn't understand the calcification system as of yet, but I was left to understand that I had managed well. Headmaster Dumbledore had me study every day since the day he met me so that I could pass the OWLs. His pestering worked off.

Speaking of which, I could feel his particular twinkling eyes on me all the way back from the teachers table.

Barely a week had passed since my full moon adventure with the pack, and I had no intention of having Dumbledore find out about it. I hated it how that wizard could just stand across from me and know all my secrets.

"Ah, good morning Miss Nolan."

I took me ten seconds to remember that that was my last name. I twisted to the side to the man that was standing behind the kid next to me.

"Good morning, Professor Slughorn."

"How do you do in this fine day?" Under his walrus moustache stretched a friendly smile, as he regarded me.

"I'm good, sir. And you?"

"Top of the morning for me." He did seem positively pleased, even so early in the morning. "I've got a surprise for our first club meeting. Only the best for my promising young witches and wizards" His eyes beamed as he looked at me, probably ecstatic about the fact that a few days earlier I had agreed to join his Slug Club. "How's the lesson remembering going?"

In the state he was in, I was surprised he remembered my useful skill. "I'm just trying not to go crazy with it."

"The headaches are not too much for you, are they? We'll talk to Madam Pomfrey if needed be."

His words made me smile, as I waved his concern away. "No professor, I can manage them. Though, it gets annoying most times, I'll admit."

"Blood knowledge tends to be like that," Slughorn said.

I found it strangely liberating how the professor just brushed off my ability like it was nothing. Sure, he was deeply interested in me and my inheritance to the point that I already had a place in his little club even when I was still horrid in his Potions class. He waved it off like it was something I had complete control off, which I didn't. And I liked that. He wasn't like McGonagall or Flitwick or the Headmaster who insisted on me learning how to control it, to keep it in check and prevent it from driving me mad. No, Slughorn wanted me to use it, so I could step into my power and he could harvest the praise of being my teacher. The thought that I was painting my Head of House as a massive selfish cow crossed my mind, but I didn't feel bad about it. I liked it.

"I just wished there wasn't so much for me to catch up to. And that I wasn't taking NEWTs."

"Dumbledore deemed you prepared for Sixth year. It'd be best if we trust his judgement. Hard work is necessary, regardless." He smiled as he bent forward as if to tell me a secret. "You're a tenacious girl. Four months have passed since you started remembering and you've yet to give up. And already you're so close! Just think that soon you'll be done with the re-leaning. You'll be free of having to catch up."

His laugh was infectious.

"Thank you, Professor."

He seemed pleased with himself as he stood there. "What is that smell, anyhow?"

I resisted the urge to smell myself again for the hundredth time since I left the dungeons. "Someone dropped a bag of dungbombs in the common room." I explained, trying to force away the memories of a couple of hours ago. It had been a clever prank, and the Slytherins had it very clear as to who had done it.

The man looked over the Slytherin table, surveying.

The whole table was tittering with anger, and just waiting for the perpetrators to walk in. I didn't think the problem was what the prank did. No, my house mates were worried over how the Marauders had gotten inside our common room to prepare said prank.

And I do think that's justified. I myself was still wondering how they got such a heavy bag of dungbombs to hang from the ceiling. A powerful charm must have been used for it.

"A bath in goat milk will remedy that." The words Slughorn uttered were more to himself than to me. He was thoughtful for a moment longer, but then he brushed if off with a smile. "Don't forget about the meeting on Friday." He said as a form of parting, walking away to the professors table.

The girl sitting next to me stirred in a way that brought me back from watching Slughorn go, and I looked down to my book to learn the next lesson. Her interruption had come in handy. Looking at the professors' table always entailed crossing stared with the Headmaster.

"The professor is gone now. Try it, try it." The girl said moving impatiently in a way that made her goblet of pumpkin juice threaten to tip over.

"Alright." Said a shy little boy that sat on the other side of the table. "Wingardium Leviosa!"

"Try it again." Another boy said.

They all sighed when their encouragement failed.

"Graham." I called out, massaging my head as I looked up at the boy across from me. Suddenly, I had the eyes of all the kids around me that were trying to help the boy with his Charm's homework. "Its le-vi-O-sa, not le-vi-o-SA."

Turning back to my own business, I tried not to feel weird by what I said. It was hard not to. I ignored those feelings. They made me feel more out of place than I already was.

…

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AN: One more thing I forgot to mention last post is that the chapters won't always be consecutive in their time line. So far chapters 1 to 4 have been one after the other, Faraday was in the woods, she came back to the school, she entered her house and she snuck into her dorm. That was consecutive. This one is not necessarily the same morning from chapter 4, though it could be. I'm not too sure about this one.


	6. Chapter 6: Descriptions

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction created sorely to satisfy my imagination. Harry Potter and anything/everything related to the novels belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing in this fanfic that might be recognizable as belonging to the canon of HP.

* * *

 **Chapter 6:** Descriptions

A headache was soon to invade my head as I walked toward Charms on the day of the very first Slug Club reunion. I was looking forward to it, even as at the current moment all I wanted to do was just give up on life and walking, and let myself fall to the stone floor. A week, I think, would be a good amount of time for me to just lay down doing nothing.

I dragged myself to class, a roll of parchment clutched in my hand. My book bag swayed heavily on my shoulder, making me slouch more than I normally did walking around the castle hallways. In my other hand I had a third year Charms textbook, opened in one of the last pages as I tried to learn the lesson and walk down a short flight of stairs. Good thing I was naturally good at multitasking, if not I would had rolled down to class.

As I read, the anticipated headache took over me, making me stop walking. I had not even finished reading a paragraph when something in me popped, and I instantly learned to perfection what I had been trying to learn. Catching up to a couple classes was a good challenge, but trying to catch up to six years of seven different magical classes was mental. I'm sure that should I been a normal witch, Dumbledore would have had me being privately tutored in someone's house. But since I had at my disposal blood knowledge, the Headmaster just threw me into Hogwarts, and abandoned me.

I had to thank the portrait. It was thanks to him that I was able to just read what a spell does and instantly be able to do it to perfection. During his time, the man in the portrait had made it so all that he knew would be kept in his blood; to pass it down, his ancient knowledge. Now here in 1976, I was lost in a world I did not know, with blood filled to the brim with knowledge waiting to be rediscovered.

I was stuck trying to do the impossible.

Gripping a roll of parchment in my hand again and closing the book, I again, resisted the urge to slack off, let my book bag fall and follow it down. My mind was exhausted. I had spent all night learning lesson after lesson just so I could turn in the day's homework. I would have to be a fool not to turn it in.

In my slow procession to Charms, a flock of Slytherins had passed me by. They were being tailed by the sixth year prefects, as they talked in tones I though should be hushed. I thought this simply because I was stuck walking behind them, and I could hear their plotting.

"I agree they have to pay Severus, but not if it entails embarrassing our own house." Gemma said, her head held high, as she walked with a puffed chest. It was to be expected, as she most defiantly was wearing her prefect badge, shining brightly over it and everywhere else she walked to.

"They've already done that."

"And we're supposed degrade ourselves to their level?"

"I shouldn't have come to you." The boy answered.

Gemma looked at him as she walked. "Not without a decent plan you should had not."

They looked strangely magnificent from where I was looking. Sure, they were arguing like the deranged, self-entailed, purist, elitist they were, but the way they walked sparked in me an interesting appreciation. They were opposites, those two, in appearance and in personality. Gemma was like a lamppost, impossibly skinny, moderately taller than the rest of us girls, and her yellow hair lighted the immediate space with a pale glow. Snape, on the other hand was the opposite. Where Gemma was all perfection, Severus was unrefined in his darkness. His dark long hair, though greasy to the point that maybe he should seek medical help, gave an air of epic-ness as his black school robes blew against his back.

If they ended dating each other, I would get a perverse-like pleasure from in. And I mean that in a good way.

Severus' hands balled into fists at his sides. The teenager had terrible temper, and it made his words drip with venom. "Do you have any ideas, Gemma? Because at this point you've proven to be useless."

Those words made Gemma turn to him abruptly. In her hand she held her wand, pointed at Snape. "Don't test me!"

I had to stop as suddenly as they did under their hostility, trapped to look at each of them a foot away.

"What are you looking at, Nolan?"

I only noticed that Severus was talking to me when I saw him turned toward me. My unexpected inclusion left me lost for words.

"Walk along." Gemma commanded.

Still looking at them, I moved to evade them as I walked away. I tried to not deflate myself as I left their presence. I could do without their hostility. Though it wasn't of normal occurrence toward me, since both of them liked to avoid me whenever possible, their hostility was something I was not used to. And something I certainly didn't like, but I couldn't do anything about that.

I held back the desperate need to think a couple of bad words to them.

Entering the Charm's classroom, I immediately went to where all the Slytherins were on a side of the auditorium, waiting for Professor Flitwick to appear and start class.

Sitting next to Mafalda, I sighed as I pulled my bag over my desk to take out all the materials I would need for the class. With new parchment, ink, quill and my homework laid out, I placed my old wand strategically between them, and sat down as comfortable as I could. Gemma was still outside, but Hestia, her partner, had taken her seat in front of me. Gertrude was behind me, sitting next to her boyfriend Rabastan Lestrange. On the other side of the classroom, the six year Gryffindors got ready for class.

The air was tense, as the Slytherins talked in hushed tones, waiting.

When they came in, all Slytherin eyes landed on them. If glares could destroy, the four boys would be a pile of ash. Gemma and Severus too glared at them as they walked in behind them.

They sat to the other side of the auditorium, with the other Gryffindors.

The Marauders.

James Potter messed his hair, looking at my general direction where all the Slytherin girls were. He was looking for a reaction, proving to all that were stupid enough to still be wondering who was responsible for the prank. His untidy black hair singled him out in a crowd, even more so considering he styled it in every direction possible. Tall and smug as he walked, seeming to be able to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders and still be able to make it look like the coolest thing ever.

Sirius Black sat next to Potter, pulling his long legs up to rest over the desk with the most natural elegance. I had to admit that he was incredibly good looking. Well-built, radiant black hair, darkly-handsome and with a smile that shone with wild youth, capable of bewitching anyone. If ever my gaze landed on him, I would look away as soon as I saw that smile. I had enough problems as it was and I didn't need to be under his spell like everyone else.

Gemma, who was about to take her seat, seemed to sigh as he sat down. As much as she wanted his prospects, the prank had annoyed her image of him. It annoyed all of the Slytherins, even more considering that all their pranks were directed at us. I didn't know that for an official fact. Since I'd only been on Hogwarts for two months, I was still proving rumors and myths of the castle. The way things kept happening; I would definitely say that the Marauders had it in for us of Salazar's house. We hated them, and the rest of the students in the other houses loved them. Especially that Sirius Black. The girls did swoon over him, I've noticed.

Behind the two ringleaders of the Marauders sat Peter Pettigrew. To me he was the most normal of them, or at least the one who looked most normal. His dark blue eyes were small and watery, and his nose bent in a way that reminded me of a rodent. He had his brown hair styled back, in a style that seemed ridiculous to me, but he obviously favored for every time I even looked his way he was like that. A little pudgy and short, but that only made him cute.

And the last one to put his books down and sit was Remus Lupin. The tallest of the group, he was also the skinniest. He looked malnourish, as I stared at him from the other side of the classroom, and his robes reminded me of mine. They looked two sizes too big on him. Sandy hair was neatly combed over his eyes, which sparkled blue. The most fascinated thing of him was the pink scars on his face. Though his eyes shone with the mannerisms of a well mannered boy, his scars gave sense to his spot in the gang of infamous troublemakers.

There was an annoying feeling inside of me, lately, whenever I saw them. In a way it felt like I was trying to suppress something. Then again, there were many things in my life I was trying to suppress.

Potter was still looking our way, smirking. It was as if he was daring us to speak up.

"He's a prat." Mafalda said.

When I saw that none of the other sixth year girls answered her, I realized she was talking to me. That made me turned my head to look at her. We shared a solidarity stare, though I don't understand why I included myself. I was honestly surprised. It had been a few weeks since she had spoken to me in such a normal way. She must really like Potter, to have said that to me.

"Sure is." I chimed.

Professor Flitwick came into the room then, and called the class to order. The lesson lasted for almost two of hour, time in which I tried hard not to go crazy with the given material.

. . .

* * *

AN: I have never described so many people before in my life! I'm not too big in the describing people flat out like that, but I felt I needed to try to build up how Faraday saw the boys. I used the appearances from the books, movies and my imagination. Please enjoy and review. XD


	7. Chapter 7: Slug Club

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction created sorely to satisfy my imagination. Harry Potter and anything/everything related to the novels belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing in this fanfic that might be recognizable as belonging to the canon of HP.

* * *

 **Chapter 7:** Slug Club

Though I had gotten ready for the Club meeting earlier than my dorm mates, I had no intention to be the first one in Slughorn's office.

I did not know how I was supposed to dress. My trunk had a limited set of clothes that didn't really seem proper for the occasion, so I opted to wear my school robes. Earlier that day, I overheard my dorm mates talking about the evening, as well of the clothing they planned to wear. They mentioned all their clothes, making me figure that they must have an Extension Charm on their trunk to be able to bring that many robes to school. With what I gathered from eavesdropping, the uniform was fine. Not that it mattered. The only person that I was supposed to impress was the professor, and I was pretty sure I would manage that just by showing up.

I picked a wall, close to the professor's office, one where I could see the door. Gertrude liked to talk about the handful of meetings she had been invited last year before dropping her grades, and with all that I had heard it didn't seemed like a big deal. It was a private dinner, one where Professor Slughorn was true to all his Slytherin characteristics and created bonds with students he would at some point exploit, one way or the other.

Not a minute had passed before my solitude was interrupted.

"Nolan."

My surname wasn't what made me tense up, it was the voice. My skin began to crawl and in an instant I wanted to be on the other side of the castle. I could feel every muscle in my body contract, desperate to release to get me out of there as he neared me.

I looked into Lorcan Mulciber's face, trying hard to resist the grimace I wanted to let free in mine.

"Bit early, don't you think?"

He slammed a hand on the wall next to my face, almost pinning me with his body. His blond curls danced around his forehead as he gave me the most spectacular smile. At the beginning of the school year, I would have been willingly turning into butter just by looking at him. Now, after what had happened, my stomach couldn't even stand breathing the same air he did.

I looked at the wall behind him on the other side of the hallway, concentrating on a crack. Ignoring him had yet to make him leave me in peace, but it was the first tactic I always used on him. Lorcan wasn't a problem I faced every day, considering we shared a house, but the few times I had encounters with him were enough to make me try to avoid him. Of course, he made it his business pestering me from time to time and it was horrible to receive his bad attitude, but I couldn't do anything to stop him. He was the oldest Slytherin prefect, a seventh year model student. And even if Dumbledore or any of the other professors believed me and punished him for his bulling, I would get more crap from the rest of my house. I didn't want that. Even less considering that my estranged relationship with most of my fellow Slytherins was Lorcan Mulciber's fault. "Say something."

"Leave me alone." Inside I was screaming at the top of my lungs, desperate to have this conversation end.

His breath hit my forehead, and I had to force my stomach to stop trying to climb up my throat. "I don't want to. It's been a long time since we've had a chance to talk."

This time, I did look at him. I had to. His green eyes met me in the challenge, as he glared at me with the ferocity I wish I was showing too. "A hundred centuries could pass and it would still be too soon to talk to you."

For a long moment we stared at each other. His eyes darted down to my lips more times that I would have liked. Shit.

"What's going on here?" Someone spoke up and the atmosphere of putrid silence was lifted making me feel stronger. I looked around Lorcan for the newcomer. I was instantly relieved to see it wasn't someone that completely hated me. "Mulciber? What are you doing?"

"Go away Black. I'm conversing." His eyes never left me. I could feel them burning into me, as I was again looking anywhere but into them.

Regulus Black hid his hands in the pockets of his robes, his face twisting with a confused smirk. "With Faraday Nolan? Since when have you two been on speaking terms?"

"Since she forgot her place. As a prefect it's my duty to instruct her where she belongs."

"You've already done that." Though he had a bit more to grow, Regulus equaled Mulciber in authority and skyrocketed pass him in terms of elegance. His face was still graced with the roundness of boyhood but at fifteen, he was in the right way of becoming a handsome man.

"Sod off, Black." Lorcan went back to glaring me down. I looked as far away from him as I could, still trapped between him and the wall.

"Slughorn is expecting us, as members of his House, to arrive first." Regulus didn't say no more. There wasn't a need to. Among Slytherins it was a common thing to use House pride as a means to get something done. In this case, Black used it to make Mulciber back down. It was a good strategy and it worked every time, even on me.

Lorcan slammed the hand next to my face again against the wall, making me jump. With a satisfied sneer toward me, he puffed his chest toward Regulus and walked away. I held on to my breath of relief. It was not yet the time to let it go. Not while he could still have the satisfaction of hearing it.

Regulus and I watched Mulciber strut to Slughorn's door and disappear into it.

I stood next to Black as I finally allowed my tense shoulders to relax. "He doesn't know when he's won, does he?"

He gave me a sideward glance. "I think he expects more of a fight from you."

"Good thing I'm not interested in meeting his expectations."

He smirked at that. "Shall we head inside?"

With a smile I nodded, and walked behind him.

So far, I wasn't impressed with the Slug Club. Once the professor had finished showing his boisterous happiness at my presence, I was left to do as I pleased. Gemma and Mafalda waited no time in pretending I didn't exist once they arrived, and I tried to do the same. I didn't try to speak to Regulus again however. When Slughorn was done with him, he attached himself to Severus and Mulciber. The other side of the castle wasn't far as far away as I wanted to be from Lorcan, therefore making itself a stop sign nearing the only Slytherin boy close to my age that didn't ignore me.

It was after the students from the other houses arrived that Slughorn sought me again. He claimed he wanted to properly acquaint me with his most prolific student. I instantly knew who he was talking about and I shuddered at the thought of being forced into a conversation with someone from another house. In the months I had been in Hogwarts, I hadn't had much socializing with students from the other houses. Slytherin and Gryffindors were eternal rivals since the times of their founders, and obviously that meant that no lion looked my way at any given second unless it was to glare. Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff were very forthcoming to me on my first week in school, but all that went down the drain once shit hit the fan and they noticed how my housemates started treating me.

The only attention I tended to get was from the Slytherin first years. As afraid as they were of the older housemates, they sat with me during our meals or in the common room when we worked on our assignments. They at least were nice to me. Oh and Regulus Black. Can't forget about him. We don't talk much and I don't consider him my friend, but I don't necessary consider him a stranger either. Though I don't really understand why he doesn't slash out at me like the other boys. Maybe he likes me.

Anyway, Slughorn introduced her as Lily Evans and after a polite conversation between teacher and students; the Professor left us to what he said was 'two promising young ladies forming bonds of eternal friendship'. It was as awkward as anyone could imagine.

"I know you must be trying not to be rude by still being here, but we can head our own ways if you want." I said to her after two full minutes of awkward silence. She was a Gryffindor, and as much as I crave socializing with a girl my age that didn't look down at me, I wasn't prepared to force myself unto her. That wasn't fair to her or my pride.

She nodded to the side, pointing with her head. "Slughorn is looking at us."

I let out a chuckle meant to be seen as we were enjoying our conversation. Evans mimicked it without me having to tell her. And I liked that very much.

I liked it to the point that it elated my spirits a fraction to actually give a real smile. "Tell you what. Let's go to the beverage table, take a sip out of something, smile some more and then just mingle away from each other."

She seemed to be thinking it over. "Sounds good."

We went, aware of the fact that Slughorn wasn't the only one looking at us, and I was looking at the options as the Gryffindor served herself a drink.

"Gillywater? Does that even taste like anything?" I said to which Evans only nodded. "I've never heard of it."

"You've never had it?" She seemed surprised for some reason. "I was told is a common enough drink in magical families."

"Is it common in your family?" I asked her. Not really knowing.

Evans shook her head. "No, I'm muggle-born."

"Ah." Was the only thing I could answer her back. I did know about that.

She took a sip of her drink, and to try to seem less awkward, I looked into my drink. "I thought you were a pureblood or a half-blood." She said and she sounded a bit embarrassed about it.

I didn't want her to feel like that, therefore I tried to sound relaxed as I spoke. "I wouldn't know."

"Are you muggle-born, too?"

"I have no idea. Maybe." I sipped the drink. It tasted mostly of water, but its aftertaste was slightly different. "It's not bad." I said in regards of the drink.

"You don't know what your parents are?" The way she said it, made her seemed very bothered about it.

"I don't even know if I have parents." I said to her, wondering where the resolve to follow up on our earlier plan had gone to. I didn't really understand her interest. As far as I was told by Gemma, Hestia, and Mafalda on my very first day as a Slytherin, blood status is all for our House. At first instance, they assumed I was pureblooded, and according to Dumbledore I am. I am the descendant of a great wizard and a powerful witch, but that is a much as it is known of me and my family. And that was enough to get me a comfortable place within Slytherin. So, as my dorm mates were the only ones that asked at some given point, I figured that blood-purity was something that only mattered to the students of my House. I don't know. Maybe I was looking way too deep into Evans' questions. But since she had yet to annoy me, I answered her question with more honesty than I should. "I woke up during the summer in St. Mungo's without any memories. No one came to claim me, so I guess I don't have parents or a family."

"That's heartbreaking." Her face deflated, and she looked a bit uncomfortable. "How are you even keeping up with the classes?" Changing the subject was something I was grateful considering the reaction it had produced in her.

"Blood knowledge." I said as if it was the most common thing in the world.

Those words worked like a charm. They spiked Evan's curiosity to the point that she stuck herself to me like glue for the rest of the evening. She sat next to me during dinner, engaging with me in conversation. We talked in hushed tones in between professor Slughorn's mannered interruptions. I was elated. Not only was I talking comfortably to someone that wasn't a teacher, I also was having fun doing it.

Gemma and Mafalda eyed me strangely from the other side of the table, but I ignored them. I did the same with Mulciber. No way were any of them going to bother me for the rest of the night.

* * *

Lily and I were standing by the door, waiting for Slughorn to say goodbye to a Ravenclaw girl, so he could then say good night to us.

She was telling me of a funny event her friend Marlene McKinnon had done during Astrology when Snape cut in front of us and went to talk to the Professor.

I was going to say something, but a look at Lily made me stop. I didn't know her enough to be able to guess correctly, but she had the face of a person that just wanted to burst out yelling but couldn't because she was too frustrated. I watched how she glared at Severus and then I noticed a sneak glance he threw her way.

"There's something here." I said low, for Lily's ears only.

Her eyed darted to me, making her look down instantly and embarrassed. "Is it that obvious?"

I nodded. A strange feeling rose up from the bottom of my stomach to its top. I didn't remember such a thing. I think it was a different sort of thrill mixed with conspiracy-like excitement. "Did you guys date? Ah! I didn't know Severus dated before."

"No, it was nothing like that. We were friends."

"Were?" I said to which Lily made a face. I was afraid that she would push me away if I pried more. "You don't have to tell me. Look! It's our turn."

After saying our good-nights to professor Slughorn, Lily and I walked a bit away from his office.

"I had a lot of fun with you Faraday." She said as it was time to part ways.

I couldn't hide my excitement as I replied to her. "Me too!"

"I hope we can talk again, I don't have that many girl friends."

"I don't have any." I said, making her laugh. "Though, I don't want the rivalry between our houses to damper our 'promising forming bonds of eternal friendship'." I tried mimicking Slughorn on the last part, sending us into a row of laughter.

"It won't." Her long hair danced around her face as she shook her head, the redness of it making her looked all the more pale. She smiled at me as she moved. It was then that I really looked at her and I realized she was probably the prettiest girl I had ever seen. Gemma had nothing on Lily Evans. She was talker than me; her body seemed slender, even when she wore her school robes for the occasion, like me. To me she was like model perfection. And her eyes. Damn, Lorcan Mulciber had the prettiest green eyes I had ever seen, until I looked at Lily's. None can compare or surpass hers.

The sound of Slughorn's door closing made us look around. The rest of the members of the Slug Club were gone, and we stood alone on the dungeon hallway.

"I better go." Lily announced. And though it saddened me to have to end our wonderful conversation, I said my goodbyes too.

"Evans."

Someone called, hidden in the darkness behind Lily. Her face drastically changed at the sound, and her once happy face looked at me with the utmost annoyance. As it was to be expected, I was confused as to what had just happened.

"Potter." She spat.

She turned around, instantly coming to stand next to me. As the Gryffindor boy stood across from us under the light, he ruffled his hair. His eyes acknowledged me once before they sorely rested on Lily. James Potter was carrying the same arrogance as in Charms when he looked at us Slytherins to get a rise. His dungbombs prank came to my mind, setting an annoyed little frown in my face. Or at least I think it did.

"What are you doing here?"Lily demanded, and suddenly I saw the shine of the badge on her chest as she assumed her Prefect persona. "It's after hours are you looking for detention?"

"I told you she would be like this, Prongs." Like his fellow Gryffindor and friend, Sirius Black walked into the light of a nearby torch from the darkness. How we hadn't noticed that they were so close to us I will never know.

"Sometimes, it breaks my heart." Potter said to him, as Black did me a one over and proceeded to ignore me.

Yes, apparently I went to Hogwarts to be ignored. Great.

"Ten points, from each of you."

"Agh, come on Evans!" Potter whined, his eyes shining as brightly as the yellow light. "I only came here for your benefit."

"My benefit?"

"Yes. Not ten minutes ago my colleague, Sirius and I were immerse in our studies when Frank Longbottom arrived in the common room. Knowing of your participation in the Slug Club, I asked him if he had been kind enough to escort you back. He replied that you had stayed behind to speak to a friend. Of course, as the good person than I am, I found it best that I came escort you back to the tower." Most of Potter's words sounded like lies to me, but the conviction in his story telling and the utmost belief his friend was giving him made me think otherwise, in some aspects. They were professionals. It was the sappiest story I've heard, too.

Lily stared at the boy a bit, and then looked at me. She gave me a stare that universally any girl would understand as: 'can you believe this idiot?"

I shrugged as a response, which made her pat my arm.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Faraday." Lily said as a dismissal to me and it left me nodding enthusiastically. Who was I not to be excited from having a girl my age wanting to spent time with me?

Lily walked away, her steps heavy with her annoyance, and the two boys went after her immediately. Well, Potter went after her, then his friend followed. None of them looked back at me as they left.

And I was left to walk the hallways of Hogwarts completely alone.

. . .

* * *

AN: This is the longest chapter so far!


	8. Chapter 8: November's run

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction created sorely to satisfy my imagination. Harry Potter and anything/everything related to the novels belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing in this fanfic that might be recognizable as belonging to the canon of HP.

AN: I'm not too happy with how this chapter turned out, but I thought best to leave it as it is. I need to move forward with the story to get where I want to be.

* * *

 **Chapter 8:** November run

The full moon shone brightly over the Forbidden Forest and I felt myself sway my shoulders with the upmost elegance that in normal day to day I could not muster. The wind howled, the trees grunted, and the eeriness of the unknown thrilled me beyond reasoning.

There was no reasoning to its appeal.

I was drunk again. Out of my head. Blitzed. The haze of the moon veiled my most rational thoughts and made me step into my darkest of heritages. The truest truth in my blood.

The nightgown blew in the nightly wind of November. If it was cold, which I'm sure it was, I couldn't feel it. I could not feel pain of any kind. All that was in me was contentment, and that was pure bliss.

Like the previous month, the pack found me. I had just waltzed into the Forest like I owned the place, gliding in ways only possible when drunk. Tentatively, they edged from the protection of the trees, bringing a smile to my face. Before that moment, I had not realized just how much I missed them.

The castle, though filled with people, was a fortress of solitude for me or at least I thought that as I laid a kiss on the four different furs that neared me. In the three months spent in Hogwarts so far, I had yet to make and keep for long any kinds of friends, but with the pack I felt intimate. We had only played on two full moons, and yet it made me feel like those two nights had been years. We knew each other in ways I don't think anyone could understand. And at that moment, that was how I liked it.

Again, we ran together.

It was just as the first time, exhilaratingly fun and crazy. We moved like blurs through the forest grounds; dodging, jumping and galloping together in a way too perfect to describe. As a dance, I would try to explain. We ran as if in a previously choreographed dance. We knew were each had to be and what move had to be done, and we managed to stay out of the way of the other, as if we all in direct link into each other's mind.

The only thing that was expected of me, by them, was to run. I was to run with them, and they with me.

* * *

I repressed the need to sigh as the portrait came into view.

He would pry. He always did on a normal basis, and he would not open the door until I talked to him or snap. It was the morning after a full moon. I was cold, dirty and tired; I would end up snapping again.

"Imperi—"

"You will speak to me first." His voice was definite, the kind I did not like to invoke in him. He sat as he always did in his portrait, looking at me from a bent angle. His beard went down to the lower frame of the drawing and disappeared. I had yet to see him standing in all the times I had seek his guidance or his words, but I liked to imagine that it reached his knees. True to his house, his ancient robes were green, and on his head rested a pointed hat.

This time I sighed, loud and clear for him to hear. I found myself crossing my arms and slouching my shoulders.

"I'm listening."

He cleared his throat. "I understand that there are many natures in your being, and that coping at once with all is confusing." He began, his amber eyes looking at me intensely. Then again, he always looked at anyone like that. "However, there are things, even in our magical world that are not normal. These full moon strolls, for example, are occurrences that must be corrected. There is darkness in them. One that will corrupt you easily."

I couldn't look away from him as he continued. "Since the day we have met, I've done all in my power to help you to the correct path. A path leading to safety and understanding of what I have bestowed in you. All that you are - all that has happened - you have shared with me, except for what happens under the moon's influence. For three nights, you've left through my door out of your head. The first night of which left you in the hospital. This is not good. It is not a natural thing, and you refuse to let me help you surpass it. I know that I am limited to this frame, that I am not the man who walked these very hallways once, but we can find a way. Accept my help Faraday. We can get Dumbledore's aid so as to be able to control this unnatural condition."

At some point during his speech, I had to look down. His words, though filled with care and worry toward me, felt more like a burden. All I could remember was the gentle breeze of the nightly wind making the hem of my nightgown dance, the beauty of it, and how two old wizards that only wanted the best for me would damaged that.

"Why do you insist on it being unnatural when it's the most normal state I can be in? It doesn't hurt me. It's gentle with me, and understanding, unlike your blood knowledge." I won't lie, I wanted to cry.

The portrait's face gave me a sad grimace, as if to show that the last thing he wanted was to hurt me. "It cannot be explained."

His words caused a frustration in me, one I couldn't fully understand. "I can explain it!" I said up to him. My hands were shaking, as my emotions threatened to come crashing down my face. "The hold the moon has on me is because of my inheritance. Like the abilities I received from you, ancestral grandfather. I received my affinity to the moon from _my_ ancestral grandmother."

I saw how the mention of my female ancestor made him wince.

"But where did _she_ find such power?" Those amber eyes pierced right through me, and gave me the impression that he was seeing pass me, to a person and time that no longer existed. "When I died I took that question unanswered to the great beyond. And even as I am a painting, barely who I was, I find myself haunted by it. There was darkness in her, one that consumed and destroyed everything that was good in her. Just as it happened to her, it will happen to you if you don't accept help."

Again, I was silent for a long time, not being able to grasp his statement and wanting to be anywhere but there.

I felt incredibly guilty as I stood in front of the door to Slytherin House. What was worse was that I had no say in the matter. He claimed that I would be corrupted should I continue to allow myself to be controlled by what he called 'darkness' in me, but he failed to see that it was something I had no need to know how to control. I had told him many times before, yet he was still oblivious to the fact that I just lose control as soon as the moon is high enough to shine down.

It was frustrating, that at the state I was in, I had to go through a sermon, and I might have seen a bit more coldly than I was feeling. "Why do you fear _her_? Why do you fear her in me?"

His voice seemed small, and what expression he had I refused to find out. I kept looking down. "I could not help her. I refuse to fail again."

I did not want to, but if I wanted to escape the portrait's worry - at least for the night - I had to agree to what he asked. It wasn't that I agreed with him, it was that I had to get away as soon as possible or I would end up crying in front of a ten centuries old painting."I'll accept your help, if you accept my one condition."

"Say it."

"We don't get the Headmaster yet."

"Farad—"

I held my hands up to make him stop. It was the only part I could tilt to my favor, and I was not going to lose it. "We'll deal with this just the two of us, just for now, please."

"Very well. I will not inform Albus. However, should we find ourselves in need of his assistance; neither you nor I will dally in seeking him." His demeanor was more upbeat, and without having to repeat the password, the portrait swung to the side, revealing the corridor to the Slytherin common room. "Are we clear?"

With the door open, I slipped right in.

"Yes, Merlin."


	9. Chapter 9: The first game of the season

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction created sorely to satisfy my imagination. Harry Potter and anything/everything related to the novels belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing in this fanfic that might be recognizable as belonging to the canon of HP.

* * *

 **Chapter 9** The first game of the season

Merlin bullied me into having to do more reading, and after almost a week of research added to my work load, I was ready to call quits on him.

Not that I normally was a quitter, it's just that there was so much for me to do, and so little time for it during the day that I thought it best to stop. The 'darkness' the portrait claimed was in me only affected me one night a month, whereas my classes and homework were a daily thing. For the moment it was more important for me to know the ingredients for Felix Felicis than be prowling the Library for books that would not make my school life easier.

As a sixth year at Hogwarts, without the benefit of having year one-to-five under my belt, I needed every minute of time to catch up to the current curriculum. It pained my heart, but I had to stop researching useless stuff.

So I had planned on telling Merlin my decision, but in the common room there was a special buzz going around that made me forget when I went out.

Its November, so the Quidditch season was to start the very next day with a big game. Ravenclaw vs. Gryffindor.

I found out a week ago, when Gemma pinned the announcement on the common room bulletin board. Hestia had been the one standing closest to me when I read the paper, and voiced out my lack of knowledge. All it took was a: "What's Quidditch?" asked to no one in particular, for Hestia Bletchley to turn around to me.

"Of course you wouldn't know." She said in a snobbish way that made me instantly regret stopping to get informed.

I should have stopped listening because of the fact that she was mocking me by telling me what Quidditch was as if I was a child. However, she was doing such a good job in clearing away my confusions that I just paid attention.

The idea of a game played on broomstick wasn't surprising, and it sounded very interesting the more Hestia went on. I forgot the names of the balls and the 7 players as soon as she said them, but I found myself looking forward to seeing an actual game. Especially when I found out that every house has a team, including our own esteemed Slytherin House. Hestia mentioned all the players we had, and of all of them I only knew Regulus Black and Gregor Goyle, who was Gertrude's cousin.

I would have liked very much to see them play, however they wouldn't have a match until the end of November. For the moment I would have to satisfy my curiosity with the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor teams. The Slytherins were all planning on rooting feverishly for Ravenclaw. It had not been a surprised to me that we were rooting against of main rival house. Hestia had been very clear in the rooting pecking order that we of the House of Salazar followed. First and foremost Slytherin, and even when I had no idea if we were good, I agreed. Second was Hufflepuff, and third Ravenclaw. We never rooted for Gryffindor; we always rooted for the team that would be facing them.

I suppose it wasn't a fair thing for me to let centuries old rivalries muddle what could be my free thought, but a sniff of my clothes or of anyone in my House was reason enough to go against the lions. The dungbomb prank was still happening. Our brightest students had searched the common room for charms and hexes, testing every corner. They found a charm on the ceiling, and try as they might to counter it, it remained.

So, my housemates were buzzing with activity for the game. They were making banners and chants, all to the expense of our rivals. Even as in to the game as I was, I stayed well away from the planning, and the excitement.

The game was tomorrow, and today I had class.

Leaning next to a column, I tried to take in a headache. It wouldn't last a minute, but the stress in which my body and mind was made the pain sharper than most times. I had _A Guide to Advance Transfiguration_ clutched in my hand, as the topic I needed to know to finish the day's homework, became clear in my head.

"Faraday, are you okay?"

I looked up at the familiar voice. It was Lily Evans. Her concerned face was enough for me to push any lingering pain away. I collected myself as best I could, stuffing my Transfiguration book inside my bag. In it, I caught sight of the roll of parchment I was using for the assignment, and with the newly learned lesson, I made mental notes of what I wanted to add. "I barely slept."

It's true, I never sleep well, I had so much catching up to do that I tended to stay awake well past midnight just trying to learn all the lessons I needed for the sixth year NEWT curriculum. It was pain inducing work, but by now I was used to it. I gave Lily a half smile as I faced her ready to go to class.

We were friends now. Our camaraderie in the Slug Club meetings led for us to say hello to each other whenever we met, and a random invitation to study together led us to the point where we were now. Lily had other friends, but she humored me whenever I waited for her to go to class. We had three classes together, Charms, Transfiguration and Potions. The first two we had that very same day one after the other with a free period that we both used to study.

Lily sniffed me. "So it's true. They got you today too." I didn't need to ask of who or what she was referring to.

"Got all the Slytherins again, I reckon."

"They were boasting all about it yesterday in Herbology. Apparently they charmed a bag full of dungbombs outside your common room so that every time a student entered the house, one would fly in." Lily said as we began to walk to class.

The idea seemed preposterous, but since it had been happening already for like a month I had no reason to doubt it. "Huh? Grandfather won't be too happy to learn his one job was compromised."

Lily cocked her head as she regarded me. "There you go talking about your portrait. You've never really told me if he's actually your grandfather or what." Though the time we had hang-out a little, I had not held myself much when it came to talking to Lily. It was not that I trusted her or that I wanted her to know, it was merely that I would start babbling on and on with her that sometimes I couldn't stop myself from sharing with her. Sure, I had my big secrets under lock, but most of everything else Lily already knew. She didn't know the portrait was Merlin, and at least that I planned to keep for myself.

I'm sure she wasn't comfortable sharing secrets with me yet, but over parchments of class notes, Lily had told me all about her relationship with Severus Snape. How they had been close friends up until two years ago when the use of a horrible word made her see that Snape had colors in him that she could not condone anymore. Lily told me about her family. I was sad with her as she told me about her father, who had died not so long ago, and that now she only had her mother and sister. Her sister Petunia was also showing colors that Lily didn't like and that pained her. With what we had talked about so far, I was happy with the friendship I had formed with Lily. I had given up the idea of having female friends after my first week in school.

"He's a painting, technically he is not."

I tried not to mind the glances we got as we walked. Of course it was hard. We stood out. Our colors stated us as rivals, but our apparent closeness gave license for whispers. I had already heard all the things they said about us, and I tried to ignore them. It was hard to do so when Lily just wanted to face the gossip head on.

That's when our differences started to be apparent to me. Where Lily was outgoing and straightforward, I was introverted and shady. And don't get me started in appearances. Though Lily and I were the same in height, everything else was different. Lily was slim and lithe; I was curvy and a bit chubby. She was bright with vibrant eyes and hair, while I was dark. My eyes were the color of chocolate, and my hair alternated between brown and darker shades depending on the light. I did have it as long as Lily, but she left it down whenever she wasn't studying. I kept mine in a bun always. Mafalda and Hestia liked to ask me if I was giving McGonagall competition in the tight bun department, but aside from those moments, I tried to ignore the coincidence.

"But are you related to the man who was captured in it?" She pressed, her curiosity always getting the best of her.

I nodded. "Yep. Only family member I know off."

That made her somber. Her face showed her true emotions, and though I don't think she regretted her words, I believe she was crossed as to what to say. "You must feel really lonely." I did not like the sadness in her voice, not when I was the one to cause it. Nor did I like the reality of my situation she spoke of.

"Only when I'm not with you." I smirked at her, batting my eyelashes.

"Oh, I can't deal with that charm!" Lily said swaying over to hug me. It was the very first time she had been physical with me, and she shied away from it swiftly. Our quickly blossoming friendship had clearly made her forget that we only knew each other for less than a month and that was only because I was the only girl in the Slug Club that she didn't dislike. I enjoyed that it was like that, in the sense that we had to stop ourselves to try not to give too much away when in spontaneously it was what we wanted.

"It's a good thing were going to Charms then. Might teach you something about it."

That made us laugh the awkwardness away.

* * *

My two sizes too big robes blew in the breeze as I climbed the stairs of the Quidditch pitch. I was trapped between some third years as we went up, but once out in the open I searched for familiar faces.

Standing behind the girls of my dorm, Gemma noticed the movement I had caused. She gave me a look over, as she always did, judging my too-big-for-me donated school robes. I hated it whenever she did that, and I hated it that it happened at least once per day.

Gemma turned around, elbowing Mafalda. Something was said between them, but with the high spirits and commotions, it was impossible for me to hear anything unless it was screamed at me.

This time, Mafalda turned to me and handed me something.

I took it without thinking or asking, and in retrospect I chastised myself for not thinking the worse from them. But what she gave me wasn't bad. It was actually funny.

I was handed two big round pins, the size of the palm of my hand. Both were charmed into having a mangy lion unable to roar, then its body would swirl away to form letters. Again, both had the same thing. They said _Gryffindor stinks_ in gooey green letters. Then, the House jab swirled again, and this time it said _Potter stinks_. Breathing in a chuckle, I looked at the other one that said _Black stinks_. The pins sent me into a fit of laughter. Whoever had the idea of making them was brilliant.

All around me, the students of Slytherin House where putting the pins on, and through giggles, I placed both of mine over my chest.

 _Potter stinks_ and _Black stinks_ had flashed on my chest three more times by the time the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw teams entered the pitch. As I watched them, all I could think was of how I was definitely giving Lily the _Potter stinks_ one. I was sure she would love it if only it didn't say the same of her house.

I had read a book about Quidditch and I was taking flying lessons with the first years twice a week. But it was nothing like I had pictured it. If possible, it seemed more brutal and intense than what I had seen in the book's pictures. They moved so fast in the sky, and at first I had real trouble keeping up. It was amazing how the commentator managed it.

"And first points of the game go to Ravenclaw!" A young voice carried around the stands.

I hadn't even noticed when they got there, so I made an effort to pay better attention. It was hard maintaining the pace to keep up, even more considering I had no idea who most of the players were and I couldn't take the time to read the back of their playing robes.

"Watch out for that bludger – Frazer ducks right in time for Black to swing the bludger away. Nice team work boys. And Boot holds on to the quaffle –heads straight for the Gryffindor goals- can she get pass Spinnit, I wonder? McKinnon and Potter tail her, those Cleansweeps doing a mighty fine job catching up. Here come the other Ravenclaw chasers, can they aid Boot in time? Black and Fisher intervene –and Fawcett goes spinning- Stretton remains. Boot faces Spinnit, throws the quaffle. Oh! The quaffle bounces off the ring, Potter is now in possession. The Golden Snitch! Wright and Edgecombe dive. Clearwater and Goldstein deflect the bludgers, but the Gryffindor Captain always has his back protected. A dodge to the side and the arm of Black leave Potter to bolt to the Ravenclaw goals. Fawcett in pursuit. What is that bludger doing?"

And indeed what was it doing? Hadn't the commentator said it, I wouldn't had noticed until it was too late. The bludger Black hit went our way. Like a wave in the ocean, the Slytherin students ducked out of the way as the deranged ball flew centimeters over our heads. I too had to crouch. It was an instant reaction that I have to thank the person next to me for provoking. If he hadn't seen the ball coming, I wouldn't have, and I would be being taken to the hospital wing.

Shouts and nasty curses erupted from the Slytherins. When I looked back up to the game, Sirius Black was smirking, looking back at us as he zoomed away.

"And the snitch gets away! Potter throws – points for Gryffindor!"

The crowd at the other side of the pitch went off in frenzy, and in retaliation my side booed, the shock of the bludger attack gone. Again the scoring ball, the quaffle was wrestled between players as they zigzagged in every direction possible.

The game continued in that fashion for a bit over an hour more, and when it ended I was exhausted. Though trilling, Quidditch turned out to be an exhausting experience. I was glad that the next game was weeks away, less I hadn't the time to recuperate. I was exaggerating of course, but I wasn't thinking straight anymore. My bed was in my mind. I needed to hide in it, unless I wanted to suffer the aftermath of the game.

The Slytherins were furious. Not only did the dungbomb prank showed no signs of ending, but we had been deliberately attacked by a Marauder.

And what was worse, Gryffindor won.

I did not want to be in the Slytherin common room tonight.

. . .


	10. Chapter 10: Office hours

**Disclaimer:** You know I own nothing.

* * *

 **Chapter 10:** Office hours

The inside of Slughorn's office was already starting to be too familiar to me.

I suppose that isn't a bad thing. Obviously, I spent an alarming amount of time in professors' offices. It wasn't just the Potions' Master's which I frequented. Flitwick had me in his office regularly; especially the days were he introduced new hand flicks. I might be able to read and instantly know how to do a charm or a hex, but the motor skill of it was one I had to practice on my own, if I wanted to be precise. McGonagall was also a teacher that saw my face in her office at least one a week. More depending if she wanted me to re-do my assignments. And so it was with my other professors. They were patient with me, always willing to help no matter how many times I failed, and urge me to keep going.

The one office I tried to completely avoid was Dumbledore's. It had to be a grave situation for me to willingly step in there.

I supposed that Slughorn's was the office I saw most off mainly because of the club meetings and because Potions was my worst subject. Yes. I was horrible in the subject my favorite teacher taught. It wasn't for lack of trying. Like all my other classes, I obsessed over the material being given, I read as many books as I could, and I tried to be and look prepared. But no matter how hard I tried, I always ended messing something up.

Lily claimed I wasn't paying enough attention to what I was doing as I brewed the day's work. Sure, my mind did wonder sometimes, but it always had to do with the potion. My head tended to go spiraling around, between countless of other uses of the ingredients to the right angle they had to be cut for specific things. Yet that changed nothing. I entered the dungeon classroom every day, prepared to be the best there, and I failed horribly every time.

By that logic I shouldn't be in the Slug Club. Gertrude could never hold on to herself the comments. She always said something about me being shit at potions, and how unfair that she wasn't in the club because of me. Apparently I was holding her spot. However, considering that I wasn't there because of my brewing but rather because of my ancestry, it didn't matter much to me. Gertrude didn't know of grandpa Merlin, of course. Whenever she got too annoying during class, Gemma would shut her up. Not for my benefit, but for her own sake. Gemma had been force at the start of the year to be my potions partner, because Slughorn thought a newbie like me could use the help of a Prefect. She wasn't that much help, in the sense that she didn't even try to help me, but at least she kept me from blowing my eyebrows off.

I offered Lily the option to change her partner to sit with me. And when I say offer, I mean beg. She said no, preferring Mary MacDonald because of reasons I was too bummed out to want to remember.

So, after dinner I marched to Professor Slughorn's office. He had asked me exclusively to go discuss the day's class and the occurrence I had produced. I did interesting things in Potions class, but this one topped the cake.

"Honestly Faraday, I'm enormously impressed. Somehow, you used the ingredients for a Strengthening Solution to make Felix Felicis. It was nowhere near maturity, but I say it was expertly made."

Yes, apparently I did that.

Professor Slughorn sat behind his desk. He held an expression of utter fascination, much the same he had done during class when he discovered what I had done. He couldn't believe it, and I was lucky that he didn't let it known to the other students. The one thing I did not enjoy from him was when he boasted about my work. Even less when it was work done wrong and completely unintentionally. "You wouldn't happen to remember the procedure you took, would you?"

I shook my head. Some strands of my hair brushed my forehead, making me have to pass an exasperated hand over them. "I'm not sure, sir. I was following the instructions in the book."

He leaned back on his chair, ever looking at me with that proud stare he liked to give the students from his club. "Maybe you changed the page by accident."

Again I shook my head. My foot started tapping in desperation, but it was not directed at the professor. He was trying to make sense of things by voicing out his thoughts. However, I had gone through all the possible situations that led to that outcome. From an instruction error on my part to sabotage, it did not make sense. I was positive that I had done everything right. What's more, liquid luck and the solution had different ingredients and procedures. Unless I did everything wrong, there was no way it could had happened. "That happened on my first week here, so I've been using my quill to mark the book pages."

Slughorn's mustache gleamed in delight under the candle light. "Oho, this just gets more fascinatingly confusing as we ponder it. Ever more so when Felix requires an incantation. One which I would have noticed, had you said it."

I nodded. I tried to compose myself better before speaking.

"Professor, I don't understand what's happening. I'll admit I have trouble in every class, but I somehow manage them. I'm getting good grades, I guess, considering. But I don't get what's happening with Potions. Merlin was good at them. He told me. And I understand every instruction you give, I know what every ingredient does, and I follow the procedure to the dot. Still… What am I doing wrong?"

He watched me with sympathetic eyes after my rant. His mouth opened to give a reply, but he closed it without saying a word.

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in." The professor called.

The door was opened, and in stepped Sirius Black.

I won't say I didn't stare, because I did. My whole reason to go to Slughorn's office was to vent. I knew the teacher wasn't going to fail me –he would give me all the opportunities I needed to succeed –and both of us already knew that my problem had something to do with me getting in the way of my blood knowledge, somehow. Therefore, that left the reasons to meet in the office to be entirely vain. The professor wanted the satisfaction of me confiding to him, and I needed someone to talk to. I needed someone that knew of my situation and was willing to listen to my drama. It didn't matter that it was a teacher, I needed to vent to prevent going loony.

And the Gryffindor had just cut into that. So, I stared like I was angry for a few seconds, because I was. He stood as he always stood in front of a professor. Well poised, a bored look, and an immaculate appearance. In the shadows the candlelight created on him, his house colors were unnoticeable, making him look like the purest representation of a Slytherin there ever was.

When he glared back at me, becoming aware that I was in the room, I looked away. It wasn't that much of a glare, more like 'oh there is someone there' kind of look.

"Ah, the detention, of course. This way, Mr. Black." Slughorn said, grunting as he stood from his chair.

Striding inside the office, Black joined the professor to a large cabinet that towered to the side. It had been opened since I got there, and one look there was enough to deduce that those were the work of students during class. Some varied in color, and most times their individual smells would reach me. On a table beside the cabinet were similar vials of potions, unsorted, but already marked. The Potions' Master gave stick instruction that could be summarized to sort the flasks by grade and date.

I stood as I saw that Slughorn wasn't returning to his seat behind the desk. "Should I leave professor?"

"Not yet. I have a favor to ask of you." He said turning back to me. "There's a pressing matter I must look after at this very moment –strictly academic I assure you– and it leaves me to ask, Miss Nolan, if you would please watch over Mr. Black's punishment while I sort my matters." From his desk he took his pointy hat to put over his thinning and graying hair. "I promise I will make haste."

The urge to desperately decline came over me, but I couldn't. I couldn't decline a teacher, much less my favorite one.

I nodded.

"Good good! I'll only be away for a few minutes. Black, I assume you heard. Treat Miss Nolan as you would treat me, under the circumstances."

He left.

I slumped on my chair, putting my hand to my temple, hoping that my cold fingers would ease the eternal headache I harbored daily. I should have brought my homework with me. Somehow I knew Slughorn would take a while longer than he had said, and I was three inches behind a Defense essay on Dementors due for next class.

On the chair next to mine, Sirius Black deposited himself, getting himself comfortable as I think I looked.

I stared again. "Aren't _you_ supposed to be sorting the flasks?"

"Are _you_ going to tell on me?" He said with a smirk. From within his robes he drew his wand, and with a swirl of it towards the cabinet, the flasks began to move on their own.

I shrugged, looking away. Any Slytherin would had said yes, and then imposed him/herself as a superior and made him work his detention, but I had no initiative towards even trying. Classes had been tiring, I had barely gotten any sleep the night before, and all I had to look forward when I got to my dorm was a pile of homework to be done, and books to be read. I hadn't the strength to impose a punishment I didn't care for.

There was a moment where all I could hear was the scraping of glass sorting itself out.

"You smell good." Black said suddenly.

My eyes darted towards him again, and I fell prey to his wicked grin. I instantly knew he was joking. He wanted to get a rise from me. The mischief was evident in his face; one could see it a league away. I wouldn't let that happen, I would not give him the satisfaction of knowing his prank really bothered me, not when he had done worse. Trying to mimic Gemma, I smiled back at him. The change in me killed a bit of the playfulness in his expression. Maybe it had to do that I was exaggerating the pure-blood heiress thing too much. "It's my new fragrance; Dung, by the Marauders."

His laughter made me jump in my seat. I swear to Merlin, he had just barked. That unsettled me in a way I could not understand. I had to look away. Again, all I heard were the flasks arranging themselves. As the silence wore on, something began to trouble me.

"Nice game by the way, I always wanted to see a bludger up close." I couldn't resist bringing it up, the topic had bothered me so much. It hadn't been the fact that he seemed to have intentionally attacked us Slytherins during the game that had me ticked off. No, my problem had to do with my housemates, and how they wouldn't shut up about getting revenge. They schemed in the common room, in the Great Hall, in the Study area; anywhere they grouped together, claiming all the things they were going to make the Marauders pay back for, only to do nothing. It was annoying.

His eyes darted to me. "Yeah, sorry about that, my arm slipped." He said leaning closer as he stretched his arm once to make his point.

Now that he was closer, I could see into the darkness that swirled in his eyes. Gemma described looking at him in the eye as 'getting lost in a storm in the middle of the sea', and though I saw what she meant, there was something else in them. There was something strangely familiar. It wasn't just the color of eyes; it was everything. The color, their shape, and the length of his eyelashes made bells ring in my head. I had never been that close to Sirius Black, but I felt like I knew his eyes from somewhere.

But that didn't change the fact that his arrogant answer stirred emotions in me I rarely used outside of my own House.

"I imagine is a normal occurrence." I heard myself mock.

He shrugged. "It was just a joke."

Oh, how the mock turned to anger. "And it was hilarious. But it would have been even more hilarious had you sent some poor kid bleeding to the hospital wing."

"Do I seem that bad?"

"Yes." My answer was crystal clear and it left me stuck staring at his eyes again. They were a dark gray, and they were not backing down.

The glare dragged on.

He scoffed once at me and stood, going to do the work he was supposed to be doing and breaking the eye contact. He did not say a retort back, though I have to admit I was expecting one. It left me a bit disappointed. I wanted him to feel bad for what he had done during the Quidditch game, but his exit from our conversation was an honest representation of his true feelings. He just didn't seem to care.

Slughorn came back and after a few words he ushered me out.

"About your matter Faraday, strange things happen every day. No need to worry too much. You'll sort things out. Take this." He handed me a Potion Brewing Book. The cover was a bit tattered and its printing looked like it was a decade old. "It's too advanced for you, but it covers our curriculum with greater detail than the class text book. Maybe a good read of it will help you clarify your problem. Also a trip to the library never hurts."

I took the information in stride, though I had the feeling reading that book would confuse me more. Not to mention that my heart deflated at the prospect of having to read yet another book. But that always happened, and I would just keep reading. I said goodbye to the professor, and took one last look into his office. Sirius Black's back was to me, and it gave me an odd feeling. The bells were still sounding in my head. I felt like I was trying to repress something and I didn't quite understand why or what it was.

I definitely had to go to the library.

...


	11. Chapter 11: Research

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction created sorely to satisfy my imagination. Harry Potter and anything/everything related to the novels belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing in this fanfic that might be recognizable as belonging to the canon of HP.

* * *

 **Chapter 11:** Research

As I imagined, Slughorn's book only served to confuse me more. I read it as soon as I got out of his office, before I concentrated on all my other work. Technically, I only skimmed through it. I didn't need much. The potions, solutions and what not, were clear in my mind, but I wouldn't know if the extra reading worked until I had Potions again.

That wasn't until Friday; therefore I figured I might as well concentrate on other matters. All my free periods were normally time put to good use. I would read, take notes, study, revise and write out assignments. Sure, I was tired of it, and every day the one thing I wanted to do was induce myself into a coma, or something; however the desperation in me was enough to keep me working. The first time I ever talked to Professor McGonagall, she said that I had a _lot_ of work ahead of me, and that I wouldn't be able to rest until I graduated school.

I hated how right she was.

I'm sure I was overreacting, that should I want free time, I only needed to put my books down, yet I couldn't. As much as my work load was becoming easier to bear, I could not bring down my pace. For five months I had done nothing but read and study. There was nothing else for me to do. I hadn't had friends, I couldn't sleep more than six hours, and that was in a good day, and I didn't have any other interest. Ever since summer, all I've done is study, study and study, hoping to catch up to a curriculum I should never be expected to catch up to.

Oh but I was going to. No way in Wizard Hell was I going to fail. I was going to obsesses over school work until I dropped. I would get Exceeds Expectations and Outstandings in my classes and I would pass all the NEWTs the same way. I had no clue what I was going to do after that, but that doesn't matter.

Lily had tried to get me to take my studying down a notch. And though I realized I was messed up for making Gryffindor Prefect Lily Evans reach that point, I didn't listen. Most of the time we spent together was used for studying, anyway. Sure, there were occasions were she insisted we used our free periods for resting. She would pull me out the library to sit by the lake. It was wonderful time, sitting there talking girl stuff, but I always carried parchment with copies of class notes. Once she lay down to look at the horizon in her warm clothes, I would just pull the paper out of my robes. Then with a smile, she would call me incorrigible and help me revise by quizzing me.

It was wonderful.

One day, I guess, I will take things easier, but not this day. Maybe during the summer, I'll let my hair down –I mean this figuratively and literally– and be truer to my full moon side. I'll glide around, spending time with my only friend, without smelling of ink and old books.

I was waiting for Lily in the library. While she had Ancient Runes, I had a free period, and we had agreed to meet there to compare Transfiguration essays. And since I was all done theorizing the transfigurating of a bird to a chandelier, _and_ I read the Potions book, _and_ my hand hurt because of all the Charms wand practice, _and_ I could do the three spells needed to successfully defend myself against inferis, _and_ I was able to identify the type of compose needed to grow an extraordinary snargaluffs, _and_ I knew all the wonderful properties of unicorn fur; I decided it was high time for me to clear up some personal confusions.

From the moment I had come into lucidity after the first full moon with the pack of strange animals, I felt like I was repressing something. Normally, I didn't like to think of what happened under the moon rays. Merlin wouldn't stop pestering me about it, and in all honesty I didn't care much about it. But regardless of my detachment toward the topic, I harbored a slight curiosity. I couldn't shake the feeling since the night I babysat Sirius Black during his detention. Maybe it was the knowledge of it. Maybe I had the answers already in my head and I was repressing them.

Why would I do that? No idea.

The library was as silent as ever, hardly anyone visited at that hour. Though that wasn't something I could tell. I sat on one of the more reclusive tables of the place, way back, so to not capture wandering eyes.

I decided to start with werewolves. At least I wasn't dazed enough during the full moon to not be able to recognize that creature. Leaving my things sprawled on the table so to save it; I went to the section with the books for Defense against the Dark Arts. Not that I needed protection from it, but mostly because I remember reading about the beasts in the third year text book. I figured it was the best place to start.

Who knows, maybe it'll help me understand things about me that Merlin insisted I researched.

Between two rows of book shelves, hiding from wondering eyes just as I was, one of the Marauders sat in front of a desk. He was scribbling anxiously onto a roll of parchment, as he tapped his foot impatiently against the ground.

Peter Pettigrew looked up when I neared, and did almost as to hide what he was doing. To be polite, I pointed at the bookshelf behind him, as I went to it. When he looked away I ignored him completely. With the continuation of the scribbling, I concentrated on the titles stacked in front of me. When I found the book I was looking for, I took it out and returned to my table.

Going head into it, I began to read. There were a couple paragraph of generic werewolf information that I already knew. I kept reading the next section in the page.

' _How to tell apart a werewolf from an Animagus.'_

It clicked then. I didn't even need the blood knowledge headaches to kick in to know. I remembered the term from the Transfiguration text book and it amazed me. The beasts in the pack were Animagi! They had to be, minus the werewolf of course. My new enlightenment answered many questions, but it also created more. The rat, dog and stag were people that morphed into animals; that was clear. However, who were they, and what kind of people were they that they kept the company of a werewolf?

With that new information, I got up again. This time I headed for the Transfiguration section for I was fairly certain Animagi was a topic from that class.

Sure enough, I found a book that dealt with the matter substantially. Returning to my table, I began to read through the book.

Lily was running late, I supposed. Looking up from by book, I saw another one of the Marauders, Remus Lupin pass by me. I knew he took Ancient Runes with her. He eyed me for a second, and it gave me a strange sense of déjà-vu. As I watched him head for the table where his friend was, I got the feeling that there was something in him I should definitely get. But I didn't. It kept bugging me and bugging me, until I force myself to keep reading.

I went through the names of registered Animagi of the century, and the one name I recognized was McGonagall's. That served to confuse me, though I kept reading.

' _How to become an animagus'_

I realized my mistake too late.

I was in the middle of reading the second step when it began. It started like normal blood knowledge. A tingling sensation became pain. The headache racked my brain up and down, from side to side. It was to be only a passing feeling.

But this wasn't supposed to happen. I had no intention on being able to turn into an animal. There was a strange feeling in me. I felt myself stretching away, as if I was leaving my body behind. The headache, as I was so used to, began to dwindle in clear notice that I was soon to learn the knowledge intimately passed down from Merlin. Soon, I was to be an animagus, just like he apparently, had been. As the tingling sensation took over my body, giving green light for my body to change, the thought –my thought– of not wanting to change invaded me.

I didn't want to be an animagus. I didn't want to have less control over my body by submitting myself to the instincts of an animal. An animal that had been chosen to represent me, whatever it was, simply because it had once been the essence of Merlin. If I was to be an animagus, _I_ would be _my_ own, not my ancestor's. And there was no way my blood was going to allow me to do as my mind pleased. I had to put a stop to it. Somehow.

As I thought desperately more and more about stopping the knowledge to be relearned, it seemed to work. There was a reaction in me that I had never had before. My vision blurred. Inside of me something began to hurt, and it didn't stop. Every cell of my being stated to shake in pain the more hold I tried to put on my body. I had no idea how I was doing it, but it somehow felt right.

It made me lose hold of the book in my hands. With the bang it made on the table I slightly came back to my senses in time to notice the torrent of blood coming out of my nose. As I went to put my hand over it to stop it, I noticed that my hand didn't quite look like my hand. The skin of my fingers was twitching, moving and tensing as my hand had became smaller, bony and claw-like. I had been changing to the creature that represented Merlin, and as pain racked my body, my hands began to go back to normal.

Again, my eyes blurred. The blood was splattering around the table. It seemed as if I was losing all of it at the same time as I lost myself. I knew I wasn't changing anymore. Somehow I had stopped it. But the work put into doing that had unleashed something else.

Then I felt a pop in me that made me clutch at my head instantly. It was horrible, as if my head had slit open. I moaned in pain, unable to hold on to it. Once more, I felt myself leaving my body, only that this time it was more violent. I felt as if I was being pulled apart by unseen massive hands, paying a sick game of dolls with me.

I was dying, I was sure. The blood didn't stop. I began to cry. I couldn't hold it anymore.

It wasn't fair that this was happening to me. All I ever did was wake up to find myself stuck in a world filled with magic that I didn't understand. I didn't ask to be a descendant of a powerful wizard who cursed me with knowledge. I did not ask to be able to do the things I could do. The one thing I wanted was to survive. To survive school and lead a normal life. It was the whole reason I obsessed over school work, to be done with it. Serves me right for being curious. I sobbed, and it sent me into a state of desperation.

'No one can help me,' I thought.

But then with a sharp hit in my brain that made me groan, I saw the image of a tall wizard with a long beard. Yes, he could help me. I had to get to him. Dumbledore was the only one that could help me. I pressed my hands up to my nose, feeling how the crimson liquid tried to overflow them. Moving, I got up from the chair with one push, but the assault on my head made me fall to my knees.

I moaned in pain again between my ragged breaths.

There was a heavy hand on my shoulder, but who it belong to, I had no clue. At some point, I heard the voice of a woman, and in my delirium I hoped it was Madame Pince. I needed Dumbledore's help. Surely as the adult responsible for all inside the Library, she would have the same though. That or taking me to the Hospital Wing.

I couldn't understand what she was saying, nor could I hear her, but soon my body was surrounded with arms and I was lifted from the floor.

I screamed this time. Every touch on my skin felt like needles poking into me all over. The sensations gave me back my vision, and as I felt my arm being stretched over someone's shoulder, I came to see a scarred face. Remus Lupin, the Gryffindor prefect. Of course he would be there. He and his friends were the closest to me in the library, I was sure they would had been the first to hear my cries of pain.

He said something to me, I don't know what. I barely saw the moving of his lips before I felt my eyes reeling into the back of my head.

The next time I was able to see, I was being pushed away. A woman with a strange hat invaded all I could see as I was no longer held. I knew those hats well. The arched ceiling of the Hospital Wing came slightly into focus before Madam Pomfrey stepped in front of it. She hovered over me; her face set into frowns that I was sure matched the severity of my situation.

"I can't." I heard her say. "I can't help you until the Headmaster gets here."

'Dumbledore' echoed through my head. I wanted to say it, but the owned instinct to move my lips was an action I had for the moment, forgotten how to do. I wanted to curse him too, but my lack of immediate treatment wasn't his fault.

Eons seemed to pass when in the haze of my delirium I saw Dumbledore. Like Pomfrey had done, he invaded my line of vision, his normal pleasant complexion smeared by worry and concentration. The wizard immediately pressed his hand on my forehead. I wanted to ask for his help, but I couldn't hear myself speak if even I was managing it. In my mind I thought I was, and that seemed to be enough.

Through the hand on my head I hear Dumbledore's voice going over the others. "Finite Incantatem" I heard him say though I did not see his mouth move.

I wanted to say that his counter curse would not work, that it wasn't a spell that had made me this way. The words, though impossible for me to utter, got trapped in my throat. Whatever the Headmaster had intended with his curse seemed to do something in me. A chill went coursing through my veins, and for a wonderful moment the pain went away.

That is until my body began to shake violently.

I saw a flask being put in Dumbledore's hand by Madam Pomfrey, and he wasted no time in making me drink it. Before the potion completely went down my throat, everything turned black.

…


	12. Chapter 12: In St Mungo's

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

 **Chapter 12:** In St. Mungo's

For a long moment, as I came to, there was a gut fear in me that I could not shake off.

I hadn't been dreaming or anything; my mind was blank as little by little I realized that I was waking up. My eyes refused to open, influenced by the complete exhaustion I felt brim from the very core of my being. I had the sensation of being spent. I used all there was for me to use in terms of energies and the such, making me now incapable of even opening my eyes.

Laying, in what I could feel was a layered bed, I tried to remember what had happened to put me into such a situation.

I had not forgotten anything. There was no pain in me, but I could remember its lingering presence in every cell of my body. It was a tingling commotion that pushed away the laziness of a dreamless night. Somehow I had stopped myself from changing into an animal. Whether I was an animagus or not, I did not know, but the experience of it had left me scared. Whatever Dumbledore had done helped with the pain of negating the morphing, gave way for another type of ache. I can't quite explain just what I felt when the Headmaster uttered his spell and I lost control over my body. In a way I can remember feeling a new kind of pain, which destroyed me at the same time as I didn't feel it.

Opening my eyes, my vision took a bit more than a minute to get fully adjusted to actually notice my surroundings.

The minute gone, I looked around. The place was more familiar than I liked to admit. Pushing the bed sheet that covered my whole body, I saw the gown I was wearing. I sighed. I was in St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, again.

I was in a hospital bed, in a room I would describe as nicer than what one would expect hospital rooms to be like. It reminded me much of the one I had stayed in during the summer that I kind of figured it must had been the same one. I hadn't done much exploring on my first stay; therefore, I had no idea if there were more alike. That led me to believe that I must be in the Fourth Floor again, were Spell Damages were treated for as much as I remembered that was the only Hospital category I could fit into.

I wondered if what happened had been bad enough that Madam Pomfrey couldn't handle it and for that I was sent to St. Mungo's or if it was just because of the Ministry of Magic.

As I was the only living descendant of one of the most powerful wizards in history, and was presumably under age to boot, I was a ward of the Ministry. From the moment I had appeared, to the very moment I was stuck in, my every action was monitored by an office of the magical government. Last time I was in the hospital the Minister himself, Harold Minchum had come to visit me. I found myself hoping for that to not happen again.

There was a knock on the door, but whoever it was did not wait for me to speak up. A woman came in dressed in lime-green robes with an embroidered emblem on her chest which showed a wand and bone, crossed. The lovely looking witch stared at me, smiling when she met my eyes.

"Morning, Faraday." She called as she walked to stand next to me on the bed.

I remembered her, of course. Alessia Green, a young Trainee Healer that was very friendly to me during my stay in the summer. "Alessia? You're still here?"

"Yes, the Head Healer declined my transfer. She claims I have a better future here." Her face had fallen a bit at my rude comment, but I did not feel bad. All she ever talked to me about during the summer was about her getting some fancy apprenticeship in Norway. I was surprised to see her. "You're here too, again."

I sighed at that. "Did you read my file?"

She shook her head. "I wasn't allowed to."

That seemed odd, considering that she was one of the people taking care of me. The Minister was really particular on who to let in on the secret that was me. Alessia didn't know I was a descendant of Merlin, as everyone else in the world, but I would have imagined she knew what my aliment was. "Then why are you here then?"

"I supposed it's just so you have a familiar face to look at."

I didn't say anything. Whoever had ordered Alessia to meet with me had not done me a great favor. Sure, it was nice to see the young Trainee; however I needed someone that could help me make sense of what happened. I needed the Headmaster or my assigned Healer.

"Tell me about school. How have you been enjoying Hogwarts?" With a wave of her wand, she moved a chair that had been pushed back to a wall. She sat as she excitedly waited for me to speak. "Oh, almost slipped my mind! I was instructed to tell you that Albus Dumbledore will come later on today to speak to you. That is after Head Healer Pyek speaks to him."

Well, I had that to look forward to once I finished with Alessia.

* * *

My dinner tray had been taken away when Dumbledore knocked on my door.

He was dressed in rich colored robes and like Alessia earlier; he did not bother to wait for me to invite him in. The wizard looked as pleasant as ever when he stood next to me. I had been sitting on my bed, and the only thing I could do as he neared was half smile. It wasn't a smile I was feeling. In all regards, I only smiled so not to seem rude.

We sat regarding each other.

His twinkling eyes were on me and that was enough to make me annoyed. Being under Albus Dumbledore's stare always put me on edge. I liked to say to him that I was nervous, it had worked during the summer when he had taught me magic, but it was more contempt that I felt than anything else.

"You've been avoiding me." He said.

I didn't want to meet his eyes. He would see the lie and that would make thing worst than they were already. "Catching up to the current curriculum isn't as easy as you think."

"I don't think it is, Miss Nolan."

Silence.

Dumbledore's shoulders rose and fell as he rested himself comfortably in the chair next to my bed. After a bit more of mutual staring, he spoke, pointing to me with his hand. "Now please, tell me what happened."

I sighed. This was a conversation I did not want to have. As much as Dumbledore was on my side, and the only thing that he wanted was to help me, I didn't trust him. Okay, that's not entirely true. I trusted him with most things. He was one of a handful of people that knew every aspect of my situation, and was kind enough to donate their time for my benefit. He was the first person to teach me magic. He was the one that set me on the path I was taking. However, there was something particular of Albus Dumbledore that I could not stand. Maybe it was his authority figure, or that he seemed to be able to read my mind, either way he got me annoyed fast. It didn't help matters that he reminded me of Merlin and vise versa. That was not something I enjoyed. "I was looking up information in the Library and the book I was reading mentioned something else. So I searched for that."

"What was that something you were looking up?"

Shit. I racked my brain for excuses but found the need to just say the truth. I could not get away with a lie. "Animagus," I said. "Before you ask professor, could I please keep the reasons to myself?"

He nodded looking as understanding as he always did. Merlin, I hated that sometimes. "I will not pry into every aspect of what you chose to learn. Animagus is a lesson given in third year of Transfiguration. It is common enough knowledge." Again he waved his hand at me. "Please continue."

"Well, I accidentally started reading the steps into morphing, and I began to do it." I did a pause to look at him. To try to see a reaction, there was none. He looked at me expectant to continue. "But I didn't want to. That's not why I went there for. Then I tried really hard to stop, and I did! I stopped changing." Though I was pleased that I did what I wanted, my face set into a frown. "Everything began to hurt, then. I thought I was dying." I could feel the enduring strands of that pain. "What happened, Professor?"

Dumbledore listened intently to my every word. "It's just as you said, you stopped it. Somehow, you put a halt to your blood knowledge." His eyes pierced right into me in a soft way, and it gave me the urge to get up to run off.

"How could that be possible?" I voiced out, pushing the uncertain feelings away. No use having those kinds of thoughts.

"There's no reason to believe it is not possible. We barely know anything of what Merlin passed down to you. It might be completely probable that you could manage to control what you relearn. Clearly, there are copious amounts of information that we are missing. I still retain the permit for access of the Order of Merlin's Private Collection, and have been researching accordingly, but even I have my limits. And time is an unpardonable master. Forgive me Faraday, for being of little help."

I ignored his sincere apology. There were more pressing confusions in my mind. "And the spell you used? I didn't know it could be used to stop transfiguration."

He shook his head, making the little bell that decorated his beard tie jingle. "Finite Incantatem was not intended to stop your morphing. The spell only counters spells." He said in that wise-old wizard teacher way that he always used to explain things. I was about to ask, when he continued. "My intention and overall result was to stop, if only for a moment, Merlin's spell on your blood."

That sure shocked me. As far as I knew, Merlin was this all powerful being, and no one could match his ingenuity and his power. Apparently, Dumbledore had done it. "You can do that?"

"It was not as easy as just saying the words. It took a toll from both of us. And in that matter, I would like to ask for your forgiveness, once more. I should have assessed the situation better and considered the option that mayhap my plan would not work in our favor."

This apology I did accept with a nod. I wanted to say that he did manage to do something, and that trying to stop my pain was better than doing nothing at all, but I didn't. I rather have that one piece over him, than taken away from me. "Do you think I can transform, sir?"

He smiled as if with it I would infer that the possibilities were not absolutes. And I did infer that. It was not as simple as yes or no. "You would need to try, for us to know."

"I don't want to. I didn't want to in the first place, even less now that all that happened." I said looking away from him. There wasn't much in my hospital room; therefore I ended up just looking at a wall. The idea of being able to change into an animal should be an appealing one. But unless I was sure that my animagus form was true to me and me alone, I would never try to morph again.

The Headmaster seemed to understand and accept that. That was something Dumbledore always did that ticked me off. He accepted all I dished out with the level head of a wise-old wizard.

"When can I go back to school?"

"In three days time."

Obviously, I began to protest.

He raised a hand to silence me. It worked. "The Healers and the Minister both voted for a week; you need plentiful amounts of rest. However, they seemed to have forgotten what sixth year is like in Hogwarts, and how seven days of work can severely influence a term. Therefore, I asked for the time to be reduced. Three days here, and the rest of the week you'll be under Madam Pomfrey's vigilance in school."

I could not argue with that, or hate him for it. He did all he could, and I understood that. And if for a moment I couldn't I would just force-feed myself the fact. I could not do my work if I was dying of exhaustion. "Thank you, Headmaster."

We went through a bit more technical matters after that. Nothing too important. Dumbledore spoke of the Minister and the conversation he had with the Head Healer. He dwelled a bit on the secrecy of my situation and how he wanted me to see him regularly. I had no intention to do that unless forced, but I didn't tell him that. At one point he spoke about the Slytherin portrait and how they had talked a few days ago. True to his words, Merlin had not said anything about my full moon strolls.

When Dumbledore had bid me a 'see you later' and wished for my recovery he lingered by the door. "Faraday, I would advise you to be mindful of the subjects you sit down to research. We don't want this situation to keep repeating itself."

His words alluded to so much more that I found myself staring. I had forgotten completely, that the last time I had been taken from Hogwarts to St. Mungo's I had given him the same excuse of a research session gone wrong. That time had been a lie, but as far as I knew his knowledge on the matter was nonexistent. I was cutting it too close.

"Yes, sir."

...


	13. Chapter 13: Giving thanks

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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 **Chapter 13:** Giving thanks

After three days in the hospital to get my strength up, I was back in my usual place.

I was welcomed early in the morning by Dumbledore, Professor Slughorn and Madam Pomfrey in the Headmaster's office. The travel by Floo Network was as smoothly as ever, allowing me to be able to greet everyone with a smile. What other perfect way to assure that I was alright to return to my daily life than with a cheeky grin?

Luckily, not much was expected for me to sit through. Instructions I had already heard were refreshed to me, and when all the reassuring was done I was allowed to return to Slytherin House.

But not alone, or at least not just with Slughorn. An important part of the agreement Dumbledore had done with the Head Healer of St. Mungo's and the Minister of Magic was that once I arrived in school I was to fall under the responsible wing of Madam Pomfrey, who would be charged with the task of submitting reports to both non-Hogwarts authorities. That was all fine and dandy. I knew that it entailed daily visits to the Hospital Wing, and Dumbledore was quick to shoot me down when I wanted to protest. I was alright with having to spend the rest of the week going daily to the infirmary for a two hour quota. However I was not happy with the idea of the school Healer following me around between classes.

I was assured she would only accompany me around school for short whiles, and that she would definitely escort me from and to my house. But that wasn't enough for me to like it. Hell no, I didn't like it. It only took five minutes after the Headmaster was absolute with his instructions when I decided I would be ignoring the heck out of Pomfrey. It's what I do best, so the rest of the week wouldn't be that bad.

With my two adult tails, I walked out Dumbledore's griffin door to see no one other than the only person I missed while I was at the Hospital.

Upon seeing me, Lily Evans neared me. Already dressed in school robes, she smiled. In front of me she did as if to hug me, but stopped when she noticed I was not alone. She greeted Slughorn and Pomfrey, and the two adults walked a bit away to give us a minute to talk.

"I was so worried about you!" She breathed.

Needless to say, her concerned warmed my heart and shamed me a bit "Sorry."

"Don't say that like it's your fault." Lily berated, rolling her eyes. "Remus told me what happened in the Library, he knows we're friends. I guessed something must have gone wrong with your blood knowledge. Then I went to McGonagall and she was really surprised I knew about it. She filled me in on the rest. And that you were okay."

"Yeah, I only had a slip up."

She seemed to accept that. "We'll talk about it later in our free period after lunch. I have Transfiguration and Charms notes for you."

I stared at her. "You are going to make me cry, seriously."

"That was the point."

That made me guffaw, and she joined me in laughing. This time she did hug me before leaving for the Great Hall.

When I got to the Slytherin portrait, the man in it gave a sigh. I greeted Merlin with a wave of my hand and with Slughorn's help got the painting to agree to wait until later for an extensive talk. He wasn't happy, but he swung open nonetheless. I imagine he already knew everything there was to be known about what happened to me; only that he wanted me to explain things. I would most probably have to explain myself to Merlin the same way I explained myself to Dumbledore. Just the idea that I could not avoid that encounter left me exhausted.

My dorm mates didn't say much when I returned home. They gave me a chewed welcome back, and resisted the urge to want to ask the juicy details of what happened to me. At least Hestia seemed to be agonizing. But like the others, she knew I wasn't about to tell her anything.

As if nothing had happened, I got ready for class, and left for it. The day's professors were very kind to me, well informed of what happened. I had loads of homework and notes to study, but I was allowed a leisure time to do it for a while. However, as I liked to obsess over every aspect of my school work, I had figured that I would be back on my desolated track by another month. I wouldn't be up to date with the curriculum as a sixth year should, but I wouldn't be a week more behind it.

After lunch I had to get some books from my dorm, and Pomfrey walked me to the Slytherin portrait. Merlin assaulted her with question as she waited outside for me. You can imagine my excitement at that.

For dinner, I was deposited on my table in the Great Hall. The Healer went to join the staff, and I was left to have pleasant conversation with Graham and his first year's colleagues. Word had spread in my house about what happened to me in the Library, and the kids were quick in assaulting me with questions. Even though we weren't technically friends, and our socializing was limited to meal times, and even then most times we ignored each other in a good way, I told them a sugarcoated version of the incident.

I did not reveal that I had learned to be an animagus, not even to Lily when I had met her earlier for a good talk. I felt horrible, in her case, of keeping the truth when we were becoming great friends, but it was necessary. As much as I liked to go against Merlin and Dumbledore, I did understand that I had to protect my secret from everyone. Maybe one day I would get to tell Lily, not any time soon, though.

When I was done with my tale, Graham and the other kids let me alone to simmer over my plate of food. I didn't have anything to read, as I normally did during meals, so I settled for staring blankly down my plate.

"Excuse me, Nolan? Faraday Nolan?"

It took me five seconds to remember my name, but I looked up to see two of the infamous Marauders standing a bit to the side of me. Thankfully, it wasn't the ones Lily liked to vent about. The two stood three steps away from me, on behind the other. The one that spoke looked at me with a sort of tense pleasantry, while the one on his back looked nervous. That one's eyes darted from me to everywhere else. His eyes once scrutinized me for far longer than I would had liked, but with a shake of his head and many blinks, he looked away.

I moved sideways on the bench to see them better. What the hell was going on? "Eh, hi."

"I'm Remus Lupin, and this is Peter Pettigrew." He pointed at himself and them at the boy behind him.

For a moment it was impossible for me not to stare blankly at him. There wasn't much for me to do in that kind of situation. My stare went from one boy to the other, occasionally stopping in the Prefect badge in front of me. I'll admit I did feel a bit cornered, even when I knew they meant me no harm. There were too many people for that. And I was sure that regardless of the animosity between my housemates and me, the Slytherins would step in to fight any Gryffindors. It came to being sorted into the house. "I know."

He spoke after my reply sent us down into an awkward silence. "Well, I came to ask how you were feeling, after what happened in the Library."

Oh right, I remembered. Then again, I never really forgot, it just slipped my mind. "You're the one that carried me to the infirmary, right?"

He nodded.

I had felt tense when he spoke to me, but now I felt slightly delighted. Only a fraction, yet more than I was normally capable of being to strangers. "I wanted to thank you, but I wasn't sure just how welcomed a Slytherin would be near the Gryffindor table." That was true. I didn't want to be rude to a person that had helped me, but I was not brave enough to near his table. When I thought about giving my thanks to the Prefect, I figured I would just wait until we had a class together the next day. That or get Lily to help me make an occasion to talk to him. Either of those scenarios would have been less tiresome for me.

"As welcomed as a Gryffindor near the Slytherin table, I would imagine." There was a glint in his eyes that I didn't really get, but if I were to guess I would say it was playfulness.

I looked around my table, and sure enough all the eyes that were pointed in our direction shined with a glare. I was right; my housemates would fight for me if it meant fighting against their biggest rival. I did not count how many pairs of eyes were on us, nor did I notice if any of the other houses were doing the same. That seemed a bit egocentric for me, so I just ignored everyone, in favor of the two boys in front of me that were being true to their House characteristics. Well Lupin looked like he was braving the snake nest; Pettigrew on the other hand looked like he wanted to be on the other side of the castle.

"Point noted." I smiled at the boys and scrambled to my feet. I felt the need to stand, to be more formal. "I'm feeling much better. Thank you so much for your help. You got me to the infirmary in record time. I don't know if I could have managed another minute in that state."

"No need to thank me. Everything was so sudden and confusing. I'm glad I could help."

We smiled at each other for a second.

"What happened to you, anyway?" The other one, Pettigrew asked before the space became more awkward than it should be. Lupin elbowed him.

I smiled at him not really minding his question, though he had seemed a bit rude with the way he asked.

"I had a mental breakdown." I said to him and he eyed me weirdly. My sappy smile wasn't helping, probably. The mental breakdown thing wasn't necessary wrong, my head did go bonkers with the pain. Dumbledore insisted that should I need to give an explanation to what happened that I should say I had a breakdown from all the studying. So far, with Lupin and Pettigrew included, I've only told three people Dumbledore's excuse. Well, I didn't technically tell Lily, McGonagall did, but the point is that she knew.

He raised an eyebrow, moving a bit so that he wasn't quite hiding behind his friend. "Does that happen a lot?"

I shrugged "It was the first of that magnitude."

"Maybe you should take a break now and then." Lupin offered me. And though I would have like to say that I would try, in favor of the good deed he did for me, it was not possible.

"You take the same classes I do, right?"

At that he chuckled, they both kind of did. I did not know what other classes they took, but we shared three, and they were enough to keep me up awake at night, even in the hospital just stressing about them. I had no clue about their situation in them, but breaks would soon become a luxury, once I jumped fully into my work again.

I was about to say something, when a call broke over the ocean of voices in the Great Hall. Someone called from the door to Lupin and Pettigrew, and it didn't take a glance to know who it was. James Potter passed a hand through his hair, as Sirius Black seemed to be releasing him from a headlock. They were laughing and out of breath as they beckoned their friends to them.

The boys in front of me and by boys I mean only Remus Lupin, said goodbye to me as they went to walk away. I said my own farewell, as I watched them go. I could feel the eyes of all the students in my table, but I didn't let that affect me. I stared away as the Marauders reunited by the door of the Hall. Potter and Black stared back at me. Obviously I could not see their expression well from the distance I was at, however I couldn't evade the feeling of being scrutinize.

Turning away completely from them, I saw Madam Pomfrey heading my way.

I sighed.

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AN: Heads up, the next chapter is gonna be extremely short. Also, double time skip coming soon.


	14. Chapter 14: December's run

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction created sorely to satisfy my imagination. Harry Potter and anything/everything related to the novels belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing in this fanfic that might be recognizable as belonging to the canon of HP.

 **AN** : Short, simple and late. I don't like how this chapter turned out, but the plot must go on and I can't fall behind.

Also, I would like to give an ecstatic thank you to all the lovely people that have commented, favorite and followed this story. You guys make my day, and inspire me to write more and faster. I've got a crazy and long story planned out that I hope to finish with all of you. I hope I won't take too long writing it. XD

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 **Chapter 14:** December run

The thought that I could in 'theory' turn into an animagus crossed my mind as I sat with the pack, but I quickly forgot it with one glace at the moon.

That I had a new ability and that it could answer questions that in my day to day I tried to ignore, didn't seemed to face much. Then again, nothing faced me when I was on the hold of Lady Moon. All was alright, nothing mattered, and if I wanted to know the true identities of the animals that met me in the Forbidden Forest for a monthly run, then I would just have to wait for the matter to settle itself.

In the etherealness I felt on every pore of my body, not one thing mattered beyond just existing. Just being there to feel good, and enjoy myself with the company of the pack.

"I've see your eyes somewhere else." I said in a voice that didn't sound like my own to the dog as I held its face between my hands.

The rat sat up top my crossed legs. Both the werewolf and the stag were next to me, curled up as we rested. They were peaceful in the silence my strange voice interrupted; tired by the running we had done for hours. I had not voiced out that I knew what they were, for I was sure that should I do it, they would understand me perfectly.

"Beautiful gray eyes." I whispered to myself as I pet the dogs shinny black fur.

It was snowing, it had been for days, but at the moment I could not feel the harsh cold.

The pack, meeting me in the forest under the spell of the moon and running all night, had led me to a place I had never seen before. They had beckoned me, barked, grunted and bellowed to follow them away from our normal paths in the Forbidden Forest.

I glided after them, losing myself in the run, ecstatic over the feel of the wet blanket of snow beneath my feet.

It didn't take long for my eyes to look beyond the edge of trees, to see what we came upon. It was a desolated plain with one building in its center. The light of the moon only allowed me to see shadows, but it was enough for me to know it was a house. Somehow, I knew that it was empty; the same way I knew it was the pack's den.

Maybe it was the knowledge that in a couple of short hours the moon would lose its effect on me, but as the pack pushed me toward the house, I pushed my feet steadily onto the ground. I cannot explain it, as normally I cannot explain what takes over me during that one night of the month, the reason as to why I, for the first time, did not want to follow my animagus friends into the decrepit house. It was a strange feeling; the one to stay rooted to the spot and not take another step forward.

So, I let myself down on the ground, and resisted the three protesting creatures. Brushing against my arms, and butting me with their snouts, they urged me to move, fighting against my stubbornness. However, I was not to move. I looked up to the moon, letting her rays wash over me as I ignored them. They stopped as soon as I beckoned the werewolf to sit with me. It did not waste time; it did not ask anything more of me, as the other were now doing. When the werewolf had gotten comfortable next to me, the other three could do nothing.

We had sat there for I do not care how long, and nothing had happened until the dog near me to demand my attention. I gave it, delighted. However, now the spell of the full moon was ending, and she was losing her hold on me as I let go of the dog's head. It looked at me expectantly, but whatever was the expression I gave it back, I do not know.

It seemed as if the werewolf and I were connected, and at the very same moment, Lady Moon let go of us. When I let go of the dog, the werewolf awoke, standing to scamper away. The stag followed.

Watching it go, it went to the direction of the decrepit house. Soon in the distance, I could see the werewolf entering it. The stag was half way there, but it had stopped to look back at me. The dog and the rat had stayed with me, perking their furry ears at the direction of their calling friend. Their lingering presence was becoming too heavy.

That was for me, the moment to leave them, before I felt too much like my normal self, before the animals had time to react and stop me.


	15. Chapter 15: Slughorn's Christmas party

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction created sorely to satisfy my imagination. Harry Potter and anything/everything related to the novels belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing in this fanfic that might be recognizable as belonging to the canon of HP.

 **AN:** A much longer chapter to make up for the last. Don't get use to that ;). A lot is said here, and I hope it's not too much. Next chapters are gonna go through the timeline a bit faster than the previous ones. So far I've been trying to establish Faraday as a character (I hope I managed it XD) and that has made things slow in my opinion. I'm not staying it's always gonna go fast (cuz right now I only mean chap 16 and 17), but it's time to jump into the part in the summary that's after 'sixth year of Hogwarts' and before the parenthesis. Spoiler! \\(^o^)/

* * *

 **Chapter 15:** Slughorn's Christmas party

I didn't have a date for Slughorn's Christmas party, and I couldn't say I cared.

Boys are stupid and I don't like anyone of them in Hogwarts. There, I said it. I would just have a girl's night out with myself, if Lily's date decided to hog her all throughout the party. The Slug Club meetings were events that had turned into Lily and Faraday time devoid of studying, and I was sure Lily wasn't going to ignore me when I didn't have revising to occupy me just for a boy.

There were no more studying to be done for the term, and I would have leisure time during the Christmas break for homework and extra study. Tonight was for social networking and having fun. That is what Slughorn said to me during my last office visit. I imagined my night would be balance between being introduced to 'special guests' and hiding behind Lily and her date. I was not looking forward to meeting strangers, mainly for the fact that I was only interested in the 'having fun' part of the party description.

One of the other things I was not looking forward to leading up to the party, were dress robes. I didn't have any to start with, and I had to go to Professor McGonagall to see if she could get me something decent. She was kind enough to provide them just in time. Like I said, there were decent. Nothing like the ones I had seen my dorm mates had stored up in their trunks and dressers, but alright nonetheless. They were of a slightly faded murky blue, matched with gold embellishments from the shoulder to the hem of the skirt.

"That's what you are wearing?" Hestia asked.

I was in the middle of brushing my hair, as in our dorm, we were getting ready for the party. That's with the exception of Gertrude, who had not received an invitation, and was passing the time sitting on her bed, looking at her friends make themselves pretty. Mafalda had stepped into the washing room, a while ago, so I had only three pairs of eyes on me.

I raised my eyes to meet Hestia's, not really getting her tone. She was looking at me from the other side of the room, sitting on the edge of her bed as she polished her shoes. She hadn't put her robes on yet, but they looked vibrant and very different from mine just lying on the bed.

"Is there something wrong with it?" I knew what she was getting at and I honestly didn't need that to put me in a bad mood.

"Yes, it looks like it belonged to my mother when _she_ was in Hogwarts."

"I don't know, maybe it did." Sure, I replied with attitude, but as far as I knew, it could be true. I had no idea where McGonagall had gotten the robes from. It could possibly have been from a bin Hestia's mother had donated in. "Does it look bad?"

Hestia seemed uncertain. "It's not bad, just incredibly out of style."

"For a Slytherin you mean?"

She nodded.

I looked at the rest of the girls that were paying attention. Gertrude was eying an old Daily Prophet edition and Gemma was close to the wall mirror. In her hand she had flower bud ornaments she had been charming to bloom every few seconds on her hair. I didn't understand what Hestia meant with out of style, especially since I didn't know what style meant for wizards and witches. Sure, my dress was different from the other girls, but not by much. What made it out of style, aside from its faded look?

I sighed, deciding to clear a couple things between all of us. "Gringotts is withholding my vault key until I'm seventeen. It's this or nothing. " I felt the need to explain this to the girls at that moment. Deep inside I knew I had to prove myself to them as a true Slytherin, and talking about money was a good way to go. Of course, blood purity was the best one, but after what had happened at the beginning of the year between us, I really had no intention of letting them into such a secret. Besides, it was a good excuse to get them off my back about the contents of my trunk.

That seemed to get the reaction that I had intended. They casted down their eyes, sad for me, apparently.

"I guess the dress would look fine if you twist your hair up." Hestia said, looking to the other girls for confirmation.

I nodded and headed for the bathroom, desperately eager to leave the room. Honestly, I didn't have much against my dorm mates, and if I did it was teenage-girl crap that any normal person would find annoying. We criticized, talked rubbish behind the other's back, and gave bad looks to each other. I suppose that I did regret a tad the emotional/social situation we were in. At the beginning of the term when we met, I had been incredibly hopeful that they would turn out to be amazing friends, and for a couple of days, that had been the case. Then the September full moon happened and I ruined it.

Mafalda was in the bathroom finishing up her make-up when I came in. Her eyes evaded mine, leaving me to believe that she had heard what I said.

Good. Be sorry for my currently empty pockets.

Standing in front of a mirror, I began to twist my hair up to see just how I could make it look decent. My normal simple bun was out of the question, but I also had no idea as to how to do anything else. Lily had claimed something about making waves with her hair for the night, and I honestly didn't even know how to imagine that.

Again I sighed, and opted to pinch my cheeks to give myself color. Maybe that pain would help me come up with something.

"Um," Mafalda broke the silence, surprising me a little for I had not noticed that she had moved closer to me. Heck, I forgot she was there. With my eyes on her, she pointed back to her mirror. "We have the same skin tone, so if you wish to use my make-up, I'll let you for tonight. But be extra careful with them."

She left as soon as she stopped talking.

I had no idea my sentence about being poor until next year would cause a shift in my dorm mates to such an extent. I'm not saying that the girls are complete bitches, but Merlin's beard what the hell?

* * *

Ten minutes before eight, I left Slytherin House.

I settled with pulling my hair up to a bun, like I normally did. Hair was such a complicated thing that daresay I don't care about it beyond having it neatly brushed and away from my face when needed. To make it seem like I tried, I made two braids on both sides of my head and tied them in to the bun. Simple, but I liked it.

Though I tried resisting the urge, I did make use of Mafalda's offer. I didn't take much, most of what I used was to cover the bags under my eyes, and some lip coloring, but I was really excited about what I had managed.

I made it to Professor Slughorn's office in a few minutes, and just like we had intended, Lily was waiting for me by the door.

"Lily! You look gorgeous." I said to her as I neared her. She was as vibrant and lively as ever, the green robes she had chosen for the even sat nicely with her. They accentuated her natural beauty, and complemented it in a way that made me feel a bit jealous. It was jealousy of the good kind, though. Or at least, I didn't feel negative about it. She had managed to make waves in her hair, and I stared amazed at how her hair looked like a violent red ocean. It was wonderful.

"And you! You're so pretty. " She smiled looking me over. I expected her eyes to change to match somewhat the glint my dorm mates had had earlier, but they didn't. Lily looked at me like she meant what she said, and it made me happy. This is what it felt like having a friend and I have no clue how I managed to live for months without one.

I looked away from her to the rest of the crowd that was gathered, less I get carried away with emotion. People, students and special visitors were filling into the office.

"Where's your date? Uric was it?" I asked her.

"He must be inside already."

Uric Belby was a Ravenclaw from our year. He and Lily had fancied each other for some time, ever since they had gotten over an argument in a Prefect meeting. Both had been teamed up for Halloween and later Christmas decorating. They knew each other well already and had hit it off quite nicely some weeks ago. They've been trying to keep it low to avoid a certain person from find out. Speaking of whom, I couldn't help myself.

"What about Potter? Did he stop dropping hints?" No sooner had the name fallen from my mouth when Lily gave me the most peeved out glare she could ever give me. It was a trademark of whenever Potter was involved.

"No." She looked away from me pouting, giving a wall her stare, as she even went as far as to cross her arms. "The nerve of him, expecting me to invite him to the party. I can't stand him."

Like I didn't know that. "Do you think he'll crash?"

"I wouldn't put it pass him."

She pushed away all thoughts of her unwanted suitor with a shake of her body. When she was sufficiently back in high spirits, and not annoyed at all, she intertwined our arms without notice to drag me to the party.

When we were talking in the hallway, the sounds of the party reached us, but as we near they became louder and louder. Music, numerous conversations and laughter trailed out of the door, and once we passed through it I needed a moment to adjust my ears. The office itself no longer looked like the office I was so used to by now. The green, red, and gold hangings that decorated the place, as well as the different lighting and the crowd of people, gave me the impression of being somewhere else completely. There were students, adults of different prestige, and house elves mingling about, the latter carrying silver platters of delicious looking foods.

"Faraday! Lily!" Slughorn welcomed us wearing his best with a matching hat. "Come in; come this way, darling girls. I've got many people for you to meet."

Slughorn insisted he introduce me to everyone, and I mean everyone. After the fifth introduction, Lily excused herself as she had caught sight of her date Uric, and left me at the mercy of the Professor's networking. His old students were confused when they saw me as they took into consideration Slughorn's marvel toward me, and the lack of it that my appearance induced. My guess is that my dear Head of House just wanted to be the first to introduce me, so that in the future when I was safe to reveal that I descended from the legendary Merlin, he would have the satisfaction of having networked me around his old prized students. I can't say I was ticked off, considering that I knew that could help me in the future when I had no clue as to what to do with my life, and needed a job.

My guess, and how I managed that ordeal, was thinking that it would soon end. When there was no one else to be introduced, and Slughorn got entertained by someone else, I would slip away. That or Lily would come in to save me. We had agreed on that the day before when we prepped for the party.

Sure enough, I hadn't seen Lily in what I would call an eternity or a little more than half an hour, as I had been ensnared by a lady from the Ministry of Magic and her husband who was a published writer, when she came to my rescue. The pair had noticed Slughorn's particular esteem of me. When he left, the couple immersed me in a conversation that started with the braids in my head and reached my family ancestry. They pushed for me to recite my entire family tree because apparently that was something pure wizards could do. Lily must have noticed my desperation from her own conversation with an old student for she came in to save me.

She led the way toward Uric Belby, who waited for us by a tapestry hung over a window. He held two goblets, one in each hand. There was a third levitating next to him. When we neared he offered Lily and I one of the goblets, once his hand were freed he took the levitating one. We took a drink in solidarity. I'm not sure what it was, but the drink felt good going down.

"Having fun, Nolan?" Uric spoke by the time I had gulped down most of the content of my goblet.

"Is that a joke? Because if it is then this is the most fun I've had so far, Belby." It was all in good nature, and he took it at such, chuckling before he took a sip of his drink. I turned to Lily, who was scanning the party like she was in charge of its security. I had to tease. "Who are you looking for?"

She looked at me as a spooked deer would if I invaded its grazing trails. I could not resist the urge to smirk at her expression, or the fact that I knew very well what she, or better yet, who she was looking for.

"Lily's afraid Potter will swing in like Tarzan."

"I am not afraid. It's called being vigilant." She replied to her date. She didn't have the Prefect badge over her chest, but as she said that it was easy to imagine it there shining brightly.

I knew for a fact that mentioning the Quidditch Captain could send Lily down rows and rows of bickering, but that didn't make me stop. "Give him a break; he's probably a good guy."

"He _is_ a good chap." Belby added.

"Why are you both defending him?" Lily demanded, her voice raised a tad too much over the sounds of the party. A nearby invitee turned her head our way, but we ignored her. "And you, Uric! You know what's he's capable of and the lengths he will go to stalk me. Don't you remember that night in the empty classroom, after we—"

"O-ho! I don't need to hear that!" I said walking away as Lily went on. She yelled after me, but I just raised my goblet up as a signal I hoped she understood. Dodging very cheery person that greeted me along the way, I tried not to stumble on the elves that walked around my knees, holding up trays for me to choose food from.

At the beverage table, an elf filled up my goblet of the same drink Belby had given me. I took a sip of it, felling extremely content with the night. I had to put up with a lot of strangers and being the third wheel, but it felt good to not be alone by some corner.

All was fine and well, until pestilence incarnated reeled its ugly head next to me.

"So you do value traditionalism and decency."

It was hard to keep myself composed as Lorcan Mulciber smiled down at me. Dressed impeccably, his wavy blond hair was tied back in a way that gave truth to his pureblood birth status. His clothes, a combination of black and emerald made him look like he could get anything he wanted, and the reality of it always frightened me. He held a crystal goblet in a delicate hand, and it shone in the candle light as the beautiful amber of its liquid content.

I did what I always did when he spoke to me, looked away ignoring him. My shoulders tensed the second I heard his voice. It was a natural reaction to do that whenever he was present.

"Though," He continued looking me over with a gentle snarl. "You lack elegance and beauty."

"Thank you for thinking that." I said through gritted teeth. Honestly, I rather he showered me with insults than, Grandfather Merlin forbid, compliments.

I felt two of his fingers brush against my arm, as if he was feeling the fabric of my sleeve. I turned to look at him. Lorcan's eyes were down, intently on the movements of his fingers. It felt horrible. The up and down feel of his slimy appendages were nauseating. I wanted nothing more that run away and cut my arm off. Somehow at the moment, it seemed like the only possible way to prevent his touch from corrupting the rest of my body.

"Shame. I would very much like to see you in high quality robes. The right fabric makes a hefty difference. Maybe that will bring out the pureblood in you."

On the other side of the room, Lily and Uric were talking to what I think was a professional Quidditch player, I couldn't remember right when he was introduced to me. Feeling the stare, Lily met my eyes, and her expression changed instantly. Her brows furrowed, and her level of concentration and determination gave me a bit of strength. She could tell something was wrong and she would come to my rescue.

"The lioness is ready to prowl."

I stared up at him. Mulciber had seen the exchange between Lily and me.

He looked at me intently, his green eyes seeming to take all of me at once to tear me down into little pieces. It was the most horrifying sensation, always, to be regarded so strongly by a person that repulsed you in every possible way. "A sad excuse for a witch, if you ask me. A mudblood."

"Don't call her that!"

"Defending filth now, aren't you. Faraday, Faraday." The way he said my name was always awful, but intoning it made it worse. "To steep so low, tch. You are nobler than that, I think."Unexpectedly he grabbed my arm, hurting, at the same time as he softly jerked me against his body. His words were like venomous ice, dripping sickly into my ear as he spoke with his vice-like grip. "She is filth and you are soiling yourself just by looking her way."

I tried to pull away from him, but that only served to make him tighten his hold on me.

Lily by now was standing in front of us. Uric had followed her, and though I don't think the red head told him what she was doing, I think he could see what had made his date cross the room in a hurry. He stood behind her ready to help as the witch grabbed my other arm, her death stare set on Lorcan Mulciber. He met her with the same animosity, and did not move. It was a challenge; one I was devastated to see Lily accept it. For a long while we stood there in a silent fight, as the young man and woman stared at each other.

I personally thought it would last forever, but a call over the music made Lorcan move away, leaving without acknowledging that he had lost.

Lily puffed her chest as she pulled me to walk in the opposite direction. Her grip, though as tight as Mulciber's had been didn't feel uncomfortable. The contrary, it made me feel safe and warm and like I could take over the world so long as I had that contact."That's the last time I leave you alone with that brute."

"I owe you my life." Faraday said relieved.

* * *

At midnight, guest began to make their leave. With polite goodbyes to the people we had been engrossed with talking, we too left. Slughorn, if slightly tired didn't look it. His face was flushed, and boisterous, seeming like he could keep going for longer still.

Outside of the office, Lily led the way to our normal waiting spot for the Slug Club, which also served as the place we had our talks after the meetings. Not many people were loitering around, and those who were paid us no mind.

Uric offered to walk Lily back to her House, but she shot him down. Of course, she hadn't done it to be nasty or to reject him; she was doing it for his well being and that of their young relationship. He accompanying her to the Gryffindor Tower could stir up trouble with a capital P, and Lily wanted to save Uric the hassle for now.

He left, but not before I had to turn around so that he and Lily could snog each other goodnight.

The Gryffindor turned to me with a smile, and I returned it as a gesture of good will. I was happy that she had someone special that made her that blissful. In my eyes, Lily Evans deserved everything good in this world. And I wanted to be there for all of it, so that maybe it would rub off on me.

"I wish you weren't leaving tomorrow." I voiced out. It had been bugging me since she told me a week before, but I decided to ignore it so to not depress myself.

"I wish you didn't have to stay here all alone." Her sincerity warmed my heart like only she could. "Though, I know it'll be okay. You'll be studying so much you won't even notice that I'm not there."

A devious smirk stretched in my face in response to hers and her delightful jab. "That's mean, Lily! Though, true."

"You'll write to me, wont you? Its only two weeks but I don't know how long I can go without your obsessive antics."

"Sure, I'll need a break from going mad."

The Ministry had given me a special allowance, and I hadn't found a way to spend it after I got my supplies for school. Now that I would have someone to write to, I could use it on a rental owl. The thought of spending money and writing to someone excited me more than I should be, considering I would be alone for two weeks. Lily was my only friend in the castle, and all my dorm mates were leaving too. I would be alone, switching between studying and talking to Merlin. At least I had the portrait to talk to, though I didn't like to do that too often.

"Lily-flower!"

Glare set on to kill, we didn't even need to recognize his voice to know who it was. Potter wasn't alone, and I wondered if he ever was. His lackey, I mean friend, Black was by his side. Both had emerged from nothing and that was something I did not like for they always did that.

"Couldn't let me be for one night, couldn't you, Potter?"

"How is that surprising, when my love for you shines brighter than Dumbledore's patronus?" He did an exaggerated gesture that belonged in a theater performance as he spoke.

I saw the corner of Lily's mouth twitch, and it was totally understandable. Though ignored by the side, I could not hold in the grin. Though a complete snob, he was poetic. She regarded the two of them, with a controlled exasperation, as one would deal with annoying kids. "At least the two of you didn't show uninvited to the party."

"We were going to crash, but the party looked like it had gone to the dogs." Black said, sending a smirk to his friend, who returned it tenfold by his side.

His words caused me scoff and I had no idea why. That made the three look back at me, as if they had forgotten I was there. Well, the two guys did, Lily just stood there slightly confused at my outburst. I was heavily scrutinized by the two Marauders and I can't say I liked the feeling.

"Who are you again?" Sirius said looking at me bizarrely, as if he was seeing me for the first time standing there.

"Faraday."

It was eerie, the way the sound of my name made them faintly jump. The boys eyed me strangely for a second as if instead of my voice they had heard the caw of a bird or something. I'm sure I'm over reacting and over reading their reaction, but it still felt strange. Their staring reminded me of Mulciber, and how he grabbed me with his eyes to look at every inch of me. Black and Potter were trying; however it didn't feel like they were getting anywhere. To me it seemed like their eyes had a veil that kept them from reaching the answers they were looking for by staring. I was glad. I was glad that something kept them in the dark, for I had no desire to be at the mercy of more boys.

Whatever was going on ended abruptly. Black moved away to give his friend a nudge on the arm, and wasted no time in walking away. Not one thing was said between the two, but they had reached an understanding, and I got the feeling it was because of something behind me.

Sure enough, a cat came up the hallway that led to the Slytherin common room, and its presence obviously had an effect on the Gryffindor boys. One was halfway through a corridor and the other smiled sweetly at Lily Evans.

"Come Lils, its bed time."

"What did you do now Potter? Potter!" She stared, hard. I would not like to be on the receiving end of that glare. However, Potter took it lightly, nodding toward his friend and starting to walk his way. Her demand unanswered, Lily turned to me, her cheeks flushed, and her chest puffing in need of the Prefect badge. "You'll see me off tomorrow, right?"

"Wouldn't miss it." I said and Lily soon engulfed me in a hug.

She gave me a prolonged squeeze. Mrs. Norris meows drummed rolled Filch's footsteps as they got closer, and Lily could only give me a smile as a goodbye. With her skirt blazing, she set off after the two Marauders, set on knowing what sort of trouble they had unleashed for them to run away from the caretaker.

I, again, walked back to my dorm alone.

When I got there, I saw just why Potter and Black had run off.

...


	16. Chapter 16: Christmas break

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction created sorely to satisfy my imagination. Harry Potter and anything/everything related to the novels belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing in this fanfic that might be recognizable as belonging to the canon of HP.

* * *

 **Chapter 16:** Christmas break

I was alone in Slytherin House.

All my housemates had gone home for the Christmas holidays and when I say all I mean every one of them. The only Slytherins in the castle left were me and some people in paintings, and they didn't strictly count.

For the first three days of the break, I enjoyed the complete solitude. It wasn't like during the term, where I was alone while being surrounded by people. Being alone-alone felt good in the sense that I didn't feel bad for being so. I wasn't being socially rejected or antisocial, I was just and simply alone. Obviously I saw sick of it by the third day.

I had written to Lily two times by then, and I was seriously missing her and her company.

The Great Hall was too massive for the students it had for the break. We were only a handful watched over by another handful of teachers and staff in a giant room with five huge tables. During meals, I imagined I looked ridiculous sitting alone on my table. At least the other houses had a minimum of two students, except for Hufflepuff. There was an orphan boy from Hufflepuff that was sitting with two Ravenclaw brothers that were also the only student representation of their house for the holidays. So that table was empty next to mine.

Up until now, I have tended to eat my meals quickly to leave the hugeness of the Hall. I spent my three days between reading and taking notes in the Library, to reading and taking notes in the Slytherin common room. Going anywhere else was a hassle because of the abysmal cold that invaded the hallways. My coat was cozy, but too heavy and it was a hassle walking to places with it. Even Merlin agreed with me, when he first saw me fumbling with it as I sat in front of him for our daily talk.

The only time I lingered in the Great Hall after finishing my meal was on Christmas Eve. It was post day. I waited for a few minutes and sure enough a rental owl dropped my very first letter. It was from Lily of course, but the lack of surprise didn't damper my high spirits. I replied her as soon as I finished reading and walking to the Owlery.

Christmas morning, I almost had a heart-attack when I saw a small box at the bottom of my bed.

It was a present from Lily. There was no possible way for me to keep my face straight. I smiled excitedly as I dug open the package to see what my friend had gotten me. There were a couple of items. The first and largest one was a studying schedule. The only way I can describe it as the most beautiful piece of enchanted parchment I had ever seen. It had wonderful markings all around that were charmed to morph into encouraging words that made me wish the term would immediately begin so I could take them to heart. In the box there was also an assortment of yummy candies, of which I wasted no time in eating, hence the reason I didn't got down to the Great Hall from breakfast or lunchtime.

Lily also got me a warm jumper, and I was delighted to see that it was a size that fit me perfectly. Other than my white nightgown, it was the only piece of clothing I now had that was my size.

"I wonder if she got mine." I said out loud in the empty dorm.

I had gotten her a gift from owl-order of an advertisement I saw in the Daily Prophet. I would had much prefer to get her something I could had picked up myself, not to mention give it in person, but the fact that I was stuck in school with no place to go to and I hadn't thought of going to the village Hogsmeade, damaged that intention as soon as I had thought it when Lily left.

I think Lily would be okay with what I got her and how. A set of multicolored quills looked fabulous to me when I saw them at the back of the newspaper. It was a shame though, that for an extra couple of galleons I could have gotten her name engraved but I came short.

I did nothing all day, I even tried not picking up a book or any of my notes for the sake of Holiday cheer. Obviously I was so bored out of my mind that I ended up sitting with Merlin most of the day, hearing stories the painting could remember about himself when he went to Hogwarts.

* * *

For dinner, I figured I should try to make myself a bit more presentable than normal. I put on Lily's jumper, and left to sit alone for Christmas dinner. I don't really know what I was expecting for I have no recollection of a previous holiday, but my instinct told me it would be a special occasion, and that I had to treat it as such. Plus McGonagall had told me 'Don't be late for the Christmas Feast, Miss Nolan', so my guess was that the school had something particular planned.

The Great Hall was pregnant with decorations, its twelve Christmas trees being the most spectacular of them. It had been that beautiful since they were placed at the beginning of the month, and they did make the air about extra special. For the first time, I saw the house tables pushed to the side, free of seats. In the middle of the Hall was one short table, perfect for accommodating the handful of students and staff members that had stayed for the holidays.

Dumbledore headed the table, and all around there were a total of six students from the other houses, of which I only recognized Peter Pettigrew. In between sat McGonagall, Madam Pomfrey, Professor Flitwick, Hagrid and Filch the caretaker.

As I walked to them, all seemed cheery and whatnot to me until I noticed where I had to sit. The last remaining chair was between Dumbledore and Pettigrew.

I had no choice but to sit next to the Gryffindor, I was the last one to get there so most of the eyes of the table followed me from the entrance to the seat. Even if I didn't want to be in such proximity to the Headmaster, I guess it wasn't that bad sitting next to a person I had actually talked to, if it had been only for a second. The other students, the two Gryffindor girls, the Hufflepuff orphan and the Ravenclaw twins, I had never seen them before in my time in Hogwarts. Though, that isn't too surprising. I limited myself to my House, the Library and my classes; other than the students my age and my Slytherin housemates I knew none else's face.

"Hi," I said to him as I sat next to him. When I spoke he looked up, his watery blue eyes washing with confusion. "Its Peter right?"

He nodded looking at me like he wasn't sure of anything at that moment as he squinted his eyes. "You're Faraday Nolan."

"That's me." I was glad that for some reason no one was paying attention to us. The staff was engrossed in a conversation that they tossed around from each side of the table. "Mind if I sit here?"

He shook his head.

I don't know why I asked; I was already sitting. There was no reason for me to. There was the one seat left, and regardless of the situation, or rivalries or whatever, it was rude to deny me the chair. Ever more so, considering we were at the very front of Dumbledore, the highest authority in school. Maybe I asked because I didn't want to seem rude. This was the first time I sat in the Great Hall with someone that didn't belong to my House. Heck, none of those people were Slytherins.

"Now that we are all together," Dumbledore said when the moment appeared to be right for him to speak. "Merry Christmas!"

"Faraday, grab a cracker." Headmaster Dumbledore said, holding out the noisemaker for me to take. Once I did, he left me to it, turning away. On his other side he offered one to Professor McGonagall, who held it, but insisted on Dumbledore pulling the end of it.

Smiles broke out around the table, as we jumped with the bang of the cracker. Pretty lights went off forming the outline of a Christmas tree.

I tried to do mine, before I was told to, but I couldn't quite do it. I turned to the Gryffindor next to me, and offered him the end of it since I wasn't strong enough to do it. Pettigrew watched me strangely, and hesitating long enough to seem rude, he went and pulled it. I looked at the flashing colors of the fire shinning over me as they took the shape of a pointy witch hat.

"That's nice." I said to him with a smile, that he returned uncertain.

Everything about him washed over me as uncertain, and I remembered the time he was introduced to me. His friend and fellow Gryffindor Remus Lupin had been the one to do it, as Pettigrew cowered behind him. I understood why he did it back them, but now, when there were no big Slytherins glaring his way, there wasn't a point.

There were more bangs around the table as more crackers went off before Dumbledore called for the meal.

"Do you mind?" I said to the boy, reaching out pass him to grab roasted chestnuts.

He moved aside to give me space. When I got what I wanted, he adjusted himself again, and I noticed that the sleeve of the arm closest to me had a strange mark that was dripping green droplets unto the leg of his trousers.

"You have a stain. There." I said pointing with my fork after I got his attention.

He fumbled over himself once he saw the mess.

The movement made it splash a droplet onto my skirt.

"Sorry." He muttered.

"It's alright." I said handing him a napkin to clean himself and using one myself for my clothes. Once I did my best with the stain, I took a good look at it and eventually smelled it. "It's this Flobberworm Mucus?"

Pettigrew's stare widen turning to me and giving me a glare that made me feel like he couldn't see me. I in turn, could see him well and he appeared to be distressed. His watery eyes flashed unto Dumbledore, who was engrossed into a conversation with McGonagall and the Hufflepuff boy at the other side of the table and was therefore ignoring us for the moment or I preferred to think that.

"Were you practicing for Potions?" I said with a laugh, remembering that Flobberworm Mucus was an ingredient for a potion Slughorn had assign us to research during the break. We were supposed to write a roll of parchment essay about it and predict how our product would turn out should we make it ourselves. I was having a row with it. Potions was not my best subject, and no matter how much I turned it over, I couldn't get the essay done. Though I understood what we had to do, and I seriously didn't want to cheat, I couldn't get pass putting the potion together. Then again, I'm over reacting. The work was all strictly hypothetical; we weren't supposed to try making the concoction for real. That made me wonder why he was doing it. Was he doing it for the assignment or was it some plot? I remembered very well the infamous group of troublemakers he was part of and I wouldn't put it pass him to be planning something. Not after their last prank. And certainly not after all the times I had to wash my hair to get the stink off.

He gave me a nod, and then proceeded to concentrate on his meal. I took it as the sign to leave him alone, so I continued eating silently, as the other voices on the table spoke merrily. When spoken to I answered, when I thought it needed I smiled, and if a joke was said I tried my best to enjoy it.

"I'm considering leaving the tables as they are for the rest of the break. There are so few of us, it seems foolish to have one or two of you sit on such large tables." Dumbledore announced once we were all sufficiently stuffed. There were several agreements around the table at his words, but that didn't seem to be enough for him. He _had_ to turn to me for some reason. "What do you think Faraday?"

His use of my name made me feel as if I was under a spotlight, and I kind of curse under my breath the staff members and the coward student that left the seat opened for me. I could do with less of the Headmaster's attention.

"Seems good." I croaked out.

His eyes twinkled in that way that only he could do, while I resisted the urge to grimace. I did not enjoy when he scrutinized me with a pleasant expression. It felt like he was laying out my innermost thoughts in a single line and categorizing them by size and color. If I couldn't do that, then I would not let him continue.

I stood, and to my luck it was less rude the abruptness of it because the other students were doing the same. Maybe I missed the part when we were stent to bed when I was trying not to insult the old wizard.

Pettigrew went pass me, as I walked away from the table. His shoulders were slouched as he went, and the stain on his sleeve went well with his disgruntled look. He was going to pass through the Great Hall's doors when I decided to catch up to him. I don't know what came over me, but I'm sure Lily would attribute it to my obsession with school work. "Hey Pettigrew, sorry to bother you, but did you do your Potions assignment?"

He stopped as soon as he heard his name, turning to look at me again as if he didn't see me. He fumbled with his hands; eyes darting to the staircase I guessed would take him to the Gryffindor tower. "Not yet."

"Could I possibly bother you by asking you to write it with me? Potions confuse me, a little." That was beyond true. I couldn't get Potions under my belt and the lack of Professor Slughorn to help me during office hours affected me greatly. Lily also helped immensely when it came to concentration on brewing, even when she still refused to be my partner during class. If I got stuck on that I wouldn't be able to move on, and if I didn't move on I would be at a disadvantage when the term began. And that didn't sit well with me.

"I'm not that good either." His expression was enough for me to believe him, and it was disappointing. For the life of me, I couldn't remember him during class. Slytherins took Potions with the Gryffindors, but since I sat on the second row with Gemma, I tried to not get distracted by looking around. Normally, I just saw Severus with his partner in front, and Lily on the first table at the other side.

I took his word as a refusal and I didn't hide away the dissatisfaction.

Honest to Merlin, I didn't know what I was thinking, asking him for help. If my housemates saw me talking to a Gryffindor boy, one of the Marauders no less, they would give me more hell than when I became friends with Lily. That was probably why he seemed so uncertain as to how to treat me. I was a Slytherin, a member of the rival house. But I didn't care for the moment. My school work was more important. And I needed help, even if it was from someone who was worse than me in the subject. I did not have the interest of going to anyone else for help with the assignment. Sure, I was desperate, however not desperate enough to go to people I hadn't met before. Pettigrew was only an acquaintance, yes, but I didn't have to go through introductions with him.

Grandfather's beard! I do like to confuse myself.

Pettigrew didn't move away, as I would have expected. He swung from foot to foot, looking at me, and looking away from me. Uncertain, and in a squeaky voice, he spoke while shrugging. "But we could go check the text book and try to figure it out."

I tried not to beam at him, I really did, but I couldn't help it. Somehow, I felt relieved.

I went after him.


	17. Chapter 17: The rat

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction created sorely to satisfy my imagination. Harry Potter and anything/everything related to the novels belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing in this fanfic that might be recognizable as belonging to the canon of HP.

 **AN:** To the lovely people that have commented and followed the story: Thank You, you guys rock! Okay, I hope all you dear readers are enjoying the story so far. Things are moving faster for now. This is how my head worked things out, and if it's not like this then this story won't get written so regularly. I've been posting every Wednesday thus far. I'm gonna try posting on Saturdays too. Fingers crossed. I wanted to say that, now no more.

Thanks again, enjoy, and leave me a comment ^-^

* * *

 **Chapter 17:** The rat

I felt comfortable with Peter. I don't know why or how, but it didn't take more than two days for me to count with his presence in my life.

Maybe it was the lack of Lily Evans, or the fact that so far during the Christmas break I had spent my days utterly alone. Somehow, 'let's do our Potions homework together!' turned into 'I'll meet you for breakfast in the Great Hall and we can then spend the rest of the day playing Exploding Snaps in an empty study room'. Yeah, I don't understand it either.

Peter Pettigrew wasn't a big deal, and I guess that was probably why we hit off so well. During the time it took for us to make sense of our Potions' assignment, he was tense. His face was contorted into a wary frown that both made him look frighten and washed out. He would sweat profusely under his coat whenever I pointed out that we had done something wrong in our work, and no matter how many times I told him that he should shed the coat off he just said the problem was because of the strong fireplace. Needless to say, I didn't comprehend that logic.

There was a strange thing in him, something I couldn't just see, that made me stay by his side the moment I regretted inviting him to work together, and I did regret it as soon as we sat down. But I could feel it; deep inside, that I was comfortable with him in a way that I hadn't been with anyone else so fast. Lily was a different case simply because our friendship had been coordinated by the gods of destiny; she and I were meant to be friends no matter what, so I couldn't compare it with what happened with Peter.

So that feeling of comfort made me stay, and kept me as patient as I am able to be, and by the time we were finished with the assignment, Peter had eased his tense shoulders.

The next couple of days, I found myself stepping into a routine with Peter. I would wake up earlier than one is supposed to on free days, I would read a book or two about some subject I was lacking in, and when it was a reasonable hour, I would meet up with a groggy Peter for breakfast. Dumbledore had kept the one table, so we sat together for every meal, but that wasn't a hassle, considering we ate with all that had stayed in the castle. It wasn't as lively as one would think, and most of the conversations were led and tossed around by the teachers. Afterwards, sometimes we would go on a walk around the castle if it wasn't snowing or too unbearable under layers of warm fabric, and then maybe go to the library. A couple of days we just sat in a study room. We worked together, at my begging, on subjects that we were poor at, and tried to get better. But Peter wasn't into that like Lily was, nor would he humor me as also Lily did. After dinner we played games until our eyes hurt, and then we separated to go sleep in our houses. It was a boring routine, but I found myself enjoying it.

It was strange to me, to spend so much time not doing anything productive that would help further my academic status. Sure, I still could barely sleep, and I used that time to read, study, take notes and revise, but once Peter and I were done with the assigned homework, he refused to do anything else. He wasn't interested in bettering himself prior having to study for class, and that was something I wasn't used to or something I didn't expect would sit well with me. And it didn't. I didn't like it, but as January rolled by I stopped expecting getting work done around Peter.

The most I could get away with was revising the notes I had taken before sleeping, but other than that I couldn't. And it wasn't like Peter demanded my attention at every second. He didn't. We could do anything on our own while we sat together. I just don't know why I was alright with sitting there doing nothing half the time. The other half of the time we spent talking.

Peter wasn't the most eloquent of talkers; he tended to shy away whenever he reached a certain quota of words. It was hard listening to his stories when at one point he would just lower and lower his voice to the extent that I had to tell him to speak up. And most of what he had to tell had to do with his friends. I enjoyed how proud he was to be part of the Marauders, but I was more curious about his life outside of Hogwarts. Yes, I didn't know what fun it was to have energetic friends up to all sorts of trouble in school, but I didn't know what it was like to have a family either, and that held more interest for me. Lily had to endure all the questions I had for her once I learned of her mother and sister, and she had been gracious enough to answer all of them.

The one time Peter talked about his mother after saying he lived with just her, was when he was telling me why he stayed for Christmas in school alone.

"My mum was insisting last minute on staying with her sister, and I can't stand my cousins. I thought my friends would invite me over to their house, but it was too late to sort things with Mrs. Potter. So I'm stuck here."

The rest of his stories began with either James Potter, Sirius Black or Remus Lupin.

* * *

The night before the full moon I was woken up. I found it strange simply because I knew for a fact that I was alone in my House and there was still a couple days left before the term began. As I fought against the exhaustion that wanted to stretch over me for a couple more hours, I was on edge. There was a heavy hand on my shoulder, one that shouldn't be there in my dorm waking me up

"You too, Mr. Pettigrew."

Those words were enough to bolt me right up. I thought I was sleeping in my dorm room, but no. I was sitting; a table stretched in front of me, and on the other side was Peter. He had his face flat against the wooden surface, and his body was shaking as Professor McGonagall insisted on waking him.

"It is way pass curfew and I would like it very much if my pleasant night would not be tarnished. Only this time I will let you off with a warning. Even you, Mr. Pettigrew. Up, up the two of you to bed."

Peter took a few more shakes to fully be conscious, and when he realized what was happening he was a bit mortified as he wiped drool from his chin. McGonagall offered to walk me to my dorm as I gathered my things to which I declined. I knew I was the furthest from my house, but the last thing I needed in my life was for a teacher to escort me. It wasn't anything bad; however I could still feel the stares I got when Madam Pomfrey walked me around after coming back from the hospital. That was something I didn't want to experience again. I said goodnight to Peter, not too enthusiastically as I normally did, and walked away.

Hoping that Filch and his cat were prowling some other side of the school, I walked to Slytherin House. I was cranky as I went, dragging my feet and trying to ignore the particular freezing air that invaded the hallways during the night. The paintings were already curled up to sleep, and at one point I had to pull out my wand to light the way.

On the way, I bumped into Peeves, who would greet me on such a fine night by yelling.

"Fara-fara, far-a-way, far away I found you." He sang using the snide nickname Hestia used for me too. I always wondered if he came up with the nickname or if it was Hestia. Either way, I ignored him, even as he followed me a couple steps.

Just as I was nearing the stairs to the dungeons, Peter appeared from nowhere out of breath. One moment I was alone, and the other he screeched to a halt next to me. He gave me a fright, and I stood there for five solid seconds trying to understand what had happened. He gathered himself, and in the while light of the tip of my wand, his cheeks looked flushed. "Peter! What are you doing here?"

"I gave McGonagall the slip." He said, and I was about to ask why when he spoke again. Whatever had happened to him on his way to his dorm made him look lively, and at that second I didn't like it much. "Hey! You want to go somewhere exciting with me?"

"I'm cold enough as it is." My intention was to keep walking like nothing happened, but Peter stepped in the way.

He shook his head. "Not icing, _exciting_. It's outside Hogwarts."

I wasn't feeling his elation. Honestly, I was still annoyed at being woken up in the study room and having to walk back to my empty dorm. "What's more exciting than my warm bed in a school that teaches magic?"

There was no saying 'no' to him, if I even ever had the chance.

Peter took a hold of my arm and dragged me away. At one point he asked me to turn off my lumos spell, claiming that he knew the way well in the dark. It was after hours and I didn't fancy detention so I did as he wanted. A smart person wouldn't had let herself be pull off to the unknown so close to midnight, but my friendship with Peter was young, and I had the thought that if I didn't humor him it would alienate him from me. I won't say that I seriously expected to be good friends with him for the long run, not like I expected to be of Lily. But I was curious as to how far it would go.

In my mind, I expected it to end as soon as his Marauder friends got back.

The boy kept pulling me, my robes blowing in the wind as we made it out of the school. The grounds stretched out covered in a thick blanket of snow that not even in the broad daylight should be braved. Peter followed a path that had been plowed by Hagrid as it was the route he took back and forth to his hut. Before going down there, Peter stopped and pushed through the snow to the side. I followed him five steps in until I looked up and saw what the almost full moon lighted up. Aside from the strange sensation the naked moon ran through my spine, all I could look at was a shadow that loomed, curiously unmoving to every leaf even in the winds of winter. It didn't take much to guess that Peter was pulling me to the strange tree in the school grounds, the Whomping Willow. It was directly in front of us and that gave me some trepidation. I pulled out of his grip, planting my feet on the ground like I should have done when he invited me out. Peter stopped to look back at me, surprised that I had forced my arm away.

"That's it. You better tell me where we're going." It seemed too late to insist on that now, yet I had to.

He smiled; a thin line obscured by the shadows the moonlight and the night formed in his face. "It's a surprise; you'll like it I promise." He went to grab my arm again, but I moved it aside before he could.

This situation reminded me of something I couldn't quite remember completely. I looked up, to the moon. It was like the caress of a feather, its rays beamed down to me with the promise of the following night. The thought of the lack of rationality I would suffer in the full moon was enough to keep me rational at that movement. "No, Peter. This is far enough. Where are you taking me?"

My feet were planted on the ground, and the boy's eyes went down to them more than once. He seemed defeated, making me feel like I was betraying some trust that I had agreed to be part off. It wasn't a pleasant feeling, but I had to put my foot down, less he think he could do whatever he pleased with me. I had enough people trying to do that with me, I would not add Peter Pettigrew onto the list. I saw how he shivered in the cold, feeling now that the adrenalin had left his system. "There's this tunnel under the Whomping Willow that leads to the Shrieking Shack. My friends and I go there all the time."

The mention of his friends didn't get pass me. "What's the Shrieking Shack?"

"It's this run down house outside of Hogsmeade."

An image flashed inside my head as I shivered with the cold. For a moment I thought it was the image of an old dream, one that I had forgotten as soon as I had woken up. That wasn't the case. I knew from where it was from, and it made me take a step back. It was hazy, the image and the thoughts that swirled inside my head, but they kept at it at a pace that almost made me want to cradle my head. My body shook and this time it was not because of the cold.

The realization dawned on me heavy, abysmally shocking and as fast as a lightning bolt. "Which one are you?"

"What?"

"Which animagus are you?" I demanded, my voice stronger than it should have been. But Merlin's beard, I was angry. I was livid! The nerve of him, to play with me so uncaringly! Since Christmas, I had been under the assumption that I was making a friend, that we were enjoying each other in our time of solute, yet that wasn't the case. The memories of my adventures during the full moon, the ones I tried to ignore on a daily basis were clear as day. I might be high as a dirigible during the one night of the month, but there was no forgetting the pack and what they were. Wait, how could I forget what they were when it had sent me to the St. Mungos?

My cheeks burned up the more I thought things over.

The pack. He was one of them, an animagus for I knew he couldn't be the werewolf. Studies aside, somehow I knew that with the time I had spent with Peter, I would have been able to tell already. Bloody hell, how could I not see it before? The pack were Peter and his little friend group.

The Marauders, there were four of them, and four in the pack. They were an assortment of strange creatures with a mystery as to why they were together. An odd combination of extroverts and introverts that worked together as a team with the fluidity of being one solid person. And both in human and animal form, they were inseparable. On the three times we had been together, one thing was clear; the pack and I could do anything. I had felt it then. They could do anything, for they were in their Kingdom, _their_ playground. And the way Peter had dragged me out from school gave sign that he could do as he wanted, that somehow he knew every nook and cranny and was therefore able to do as he pleased. Only them the infamous troublemakers, could get away with what the pack was doing. I had wondered myself, I remember, during a fleeting second just what they were doing there. I always tried to ignore it. What, why and who questions had run amuck in my head numerous times, and I ignored them.

With Peter; standing both of us in the freezing cold, after curfew and in the middle of the school grounds, I chastised myself for not giving it more detailed thought. His eyes were wide to a point where I thought they would just roll out of his sockets. For a moment, I thought that I shouldn't be as angry as I felt with him, that this wasn't his fault, but damn it he had been hiding the truth for days.

"T-th-the r-rat." His voice was the smallest I had ever heard it, and if he could, he would disappear into his coat with how much he was slouching over with mortification. That didn't make me feel bad. Maybe it should have, but as he stuttered over his words, my irritation remained. "But, h-how do you know I'm an animagus?"

That seemed strange to me.

Suddenly, my face could feel the cold again as his words stunned me. Half of me wanted to call him out on his bullshit, but the other half could see the truth in his eyes. Though I had been preoccupied with the fact that I felt betrayed and that I was trying to recollect all the memories I had on the rat, I knew his surprise to be genuine. And I couldn't quite understand why. "You don't recognize me?"

He stared up at me confused, squinting his watery and puffy eyes like he always did. Taking a good look to me, as if he was seeing me for the first time, he shook his head. "Should I?"

I thought he was joking, leading me on into his little lying game to not come out as the loser. How could he not recognize a woman braved werewolf and walked away from it alive? "We've been meeting in the forest for the last three full moons. You have ridden on my shoulder for hours."

"N-no, I—" I saw the moment in his blue eyes when he realized who I was, and I in turn realized that he was not lying to me. "You can't be _her_!"

We stared at each other with a new light.


	18. Chapter 18: End of Christmas

Disclaimer: You know it.

AN: I failed to post this chapter on Saturday. In my defense I'll say it was very hard to write and I needed the whole week to get it done. I'll try for this Weekend, though next chapter will be equally hard to get done. I don't know. At some point I'll post twice of week.

As always thanks for the favorites, follows and reviews. You guys are awesome!

* * *

 **Chapter 18** : End of Christmas

I shouldn't have gotten angry so fast, but in my defense I thought Peter did know I was the girl walking with the pack and was therefore keeping the truth from me for some strange, obscure reason.

That wasn't the case, and I felt bad for it.

The shock of the moment of truth changed Peter plans of going into the Shrieking Shack. I did not mind whatsoever when he stood there in the snow, confused and appearing to be perturbed. Though I myself felt in a way the same, I moved. I grabbed his arm, like he had done so previously, and pulled him back to the castle. He didn't pull away. He let me guide him into the protection of the school's arches, and in an empty hallway we sat down against a wall. It was dark, almost completely silent if it weren't for the howls of the wind. Sitting practically in the open, we were obviously not hiding so if Filch or a teacher passed by we would be in loads of trouble. But that didn't faze us, or at least that didn't faze me.

This was something I hadn't thought of; to be in that situation. Sure, at one point I was curious about the identities of the animagus that took me in as one of their own during the monthly run; however that had changed when I landed in St. Mungo's. My stay in the hospital had made me realize one thing, and it was that I didn't really need to know who the animagi were, not when it came with such consequence to me. Yes, it wasn't the pack's fault that I had suffered such a violent and traumatic experience while researching, but it was enough for me to keep doing what I did best: stay where I was and ignore the shit about everything. It worked so far, to be ignorant to things that would probably end up affecting me.

But I couldn't be ignorant now.

I wanted Peter to begin talking, but if I waited for him then I would be waiting for hours. I had no intention to reveal my secrets to him. Though I guess I trusted Peter in a sense, I didn't want to tell him the reason why I stepped out with the pack in the full moon, nor of whom I was descendant of. To my luck, Peter wasn't as curious as I would imagine a person would be with the oddity we had lived up until that moment. Therefore, I got away with keeping the truth. I told him it was because of my blood and that I had no control over it. He seemed to accept that.

When it was time for him to start on his side of the story, he spoke little, and I imagine it was because he was still shocked. He claimed that it was something he wasn't allowed to speak of; a secret weaved into the very core of his friendship with the other Marauders. Honestly, I didn't care why or how they were animagi. That wasn't what interested me. I wanted to know why Peter didn't know I was the girl he ran with.

First, he said it was because of how I looked, but when I asked him to elaborate, he said that I just looked different. When I demanded an explanation he claimed he couldn't see me right. Needless to say I was both confused and exasperated with him. He went on and on about rat perception and the fact that I looked more womanly during the full moon. His answer did not please me, and when I couldn't get more out of him, I just told him to forget it. He noticed my anger again, and appeased me by saying that he would feel better if his friends were there with him. If it was for better explanatory skills or strength I didn't know. So I merely announced I was too tired to continue on, and we parted to our respective houses.

* * *

The next day passed with no real meaningful occurrence.

I had the idea to test my young friendship with Peter. I decided to ignore what happened the previous night, and act like nothing happened. Really I don't know what I was expecting, if I was waiting for something.

I met up with Peter like I had done since the day after Christmas. There was something obviously worrying him, and I knew it was the matter we didn't discuss, but he didn't say anything. So I didn't either. We went about our day, ate our meals in the Great Hall with the rest of the school, and did our own thing until the moon began to rise in the sky.

When it was time to lose control because of the full moon, I did like always. I got up from my bed and left my House. There was a heavy snow fall, and in my delirium I made the right choice of staying in the school. Not that I felt the cold, but I didn't think I could tread the grounds and then the forest with the nightgown. Gliding around the school, I eventually crossed paths with the rat, which joined me for the rest of the night.

* * *

"Peter, I have a question." We were sitting in an empty classroom. Our day had started late, because Peter slept in. I got two or three hours of sleep, but still I managed to take some Defense notes and be early for breakfast. I was just that kind of crazy. Anyway, we met up eventually, and we settled in the classroom eating some cauldron cakes Peter brought. "Are we still going to be friends even when your mates get here?"

"Of course we will!" He fought with the cake he had stuffed into his mouth before I asked. "And the guys will want to meet you once I tell them. They've been dying to meet you!"

The thought of the other Marauders and the memories I had of them didn't excite me. I was curious about them, but I guess I just wasn't prepared. "Alright, but could you not tell them about me straight away?"

Peter cocked his head. "James and Sirius will kill me if I don't."

That affirmation didn't make me feel better. Actually, I wasn't too sure of exactly what it made me feel. I tried not to show the truth that if I could get away with not having to meet them, I would go for it. "I'm looking forward to meeting them, and Lupin."

We agreed it was time for lunch. Even when neither of us was hungry, we had to show face in the Great Hall, less the staff -and by staff I mean McGonagall- think that we are up to no good. All the way there, Peter was different. His smile of the morning had died after we finished talking, and as we walked he seemed to be deep in thought.

Just as we neared the double doors of the Great Hall, Peter spoke up, making me notice that he had stopped walking a few steps back.

"Faraday. Can I tell you something?" His shoulders were bent, and I couldn't see into his eyes. His head was cast down to his shoes. For a moment I thought I saw him shaking in the spot. I nodded, not that he could see it, backtracking to be in front of him. Peter was the same height as me, but when he arched his shoulders so negatively, he looked a head shorter.

Before I could even react, it happened so fast I don't even know if I could prevent it, Peter landed a soft kiss on my lips. One moment his face was down, and the other it was to level with mine, no space between them.

"I like you."

Oh grandpa Merlin's beard.

The image of hair as gold as sunlight and pure green eyes flashed behind my eyes, and if it wasn't the middle of winter I would have started sweating.

' _I find myself liking you more and more with each passing hour.'_

I didn't know what to do with myself as my memory recited those words over and over again. Taking a step back, I forced a deep breath into my insides. The image, with its accompanying words, continued to flash in my head and I tried very hard to will it away. This was an entirely different situation, and there was no need of me to be thinking of the past. A normal person would be trying to understand what the heck had just happened, but not me. No. After I tucked the image away into the darkest corner of my mind, all I wanted to do was walk away. I don't know where this came from. I had no clue as to why Peter had gotten the idea to kiss me. But my first instinct was to turn around to walk the hell away.

"Oh." I said lamely. It was the only thing I could let out of my mouth as I fought the need to bolt away from him.

At my answer his smile died, and I would be lying if I said that I didn't make me feel a bit alleviated. "Do you like me b-back?"

All I could do was stare as I tried to think of any indication I had given him without noticing about liking him. I did not fancy him. I knew that for a fact, and maybe I should have been a tad nicer when saying it, but I didn't want him to get any strange ideas. I didn't fancy him. "Eh, no. No."

"You don't?"

I shook my head.

"Y-you don't—" Peter's face had lost all color. His already squeaky voice rose ever higher. And I couldn't stop my eyes from widening when I noticed he actually was shaking. "We've been spending so much time together, I thought—"

"It's been two weeks. Just two, really."

For a moment I thought he was going to cry. I saw how his watery eyes darted from one point to the next in record speeds, as his face began to gain color. But then I remembered that was how he always looked.

"I thought we had something special."

"Our friendship _is_ special." He didn't seem to hear that when I said it.

"I-I was going to wait for the guys to get back. They always have the best advice, but, but I knew they wouldn't let me have you. Sirius a-and James have a bet on which would find you first, and, and…" He trailed off, desperately nervous to keep talking. "I thought if I were to get you before they did—"

"Stop." I said unable to keep hearing his ramblings. I'll admit that it got me angry. All I wanted was to be done with the situation. The one thing that I thought would give me peace of mind was getting to Slytherin House. But as much as I wanted to be a coward and ignore the hell of what was happening, I couldn't get pass Peter's mentioning of his friends. "Let me see if I understand this correctly. You want me to be your girl to win that bet and impress them, not because you actually have feelings for me?"

"No! That's not what I said."

"That _is_ what you said!"

"No, it's not."

"It is!"

"I do like you!"

That got suspended in the middle of the thick atmosphere.

I felt sorry for him. I didn't like admitting it to myself, but I found him pitiful. "I can't return your feelings, Peter. Not like that."

At one point, I believe he understood and accepted my answer as the truth. However, then he looked away from me, and his stare bounced off every wall. There was no one there. We had been walking to the Great Hall for our meal fully aware that we were late for it. As he stared everywhere, I could only look at Peter. I saw how he became empty and then tried to fill himself up again.

"Is there something wrong w-with me?" Peter's tone squeaked as he stuttered. He took a step toward me which in turn made me take another step back. There was hurt in his eyes, as he narrowed them to concentrate on me. "I can fix it. Tell me what to do."

I sighed, shaking my head. "Stop it. You shouldn't change yourself for someone else's sake."

"Maybe if I was more like James or Sirius." He had meant to say it in a whisper, but it was loud enough for me to hear him.

"Again you go off with that? You don't have to compare yourself to them." I was hard for me to keep my eyes from rolling, so I did it anyway. One thing was claiming to change for my favor; another was to compare himself to his friends. I hated that. I had yet to say anything to him, but it annoyed me to no end how he would bring himself down by putting them up on a pedestal.

Peter raised his voice, making me almost take one more step back. "But they're better than me! You wouldn't say no to James."

"You don't know that."

"They're interested in you, you know." He said it as if he was telling me a great conspiracy; one that would shook the very core of my being. Obviously it didn't. "James and Sirius. They've been looking for you."

"And why should that be a surprise to me?"

"It's not j-just curiosity." Again with the conspiracy tone, this time he didn't dare look me straight in the eye. "They're always going on and on about your knockers…"

I was taken aback, looking down at myself. There was a thought in my head that I should be furious of being objectified by teenage animals, but of course those boys liked gawking at my breast, they are spectacular. Not when I wore my school robes though, rather when I had the white nightgown. I don't know how that thing landed in my trunk when I arrived in school, but I use to get glares from my dorm mates on the first days of class. Poor boys didn't know what hit them that first night we walked into each other in the Forbidden Forest. But that didn't matter in the conversation.

"And you did not?"

He looked up at me, his eyes opened to their limit and their insides reflecting the fear he felt inside. He was easy to read, and though I didn't know much of what teenage boys were like, I did know that Peter liked to mimic his friends. By mimic his friends I mean do everything Potter and Black did. And if those two talked gross about me in close quarters, then I'm sure Peter joined them in.

That was the end of the line for me, conversation wise.

"Look, I don't care about your friends. I don't care about the topics you discuss in your little tower. And I want to make things very clear," I was fed up. All this conversation had done to me was take me up and down different emotions, and I was spent. Hell, I was starting to stop caring. "I don't have feeling for you. Not beyond friendship. It's not because you are lacking in anything, Peter. I just can't. Don't ask me to try; it's not going to happen. I'm sorry, I guess."

* * *

The lack of Lily had finally gotten to me, and with Peter out of the question, I was desperate for someone to talk to. Truly desperate. "I think I lost a friend."

Sitting in his portrait, Merlin passed a hand through his beard in the place where I would imagine his chin was. "The Gryffindor Prefect or the boy?"

"Blimey, not Lily! I rather go through social death again than lose Lily." I shuddered at the thought, bringing my knees closer to my chest. I was sitting in front of the Slytherin common room door, talking to the portrait in what I would refer to as my normal spot. Finally, it was the day before the start of the term, and all the students were going to get back from the Christmas break. In a matter of minutes, the school would begin to fill out again. "Peter is the one I lost."

"What happened?"

I told him most of what had taken place. It was hard spilling out the words that had passed between Peter and me, especially to a figure I saw as my grandfather, but I managed it. After I had talked to the Gryffindor boy, I had marched back to my house. I was thankful that there was no one around so I was able to let my face take whatever frown it wanted to show. Merlin was the only one that saw it and it was enough to make him understand that I didn't want to be disturbed. Without questioning or the password, the portrait swung opened to let me pass. For that reason, in the morning, after skipping breakfast and giving up on last minute studying, I went to talk to my ancestral grandfather. I tried to speak with all the truth possible, but of course I left out everything that had to do with animagi and my monthly nighttime strolls. Everything else wasn't too embarrassing for his parental ear.

Merlin accepted my words, and didn't demand anymore to take my side. "A love confession is not an obligation. You did right to stop leading him on."

Somehow, I did not imagine that was the answer he was going to give me. I expected a reply more dated, considering when Merlin was painted. But no, that was pretty nice to hear. It was the kind of answer I would expect from Lily and would never imagine coming out of Merlin. I guess I was wrong. I guess all the late conversations during the break paid off. "But I hurt his feelings."

"If he really is your friend, he will accept the situation. Should he do the opposite, then you are better off." He said, again surprising me by taking my side, giving his support and making me feel better. If only he did that when discussing my full moon situation.

It was a strange moment, to have a conversation like that with a figure I saw as my grandfather. However, painting, memory, ghost or whatever he was from the real person that had lived centuries ago, this was the Merlin that knew me best. He knew almost all of my secrets, and though I tended not to listen to him when he talked to me as an authority figure, I did trust him more than anyone. "Were you ever in a situation like this, Merlin?"

He nodded and at that moment his eyes seemed to be in the past. As he looked away, I saw his most regretful expression, and it unsettled me. "Very similar, only that I did not handle it as well as you. And I paid dearly for it."

Between us glided in the Bloody Baron, distracting me from the questions I was preparing for my grandfather. I hadn't notice him coming, which was surprising considering that the chains he wore were a giveaway. The gaunt and silent specter covered in silver bloodstains halted looking at the portrait. He greeted Merlin and then me with a gracious bow, his chains rattling like only ghost chains could. He announced that the carriages had begun to pull into the courtyard, and that the students had arrived. After that, Merlin opened the door as a sign of respect, and the Baron glided in.

Excusing myself to my ancestral grandfather, not being able to contain my excitement, I ran off to find Lily.

* * *

The Great Hall was overflowing with sound and laughter, as all the students of Hogwarts were settled for the Welcoming Feast.

I sat with my fellow Slytherins, secretly glad that they were there to fill the table. Only first-year Graham and his group of friends said hello to me, and when I sat with them for the feast they welcomed me with a smile. I was listening to their Christmas stories when I felt a stare on me.

I looked at the Gryffindor table on the other side of the Hall, my eyes landing on Lily like she was a magnet. Her face glowed beautifully, the time back home had done her wonders. Mary Macdonald and Dorcas Fisher were chatting away with her, but she met my eyes and she smiled at me. Hers was the stare I had felt, and of course it made me smile back at her. I met up with her just as she was getting off the horseless-carriage with her friends. We engulfed ourselves in an elated hug, and I ended up walking the Gryffindor girls to their tower because I couldn't will myself to separate myself so quickly from Lily. I only left when I remembered there was a Gryffindor boy that I was evading for the time being.

Lily winked before going back to listening intently to her friends.

I let my eyes wonder down the table, conscious of what I was doing and sure enough this time I found Peter. I wasn't sure if he would notice me. He sat with his friends, most of which had their backs toward me. When he looked my way, I gave a small wave, almost smiling. I missed Peter. We hadn't talked for barely a day, but it already felt like a lot, kind of like our two week friendship felt like years. I was alright with getting past his confession and going back to our normal gimmicks. However it all depended on him. I was planning on giving him space. If he wanted to stay stuck in his confession then I would accept that and break ties with him. If not, then I would be happy. Peter took a moment to answer me back, his eyes squinting in that way that made me question if he could see me right. A second later he waved back.

That relieved me. We would be okay, and we would continue being friends.

At that moment, having noticed what Peter had done, his friends who sat in front of him turned around. I looked away instantly the second I realized their eyes centered immediately on me.

They knew.

* * *

AN: The explanation of why the boys didn't recognize Faraday before will be in the next chapter.


	19. Chapter 19: Meeting the Marauders

**AN:** Well, this chapter is late. I'm really sorry for not posting on Wednesday. This chapter was very tricky for me to get done. To make up for the delay I'm gonna say that this is the longest chapter so far.

* * *

 **Chapter 19:** Meeting the Marauders

The term began and I was excited about classes.

There was nothing more that I wanted than to jump right into them. I was looking forward to the subjects to study, even more considering that I wasn't as far behind the current curriculum as I was the last term. Somehow, I was catching up, and I lived for the day when I could do an assignment without having to backtrack to second year of Hogwarts just to understand the book I needed to research.

I was getting there in academic sense, and nothing made me happier, except for maybe having Lily back. Lily wasted no time in telling me all about her trip home. Her Christmas seemed to have been delightful with her mother and sister, making me a bit jealous of having to stay at school and the fact that I don't have a family. Anyway, she demanded me to tell her of every second of my free alone time in Hogwarts. I don't know what surprised her more, that I made friends with Peter Pettigrew or that I didn't study as much as she expected. Either way she interrogated me in every aspect. By the end of it, she knew all there was to know except for the part about my connection to the Marauders. That, as always, I kept to myself.

Lily was not too happy about my new friendship. She was glad that I was speaking to another person, but she didn't trust Peter. I knew that the lack of trust wasn't directly to Peter mostly; it had more to do with his association to a certain Quidditch Captain.

Of Peter, I heard very little. I did see him every day, and when we were at a reasonable distance we waved or smiled at each other, but nothing else. Though ecstatic about my classes and all the time consuming studying it implied, I did miss the free time I would spent doing nothing with Peter.

In Potions, I sat delighted to have Professor Slughorn back. I missed his classes, his boisterous attitude, and his office hours. Three days had gone by only and I had already visited him twice. Gracious to me as ever, he cleared up some inquiries I had gathered during the break and confused me in some others.

Gemma flipped through the textbook as she sat next to me. She and the rest of my dorm mates had said fifteen words in total to me in the course of three days. Mafalda was the only polite one to ask how my Christmas was. After answering her, I tried to do the same with the other girls, less I be the rude one and not them. Between 'good' and 'well' my imagination was spent, and I went back to our normal treatment.

Slughorn droned on about the right use of the potion we were supposed to be learning. Though I wasn't listening as intently as I should had been, I was taking notes. I scrapped the parchment quickly with my quill, writing down everything the Professor said. Other than his voice, and the occasional bubbling on a nearby cauldron, all you could hear was the movement of quills. Then out of nowhere, a bird perched on the feather of my quill and I had to do a double take to actually realize what it was. I grabbed at it before Gemma noticed it there. It did as if to peck my fingers away, but the fact that it was made of paper rendered that harmless.

When I had it completely on my hold, the spell over the parchment undid itself, and the paper charmed to take the bird form, straightened itself out. Looking at it, there were scrawny letters hastily written on it with a hand I recognized.

 _I need to talk to you. Meet me at the empty class room on the fourth four after curfew._

 _The guys will be there too._

Bugger.

I wanted to look back at Peter, I really did. I wanted desperately to tell him that I did not want to meet him or his friends at any given moment, so soon to the beginning of the term. I had told him, I told Peter I wanted to wait before telling them, and he didn't listen. Half of me wanted to be angry at the rat, but the other side figured that it wasn't that bad. Whatever Peter had said, his friends had yet to confront me, and if the intense glares I had been avoiding were any indication, they were eager to confront me. Hell, I could feel their eyes burning onto my back at that very moment. I had to meet them.

I ignored everything. Hiding the bird-note within my robes, I grabbed my quill again and concentrated on the lecture. The last thing I wanted to do was give Peter an answer, though he and I knew I wouldn't agree to go, I had to. There was no more evading it, and should I keep trying, I would be forced to confront them in a more sudden way. By more sudden I mean being kidnapped in a hallway by the Marauders.

When the class was over, I gathered my things quickly, and went to join Lily as she sorted her materials into her bag. Next to her, Mary Mcdonald was saying something about meeting in the library to do the day's homework, and invited me also. I agreed contently, trying to look with the corner of my eye the students leaving. As far as I knew, Peter and his friends were among the first to leave.

Walking out of Potions, Mary announced she was off to meet her boyfriend. Lily elbowed her playfully, and the girl tried hard not to blush. Mary teased Lily back about Uric Belby.

Lily was going steady with Belby. They had even met during the Holidays to go on some romantic date. I had enjoyed the juicy details along with Mary and Dorcas Fisher when the Gryffindor Prefect had spilled them. Lily's excitement toward her relationship was pandemic, and there was nothing cuter than her blushing softly about it. She tried to hide it, she had tried to do so since the love bug bit her, but there was no use now. The whole school knew. That brought problems of their own, however Lily was relieve that so far nothing had happened. Maybe that's why she has ever more excited about the whole thing.

"I saw you." Lily said once Mary left. We were walking leisurely since we had a free period before having to separate for our next classes. I had hoped that my note reading had been conspicuous enough for no one to notice, but apparently she had seen me fighting a paper bird. "So you're talking to Pettigrew again?"

Oh, she must have seen Peter sending it for how could she have guessed? That or her intuitiveness was off the charts. "He's my friend. Am I not supposed to?"

She made a face on uncertaincy and almost shrugged. "He confessed."

"Does that mean I can't?" Somehow, I was under the impression that it was something a girl should do in such a situation. However, I hadn't talked to Peter in days, surely that was enough. Plus, the one that was hurt was him, not me, and he wanted to talk. The least I could do was be nice about the whole thing, right? "Potter confesses to you every day, and you still talk to him."

That made her outwardly uncomfortable, making her give me a deliberate stink-eye. "Yeah, but I don't consider him my friend. Or an intelligent person for that matter."

She kept on walking, ignoring my mocking smiles.

* * *

My wand lighted the way, as I made haste to the fourth floor.

The last thing I wanted was to get caught, and though it had yet to happen, I wasn't about to take any chances. So far, I hadn't received detention of any kind, and I wondered if it was pure luck or an unknown prowling skill I wasn't aware I posed. Anything was possible.

Portraits exclaimed for me to turn off my light as I went pass them to reach the empty classroom. I knew the way well. Peter and I used the room frequently during the Christmas break. As soon as I saw the door I needed to go through, I began to get seriously anxious. I think my nervousness took root form the fact that I was frustrated. I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to show my face to the Marauders. I didn't like not being able to say 'no' to meet them. And most importantly, I didn't want to assume responsibility for what I did during the full moon. That person who I became was beyond my control, and it wasn't my fault stumbling into the boys' greatest secret. It was a chance encounter, all three times were, and that shouldn't be a good enough reason to complicate my life more.

A minute went by before I decided to sod everything. That was it. Enough caring and nervousness, I was going to get this over with. Then I would return to my House, read a book and ignore the world. A bloody good plan.

They were standing and sitting huddled up at a side of the room, but at my arrival whatever conversation they had ended abruptly.

I stopped at the entrance as I was assaulted by their stares.

Petrified, my head flashed the alert of running back to my House and slacking off this inevitable situation. Standing, Potter and Black eyed me with a mixture of seriousness and a slight curiosity. They were ready for me, prepared to fight if needed. Remus Lupin on another hand was completely different. He looked fidgety, sitting on the edge of a chair. His brow glistened a bit, which was odd for the cold temperature that reign the nights. His eyes had darted to me and had stayed on me like he was some kind of cornered animal, and I hated that I fired why that was. He was afraid. He was afraid of me and that made me feel horrible.

As he sat, he was nothing like the guy I knew him he was. Though of course we weren't close, I knew him to be a well manner and pleasant looking student. He did his Prefect duties, and was cordial to everyone. He did a great thing for me last term when I almost morphed into an animagus, and didn't expect anything in return. In my eyes he had been nothing but a good lad. Now that I saw him, because believe me my eyes landed on the other two boys, but they absolutely were pulled toward Lupin. I don't know how I didn't notice it before. We had classes together; if I paid attention I would normally see him at least twice a day around Hogwarts. However, not once had I noticed he was the werewolf. I knew I could identify the creature by being close to it, yet I hadn't done it before. Maybe I wasn't paying the attention needed for it; maybe I was so absorbed in myself I didn't care to see that in him. It didn't change the fact that I felt stupid for it. And now bad, because I knew his secret without his consent.

Peter's face was the only familiar one to me that didn't cause any sort of nauseating feeling. He hurried to join me as I was unable to move my legs.

"Please don't be mad at me," The boy squealed. Like his friends, he was still in his school uniform, but unlike me they weren't wearing their outer robes. There was a fire at the farthest side of the room, and that hearth distributed the warmth pleasantly.

"That's not a good way to begin a conversation, Peter." Though meaner than I had intended, Peter's choice of words only managed to help me. They annoyed me, and that was the kind of feeling I wanted to work this conversation with. Annoyance or indifference. They often came hand in hand with me.

"I'm sorry I told them. But I couldn't help it! You know our secret." Eyes darting from me to his friends, Peter didn't look that sorry to me. I wanted to be angry that he hadn't waited to spill the beans like I asked, but there was no used for that now.

"Barely." I looked at the other three boys. Lupin remained perturbed as ever, looking at me with pleading eyes. Sirius Black had his hands in his pocket and his head was slightly tilted back as he regarded me with what I can only explain as a sober interest. The first to move was James Potter. He took a step forward. His arms were crossed, his shoulders were squared and his jaw was set. Again, I battled with the need to turn around and go to my House. He was an imposing figure, capable of frightening me if only his stance didn't remind me so much of Lily. That link between him and my friend was enough to calm me down. I was back to my previous emotion of get things over with along with the annoyance Peter caused. "Let's just sort everything already."

I walked pass Peter to stand as close to the boys as I dared. Peter joined my steps hurriedly, going right into introducing us to one another.

We stood there regarding each other.

I don't know what I expected. I supposed that between finding out that Peter was the rat of the pack and that very moment, I had imagined the situation to start in a different way. It'll sound coincided, because it is, but I expected to be bombarded with questions the minute I stepped in the room. A werewolf and unregistered animagi were indeed rare; however I think I trump them in that department. I'm not saying that I was going to spill out all my secrets, I hadn't done that to Lily yet, I sure as hell wasn't about to do it to any of the Gryffindor boys.

"Pull your hair down." Said Sirius Black. His words hanged in the space between us. His icy bored stare could unravel me, but I wasn't about to let him do that. I looked back at him, questioning his request, not feeling too bad about myself considering that his friends were giving him a similar look. He looked around, explaining himself. "That bun is tighter than McGonagall's."

"Pardon?" Was my instant reply. I looked at him as if he was a strange creature that wouldn't even fit into mythological standards. Black stare was expectant, like my negation to his request meant nothing. I glanced at Potter, expecting him to negate his friend's bizarre demand, but that wasn't the case. He wanted the same thing and appeared as entitled as Black, waiting for me to do as they said. I felt Peter grab my arm, and after pulling it away, I just went with it.

Sighing for only an idiot like me would get herself in that kind of situation, I undid the one hairdo I knew how to make. I supposed I shouldn't had been that willing to do what any of them wanted, but I was a bit curious to where things were heading. Peter had claimed that I looked singularly feminine when the full moon soared, and I supposed one of the major reasons for that was my hair. I only let down when going to sleep, so of course when I glided out under the moon, I had the cascading mess. Every other moment, it was contained within itself on the top of my head. As the Marauders watched, my dark hair celebrated at being free, framing my face and caressing me down to the middle of my back. I flicked an annoying long strand of my fringe away from my eyes, as I looked up to the boys ready for their regard.

They stared for long enough to make me self-conscious. It felt strange. They looked for things in me that I didn't pay attention to. Their eyes roamed every detail of my face; from the roundness of my cheeks to my hair line, I knew they had taken in all my features and if that wasn't what happened, then it surely felt like it.

"Agh, I can't believe you're a Slytherin." Black was the one to speak first once more and I tried not to take his words as an insult. I'm not bothered at all that he's a Gryffindor, after all.

"I think there are more important matters here that that, Sirius." I agreed with Potter for the moment and was actually surprised that he was sporting such a guarded level head. From what I knew of him, of what I witness and of what Lily had gone and gone about him being like, I thought he was a bigger prat. He seemed almost responsible, and nothing like his troublemaker history implied as he turned his hazel eyes back to me. "You're not how we were expecting you to be."

"What were you expecting?" This time I crossed my arms. It was something that had bothered me for days, no matter how hard I tried to ignore it. "How come none of you recognized me before? Because we _have_ seen each other various times all around the term. We _have_ classes together and everything."

Potter was about to answer me, when Black beat him to it. "We weren't looking for a frumpy Slytherin."

"Sirius," Potter urged as I tried to sort how to take that insult. The bespectacled teenager rumpled his hair with a practice motion with his hand, turning to his friend with a step. What Black's attitude implied, I don't know, but his friend was having nothing of it as they immersed themselves in what I would think was a eye to eye, mental rundown of a conversation they already had.

"Don't call her frumpy." Peter defended and I suddenly felt like I was out of the conversation.

"It's the truth! Look at her." He pointed at me with his hand, but he was definitely not talking to me. He gestured to what I understood as the entirety of me. "She's nothing like the bird in the white dress."

I really made a mistake meeting with them. Sure I was curious, sure I wouldn't be able to outrun it for long, but damn it I should have tried. So far, all I had been was insulted and none of my questions had been sufficiently answered. There was something going on between them, and I certainly hoped the main problem wasn't that I was a frumpy Slytherin. I guess I can't blame them too much for their lack of recognition. My normal self was very different from the woman that walked under the full moon. I had seen my reflection a couple of occasions during that state of mine, and most times I couldn't recognize myself.

I sighed, when the bickering between the Marauders began to dwindle, and when there was space for me to talk again, I did. "What do I look like when I'm running with you?"

"You don't know?" Sporting surprising the responsible and serious mantle, Potter adjusted his glasses on his nose as he shifted from one foot to another. Peter was visibly tired, as his squinted his eyes between us.

The shrug that tensed my shoulders was unavoidable. "Honestly, I am too magically plastered to care, if you hadn't noticed. And Peter didn't tell me when I asked him."

"Peter can't see right. He needs glasses." James said with an attitude toward Peter appearing to had had this conversation before. I did not like how everything they said seemed to have already been said among them. It bothered me, and I supposed it was because it made me feel unprepared.

The squinting Peter was so fond of doing suddenly made sense to me. How many times did I wonder if he could see me when he looked at me? I began to do my hair again, using it as an excuse to turn to the rat. Pulling the long hair up and around to make a bun I spoke putting the spotlight on him rather than keeping it on me. Merlin, I did not like it. Not in this situation. "Why don't you wear glasses?

"I'll look like a twat."

I scoffed, tightening my hair into a bun. This time I face Potter and Black, with a little indifference I was able to muster up. My eyes lingered for a moment on Lupin, but he couldn't answer my question even if he wanted. And he didn't look like he wanted. His eyes were planted away from us, his leg drummed against the floor, and his fingers twitched. The poor guy looked like he wanted to throw himself into the Great Lake. "Okay, so Peter couldn't recognize me, but why couldn't the rest of you?"

"It's like Sirius said, we weren't looking for…" James trailed off motioning to my entire self with his hand.

I did not enjoy this motioning to all of me, as if I was lacking in something. This time it was me with the attitude. "You were looking for 'the bird in the white dress' not 'the frumpy Slytherin'?"

They nodded.

O-ho, I still did _not_ like that. But my clear as day frown didn't make him stop.

"The school robes make you look twice your width too."

"And the way you keep yourself doesn't help." That was said by Black, who joined his friend in the continuation of insulting me.

I should be seething. I should be spitting back all sorts of insults, but I couldn't because I didn't have any. Nor was I that angry. Sure, their words didn't make me feel well emotionally, however they didn't say anything I didn't know. I knew my robes were too big for me. I knew I took no visible interest in my appearance, but that was just because there are more important matters on the line. My robes were of second-use; no matter how much favor of the Ministry I had, their help was limited. I wore no make-up and didn't put on hair solution for the simple reason that I didn't have that much money to buy them. Those facts made me feel better. It was my situation and I was content with it for all that mattered for now was graduating Hogwarts. I didn't tell them that, of course.

"My face is still the same, though."

"Yeah, but it's _not_ at the same time." James messed his already untidy hair, his face contorted, and his confusion was clear to me. "Your face under the moon is different, more natural, calm and elegant. The way you walk too. The way you move. And of course, there's the factor that we saw you through animal eyes. Our perception is not the same as now. Maybe that has something to do with it."

Well, they certainly had a chance to analyze me. Peter's comment about my bosom seemed completely plausible.

There was silence as we regarded each other again.

My legs were killing me, and the long day was finally getting to me, but I resisted the urged to look hungrily at any of the chairs loitering around. "So why are you guys animagi?"

That question tensed the room.

The three boys turned to Lupin instantly, who had not said a word. He was looking away, but upon feeling the spotlight on him, he stood. He was shaking as he landed his soft eyes on me. "They learned because of me. I'm the werewolf. I've been one since I was a child."

I could only stare as he spoke.

"The Headmaster gave me the opportunity to come study here. He had the Shrieking Shack made and the Whomping Willow planted for me to have a place and a route, respectively, to be able to carry on my curse without endangering anyone. James, Sirius and Peter discovered my secret. I thought they would abandon me, but instead made an enormous sacrifice for me. They learned to be animagi so to accompany me when I change. It was a hard process, took them a long time, but they did it for my benefit. Transforming into a werewolf is painful, you see, and all through the night I am a danger to all and myself. These scars are proof of the violence I am capable of. Of what I can do to other should I lose control, but the presence of them in animal form calms me. It helps me be more controlled. They've made my curse bearable." He said motioning to his friends. His words were pushed out slowly as if he was having trouble reciting a speech he had practiced all the while the rest of us had been there talking.

"That's amazing. All of it." I stared on, taking in the information. There was more silence as all waited for whatever else I was to say. The best way to go with a guy that had been nothing but kind and truthful to me was to do the same thing. I could tell it took a lot from Remus Lupin to admit to a stranger his darkest secret. "I could tell you were the werewolf."

Startled, his hand went up to a pink scar thin on his chin instantly, as if it was a matter that got much attention from other people. Considering his soft appearance, I imagine a lot of people were interested in his scars.

"No, it's not because of your scars. I can tell because of the same reason you didn't rip me to shreds on that October moon. We have a connection, an affinity to one another." I swore to that being the truth, though I wasn't a hundred percent sure. Sometimes I said things I didn't know to be true, but then turned out to be right. The same to things I did. I knew it would be okay to beckon to a werewolf during the full moon, and hell I lived to tell the tale. To myself that is, I hadn't told anyone. "Here, feel it."

Doing my best to slither to his side so to not frighten him, I ignored the eyes that were on us. They had their moment to shine, and now was the time for me to deal with the werewolf. He jumped when I was appropriately near him, so I offered my hand to him.

Hesitating for longer than he had done in wolf form that October night such a long time ago, he took my hand. The change was instantaneous. His fingers were soft to my touch as a tingling feeling emerged from me and met up with him. As a shot of what I can only describe as a gust of wind passed through our touch, a smile broke on my face. It was a beautiful sensation, and it much reminded me of how I felt when the full moon took over me. My eyes were sorely on the werewolf and his reaction. I hoped it made him feel the inner peace I felt. The knot that had formed between his eyebrows, straighten itself out, and the fear in Lupin's soft blue eyes evaporated. His skinny shoulders relaxed, making them look broader than earlier.

"I feel, I feel safe." He said, curious as to his own feelings.

"You are safe. I will never hurt you." I don't know from where the words were coming, but I knew I meant them. And I knew I would never go against them. "I'll keep your secret, Remus."

"Thank you." He whispered finally giving me a relieved smile.

Nodding, I looked at the other boys. They had given the moment to Lupin, knowing full well that he needed it more than they did, and they deserved a present for that. "I'll keep your secrets too, if you keep mine. Only the four of you know what I do during the full moon."

"Why is that? Why do you walk into the Forest like that?" Potter seemed different now. He was still guarded against me, but Lupin's appeasing changed something in him. Maybe he was a bit less worried.

"It's a blood thing. I don't have an appropriate answer, but I'm a descendant of powerful… wizards." This part of the explanation was not something I was comfortable talking. It was a matter I hated whenever Merlin brought it up, and if I could avoid it, I surely did. Potter caught my hesitation, but what he took from it, I have no clue. "And they have bestowed upon me an involuntary inheritance locked into my blood, and out of my control most times."

"What wizards?" Black spoke up, in an accusing tone of voice that made me question if I had done something wrong.

"I'm not allowed to say."

My quick answer wasn't as quick as his follow up question. "Why?"

"Because Dumbledore doesn't want me to." Annoyed, I looked away from him, cursing in my head that this whole situation had to happen.

The Gryffindors were clearly suspicious of me, but that's as far as I was going to take it. The mention of the Headmaster didn't move anything in my favor; however I hoped it might, even by a tiny bit. Wherever this relationship with Peter and the Marauders was headed, I needed it to be crystal that the details of my blood heritage weren't something I would be revealing to anyone. If ever I revealed the truth of my family and my circumstances, it would be firstly to Lily. No exception.

Potter crossed his arms again. "Do you have questions for us?"

I shrugged. "I already know Peter is the rat. I could tell what Lupin is, and by default you must be the stag, Potter." I pointed at Black's face in homage to the rude pointing he had done toward me. "Because his eyes are a giveaway."

This time I made him uncomfortable, and I took that as a victory.

It was late already, and though I did have some question I preferred not ask them at the very moment. I had to sneak back into my dorm, and the more energy I had to do that the better. Plus, I didn't want to give space for the Gryffindors to make up questions for me. Heck, I was still surprise they didn't have three rolls of parchment on hand, filled with questions. Maybe they weren't as curious as I thought. "What happens now?"

"We keep an eye on you. Kill you if you betray us." Black said, he had a bored look on his face that reminded me of that time in the last term when I was present when he served detention to Slughorn. I had forgotten that happened.

I stared; I really couldn't keep myself from doing it. "Are you serious?"

"As a matter of fact, I am." I didn't get his way of saying those words, or the joke that was obviously passed between the four friends, but one thing I did get was the smile. It was more of a malicious grin, very true to the personas known to be possessed by the school's infamous troublemakers.

"We're not going to kill you." Remus said, joining us. He was no longer sporting a frighten complexion. Why he felt the need to clarify that, I don't know.

"Definitely not." Peter said to Sirius, ever close to me.

Smirking to Black, who answered with a grin of his own, James Potter became less responsible and more like the annoying snob Lily liked to rant about. With a practiced motion, he passed his hand between his messy hair, making it point out in every direction even more.

"Of course not. We have other ways."

Merlin's beard, I feel like I stumbled into a cult.

...


	20. Chapter 20: Passive arguing

**Chapter 20:** Passive arguing

Even though Peter hadn't listened to my words and told his friends about me before me being ready for it, things didn't turn up so bad. The first week after meeting the Marauders they ignored me. A win-win for me really considering that I fell contently into doing the same thing. But then the second week began.

I would very much like to say that I wasn't avoiding them, but I would be lying. I was avoiding them as if my life depended on it. It was okay when I was with Lily. Though he professed his love for her every day, James Potter kept his distance during most of the day; therefore no Marauders while girl-talking with Lily and her friends. When I was with Peter it was trickier. One came with the other, no matter how much Peter claimed that the guys were too busy to meet with us. No. Peter and I could be sitting around in a random empty classroom for one or two hours, and then three Marauders would find us. So, I came up with innovating ways of avoiding them. I gave excuses, I faked ailments, and claimed phony meeting, hell one time I just stood up and left without saying a word. Their presence in my life came with a complexity that I wanted to keep away at all possible cost.

They claimed a good cause. The one about keeping an eye on me and making sure I didn't reveal Lupin's and their secrets. I wasn't going to do it. I gained nothing from it, and speaking about it might render me insane to some people. Besides, I had no one to tell aside from Lily and I didn't want to burden her as I was.

As I walked back into the castle from the greenhouses smelling of compost thanks to Herbology class, Peter met me by the entrance looking sweaty and desperate. We had Double Transfiguration together, so I expected to meet him or Lily at some point. The one thing I didn't know was how he knew my schedule so damn well to be able to find me, but he always had a knack for that, no point in letting it bother me. For all I knew it might be a rat thing.

"Please, please, please Faraday can you revise my Transfiguration homework? Moony didn't have time to do it." He pleaded.

I raised my hands up, pushing pass him to get under the protection of the stone archways. Pressing my hands over my head, I pushed any wayward strand of hair down. "Okay, first; sure I'll do it. Second, it's your homework, Peter. It's your responsibility to revise it. And third, what's a moony?"

He was fumbling with his book bag, fishing in it urgently when my words made him look up. "That's Remus' nickname."

"Oh right." I had no clue that was Lupin's nickname, but I did know that the quartet of Gryffindor boys had at one point of their life given each other pet names. And though the thought of eleven year olds calling each other cute names was adorable, teenage boys seemed kind of odd.

Peter handed me a roll of parchment, and my eyes instantly squinted at the sight of it. I felt sorry for Professor McGonagall and the other teachers that would have to read that and make sense of it to accurately grade it. Hell, I felt sorry for myself from agreeing to revise it. Sitting on a nearby bench, I sat and got to work. It took me close to twenty minutes, but when I was done, I handed the roll back to Peter. He hurried to pass all my corrections.

"This is where you've run off to?" James Potter said, coming closer with his hands in his pocket. His outer robes were opened, blowing in the wind in a fashion I'm sure was intended. With his masterfully disgruntle hair getting more disgruntled; he smirked when he caught my stare. He seemed too damn pleased to have found me. That or he was waiting for me to run off. Behind him were Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. The whole gang getting together, great.

"You guys wouldn't help." Peter accused, his head down, his quill moving faster and faster.

"I'm sorry Peter, but I was really late for Ancient Runes." Lupin said. He was carrying a couple books in his hands, and he deposited them in a spot next to me in the bench.

"Faraday helped."

"Maybe you should try finishing your own work, Wormtail." Black said standing next to Potter. His eyes landed on me for a second before ignoring me completely, and thank grandfather Merlin for that. I didn't like the way he spoke to Peter, but then again he was right. Peter did have a tendency to not be able to do things on his own that I'm sure got annoying.

Lupin began sorting the content of his bag as he stood close by me, leading down to pull out a roll of parchment. With that in his hand, he pushed the books with the rest of his things in the bag. When he was done, he turned to me with a small smile. In his face I saw a close expression to the one that he had been overcome with when we had touched that night when he revealed his secret to me. I think he felt comfortable. "Are you okay with Transfiguration? I remembered that you began Hogwarts on a special admittance."

"Ah, yes. I'm doing fine, I think. Every subject is extremely complex, I'm afraid of reaching the verge of insanity every time I start revising." I felt comfortable speaking to him too. My connection to him, at least for me, was not limited anymore. Now that I could clearly see him for what he was, I could also feel his link to me. It confused me for a while, but I knew intuitively the reason as to why we were connected. It was matter as ancient as my blood knowledge; something Merlin enchanted into being carved to the very centre of what made me his descendant. And I dreaded the thought that I needed to go to Dumbledore for help. It's the last thing I wanted to do.

"A mental breakdown, you mean? Like you had in November?" His words startled me for a moment simply because I had forgotten, as I did, about my small indecent in the Library researching animagus and the hospital visit it had entailed. Lupin saw my reaction, I couldn't hide it. I think he might have thought I was embarrassed about it, because he hurried to continue speaking. "If you need any help with studying, just ask me."

"Really?" I am a sucker for studying. I should have said a flat no. "I'll take you up on that offer for the next test."

"Could you do something other than study, Moony?" Potter said after finishing up a hushed conversation he was having with Black while Peter scribbled the final sentences of his homework.

With that it wasn't long until I stood up, actually giving a true excuse for leaving them. We had Double Transfiguration to get to, and I wasn't one to arrive late. My intention was to say goodbye, running off without hesitation, but that didn't happen. Peter stood up with me, and before I knew it Lupin was at his side. I thought my worries went that far, however soon I heard what I can only describe as James Potter and Sirius Black's prancing, behind me. With every stare we got, with every turn the mixture of our Houses colours caused, time slowed down. It was the longest walk to class ever that I could remember.

Things didn't get better though. As we neared our intended classroom, and I saw the familiar faces of my fellow Slytherins, I looked into the rival group of Gryffindors. Standing out, Lily's red hair took all my attention, and for a second I waivered if I should go to her. My situation was not good at the moment. As I got near, I saw how she talked to Mary. Then the worst thing happened, she felt my stare, and turned around. Yeah, she was shocked when she saw me.

"Merlin's left sock! You're friends with Evans!" Potter cried out. I jumped at his expression, and turning back to glare at him for the rude outburst. I watched as he grabbed Black's shoulders. Bringing his friend close to him and speaking as if I didn't exist, Potter hissed at Black's ear. "She's friends with Lily!"

"We knew this already, Prongs." I heard Black said, as I prepared for what was to come.

Lily Evans was marching toward me.

"Faraday, a word in private." Her green eyes were as wide as they could get, as she visibly shook with either anger or surprise. I think it was a mixture of both, either way I did not like it one bit. She didn't wait for a reaction, a word or a nod; she just strode away in the same manner she had neared me to an empty corner not far from where we stood.

I followed her, dragging my feet for this was a conversation I was dreading. It's not that I wasn't going to tell her, it's just that I didn't expect the Marauders to be following me around. Granted they weren't following me per se, it was all a great coincidence, however Lily wouldn't see it like that. She would never see it like that. For that reason I wanted to coax her little by little my new relationship with the boys. I didn't expect them to be my friends, but I did imagine they would turn up around me more times than I could give to chance, and Lily had to be warned. Only that I didn't warn her in time and I was now suffering the consequences of that.

Eyes followed us, I could feel a couple pairs on me, but if they were from people we knew or others that expected a show, I didn't know. My friendship with Lily was treated as a peculiarity by our classmates, adding Peter and his friends to the jumble; we weren't short of a space oddity. It was common knowledge that Gryffindors and Slytherins didn't go together, and what we were doing was always subject of gossip. Actual fake rumors had yet to get to me, and considering that I didn't talk to anyone, well that wasn't a surprise. And though I'm sure Lily knew them all, she didn't acknowledge them by sharing them with me, so I was in the dark. The only one I knew of had to do with Peter, but following my nature and Lily's example, I ignored the hell out of it.

"What's this?" Her beautiful voice was laced with incredulity and her hand twitched in a way that made me think she wanted to hold on to something. Whether it was her wand or my arm I wasn't interested in knowing.

"I can explain."

Her brow rose making an expression that reminded me of McGonagall when she received student excuses. "Oh, can you?"

I couldn't lie to her, nor make up a random excuses. With Lily I had to tell the truth or nothing at all, and in this situation I would not be able to get away without saying something. I dug my own grave with keeping secrets to her, and talking to the Gryffindor boys, but damn it, this shouldn't be such a big deal to her. "No, not really."

Lily sighed putting a hand on her bag which she had hanging from her shoulder. Her face wasn't as angry as before, though really she had barely been mad. "I get Peter, I do. And I understand Remus too, he's okay. But Black and Potter? What's going on with you?"

I forced out a frustrated-like grunt as I looked at her. I wasn't frustrated at her or her demand of a truthful answer, what bothered me was having to take responsibility for my actions. Why was that even needed? What changed with giving an explanation? "It's not a crime to know them, Lily."

"It's strange though! There's something going on here. Some sort of secret. Why else would they be hanging out with a Slytherin?"

I crossed my arms. I didn't feel any sort of anger. I could never be angry at Lily, but her words did sting in a way I did not like. "What, I'm not deserving of their attention because I'm some slimy Slytherin?"

"Don't misinterpret my words. That doesn't matter to me and you know it. I'm just saying that they," She pointed in their direction not caring that they were watching us intently. Hell, the whole hallway was mildly interested in our passive aggressive argument. "Have history with your House. And not the good kind."

"I know."

And I did. It was a matter that had bothered me since I talked to them. Those boys that were so eager to find me and the animals that had accepted me as one of their pack were not what I expected. Then again, I didn't expect anything from them. I didn't want anything from them. But nothing changed with that. The animagi and the werewolf were Gryffindors, troublemaker youngsters that had a target on my House and were not afraid of the collateral damage so long as they played their pranks. It was a matter that didn't sit well with me, one that I had been ignoring for the sake of giving Peter and therefore the others, a chance.

"Then why are you walking with them?" It warmed my heart to think that Lily was just worried about me, but she was still not appeased. No, her eyes still burned in that way that only Potter got them burning.

"I was sitting with Peter, and then the rest turned up. We were heading to the same place anyway. " I watched as Lily bit her lip in concentration and held back the emotion she was feeling. The last thing I wanted was to cause her discomfort. I would very much like to tell her that I would never speak to the Gryffindor boys again, but that was impossible. I was stuck with them until they tired of me. Whatever was to happen in my life, I couldn't lose Lily. "Don't be mad Lily, I love you."

"Well, I love you too." She stated, and was then softly befuddled as to how our conversation took a sharp turn from passive animosity to endearing companionship. "But I don't like this. Let's go to class."

Obviously, I did as she said without fuss.

* * *

I stood in front of Merlin's portrait well after curfew.

I waited until the Prefects were done with their rounds, as I always did, before sneaking out my bed to stand in a cold hallway. I didn't particularly need to talk to the portrait, I had exchanged a few words with him during the day, however I figured I couldn't abandon him for too long. We had gotten into a routine during Christmas and though Merlin understood it was now impossible to keep, he still looked at me most times like he wanted to talk.

Clearly he wanted to obsess over me and my situation to see in what way he could help. And that was annoying. Annoying, for the simple reason that I was like that because I inherited that uncanny obsession to be on top of everything from him.

Regardless on the flow of conversation between us, we just were in each other's presence, even if that really made no sense considering that he was just a painting.

But we weren't alone for long. It didn't happen much, yet every once in a while, the Headmaster would join us for a nice chat.

The topics we discussed as a trio dealt mostly with me and my coping with Hogwarts. Most times Dumbledore like to go over my classes with me, once even giving me some input into what to write in an essay. Other times, like now, he would offer to find me a suitable tutor that would help me with the final plunge to the finish line that was catching up with the curriculum. I said no to him, simply because I always said no. Sure, at the beginning of my school life I could have done with tutoring, but I had opted to doing things for myself, and though I had gotten pretty close to losing my sanity, I managed.

The teachers were always willing to help, I had blood knowledge and a library at my disposal, the portrait of the greatest wizard in history, and Dumbledore himself had taught me the basics of magic. There was nothing I couldn't do. I was over-hyping it, of course.

Besides, and I told the Headmaster this, I now had Lily to help me. And even Remus had volunteered to lend me his hand out of the goodness of his heart.

"Remus is a wonderful student. I am glad that you have accepted his help." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled and I got the impression that he was reading into it more than he should had. Lupin said the Headmaster was the one that gave him the opportunity to come to Hogwarts, he knew of the curse. And that made me wonder if the seasoned wizard knew all there was to know of what three students had done to help out their werewolf friend.

After a few more cordial words, Dumbledore bid us goodnight and walked off.

I followed him, there was something bugging me, and though I didn't like thinking about it, I had to get it over with. In the darkness of the empty hallway, all I could see was the white light coming out of his wand, as he held it before him. I didn't call out, though I should had, opting to just catch his long stride as best as possible. Though old, Headmaster Dumbledore was quick on his feet.

"I know what Lupin is." I felt weird saying it out loud, even as subtle as I was trying to be about it. It was a secret that didn't belong to me, and I had no right to utter it. Never the less, it affected me in a way that only a handful of people would know how. Dumbledore had stopped walking before I decided to speak up; giving me the impression that he must had known I was following. There was no way that he couldn't know, no matter how light I was on my feet normally. "I could tell."

"Do you know why you know?" Trust Dumbledore to not be surprise of the things I come up with. The light caught in his half-moon spectacles making him look less pleasant than he always did.

I nodded, dreading having to say out loud the words. "It's because of _her_ blood."

"Correct." Dumbledore was not faced by the way I mentioned her, how my voiced dripped with both confusion and wonder. And this was because there are two Dumbledores in my opinion. I had always had the inclination toward the theory, but I hadn't thought of it well, until my last talk with him. One of the Dumbledores is the wise teacher, pleasant and caring. The other is the scholar. I knew them both well, and at that very moment, when I was choosing to actively ask him for help, he was the scholar. He always was the scholar when it had to do with Merlin and _her_. Or at least, that how I had noticed it. "Why didn't you say this in front of Merlin's portrait?"

I didn't want admit the reasons to him. "He won't let me hear the end of it. She's a very tender subject to him."

"Understandable, considering their famous history." Speaking over the snoring of a nearby painting, the Headmaster moved away his wand, and his face now looked more accessible in the lighted darkness.

"I want to know more about her."

He looked at me, straight and it felt like he was staring right into my brain. Every thought was read, or heard or felt, and nothing was left in the dark to him. He knew it all. I do hate it when I over think things. "Without asking Merlin?"

"Without him being aware." It didn't feel as wrong as it should be to keep important secrets from Merlin when they had to do with him. "Please, Professor."

He looked away, unreadable as he stood in the middle of the darken hallway with just his wand lighting the space. With a nod, his eyes landed back on me. "Very well. There isn't much lore on her specifically that didn't come directly from Merlin, but I'll deliver you everything I find. I ask for your patience."

I accepted that.

...


	21. Chapter 21: Boys, boys and more boys

**Disclaimer:** I don't even own my car. . .

 **AN:** I'm a day late, and I don't have excuses for it. I didn't want to finish the chapter yesterday, so I didn't. Simple. Hope you enjoy this chapter that turned out longer than I expected it to be. There's a lot going on here in terms of introducing stuff and reminding of other things. Next chapter so far appears to be shorter. I have a draft of two pages only. Don't know how much I can stretch it. Maybe five pages, I don't know yet.

Thanks for reading, leave a comment, and have a nice day.

* * *

 **Chapter 21:** Boys, boys and more boys

I sat with Peter on a stand of the Quidditch pitch. I had a text book opened in front of my face, but that wasn't enough indication for Peter to stop talking. There was no stopping his chatter when it came to James Potter playing Quidditch.

He spoke of every dash, spin and dive that the Gryffindor Captain did on his broom. Brimming with details and information I had not asked for, Peter droned on and on, ignoring that fact that I wasn't paying much attention to him. I couldn't keep his words out of my head though, resulting in a jumble of thoughts that were giving me a headache similar to the one I got with blood knowledge.I was reading my book and I was listening to Peter, all the while a clutter of thoughts and lines went crazy inside my head. "...invented the Dionysus Dive, but Prongs perfected it.", "…something like a graceful ape in appearance…", "Look, look Wilfred did the dive! James spent five practices teaching him that last year."

I'll admit that when January ended I was excited for the news of the starting of the Quidditch season. Last term, I had enjoyed learning of the game and going to the matches. Though, not as into it as many of my classmates, it was something I was looking forward to be a rest from schoolwork.

Lily wasn't too eager for the season. Although she did like going to the games more than I did, it was a double blade for her. Quidditch for her, as a Gryffindor, meant having to deal with 'Potter's pompous arse' as she put it. I hadn't experienced it yet, but he apparently got insufferable in their common room, as well as every other proud Gryffindor.

My thought was that she was particular ticked off this time, because the news of the starting of the season had been announced on her birthday, and many of her friends forgot about it. Obviously, I didn't forget about the special day. It was her seventeenth birthday, after all. I got her an engraved mole-skin journal; to keep with the theme of giving her useful gifts. It was the only owl-order purchase I could buy. Therefore, my pockets were emptied. I used the last galleons the Ministry of Magic had provided for me. It didn't really matter; I was in no need of school materials or any other personal items, and the look on Lily's face when I gave it to it was well worth it. I was angry that her other friends forgot, but she was angrier, as she told me, that some only remembered because of James. He showered her with gifts when she came down to their common room, making a humongous scene. She didn't give me any details, having me suppose that she didn't want me to know, so I didn't pry or ask Peter for the information.

Dinner was soon to start, and though all that my tummy wanted to do was start heading for the Great Hall, I remained seated. It had been a nice day, no violent gust of winds or freezing rains, hell the sun had even come out for a few hours. I spent most of my free time between classes with Lily and Mary, until it came time for them to meet with their boyfriends, and I to head for the Library. On my way there, Peter found me somehow, and dragged me outside.

He made me climb the strands in the Quidditch pitch, settling us at the side where the Gryffindors sat during the games. Potter and his team were in the middle of it, sitting on their brooms as they discussed a fevered matter. At some point they agreed on something, and set out at high speeds to fill their positions. There was still enough light to follow the practice perfectly and whatnot, but I had no interest in that. Peter claimed he just wanted someone to sit with him while he watched, and that I could do whatever I wanted. He obviously meant he didn't mind if I studied, and I went for it, but I hadn't even found the right page to read when he started talking about moves and special plays.

"Where's Lupin?" I asked when Peter's chitchat had gotten the best of me and I knew I couldn't get more reading done. Closing the book, I left it to sit on my lap. I pressed my hair back to my bun, using the movement to stretch.

"Prefect duties." His eyes never lowered as he followed the movement of brooms.

Sometimes I wondered what Prefect duties entailed. I hadn't asked Lily yet, but surely it was more than patrolling the hallways, and giving detentions. "And Black?"

That caused him turn to look at me. He twisted his face in a confused frown, staring at me as if he had just discovered I was a new kind of oddity. That or he discovered I wasn't paying attention to his words from earlier. Either way, he raised his hand, pointing into the pitch. "He's up there."

Following his finger, I searched the Gryffindor team, and sure enough I saw the dark mane of hair and the name on the back of the red and gold team jumper. "Oh. I forgot he played." As I spoke, I watched as he deflected a bludger a teammate had led to him, hitting it with a massive force. Brooms zoomed around then, in an intricate play I could barely follow.

"How can you? He's the best Beater the team has had in decades. James is trying to make him stay."

"Why would he leave?"

"He's a stand-in." Peter squeaked. I made a face, not really getting what he meant and I guess he understood that it entailed for he continue. "Narius Patel was our original Beater and a good one too. Back in November his mum pulled him out of school. The first Gryffindor game was a week away so James didn't have time for trails. Since Sirius already knew the plays, he volunteered."

I nodded taking in what he said with mild interest. "But why did the other kid's mother take him out of school?"

Peter eyes darted around as if cheeking for spying ears. He neared me as if he wanted to speak in my ear. I didn't let him get that close, though. "His grandparents got attacked. The house was destroyed and the old couple were found inside, dead. The Mark was above it all."

"Mark? What mark?"

"The Dark Mark. V-voldermort's" He squealed when he said the strange name, showing a mixture of excited adrenaline filled fear when he said it.

The pit of my stomach began to hurt and I ignored Peter's following rambles of James' Quidditch teaching abilities. I had read of the Dark Lord in the Daily Prophet, little mentions in back pages that seemed to act in a defiant bold attitude. And I head of him in my House. The title was passed around the common room, amid all sorts of conversations. Toast, celebrations and planning among the Slytherins included the mention of the dark wizard which they held in grandeur.

My head was still swirling in dark confused waters when I head James Potter talking.

"Nolan." His voice was crystal clear and much closer than I would have thought. Immediately after my surname was said, Peter elbowed me. I jumped at it, turning to my friend and glaring at him. Sure, I had not thought that it was me who was getting spoken to, but I would think there was no need to be so rude. I massaged my bruised side, and looked up.

Sitting in his broom with the comfort and familiarity years of practice lead to, James hovered in the air in front of us, staring intently at me, in that way that made him completely different from his normal snobbish side. "Potter?"

"What are you doing here?" There was accusation in his tone of voice, and I didn't get why.

"I invited her." Peter piped in just as I had opened my mouth to speak. Potter's eyes darted to his Marauder friend, but they didn't linger. There was a slight glare in his eyes as he did so, however it didn't last. Though his question was answered, James still looked at me waiting for what I could only assume was _my_ answer.

I shrugged at him, Peter was saying the truth.

"You aren't here to spy on the team?" The accusation tone never left, and it was more than enough to get a rise out of me. When I say rise, I don't meant it in the sense of fighting for my honor. I mean it in a gets me annoyed kind of way. Assuming my presence in the pitch was of a negative sense was just plain rude. They were both rude idiots. I had been minding my own business when Peter appeared out of nowhere, and as far as I thought, me being there kept with the Marauders stupid plan of keeping tabs on me. Potter's consistency was uneven. One moment he's a responsible person, the other he's a pretentious prat and now he's insultingly insufferable. Now I understood why Lily said he was a pompous arse when it came to Quidditch. His zealous nature was indication enough.

Peter made a face as he hurried to stutter an answer for me. "No of cou-"

"Yes." Both pairs of eyes landed on me, but I simply looked at James. I made a point of glaring, ever ticked off by his insinuations of my character.

"You are?" He raised an eyebrow, and moved on his broom. For a moment I thought he was going to do his trademark rumpling of his hair, but he didn't. He arched his back as he sat, a hand resting on his hip and the other on his tight. I wanted to be amazed at his prowess on the broom, yet that would mean admitting that he was good, and that in turn meant letting go of my annoyed feelings. Hell there was no letting them go when Peter spoke again for me. He was not helping my case. He was making it worst.

"She's not."

"I am."

James eyes went to Peter and then returned to me. As I simmered in my emotions, trying hard to maintain them out of my face, the Quidditch Captain regarded me. I was intently in his eyes for longer than I would have liked. Behind him, the team continued with their practice, expertly conditioned to follow their routine without their leader needing to be there to enforce them. At one point, a smile began to form in Potter's face. "Are you saying yes just because Peter is talking for you?"

"No." Peter said.

"Yes." I said.

That made Peter look at me. I met his stare head on. We were there for a moment, until he visibly realized what he had done. He looked away, his whole face changing to a shade of pink. Feeling smug at having Peter hide from me, I turned to James. It was his turn to be bore down with my stare. He appeared slightly guilty, more uncomfortable with what he had witnessed, and that helped me to no longer be as annoyed as I was.

"Not to worry Captain. The Slytherin team is so good they don't need to resort to spying to beat you." That and none of the team would accept my input. Barely anyone in my House did in day to day matters, even less if it had to do with Quidditch.

"Okay, I don't have time to tell you how wrong you are." Whatever sore spot had lied between us was gone, and Potter went back to a more normal attitude. I could deal with that side. It was more manageable, even when Lily claimed it wasn't. Honestly, I rather deal with pompous, snob, prat Potter than responsible and serious James. "I'll leave you to marvel at our greatness."

Pushing his body down to his broom, he flew away.

I followed his dash to his team, and watched as he told them something I couldn't hear. For a fraction of a moment, I saw as Sirius Black turned his head in my direction. He must have seen us talking earlier. If our eyes met, I didn't know; he was too far for me to actually be certain. In the silence that ensued after Potter left, I turned to look a Peter. Slouching in his seat, he appeared defeated, and I almost felt bad for being mean to him.

"Sorry." He muttered. Fidgeting with his fingers on his lap, he refused to look me in the eye.

I threw my arm around him, intending it to be a form of comfort and nothing else. I had no need for more confessions. "Don't worry Peter. The amnesia took many things, but not my speaking abilities."

* * *

After dinner and an hour in the Library, I finally managed to return to Slytherin House.

Merlin bid me goodnight when I mumbled the password, and that was a relief for me as I passed by him. I was in no mood to spend an hour sitting in the cold in front of a painting. The long, low underground space that was the common room was filled with sounds. There were lots of students loitering around couches, tables and seats, lounging away the early night in pleasant conversations.

Heading strictly to my dorm, I passed housemates engrossed in discussions on leather sofas. On my way, I saw first year Graham sitting close to the door to my dorm. When I was nearing him, he noticed me. He waved and was pleasant to me when I stopped to say hello and goodnight. He was playing wizard chess with one of his friends, a girl name Anne. I watched as the little figurines moved when played, almost harbouring the idea of staying to watch. Wizard chess was fascinating. Politely refusing his invitation for a game, I moved on my way only to bump into someone.

"Are you well, Faraday?"

Taking a step back, I looked mortified at Regulus, who stood in front of me with all the patience in the world. Though horrified that I had done such a discourteous thing, I was glad and relieved that it was him. Should it had been anyone else, the person would have made sure to make a scene and then my week would have been ruined. "Sorry!"

"It's all right; I wasn't looking where I was going." Regulus adjusted his robes as his spoke.

"I find that strange to believe." I smirked as I regarded him. Though a year younger, he was already as tall as me, and I'm sure he still had more growing to do. He had a dark sheltered look about him, that had I not seen him playing Quidditch before I would see say he was too weak to do anything.

Regulus smiled a gracious affair that made him look mature and regal. "Please excuse me; I have matters to attend to with the Society."

I tried hard for my face not to fall and remain as I was. Yes, the Duelling Society, the Slytherins little secret club where they met once or twice a week to practice their wand handling and the Dark Arts. As I smiled Regulus away, I made a point to control my face better. I had mixed feeling with the Society. When I started school and was invited to it, I had been so excited, but now it was only a source of dislike and worry. I hadn't been to one since September, and going to them were what marked me as a pariah in the eyes of my housemates. I looked around at the ones gathered in the common room. None of them appeared to notice me, or my exchange from earlier, and that was for the best.

I watched Regulus walk off, the Society topic bugging me, keeping me in the spot when I should had already moved to my dorm.

"May we have a word, Nolan?" The sickly sweetness of the wording was what made it clear that the words were directed at me. I got the impression that I had to run, that I should try to save myself from the unpleasantness that followed the use of my surname in the Slytherin common room, but instead I turned around. Stupid of me. Then again, I should have moved as soon as Regulus stopped talking to me.

Had it been just Severus Snape the one addressing me, I would have been fine. Though horrible to deal with, I could handle a social encounter with him. I had done it before and had emerged from it unscathed. Things weren't that easy, however. On his side, with a self-satisfied face stood Lorcan Mulciber.

They wasted no time talking, even when I never agreed to speak to them.

"We've been hearing strange things about you." Snape began making me wonder if he was the ring leader in this little intervention. His choice of partner for the event let me to believe that this was not his idea. I could be wrong.

Lorcan continued on. "Mainly your association with certain Gryffindors."

I didn't say anything. Mulciber's stare was burning holes into my very being, and it was very hard to come up with a retort so out of nowhere with them on top of me.

Snape went on even pressing on in what I believe he thought to be a righteous act of kindness toward a colleague that had no idea what she was doing **.** "You are a member of the House of Salazar Slytherin and that entails a certain type of pride that I'm afraid you are putting at jeopardy. Potter and his gang of infidels are a stain in this school, and you would do well to avoid them. They are not to be trusted."

"They are _my_ friends." Maybe I did wrong to include all four of the Marauders in that sentiment, but I didn't care. What bothered me more about the situation was having to explain myself. I didn't explain myself fully and truthfully to Lily, why the Hell did I had to do it to Severus Snape and Lorcan Mulciber? I made sure to appear as stubborn as I felt, glaring to them as fiercely as I thought myself able.

With a nasty expression that seemed too normal on Snape's face, he lowered his hooked nose, his hair framing his face in a way that didn't suit him at all. "I couldn't believe at first that a member of our house could spend time with Gryffindor scum. I thought that you were being taken advantage of, but now I've been clarified. I do thank you."

I stared. Oh, I did not like his choice of words, though they were perfect to use against him. "You didn't say anything when it was just Lily." My accusation was directly and strictly for Severus. And I got the effect I had wanted.

Snape's face contorted instantly, from a viciously calmed demeanour it changed to spite.

Lorcan took a step forward, and with his long legs a step forward meant being way too close for comfort. I tried hard not to look him in the eye, but they captured me before I could turn away. "My sweet Faraday. We're worried about you. All day, everyday you're up and down with that raggedy group of blood-traitors and half-bloods." I wanted to say that he was exaggerating, to defend myself, but I couldn't do it. Not when his stare pierced right through me. "People are talking. Of you and them. Of you and Pettigrew. The naughty kind of talk, darling."

For the longest moment, all I could do was stare at him. His word left no space for the imagination; I knew what he implied. I tried for it to not get to me. I made myself as impassive as ever, so to not grab more attention. So far there weren't prying eyes on us that I could notice, and that was a strength inducing surprise. "I thank you for your concern, but who I chose to befriend shouldn't matter to you."

"It matters when it deals with Gryffindor blood-traitors and _abominations_." Snape's words made me wince. They did. It wasn't a direct insult to me, but Merlin's beard it sure felt like it was. I'm sure it was the abomination bit that got the rise from me. I knew who he was referring to, and it felt like a personal insult his slur to Remus Lupin.

I remained silent as I regarded his hissing anger. I prayed for Lily to forgive me from using her words to jab at Severus. Maybe she would get angry at me, she had trusted me with the story of her friendship with him, but it was the only weapon I had. "Lily's a Gryffindor, do your words encapsulate her, as well?"

That made Snape slip, like I had intended when mentioning my friend. "I never said—"

"You said Gryffindor abominations. The first time I went to the Society, someone told me muggle-born students were abominations. Though, they used a hideous word to refer to them." I didn't look away, I couldn't. As I spoke in a deliberate polite manner, I tried to emulate confidence and power. I had to if I wanted my words to work their magic. "Ah, you know the one. Lily told me you do."

My point reached its mark. Severus was seething. He shook with anger, his mouth taking the form of a mean grimace. On another hand, Lorcan's face showed only pure wicked excitement, the one he saved sorely to when I reacted to his negative pushing.

Snape flourished his robes, and before I could react to even take a step back, he had his wand fully pointed at me. His arm raised between us, all my previous bravado went for a swim in the lake. My thoughts went to my wand, and how I had it hidden in a pocket to my side. If I went for it, I could be cursed or jinxed at least once before I got it. And that was without considering Lorcan joining the fray. But he didn't, he gazed only at me, waiting for what would be my reaction.

"That's enough." Coming to stand between Snape's wand and me, Gemma intervened, her Prefect badge shining brightly. She was unarmed, but she was secure in her stance. As ever, her tall, slim body and her long blonde hair made her an imposing figure. It was a relief to not be alone anymore, even when I didn't know what her interference meant. Why had she come? Was it to help me, or to stop a conversation from becoming a thunderous scene? My thoughts shifted to the second reason. Gemma didn't care for me in any sense to help me.

Mulciber stepped closer to her, as if he expected his movement to make her walk away. "We're not done."

"Yes you are." Gemma pressed using the full force of her school title.

His wand never wavering, Snape spoke. "This has to be done, Carrow."

"Not like this. Not again." She said and I was astonished at her choice of words. I watched her. I had to. In her eyes I saw regret, and in my heart I wished it wasn't just a naive assumption of mine. What did she regret? Allowing Snape and Mulciber a chance to corner me and almost attack me, or what happened in September, because this scene was eerily similar? I couldn't tell. "You can go, Faraday."

I eyed her, trying to see a trick in her. I didn't see any. I wanted to, though. Everything seemed too simple that for all I knew could be a trap. But it wasn't. Gemma was genuinely playing her role as Slytherin Prefect with no preference in mind.

"Thanks." I said softly, turning without vacillation to walk to my dorm.

. . .


	22. Chapter 22: Food for thought

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

 **AN:** As always, enjoy the chapter! ^_^

* * *

 **Chapter 22** : Food for thought

A naïve part of me wished for things in Slytherin House to cool down to be a nice fun place for me as I was sure it was for lots of my housemates. But that wasn't about to happen any time soon, so I tried for it to not get me down.

I didn't tell anyone of what happened with Snape and Mulciber. I didn't mention it to Peter, and more importantly I didn't tell Lily.

Something deep inside kept me from it. Maybe it was my bruised ego or pride, either way the day after the incident when Lily asked me how my night had been, I lied. I kept the truth to myself, and forced it to not bother me. There was no point in letting it get to me, even less when nothing too bad had come off it. I've had way worse exchanges with Lorcan Mulciber. It wasn't a big deal, and that was what I told myself when I refuse to speak of it to Lily. In my mind I knew she had a right to know; I had used her name to steer the conversation to my advantage. I suppose I didn't only for my peace of mind, to not admit to the hostility I mostly experienced in my House, and to not mention Severus Snape to her.

So I ignored every housemate related issue for a couple days and concentrated fully on my studies.

Though Lily urged me to take it a bit slower for my sanity's sake, I didn't listen. In my opinion I was perfectly sane. The one with the problem was her. As much as Lily was able to keep to level with my kind of studying, she couldn't do it for long. Unlike me, she had Prefect duties and a boyfriend to occupy her time. And though she tried to mix all up together, her duties, studying, her friends and Uric Belby to have a better management of her time and not to lack to any of them, she came short with time. I on the other hand, had all my free time to immerse myself into reading and revising, and I would do that whenever I could.

I studied with Lily or with Mary, or both if it was possible. I sat in my favourite table in the Library and revised the hours away until it was time to either sleep or eat. If Peter joined me, I would pull out a parchment of notes to memorize them because he wasn't one that liked helping me. If the Marauders appeared out of nowhere, I would urge Remus Lupin to quiz me.

Hell, that's was what we were doing two days before February's full moon.

In an empty classroom on the second floor, I sat with Remus and James Potter. We had been there for hours. I ran into them when I was leaving the Great Hall after dinner, and they refuse to leave me in peace. Therefore, Peter gave the idea of finding a private space where we could be comfortable. Obviously I tried to go against him, but the rest of the boys were into it, and I was overruled. I don't really understand their obsession over keeping an eye on me. Initially, when they said they would do that, I thought it would be limited to checking in on me once or twice. It had gotten overboard. Someday I spent more times around the Gryffindor boys than I did with Lily, and that bothered me. It was Peter's fault, I decided, whose nice friendship with me made the rest gravitate after him.

Pushing unused desks aside, one of the boys had lighted up the classroom's fireplace, and we had sat in a semicircle in front of it. For the longest time the Gryffindors went about their own conversation, and eager to be ignored, I pulled out a text book. I had not read two pages or had gotten any blood knowledge headaches before Remus scooted pass Peter to me. He asked if I was studying for the Transfiguration test and when I said yes there was no stopping him from studying with me.

Though sick with the coming transformation, Remus insisted on jumping fully into it. We quizzed each other for a while; at some point the rest of the Marauders joined us. Whether it was boredom or the actually need to do well in the test that compelled them to involve themselves, I don't know. It was a nice moment when they finally did something that didn't annoy me. They were brilliant at it. Peter need all the help he could get, but Remus was a great student, and his intelligence reminded me much of Lily's. The other two James and Sirius were naturals, and I almost hated them when one of them said they barely studied.

When they grew tired of studying, Peter and Black went to fetch treats from the kitchen and James laid back on his elbows to watch the fire.

Closing my text book with a gentle smile, Remus placed it to the side. His face was devoid of color and at odd moments he would either work out at sweat or shiver with the cold. He claimed that it was enough for the night, his eyes dropping heavily in the orange glow of the fire. I looked at my watch. It wasn't curfew yet, and should I had been alone, I wouldn't stop at least until an hour more. Remus sighed and laid down on his side. I didn't know if he was capable of falling asleep instantly, but he didn't move for a long time. As I watched him, I could feel our connection. It was growing stronger with each passing second as the full moon neared. On his other side was James who had sat back up. Sprawled as he watched the crackling fire, he had his hands pressed to the floor. He must have felt my gaze, for not a minute went by before he spoke to me.

"Faraday," He got my instant attention. It was the first time I had heard him use my name. The fact of it unsettled me. This was serious Potter talking, and this side of him nerved me a tad. He didn't look at me when he spoke, and I couldn't really see his expression well, his glasses made it difficult. "Could you do me a favour?"

I put my notes away, tucking them into my bag. I tried not to look at the Gryffindor more. No need for him to see my vacillation in case he felt the stare again. "What's in it for me?"

"I'll give you anything you want."

He was as sombre as it was uncharacteristic of him and I didn't like it. Why couldn't I get stuck with snobbish, prat Potter that Lily loved to hate? Why did I have to deal with this side? Still, I tried to play it normal. Though, I was curious as to where he was going. "I'm listening."

"Do you think you could put a good word in for me to Evans?" This time he did look at me. For a moment I thought the glare of the fire would make the lens of his glasses shine as he turned to look at me as he spoke, but that didn't happen. I came full face with sombre Potter in all his glory, sitting in a modest fashion next to his sleeping friend. "You're good friends; maybe she'll see me in a new light if it's coming from you."

I'll admit it, I almost said yes to his wild idea. He seemed so humbly bare as he spoke, that I didn't want to hurt him. However that feeling lasted only a second. My thoughts went to Lily and of all her rants about the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, and all the times I had used his name to tease my friend. I was starting to like James that much was true. Though it was annoying to come to terms with it, I did find him funny and remarkably gifted in brains and the wizard sport. Yet I didn't know him well enough to do that kind of favour. What's more, it wouldn't be fair to Lily, who was my friend and trusted me to stay level headed among the Marauders. "I could say the very best things of you, James, but her feelings won't change if she doesn't see them to be true."

To my surprise, he let the subject drop with a simple, almost crestfallen nod of his head.

That was the moment Peter and Sirius chose to arrive.

Peter hurried to my side, his arms stacking many different kinds of yummy snacks that spiked my interest. Kneeling next to me, he began placing the treats on the floor. James scooted pass Remus to get to them as Sirius sat in front of us with his back to the fireplace. With a hand in the process of messing his hair, I watched Potter search through the pile. If my last words to him deflated him somewhat, it didn't appear to be so anymore. He was back to his normal spirits, pushing his best friend with a bump of his shoulders.

"Is Moony still alive?" Black asked, unceremoniously dumping all the goods he carried in the middle of their strange circle we formed on top of the ones Peter had neatly placed down a moment before.

"No." Came a rumble from the huddled figured that had become Remus Lupin as he rested.

Sorting the snacks around, while two of his friends grabbed at them, Sirius smirked. His dark hair framed his face as he leaned forward, shooting a glance to the resting Gryffindor. "Good, more chocolate for me then."

In a swift movement, Remus sat up. Waiving an arm toward Sirius, he went for the pile. "Get away, fiend."

A round of laughter ensued, one that I couldn't escape from joining. Peter sat next to me, fixing the mess his friend had made. There was an assortment of goods; some appeared indeed to had been gotten from the kitchens. There were tarts, biscuits and other solid puddings that seemed to be the same ones served at dinner earlier. But there were also Cauldron Cakes, chocolate bars and frogs, a box of Berties Bott's Every Flavour Beans and an opened bag of Fizzing Whizzbees.

I eyed them, eager to try a couple of them.

Peter fished in the pile and he gave me a Cauldron Cake, knowing that it was one of my favourite. It looked as savoury as they all did, and I grabbed for it gladly. I smiled at my Gryffindor friend, pealing the wrapping away. As I did that, I felt a stare at me. Two stares, actually. When I turned to look up from my sweet, I saw that James and Sirius had their eyes on me. They looked away as quickly as possible, but I caught them. Whatever had crossed their minds when they stared at me, I tried to ignore.

"I can't wait for the full moon." Sirius arching his back as he sat crossed legged.

"Speak for yourself." Remus said darkly, glaring at his friend with the same intensity of his words.

Grabbing at the pile of goodies, Sirius fished out a rectangle and pealed the paper off. With the richly brown chocolate of the bar expose, he offered it to his cursed friend. There was a moment as I looked at them, that I thought it was a stupid looking manner of apology, but since I barely knew both boys I figured I had no right to judge them. Eyeing him, Remus leaned forward to take the bar. He bit into the chocolate with a passion, and just like that they were both content again.

A moment went by before James spoke to me again. Nothing like his previous sombre self, it gave me peace of mind that he was more normal now. "Will you be joining us Faraday?"

Caught mid bite of my cake, I chewed down to be able to answer him. Such horrible timing, there was nothing more that I wanted to do than enjoy every single bit of the cake without the meddlesome affair that was talking. I shrugged a half-assed movement that one might not be able to notice in the weak light of the fire. "Probably. I don't have control over what I do in that state."

"You look like you've had one too many shots of Firewhisky." Peter said, but that was something I remembered he had already said to me at some point after Christmas.

I smiled at him.

Potter cleared his throat to get my attention away from Peter. When he had it, his eyes roamed my face before they landed on my eyes, almost embarrassed to do so. "How does the whole thing work? I mean, Moony's transformation begins with him getting sick a few days before."

"Well, mine's not really a transformation. It's more like a secret part of me wakes up and takes over. Normally it waits till the moon is high." I thought things through with what I could lucidly remember. "Yeah, I go to bed, and when the moon's already fully out I wake up and just walk out the dorm."

"And you don't get caught?" Sirius asked me between mouthfuls of a tart he had gotten out of the pile.

"No. Hasn't happened yet." I told him staring straight into his eyes. I didn't like to do that. Of all the Marauder's his eyes were the ones that captivated me the most. I adored looking at them when he was in dog form, but as a person it seemed awkward to lose myself in them. Pushing that aside, I went on. "How do you guys not get caught?"

"We made a map." Peter chirped in to my side.

I nodded as an acknowledgement of his words.

There was a tense second in which the other three boys looked at Peter as if to chastise him for what he said. It was odd as they tensed, clearly trying to keep some kind of Marauder secret. When the information was out in the open, and they knew they couldn't take Peter's words back the three Gryffindors had different array of reactions. Potter viciously bit his lip as he tried to cut back his reaction of irritation, Black moved his hand as if he wanted to smack Peter on the head, Remus shook his head; all at the same time Peter looked down frighten realizing what he did. After that, they eyed me, seeming to be waiting for a reaction in me. When there was none, because I just sat there watching them watch me, Lupin spoke. He was as pale as one would think his sickness got him, but after the chocolate he seemed livelier around the eyes. "You're not a very curious person, are you Faraday?"

I made a face resisting the urge to shrug. I did that too much around them already. I hadn't expected that my lack of interest would be something surprising to them. Why should it? Anyway, there was a different between not caring, curiosity and not needing to know. In my way of thinking, not needing to know was a pleasant spot to cruise in. I knew too much already, and my disinterest alleviated the tense air. "I don't need to know everything about you guys."

After that I stuffed the rest of my Cauldron Cake in my mouth, and we concentrated on the snacks Peter and Sirius had brought for our enjoyment.

* * *

The girls that slept beside me didn't stir as I ascended from my bed. The pull of the moon had awoken me, and under her influence I felt contentment. All was as it should be. My world had balance and happiness in it once more for I was free. And at that moment, I needed to feel the moon on my skin. I needed the wind to mess my hair and for the ground to embrace my feet. I desperately needed to run with the pack.

There was no sound as my feet diligently met with the soft fabrics that decorated the floors, the hem of my nightgown caressing them to silence.

I glided from my bed to the door, from the common room to the portrait hole. There was a desperate thirst in me, the one that called simply for the feel of Lady Moon's touch and I was to satisfy it as I did whenever she reigned.

My hand, a strange five legged creature in the darkness of the room, raised itself to the back of the painting that shielded the students of Salazar Slytherin from the rest of the castle. The movement was involuntary, I had not willed it up, but my appendage knew my needs and it worked to get me to fulfil them.

"Morgana?" An old man spoke as I walked passed him. It was a voice I knew well. An ancient voice of a man that had taken me to worlds unknown and had condemned me. That or the voice of a man that cared and mentored me more times that I cared to acknowledged and for two lifetimes. In my state, I couldn't separate which.

"You've gone senile, Merlin." I felt myself saying, though it seemed ridiculous considering I was talking to a painting. My voice seemed different, I couldn't recognize it as my own, yet somehow I knew deep inside that there was only one owner of it. "But then again, you are merely a painting."

I didn't turn to him, I couldn't. In my mind I had the perfect image of him, and in my delirium it was easy to push it way. "Don't go, Faraday. Control it and go back to sleep."

His plead was coated with concern and it brought out a tenderness in my being that didn't belong truly to me. It was hers, but it washed over me with its emotions, my skin tingling in ways I didn't need to understand. I wanted to look, I could had force myself for the fluid motion, yet I did not. The affection brought sadness to me, a feeling I understood better than the tenderness, and I wanted nothing of it. Not when I was to meet with the moon. "I can't. It's who I am."

I swayed away. The moon beckoned and the pack in the forest wanted to play.

. . .


	23. Chapter 23: Invitation

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

 **AN:** I have wonderful news everybody! When I last posted I remembered that Valentine's Day is this week. And easy calculation led me to the decision that it was an opportune time for me to force myself to post twice a week. So sweet readers, I leave this chapter here today and I'll (hopefully) come back tomorrow with the next one.

* * *

 **Chapter 23:** Invitation

More than a week after February's full moon, I found myself with Lily in the Library.

It was Friday, and I had come out of Double Potions ready to get work done. I planned to finish all the homework I had assigned for the following week, so I could immerse myself during the weekend in a stack of old books Dumbledore lent me. They had been delivered before I woke up. My dorm mates had commented on them; a total of five books sat one on top of the other on my nightstand. I said they were probably put there by the house elves and then I proceeded to ignore them by readying a letter from the Headmaster.

He claimed the books had been written in the time Merlin was alive by wizards contemporary to him, and that they spoke in detail of much of what they witness personally from my ancestral grandfather. Of Morgana, of whom I had asked for information only recently, he said he needed more time, but directed me to one of the books that had a page on her.

So I went about my day thinking of the lore to read at the same time as I tried to push it out of my mind. Spending the better part of a free period in the Library, Lily and I had been accompanied by some or her friends, but they left for their different classes. There was loud buzz lingering and rising in Hogwarts and it all had to do with the following day. However, today was a day for writing essays and of the last one to be done, we labored for a long time over reaching a foot of parchment. When we were sufficiently happy with what we had written, Lily gave me her parchment and I gave her mine, and we set to work.

It was an assignment for Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Lily had a skill when it came to writing essays for it. She was wonderful describing spell work and dark creatures, making me a bit self conscious of my written work. My peace of mind always came when Lily would give me back my parchment and I would find it devoid of drastic corrections. It was a moment to look forward to; one I could be proud of since my intense studying regime was working well if the best girl in class thought them to be fine.

I watched Lily squirmed in her seat, stretching her right arm in particular trying it to make strange angles to reach what I could only imagine was a pop. She twisted it around, trying to alleviate a pain that went as far as knotting itself on her forehead. With no relaxing pop to indicate a job well done, she deflated herself, sighing and slouching her shoulders forward as she went back to my paper with her quill.

"Did Professor Ofina have your class dueling again, yesterday?" I asked Lily. I couldn't watch her discomfort any longer. As much as I wanted my essay done with, I didn't want her to force herself when she was too down for it. And I thought conversation would help her.

"Yeah, her drills are insane." She sighed struggling with her words, passing them through gritted teeth, but once they were out in the open, many others stumbled out, giving me the impression that there was nothing more than she wanted to do than talk. And I hit the nail on the topic that bothered her. "Nina Bagnold couldn't defeat her boggart. She stumbled back unto me, crying. I was about to hex Mary so of course I miss and hit Nicrian Stimpson who was on the platform at the other end of the room. He lost his footing and landed in the middle of a duel, getting hit with a Stupefy. He was sent to the Hospital Wing with a fractured knee. It was horrible."

I gave her what I hoped was a sympathetic expression. My heart warmed by her and the conflicted look that invaded her green eyes. "Don't feel bad, it wasn't your fault."

She sighed again, her shoulders slouching a bit more after she tried to straighten them to maintain better emotions. "I just wish the professor didn't take things to such extremes. I know we are in a war, and we have to be prepared, but it's not nice that my friends have to get hurt just so I can practice."

"At least it's not a permanent damage. And you're under surveillance. Things don't get dirty in the classroom with the Ravenclaws." I said remembering my classes of Defense Against the Dark Arts. The Slytherins took it with the Hufflepuff so it was normally a well mannered affair, at least for me. My partner for my duels was Missa Lufkin, a Hufflepuff. She was a quiet, timid girl that answered my questions in monosyllables or grunts, but she was a quick thinker when it came to dueling and she kept me on my toes. The worst she had done to me was break my nose and that also happened to be one of the worse incidents we had had in the whole class; broken noses and a Vomiting Hex that had Mafalda spewing her way to the Hospital Wing.

"You're right. You're absolutely right, of course." I watched as she tried to inflate herself with a positive looking shake of her head, but when she was done she only seemed slightly up. She still radiated sadness. My guess was that it wasn't her day, even though nothing bad had happened as far as I knew. She had been fine at Potions. Her day had soured in Defense. "I've never seen you duel, Faraday. Are you good?"

"Well, I like to think so." She smiled at my words and I was glad that she did. Made me feel special for managing it, even if it didn't last long. "Maybe later we can have a spar you and I."

Nodding, she went on with deflated energies for the remainder of our free hour. I didn't like seeing her like that, but there wasn't much I could do. Sometimes a day was just horrible. Therefore, I left her as she was, and accepted my foot of parchment back with a small smile. I seemed to had done well in her eyes, and I was glad that I was done with all my work. Now all I had left to do was read Dumbledore's books. Lily was still down when it was time for us to leave the Library. She had a scheduled office hour with McGonagall, and she remained as disheartened as she had been before. I had plans of meeting with Peter, who would be out of Muggle Studies at that hour. I was only going to spend a short while with him, before heading to my House.

"Lighten up, Lily." I tried to tell her as a last resort. "Tomorrow's Valentine's. I'm sure Uric has something nice planned for the two of you in Hogsmeade."

Gertrude and Mafalda had talked of nothing else the night before as they got ready for bed. I was reading in my bed with the curtains pulled around me, so I was easy to ignore as they went on and on about what they expected from their boyfriends in the upcoming special day. As was expected with my amnesia, I had no clue what Valentine's Day was, but after listening in on my dorm mates, I could paint the picture. It didn't interest me for I didn't have a significant other to spend it with, or go with considering the first Hogsmeade trip of the term had been scheduled for the same day. I did want to go to Hogsmeade, since I had never gone, but I had no intention of going alone if Lily had a date. Nor was I going to ask Peter. He had his friends, and at least at that I didn't want to bother him.

Lily sighed as a response, packing her things into her bag.

We left the Library together but then we separated. Lily headed for the Professors office and I went outside to the grounds heading for the lake. It had rained for days, but today the sun came out and students were making the most of it by enjoying the general dryness. They loitered around in loud groups, more than once the word 'Valentine' floating around.

I got eyes as I went. I could feel them burning into me, and I did my best to ignore them as I headed down the stone path to the lake. There was a primordial rumor about me running around Hogwarts and as insignificant as I was in school, it refused to die down. And I knew it wasn't because of me, hell I knew it wasn't even because of Peter, it was all because of the Marauder reputation. Obviously, people had taken notice of my spending time with the Gryffindor boys. They spread many rumors I didn't care to listen, but the one being Peter's girlfriend was the most spread. The lie itself didn't bother me. None of the other did. It was the attention that got to me. I had no need for it, nor any desire to have it, and it was a nuisance that I hated. Though, the worst thing was that I figured I had to force myself to be alright with it.

Peter was one of my two closest friends, and I could never shun him away because of rumors. Plus there was the fact that I was getting used to the other Marauder boys. It wasn't such a hassle to be around them anymore, even when it caused a faster and more imaginative wave of lies to be spread around.

I found Peter with the rest of the Gryffindor boys sitting by the beech tree by the lake, lazily thrown under its cool shade. They were speaking together and when they saw me approaching, they waved at me. I sat between Peter and Remus, the last who had his face buried in a book. Peter had one opened in front of him too, but it laid forgotten as he spoke to his friends. They were starting to talk about the Hogsmeade trip too, and the special day it had landed on.

"Are you going?" Peter asked me after I finished adjusting my robes on the floor.

"No, I have a lot of books to read." Though I was excited to learn new information about my ancestors, I did secretly want to go to Hogsmeade. I wouldn't admit it anytime soon, but a little part of me wanted an excuse to go.

"Agh, you're so boring, Faraday." Sirius said, staring off haughty and bored to the students milling around the grass. For a second I wanted to be angry, but that was pointless. He turned to his best mate. "Prongs, what do you want to do in the village?"

James was resting his back against the bark of the tree, and even when one would think it was to feel comfortable, he looked anything but that. He took a breath before speaking, not looking at anyone in particular. "Well, Lily has a boyfriend. I'm sure they have a romantic day planed. Therefore, I want to stalk them for a couple hours and then drown my sorrow in Madam Rosmerta best oak-mature mead."

"No sabotage?"

James looked at me for a second, playing it off like unintentional as he went to pay attention to his friend messing his hair in the process, but I noticed. My mind went to that time he asked me to speak to Lily in his stead, and my answer. I tried not to show it on my face, yet I was extremely pleased that he had listened to me. Or at least I thought that had something to do with his decision. "I'm not feeling it."

"Boring, but I'll go for a bender too. Moony, Wormtail, what do you guys want to do?"

"Haul supplies." Remus said over his book and Peter on my side nodded, whispering something about a zonko and honey.

"No surprise at all." James said. This time he seemed different than the moment before. He leaned forward, a glint in his hazel eyes that I hadn't seen so close before. There was smugness in them, the kind I had seen when he was up to no good, and it made me wonder why. "And you Padfoot are you going on a date?"

I got a feeling there was an intended jab in his words with the way he said them. Especially with the irritated expression in caused on Sirius. When he answered, his words were drenched with sarcasm. "Yes, because I have a bird to go with."

"I'm sure you can find someone."

"Why don't you just stare one down and ask her. Like you did last Valentine's with Denyse Strentton." This was supplied by Remus whose eyes never left the book he read. I eyed the cover, trying to read the title and see if I recognized it. Damn thing had his resolved attention, it must have been fascinating. I made a mental note of it, intent of asking him later if I could borrow it.

"I don't fancy any of the girls right now." Black pulled a fistful of grass from his side, exposing the dark moist ground underneath. He threw the handful to the side, watching it land too close to where a group of third years were scribing furiously what could only be homework, and went to do it again.

"That doesn't seem like something to be so angry about." I said, more of a comment to his actions then to what was being conversed between the boys.

"He's angry because he wanted to take you." Peter said as he went to whisper in my ear, but when he spoke he did it too loudly, and I flinched away. Pulling a bit more back, I was shocked. Whether it was because of the information, though I had no idea if it was real, or the fact that Peter had come out with it so comfortable, like it wasn't a big deal, well, I didn't know. Looking instantly at Sirius, I noticed that he heard what Peter _whispered_. Hell the other two did as well, and they weren't too happy about it.

"Wormtail!"

"You s-said 'Next Valentine's I'll be taking Birdie to Hogsmeade.'" Peter said in a manner that seemed to me was to defend himself after afflicting damage. He became smaller under his friends' glare, and once I saw him look at James, as if asking for help. The Quidditch Captain shook his head and it made me realized something. James' jab from earlier had implied the same thing Peter had bluntly said.

"Birdie?" I asked not perturbed anymore with what had happened, turning to my friend with a slight curiosity.

"T-that's you."

"I figured." My stare landed on Black again, and he had eyes only for glaring at Peter. I tried to see beyond his angry grey eyes and his tense ready to pounce body. I analyzed every inch of him in a second, and I didn't find anything too problematic for me. There was no evading my look, or embarrassment in him, he didn't really seemed to care that I knew this sort of secret. Truth be told he looked like he had been betrayed, and glancing at James at his side cemented that thought in me. Potter had the same expression and tenseness, albeit not with the same intensity.

Sirius threw a patch of grass unto Peter, staining his robes with the dirt that clung to its roots. He squirmed by my side, trying to clean the fabric with his bare hands. We watched him fumble over himself, and after a while of waiting, I pulled my wand out to utter a cleaning spell. I felt sorry for Peter, I really did, but a part of me didn't enjoy the fact that he had told me that so brusquely in front of all his friends. He shouldn't have even told me, he knew how aversive I was to that kind of thing after he confessed during Christmas.

"What bothers you more, Padfoot? Not going with the bird in the white dress or losing the bet?" Remus had closed his book, and his immersion into the conversation alleviated the tense atmosphere for before. I turned to him, feeling like I was in a whirlwind of astonishment, whipping around from one side to the other.

"There was a bet?!" This time it was me the one that spoke louder than I should have, and that action apparently eased the space under the tree a bit more, almost back to normal and so where the boys.

"Twenty galleons." James simply said, enjoying what I could only imagine was the look on my face.

I whirled back to Black, this time he did meet my stare. There was nothing in those grey abysses that I recognized, not that I made a habit at looking at him, but I felt comfortable with the fact that nothing was awkward. When Peter had told me his feelings there had been a few awkward encounters between us, not that I thought Sirius Black had feelings for me. He seemed as normal as I felt, and I took that as a good sign. "Why haven't you asked me to Hogsmeade yet?"

He was surprised, they all were. He blinked a couple times at me, giving the impression that he couldn't see me well. There was an indecisive moment in him, I caught him off guard, and he looked in the corner of his eyes to James. That one also could only stare at me, his mouth slightly agape. "You'd go with me?"

"If all is clear that it's a date sorely to win the bet and I get to spend half the money, then yes." I did a motion with my hands as I blurted out the words, more excited than I should be **.** I wanted to go to Hogsmeade, and though I had lots of interesting things to do, all I needed was an excuse. Also, one of the main reasons I didn't want to venture to the village by myself was because I didn't have any money. I spent all I had left on Lily's birthday present. And going to look at stores without money was no fun.

"That's folly!" James said pointing at me with an obtrusive finger.

"There weren't any specifications." This was replied by Remus, whose eyes shone with a playfulness I found myself enjoying.

"It's my money!"

"But you're Peter's girl." Sirius spoke over James' complain. My attention went back to him. His eyebrows were set together as he stared, his eyes bouncing between me and Peter.

"I don't get why everybody thinks that." I said to Peter. He looked away as if I had caught him doing something bad. It made me wonder. Did he now feel betrayed that I was agreeing on going on a date with his friend, did he still have feelings for me or was he still embarrassed about what happened earlier? If it was because of the first, I would get angry. I was being clear with my intentions, and he, as I person I would expect to know me, _should_ know I have no feelings for his friend.

The other boys stared.

"Might be the fact that you're all over him." James piped in, his voice laced with bit of discomfort.

I shrugged not thinking much of it anymore. "I think he's cute."

The boys took turns to look at Peter and me. Remus spoke. "There isn't anything going on between you two?"

Remus' question caught me off guard and it made me realized something. Peter had not told them about his confession to me or my rejection. He had not. If he had, we wouldn't be having this conversation. And I had trouble trying to think of why. They were his best mates; his house and dorm mates, surely they had no secrets from each other. Or at least, that how I had seen it up until now. No wonder he was so quiet.

I shook my head, making way for silence to befall amongst us.

Sirius spoke up, slowly as if he was testing his footing with every word he said. His eyes were sorely on me, confused looking but also somewhat interested, I think. "So, you would say yes to going to Hogsmeade on a date with me? As friends of course, to win the bet."

"I'm not giving you the money. You're cheating!" There was a frown on James' face as he went to cross his arms.

"You have to."

"Moony!"

I thought for a moment that I was being too spontaneous and insensitive, but I pushed that away. "Sure! I'll go with you. I've never been to Hogsmeade before. And with ten galleons to spend!"

"You've never b-been to Hogsmeade?" Peter asked quickly looking at me with strange eyes.

The boys seemed curious to know just why I had never been to the village before, but I ignored them. I sat up instantly and grabbed my book bag, putting it to hang from my shoulder. I looked down at them with a smile. "You need a permission form for the trip right? I have to go talk to McGonagall about mine. We'll meet after breakfast, okay Sirius?"

And with that I left them all in the air, off to find Professor McGonagall, forgetting completely for the moment, about all the reading I had planned to do the following day.

. . .


	24. Chapter 24: Valentine's in Hogsmeade

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

 **AN:** Happy Valentine's Day to all of you my dear readers! As I promised last chapter here is this one the very next day! This chapter was very tedious to write, but I enjoy how it turned out. Finally the fic pairing sailed, but I advise all of you to not expect things to go fast from now on. Much of the plot and subplots of the story will pass before the ship reaches its port. If ya know what I mean. This is not to discourage anyone. It's the journey, not the destination.

Two more things: 1. This is the fic's longest chapter to date. 2. This is the first time I post twice on the same week. HOOOOOORRRRAAAAAYYYYYYY!

* * *

 **Chapter 24** : Valentine's in Hogsmeade.

"You've gone mental." Smugly warm in my cloak, Lily gritted her teeth as she stood next to me. She was dressed as cozy as me, but unlike me she had made a special effort for her date. There was no girl more pretty than her, with her wild red hair framing down to her back, as she looked at me trying hard not to glare. "I can't believe you're actually going through with this."

I ignored her, very aware that she was pacing to my side. She had been doing that since she got tired of waiting five minutes ago. After breakfast we had met by the doors of the Great Hall and we've walked together to the courtyard, where a large group of students of different years were waiting for permission to leave for Hogsmeade. I chose a stone half-wall to sit, and we were there when Uric Belby joined us. He and Lily exchanged some sweet words, and I expected them to leave when Filch came to lead the third years to the village. But they didn't. Lily insisted on staying with me until my date got there, and boy she was not happy that I had to wait even a second.

She went on. "Have you really not considered this to be a prank?"

"It's not a trick." I said for what felt like the hundredth time. I suppose I made the mistake of telling her too soon. When I went to Professor McGonagall's office to get my permission form, Lily was just exiting and she waited for me to go to dinner together. All was fine and dandy until I decided to tell her. Honestly, I didn't expect her to go ballistic at the news, though sure, I didn't think she would be too happy either. I tried to make her see the situation in our favor. I got money and she got to know that I got one over James. Win-win for the both of us. But no. She was not amused by any of it. The only reason she let the subject rest was because her dorm mates, Mary and Dorcas, had pulled her away from me after dinner so they could go prep for the next day. With a night of sleep, and the labor of getting beautiful bearing fruit, Lily was more level headed. She was still angry, but now she seemed to be trying to get me to my senses and not scolding me like a child.

"It's Sirius Black." There was an ultimatum in her voice, like it was supposed to be her heaviest argument.

Maybe I had been too impulsive with my decisions, the ones about agreeing to the date and telling Lily of it. Maybe it was a mistake. I knew the reputation that followed Sirius around, I had been well informed of it in my first weeks in Hogwarts, and hell I had experienced it secondhand various of times around school, but I didn't think of them when I took my decisions. I just went for it. The fact of the matter was that I didn't care enough to face the consequences and maybe I should have, if only to have Lily give the topic a rest. "We've been through this, Lily."

"Not enough." This time she went to stand in front of me, our little stand-off making eyes dart our way. Most of the people left in the courtyard, were students waiting for their dates, or students making their way out of school. I stared at the green fire in her face, and for a moment I felt my resolve weaken. I sometimes couldn't deal with their intensity. "You don't know him like I do Faraday. You've been here less than a year. You don't know how many girls he's been through."

"I told you this is just to win a bet."

She raised her hands to her hips, taping her feet on the ground, as she bit her lip in what I could only imagine was frustration. Looking away, Lily took a deep breath before returning to me. This time she was more calculating with her words. "As much as I enjoy any activity at Potter's expense, that's not leverage enough to get me to be alright with this. I don't trust Black."

I remained silent, because honestly I thought this had nothing to do with her. Sure, I appreciated her concern, enjoyed it even, but I made a choice and I was going to go through with it.

Lily tried a different approach, one that she hadn't used on me the night before. I was not too happy with this one and it took me a moment to prevent it from bothering me. "What about Peter? Haven't you considered this could hurt him?"

"Yes I have, but he's had more than a month to get over his feelings of me. And this _isn't_ a real date with emotions and stuff." I felt the need to state what I thought was the obvious. I had no feelings for no one, and this date wasn't any indication that it had changed. Peter knew my reasons if he had been listening to our conversation the night before, and in my eyes I'm pretty sure I made things clear with Sirius too. Whatever his intentions were with 'taking the bird in the white dress to Hogsmeade for Valentines', he should know now where I stand.

A few more minutes went by as we waited. "What if he stands you up?" Lily demanded out of nowhere.

"Give it a rest, wont you Lily?" Uric spoke up, the first words he had said since he got there. He had been mildly interested in what was happening between us, and he got the gist of it before Lily began berating me. Sitting on a close bench, he sighed as Lily turned her glare to him. He met her with patience and I was impressed that he didn't buckle under the intensity of green fire. "Look, here they come."

Raising his arm, he pointed to the door of the school. Sure enough, the Marauders came.

They took their sweet time walking toward us, James leading the pack with his disgruntled look, only this time in warm muggle clothing. They all wore them, and for a second I feared I might look too odd with witch robes. I didn't have any other type of clothing, aside the jumper Lily gave me, and my bellowing skirt clashed fashion-wise, but that thought evaporated away. We were going to an all wizard village that neighbored a school that taught witchcraft and wizardry, _they_ were the odd ones out in their muggle fashion.

My eyes landed on Peter as he came close with his friends, and I resisted the urge to feel awkward. There was no reason. I refused to let it bother me, even if I was in the wrong, but what I told Lily earlier was my main thought. More than a month had gone by, and all around it, I was extremely clear as to what my feelings were. The fact that he was a boy and I paid him special attention did not mean I fancied him.

There was no hostility in the Marauders as they stood in front of Lily and I, in a form of stand-off. James did his best to get Lily's attention, but her previous mood had not changed, heck it had gotten more territorial with their arrival. Remus gave me a smile, as Sirius took a step toward me. We regarded each other further, Sirius by my side. I smiled up at him too, and that seemed to disconcert him a bit. Lily on the other side of him said nothing as she stared at us, making a face. Why she was still there, I did not know, but since it was Lily I didn't mind at all.

I turned to James, holding up my hands together toward him. "Money please."

The boys snickered; even Peter couldn't help showing some teeth. That small act gave me peace of mind that at least as friends we would be fine.

James pouted, relenting after a push from Remus.

* * *

Once our group entered Hogsmeade, Sirius and I were left alone. Lily and Uric hurried away to whatever they intended to do for the visit, and Peter, James and Remus stalked off to fill their own schedule.

I felt the need to take in everything with just one look as I stood at Hogsmeade's entrance waving at them goodbye. The village, with its cottages and shops was a delight to the eye as it was filled with buzzing life. There were students all around the High Street, talking, running, looking through windows and entering buildings. There were throngs of witches and wizards, alone, in pairs or with their young children going about in their daily life. It reminded me of a less hectic version of Diagon Alley. I had only visited Diagon Alley two times since my arrival in the summer, and the first time I had been unconscious so it didn't really count, but the second had been such a marvelous affair. I was there for buying my school supplies, and though Dumbledore, who had accompanied me, gave me space and encouraged me to explore, I couldn't do much for lack of time.

"What do you want to do?" Sirius interrupted my train of thought, and I turned around to where I heard his voice. He stood behind me, waiting, a tall slim figure with a bored look on his face. That didn't bother me; it was his normal day to day expression. If he regretted his decision of having this date already, I couldn't tell nor did I care. I was planning on having loads of fun, and I considered Black lucky to have the honor of witnessing it.

"I want to go to a couple places. Lily wrote the names down." I fumbled with my cloak, trying to find the pockets of my robes. I felt around for the smooth, crispness of paper, and after I found what I was looking for, I handed him the parchment. "Here,"

Sirius took the paper, reading from it out loud. " _Get chocolate wands, Jelly Slugs and Sugar Quills in Honeydukes; make Black pay for them. See the Shrieking Shack; don't go in, no matter what that idiot tells you. Have coffee in Madam Puddifoot's. Tomes and Scrolls; for extracurricular or leisure_ _books, I recommend the Muggle fantasy section. Look around Zonko's; don't buy anything, they sell overrated rubbish, like your date._ " He was looking up to me from the parchment, holding it out as if he wasn't interested in it any more. "Evans sure has a sense of humor, doesn't she?"

"Leave her alone." I took the paper from his hand to finish reading from it. "And the last one is to have butterbeer in the Three Broomsticks. And I'll have the Hogsmeade experience in one day."

Making a face that made me assume that he thought my words to not be likely, he pushed his hands into his pockets as I contently looked at him, waiting. "So what do you want to do first?"

"I don't know. What do you recommend?"

"Let's do what Evans says. Honeydukes is this way." Shrugging as he spoke, he began to lead the way and I followed.

Last night, as I ignored the need to pull an all-nighter to read Dumbledore's books, I decided that I was gonna force my date into being a good one. I was excited for the visit to Hogsmeade, and I would be damned if I allowed Sirius Black to ruin it for petty reasons like awkwardness or his bored at everything attitude. I knew him to be a fun loving guy, sure, but that was with his friends, not me. Though I was pretty comfortable around him, even now as I followed him down the street to a very colorful shop, I barely knew the guy. In the times when I ended up hanging with the Marauders he barely talked to me, and when he did it was to comment uninterestedly about something I said. It wasn't anything bad of course, but it let me to form a plan for our betted date. To prevent my time from being soured or to keep him to be mislead, I decided I was going to treat him as I treated Lily. I thought about adding my dynamic with Peter to the plan, but that had gotten me a confession and mixed feelings from him, and the last thing I wanted to do was somehow end up with Sirius Black confessing to me.

So I would treat him like I did Lily, force myself into it if it was too hard and try to make the best of it. Who knows, maybe I'll end up being best friends with him.

Honeydukes was wonderful. It was crammed full with students getting sweets, but somehow still manageable. I grabbed lots of things as I went around. I didn't limit myself to just the ones on the list. My arms got piled with two boxes of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans, Cauldron Cakes, Chocolate Frogs and bags of Fudge Flies, crystallized pineapples, Nougats, peppermint toads and Wizochocs. I took some for Lily and Peter who were always sharing their treats with me. It was already high time for me to repay them. I dumped them next to the register when it was time to pay. They were bagged for me as I was told the total, and Sirius, who was standing next to me and I had completely forgotten that was with me, handed money to the man behind the register.

I pushed his hand away, but the man had already taken Sirius' money. "What are you doing? I have money!" I showed him James' galleons as I was holding them in my hand ready to be used.

He almost shrugged, "Evans told you to have me pay."

"But—"

"Too late, Nolan." He said as he grabbed my prepared bag of sweets and turned around to head directly to the exit. "Now to the Shack."

* * *

I wanted to be mad by the money spending I wasn't allowed to do, but as Sirius led me out of Hogsmeade, I forgot about it. We walked out the village up a slope, I was so interested in everything else; there was little point in thinking about milk that hadn't even been spilled. It took a while to get to the Shrieking Shack, and the climb up the hill tired me off. As we were reaching our destination, I saw a strange building looming and got the feeling of déjà vu.

"It's one of the most haunted houses in all of Britain." Sirius commented choosing a large dead trunk to sit on.

I remained put, unable to look away from the house. The house was creepy looking, with its strange crooked features, the boarded windows and the overgrown grounds. Behind it in the distance began the Forbidden Forest, as menacingly infamous as the house so close to it. "I've seen this place before."

"Have you?" I didn't understand Sirius' tone.

I didn't look back at him; my stare was transfixed on the Shack as I tried to pinpoint just why I felt that way. "Yeah, but I don't really remember when. It almost seems like an old dream."

Sirius was silent for a moment after I spoke. "We brought you here once." His words made me turn to him instantly, the first time I had looked at him since landing my eyes on the house. He still held my bag from Honeydukes, dangling it between his bent legs as he regarded me on his seat. "Back in December, on the full moon."

And just with that, the memories came back to me.

"Of course! I remember now. You guys were acting so strange, leading me to the house." The pictures in my mind were hazy, but then again, everything was hazy to me when it came to my time under the full moon's influence. But I could remember the werewolf going inside clearly. "Why though? Did you guy want to scare the life out of me?"

He shook his head. "It's not really haunted, you know. The Shrieking Shack is where Remus comes to transform, Dumbledore had it made for it. There's a tunnel under it that leads to school."

"Where's the entrance?" I smiled to mask my slight curiosity.

"Under the Whomping Willow." His words made me remember Christmas with Peter and the night he had tried leading me to the tree without never really telling me why he wanted to. So that's why. He had wanted to show off the Shrieking Shack to me. And much like the occasion with them in animal form, I had refused to go for reasons I couldn't quite explain with depth. That left me wondering. Sirius continued talking, his brow knotted. "Why didn't you follow us inside? You always follow us."

"I didn't want to." My ordinary answer made his eyes widen a bit, making me feel it might had been a strange reply. "Why did you guys want me in there, though?"

Sirius cleared his throat before speaking, the wait making me a tad curious again. I normally didn't think of what I did during the full moon, but since it was already under discussion, I couldn't keep myself form wanting to know, even if it was just for a little bit of information. "To try to figure out who you were. The plan was to go in the house; one of us would lead you in the tunnel, and change back and talk to you."

"You wouldn't have gotten anything out of me. I get so stoned I can't even recognize my own voice." My words made him smirk, and because of the absurdity of them, I did the same thing.

With that I continued looking to the house.

* * *

We entered Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop and there was a bell that announced our arrival on the door. The decorations caught my eyes instantly, and it was impossible for me to look at everything at once without inducing a headache that would put the ones I got while doing blood knowledge, to shame.

Everything was extravagant to points beyond reasoning, and they made Slughorn's Christmas party look like a humble affair by comparison. It was a small space to begin with, but it looked abysmally smaller with the more than a dozen round tables and even more chairs, decorated with lacy napkins, doilies and fine delicate china. There were golden cherubs over every table, hovering in their diapers bearing witness to all that happened. The shop seemed to be filled to capacity with teenagers from Hogwarts, many in the process of holding hands, looking sweetly into each other's eyes and kissing, but Madam Puddifoot's insisted on there being enough space for Sirius and I.

I looked around as I followed the owner with difficulty between tables in the overcrowded tea shop, Sirius closely behind me. At the other side where we were being led, sat Lily and Uric, huddled up together talking. Lily was just the girl I was looking for, and I stared hoping that she would feel me looking.

When her eyes met mine, I smiled and waved and she did the same, although not as enthusiastically as me.

When we took our assigned seats, and Madam Puddifoot had our orders, one of the golden cherubs hovering over our table went off, showering Sirius and I in pink confetti. I laughed at the whole ordeal cupping my hands to catch the pink papers. Others around me weren't as delighted. To the couple having their date next to our table, the confetti landed on their beverages, making the boy grunt exasperated as he fished them out. Sirius for one was shaking the papers from his shoulder length hair. I didn't have such problems, the pink confetti slipped off my pushed back hair and bun without me even having to shake my head.

Sirius drummed his fingers on his knees as a few minutes of waiting went by. The tables were so small, and his legs so long that his movement not only caused the whole table to vibrate, but also for his knees to scratch against mine. "Stop it."

The motions stopped instantly, as his attention was brought to me as I sat across for him. He gave me an apologetic look.

I watched as he stared around with that bored looking expression of his. It took another minute of waiting for me to yet again begin to feel minor vibrations from under the table. I felt Sirius shift his legs around, and with the lack of space one ended up pressed against one of my legs. I couldn't take the moving around anymore. "What's the matter?"

I saw him hesitate, looking at me. Was he considering not telling me anything, or was he considering telling me? Either way, I understood that he had every right to keep silent. We weren't friends. But he ended up speaking. "A couple of exes are giving me the stink eye."

Of course they were. "Which ones?"

"There, there," He went out to point five more different girls, all with dates. Sure enough, I saw their eyes dart to my date more than any of them would care to admit, I imagined. Their companions didn't notice anything, whether it was because they couldn't tell or they were so much in love, well I could only wonder. Some of them glared at me, too, and for a moment I regretted on going anywhere with Sirius Black. Then I remembered that I was already being used for fake rumors, and whether I wanted to or not, people saw me around school with him.

"You said a couple." I said to myself as I chuckled. Lily was right, he had been through a lot of girls and I only needed to look around the tea shop to see a score of them. With that I began to feel uncomfortable. "Alright, as soon as were done with the coffee, we leave."

There was relief in his face. He grabbed my closest hand in his, his eyes shining in that way that all the other Marauder's eyes shone the same with mischievousness. It was a trademark of theirs, I decided right then and there as I resisted the urged to instantly take my hand away before he spoke. "You are the best date I've ever had."

I squirmed my hand out of his, moving to point at him with it as an excuse to pull away. It was a good excuse and I went with it because a part of me wanted to be respectful and nice to him, and not show how bothered I was with the sudden action. "You can bet on that."

I didn't know if my words were really that funny, but in a second, the whole coffee shop was booming with Sirius' barking mad laughter.

* * *

We were coming out of Tomes and Scrolls after spending two hours in there looking through books, and I marveled at how so far we hadn't run into any of the other Marauders, not even on the street. Sirius was still carrying my Honeydukes bag, refusing to let me carry my own burden in the name of chivalry, he said. After the book store, he carried another one with two muggle novels I had decided on buying. This time Sirius didn't intervene to pay for me, and I felt good handing in my easily won money to the lady at the register. My mind went to Lily's letter, she had not written there for him to pay; however, I also had the thought that he was too sluggish to keep up. Not that I intended to let him pay for anything.

But no, he was laden with a bit of sleep in his eyes as we came out of Tomes and Scrolls because he had taken the time I took to browse to nap. I didn't think anything of it, I was glad for it for that meant leisure time for me to look around. Sirius sat in a corner when he got tired of my antics before half an hour from entering the store had gone by, whilst I read every title possible on the shelves. Anytime I went to check that he was still there, his head would pop up to look at me, having felt my steps. He would lay back down as if nothing disturbed him when I walked away to continue looking. It was funny, how much he mimicked the behavior of his dog form.

As we walked to our next destination, the Post Office caught my eye and I stopped to watch through its windows. The dozen upon dozen of every breed imaginable of owls was dazzling. I looked at each one, hoping that I had enough money to buy one of every kind. At that moment I decided that once I opened up my vault in Gringotts, the first galleons I would spend would be on an owl. So I could write to Lily and Peter without having to pay.

Involuntarily, I felt my head move back, and it took me a second to realize that someone was pulling on my bun. The twisted coil of hair at the back of my head didn't give away with the strain, and I slapped away the hand I felt had pulled me. I turned around to Sirius' nonchalant stare.

I glared. "That's was rude."

His shoulders went up and down with his lack of caring. "You're too slow."

"It's called being appreciative." I was angry for a few seconds, what right did he think he had by doing that? I should have given him a good chew, however I made the mistake of glancing at the owls again, and that evaporated. I was sad now that I had to leave. With what I can only describe as a forlorn look, I forced my eyes away from the Post Office's windows, and to the next store. "Is this Zonko's?"

Zonko's Joke Shop was as crowded as Honeydukes had been with Hogwarts students. There were jokes and tricks around the store, many brands names I remembered reading in Filch Banned Items list.

I passed around the racks and barrels of different sorts of items at a leisured pace with Sirius following awfully close in the filled store. I stopped to read a label and turned to the side to stare. I was looking at a barrel full of dungbombs, glaring at them more like it, and hating on the odor and all the baths in special potions I had to take to get smell off. I knew it wasn't their fault, but little would it do demanding anything from the four Gryffindors that had played the prank on my house. I tried not to glare at my date.

In my appreciation I heard the giggles of girls close by, and I turned around to watch a group of fourth years looking with dreamy eyes my way. For a second I wondered why, but then I remembered with who I was there with. I looked at Sirius, who was looking at them. He gave me the impression that he liked very much the attention he was getting. My suspicions were right when I saw him wink before turning back to me. I heard the girls shriek amongst them, and as my eyes met with his, I began to laugh to the absurdity of it all. I laughed at his smooth actions toward the girls, how they seemed to work magic and my mad decision on going on that date. "Oh so it's true, you are a flirt."

Sirius didn't miss a beat in replying, his face as normal as ever, not abashed or anything. "I prefer the term charming." With that, in a graceful wave of his arm, he pulled a flower from his coat's sleeve and presented it to me. "A flower for the lady, though its beauty is nothing compare to yours."

I scoffed, far from annoyed at the cheesy antics. I knew he was joking and recognizing the flower for one of the items they sold in that very store, I tried hard not to laugh. No wonder he had so many exes. He had more charm than Charms class. "Stop, I can't handle such flirting."

He threw the flower away without a second thought, a smirk on his face, and I followed as it landed on the barrel of dungbombs. "You know who can't handle flirts either? James."

"No!" I said amusingly playing into his words and ignoring the eyes we had on us after his last stunt. "I thought you were going to say Peter or Remus, but Potter? I would think he's up there with you in the shameless department."

"There is no one that can compare to me. Not even Prongs." He said with a smug shake of his head. "Try teasing him if you get the chance. He'll turn crimson."

When I turned away to look at what Sirius referred to 'kiddie toys', he insisted on giving me the Marauder tour of the best items for troublemaking. He began with the ones they used at the 'beginning of their carrier' and went on to the ones they used now. Though, after saying that he insisted that they used them sorely for harmless fun. I choose a couple of them as I went, all at the instruction of Black who knew them all by heart. Not that I planned on using any of them on anyone, not even the Frog Spawn Soap, although it would be fairly easy to just forget about it in the bathroom of my dorm. I offered to buy him anything he wanted, for I felt a tad bad that he had busied himself with giving me the tour around the store and had not gotten himself anything. He refused, claiming that Remus and Peter had a list with everything he wanted.

* * *

After leaving Zonko's, I got a bit chilly outside as the sky had filled itself with clouds. The thought of rain dampened my spirits, but Sirius insisted if it did pour it would be later when we were back in the castle. So we hurried to the Three Broomsticks to wait for the boys as we had intended at the start of the day.

Like all the other buildings, there were a lot of people lingering inside the tiny inn. Residents and students filled the room, and I even caught a glance of my Care of Magical Creatures teacher, Professor Kettleburn. I was following Sirius' broad back as he led us to an empty table at the back of the pub. As it was warm and smoky and filled with noise, I pulled off my cloak as soon as I could. "So this is where they sell the toastbeer."

"You mean butterbeer." Sirius corrected me. He put my bags under the table, indicating for me to sit on one of the bare seats.

"Sure that. How much is it?" I ask as I went to fish a bunch of knuts and sickles from my pocket that I had gotten as change. I sat for a moment as I looked, damning to hell that my robes were so large and therefore created too many folds of fabric. Lily had offered to lend me some clothes, but accepted my gentle rejection when she realized that action might entice Sirius. Not that her clothes were immodest, but she feared that the drastic change from wizard to muggle clothes might cause a reaction that she didn't approve off.

"A couple of sickles."

"O-ho I'll buy us a round now, and then another for the rest of the guys when they get here." I was very content with myself and my plan. Especially considering that I could use the gesture to pay the boys' thoughtfulness. Like Lily and Peter, the Gryffindor boys shared their goods with me no questions asked, and not expecting anything in-return. I had to pay it back somehow. I wanted Lily to appear around to, so I could get her something too.

Sirius waved his hand and it was then that I realized he hadn't sit down. He had remained standing. "Don't stress it. I'm paying for us."

"No, no. I'm treating you. What do you want?" I was counting what I had in my hand, but then I decided against it and handed him what I held. Not moving, and not taking what I offered, he made an annoyed looking face.

"We're on a date, Faraday. I'm supposed to pay."

"Says who?"

"Normal date etiquette?" He shrugged as he said it.

"This isn't a normal date. Besides you insisted on paying for all my treats." Now I was the one getting annoyed, though I think mine was of the more angry variety than his, but that didn't last. I closed my hand over my money, and stood, pushing my chair back to scrap on the floor. "I'm buying you a bloody drink. Now tell me what you'll like."

We had a staring contest for a moment, and I tried to invoke the kind of strength Lily dished out against Potter. It was harder with Sirius. James didn't have pools of magical grey waters to willingly drown you in. But, Sirius relented a second later. "I'll have a butterbeer too then."

I stood with a self-satisfied grin and went for the bar, glad that he hadn't made a fuss.

As I waited for the bar lady to give me my drinks, I realized that I had a fun date. I hadn't thought the date would be so good, and that I would enjoy Sirius' company. As much as I tried to ignore Lily's negative words, I did think of them once or twice. This date was a recipe for disaster in every aspect of my life, but so far it was great. If it caused trouble down the road, which I knew it would, so be it. I won bet money, I got to see James Potter's pouting face, I had a marvelous first visit in Hogsmeade, and I had a date with a fun person that was open enough so our day together wouldn't turn awkward. All was great.

I returned with two foaming mugs of hot butterbeer.

I was just finishing up my mug when the rest of the guys arrived and sat on our table. We had to squish together to fit on it, but once they settled, Peter went to get the boys a drink. I slipped two galleons unto his hand as he went. James and Remus settled on the other side of the table, as Sirius had moved himself and my bags to sit on my side. Potter eyed us, looking me over particular with what I felt was exaggerated detail.

"How's the date? Had fun spending my money?"

"It's been loads of fun." Sirius answered his mate with the same annoyed tone, James had used. "What about your stalking?"

"I hope you didn't ruin Lily's date with that." I said more of a treat than anything. Not that I would be able to do anything about it. There was no leverage I posed to use against him, as far as I could come up with that didn't have to do with his animagus form. To speak of that would be to get him and the other Gryffindors in horrendous trouble and I didn't want something so heavy in my conscience.

James didn't look at me as he spoke, he didn't really look at anyone. He set his gaze on the table, and softly uttered his words. "I don't even think she noticed me"

"Were they too busy snogging?" Sirius, though still sounding mocking to me, was more subdued this time.

James made a face of disgust.

"It looked more like an intense conversation." Remus commented in a thoughtful sounding tone.

That hung there between us, but if it was meant to be further discussed, it lost its time frame. Though, honestly, I had no intention of continuing to talk about my best friends' love life to teenage boys, one which happened to have a massive infatuation with her. Lily would hate me if I did, and that was not worth anything.

Carrying more drinks than he should have even brought, Peter deposited them in the table, managing to not spill a single drop. The boys grabbed their drinks as soon as they were placed down.

"Peter, what did you do today?" I asked as he sat to take a sip of his drink.

After that we had a couple more rounds together and spent in the Three Broomsticks the rest of the time we had allowed in Hogsmeade.

. . .


	25. Chapter 25: Slytherin vs Hufflepuff

**Disclaimer:** You know it.

 **AN:** I had a little help from my sister with a part of this chapter. I tried to blend her writing style with mine. Hope it's not too noticeable.

As always, thanks to all who have taken the time to read my updates. I'm having fun writing this fic.

Enjoy dear readers!

* * *

 **Chapter 25:** Slytherin vs. Hufflepuff

The wind howled and threatened to rock me off my feet, but as soon as I began to doubt gravity, I held on to Lily's arm.

We stood by one of the Quidditch pitch stairs, the one that led up to the Gryffindor stalls. It was a much anticipated match, the first to start a new season, and it was particular exciting for me and my housemates for the fact that it was our Slytherin team that would be playing. The common room had been busting with excitement for a whole week, and it was inevitable that I would catch on to it too. The Prefects of my House anticipated a win, and therefore had been planning the victory celebration for days. No one in their right mind dared to question their logic, there was no reason to do it. We were going to win. I got bit by the bug too, how could I not when I was looking forward to the match so much. I saw the Slytherin team play once in the last season and I had been beyond amazed. So the morning of the game, I wore my green and silver colors with pride, prepared to root till the end for the Slytherin team.

After I had been done with breakfast, I waited for Lily and her friends so we could walk together out into the grounds. A week had gone by since Valentine's Day, and though things weren't very good for me socially with strangers, the Gryffindor girls seemed to be okay with me. Especially when I was willing to answer all their questions about my date with Sirius Black with juicy details. That helped. When only Lily emerged, I was silently glad. Sometimes I couldn't deal with the amount of energy needed to be a part of a group of chatting girls. We made our way, talking of whatever had happened since the last time we saw each other, that only happened to be earlier the previous day.

Of the events that happened to Lily after I had last seen her, she made sure to talk in detail, going into a heated re-telling of current events with her boyfriend, Uric Belby. Under fat clouds, Lily explained to me how she thought Uric was hiding something from her, and how the thought of it being an infidelity angered her to extremes that she hoped she could control. I said some words of encouragement along the lines that she might be overreacting and that Uric didn't seem like that kind of guy. However, my input was just the kind girl would tell her friend, and it was marred with naivety, both because I would say anything to get her spirits up and because I barely knew the guy. Sure, I spent enough time with him, and he seemed an okay boy to me, but we weren't anything close.

"Hey Faraday, Lily!" We knew who yelled out our names, there was only one person in the castle that would dare do it, simply for the fact that he could. Lily didn't turn to look, but I did, and unsurprisingly, I saw as James strutted our way with Sirius and Peter, passing a hand through his hair, and messing every strand of it that he found.

"He called me Lily." Lily gritted her teeth setting her glare to a spot behind my left earlobe. She was already in low spirits, and adding James Potter to the mix didn't make anything better.

"Yeah, that's your name." I said as I nodded, looking at the approaching boys with a smile on my face.

She made a sound between a scoff and a chuckle.

I greeted the boys as they went to stop in front of us with a wave on my hand. Dressed with their bright red and gold house colors, their robes seemed to stand out, as if they were charmed to do so. I didn't put it pass them to had enchanted their house colors as a form of rivalry against a Slytherin Quidditch match.

Peter came to stand closer to me, as he always tended to do when we met. It was something I would do too. Or we stood side by side or sat next to each other. I patted his arm in a special sort of greeting. I hadn't seen him the day before, and I was a bit curious to know what he had been up to, but with Lily there that wouldn't be good. Potter looked too smug for his own good as he whispered something to Sirius next to him, and asking about their adventures in front of her would cause an argument to break out.

I knew the reason I hadn't seen Peter the day before was because they were up to no good. I could see it in his exhilarated expression. Peter was far too easy to read and he looked like he wanted nothing more than to tell me something. Put one and two together with the Gryffindor boys and you always would get Marauder trouble.

I watched Lily glare particularly at Sirius. She was still not happy that he had fallen asleep during our date, even when I insisted it was the best thing he could do while I browsed Tomes and Scroll. Better him napping, than waiting behind my shoulder. But she insisted on it being an insult, and part of me figured it was just to use something negative to hate on him. When I told her everything that happened on the date, she at one point admitted that it wasn't as bad as she had thought, and she gritted her teeth in that way of hers, admitting that should it had been real, I would had ended up with a great first date. It was the stubborn in her that refuse to let the matter drop, no matter how many times I begged her for it.

She wasn't happy of the shade I was getting from my roommates after the whole date thing either. Any Sirius Black topic spread like wildfire in Hogwarts, so it was no surprise at all when I got to my dorm after coming back from Hogsmeade to an interrogation. Gemma was the ringleader, as she was with most things, and Mafalda, Gertrude and Hestia followed like little loyal minions. They put me under the spotlight, asking question after question, demanding things they had no right to demand, and now instead of doing their usual ignoring, they went out of their way, making sure I knew they hated me.

And I'm sure it was mostly because of Gemma. She was the one that not-so-secretly fancied Sirius. I'm not even sure if she hated on me because I went on a date with him or because I'm from her house. I once heard her say something along the lines that the only reason they had never dated was because he refused Slytherins.

When the boys made no inclination to keep moving, and we just stood there looking at each other awkwardly, Lily gave me some excuse of finding a good spot to watch the match, and with not a word uttered to the boys, went up the stairs to the stalls. I watched her go up, and when I turned around to face the boys again, I noticed that I had not been the only one. James grimaced once she farther away, scratching his untidy head in a frustrated manner.

"Why does she always run away from me like that?" James whined.

Sirius made what looked like a fake-thoughtful expression. "Maybe you smell?" He offered, pushing James gently with his shoulder. Peter covered his mouth to stop himself from laughing by my side. Black was obviously joking, but judging by Potter's sudden change in expression, he didn't quite get it. And it made me wonder if James was always like that or only when it had to do with Lily Evans.

"I do not!" He said puffing up his chest. Though he said it with his usual pompous confidence, he still turned to me with an eager look on his face. "Do I smell, Faraday?"

I decided to play along with Sirius' prank. I knitted my eyebrows together and sniffed around James edging toward him, getting closer to him than I should have dared. Then I nodded. His face fell almost instantly and I almost lost my hold over myself.

"I do?" He asked looking sadder than I've ever seen him. James grabbed his robes and moved them around as if he was airing them out. I was about to end the silly charade before Potter's confidence lowered, because honestly, it kind of hurt my heart to see him like that, but I remembered what Sirius had told me at Hogsmeade. I wanted to see for myself if he had told the truth.

I shook my head then smiled at him brightly. "You smell as good as you look today."

My words hit him like a ton of bricks, and it took a lot from me to not burst out in maniacal laughter. His eyes instantly widened, and he stilled as if he had been frozen in time. Sirius howled with laugher, and I abandoned my pretenses to join him in full. Just as he had said it would, James face had just turned pure crimson. Peter caught on with the joke, and was wheezing next to me as I tried hard to keep air in my lungs. If my memory served me right, it was probably the first time I had laughed that loud amongst the boys. James turned to Black with a puzzled look, fueling his laugher tenfold, making Sirius double over with his hilarity.

I looked over at Sirius, when I had control over myself. He winked at me in a response that I supposed was to doing a good job embarrassing his best mate with flirting. Then he faced James, who knew he had something to do with what I had said. With his embarrassment, James jumped at Sirius, pushing him around angrily in what looked more like playing than actual fighting.

They continued on their mock fight, as they were watched by nearby students walking to the pitch. Peter turned to me, back to normal. "Are you sitting with us, Faraday?"

"Of course not." I said almost instantly, and maybe too loud for it made the fighting boys stop what they were doing and look my way. Peter's gaze was on me too, a bit embarrassed over himself. I shrugged at them, sighing as I went.

"Y-You make it sound like it's obvious." Peter choked out, looking down at the floor.

"It is obvious." I said a tad too much like a scoff, so then I patted my friends arm so he wouldn't think I was intentionally trying to be mean to him. That was the last thing I wanted Peter to think, but I had priorities for the day and I had to make them clear. "It's Slytherin against Hufflepuff. Why would I sit with the Gryffindors? I do have House pride."

James jumped back into his normal self and completely turned to face me. I hadn't noticed when his brawl with his mate had ended, but now they stood in their original spots across from me, as if nothing had happened a second before. "Surely you'll be on our side when we play next game, right?"

I almost shrugged as I contemplated his words. "Which team would you be facing? Hufflepuff too?"

"If they lose." Sirius cut in, as normal as his friend.

"They will." I said throwing my Slytherin scarf over my shoulder to make a point, not because I particularly had a chill. "Next game, I'll cheer you on, Captain. Where's Remus, anyway?"

"Not here." Sirius said, hands in his pockets. His answer seemed evasive and I took it as a sign not to bother asking for more. I didn't need to know everything they did. I was too involved with their little group already, no need to go further in.

"Yes, thank you for that explanation. I'll be leaving now." I said turning around without waiting for a reaction.

I was among the last to arrive at the Slytherin stalls, and it wasn't long until the game should begin. Standing amongst a group of first years, Graham waved for me to join him and his friends when I got there. We cheered as loudly as possible as our team took to the air. Circling around the Quidditch pitch on their brooms, the Slytherin team was met with our ovations.

Just as the Slytherin and Hufflepuff teams were gathering to the middle of the pitch to start the game, a roar interrupted the Captains' hand shake. Heads turned all around the spectators stalls, and after another roar, we found the perpetrators of such a rude interruption.

I could barely see right to the other side of the Quidditch pitch, but if I were to guess, I would say that all the Gryffindor students were laughing or smiling. That made me wonder, but not for long. They stood out; they always did, but even more considering that they were the only spectators holding out a huge red and yellow banner off the edge of the stall. James, Sirius, Peter and even Remus, held on to the top edges of the banner, screaming something. There was much commotion and chatter going on, both from the other houses and my own. Only that the Slytherins weren't as amused as the other students.

'Lions with badgers' it read, with drawings of said animals coming to life in the banner. The lion roared again, majestically enchanted to give support to its badger friend. So that's why Remus had taken longer to join his friends.

Though a bit hurt, I laughed at their theatrics. I did enjoy their idiocy from time to time, even at my House expense. But only in small doses.

* * *

"Congratulations on your win. That last dive was amazing!"

Regulus accepted my compliment with an elegant nod and a smile. Still wearing his Quidditch robes, he inclined his head again when I left his side, as someone else had stepped forward to give his congratulations. I wanted to do the same to the rest of the team, but I had no idea if they would be as gracious as Regulus, so I didn't try.

The common room had been dressed for the victory party, our green and silver shining brightly all around. The Prefects had made sure to prepare well for the occasion, and with what I could gather looking around, there was a good atmosphere.

For a moment I appreciated the thought of going into my dorm, but I imagined that wouldn't sit well with anyone. I wasn't liked by many of my house, and if I left it would be seen as an insult to our team, who had put our names so high. Therefore, instead of hiding in my dorm, I went to get a drink, both to not seem weak, and to avoid Gemma and Mafalda, who were particularly standing close to the door to the dorms. I could feel Gemma's glare on me, even on the other side of the common room, and I had no intention of making things worse.

I grabbed a glass goblet, its intricate design mirroring the sweet taste of its contents. I wasn't one that enjoyed much alcoholic beverages, but wine held a special place in my palate. With another sip of it entering my system, I decided to sit down in a nice quiet place, where my attendance would be ignored.

And who should I stumble against one step away from the beverage table, but the one person that hated me the most in the damn school.

Lorcan Mulciber smiled down at me, in that way that only he did to only me. It made me instantly regret all the choices I had done in my life that let up to that moment. My stomach churned at his presence, and by Merlin I wanted nothing more than to run away. He stood too close for comfort, like he always did. He held a goblet in his hand, much similar to the one I had, and should it also contain the same contents, well, things would be getting bad fast. Things always went bad fast when Lorcan was involved in my life. Holding on to every bit of my desperation, less it would strip me bare; I tried not to look into the eyes that looked at no one but me, as I was regarded in a way that made me tighten my grip on my goblet.

"Did you enjoy the match?" His voice was laced with all the sophistication of his station and he waited patiently for my answer.

I moved my head slightly in the resemblance of nodding.

"Then shall you and I celebrate?" At his words, I made the mistake of looking at him. I always made that mistake. He still sported that charming smile of his, a twisted snarl of an expression that would make any predator feel shame. Pointing at his goblet with his free hand, he made a motion with it toward my cup. It was an offer, an invitation for me to click my goblet against his in celebration, but I would be damned before I did anything he wanted. I ignored his request, taking a step to the side with the full intention on getting the heck out of there.

He merely mimicked my move, making my inconspicuous escape impossible. "Just have one drink with me Nolan."

"No." I hissed, trying hard to not get the attention of those that stood and sat close to us. It was no use, the combination of Mulciber and I was like a magnet to prying eyes. Especially since Lorcan never took rejection well, and it was always a sight to behold. For me, it was truly terrifying.

"I'm sure you wouldn't say no to _Black_." The venom in his voice left no room for me to question which Black he was talking about.

I looked away from him; how I managed it, I don't know. "That doesn't concern you."

I heard a low grow of frustration coming out of him before he grabbed my upper arm. It was a sudden motion, one that tensed me to oblivion and woke in me a fear that only Lorcan Mulciber could wake, for he was its maker and master. The force moved me, shook me and shocked me, and in the impulsiveness of the situation, my hand lost hold of the goblet I grasped. Like a sharp, deafening prelude to the horrible confrontation that I knew was to take place, the goblet shattered to pieces between my feet, the shards colliding with the hem of my robes and shoes. The loud bang made many heads turn in our direction, but how many I couldn't really see. I was stuck, trapped in the coil of the cruelest snake I knew, and his hold was unbreakable. There was nothing more for me but to look at his eyes as he brutally held on to my arm, bringing me close to his body. The fire of hell burned brightly in his eyes, whatever beauty that was in their green color gone.

The words rolled down his tongue, more vicious and wounding than anything else he had ever said or done to me. "You be sure you don't soil this House, _slut_."

There were several gasps in the vicinity and it was only then that I realized we had the attention of the entire common room.

Lorcan released me, but my arm still screamed with the lingering feel of his hold on me. He faced me, urged me with his expression to react, to do anything, but I could only stand there petrified. I was hurt, the kind of hurt I hadn't felt since September, and the stares didn't help. I could feel them all looking, judging, waiting for me as eagerly as Mulciber did. At that moment I looked around. I only saw a score of stares, yet what reflected back at me was not pleasant. They weren't pleased with what they saw, and that was strictly me. The kept on looking, witnessing, and whispering to each other, ever waiting.

My eyes went back to Lorcan, to the challenge that he demanded with his stare. There was nothing more than I wanted to do but to run away, but I was stuck in that spot, under his gaze, facing his twisted grin.

If I remained I would be answering his challenge, and if I did that wands would at some point be drawn. If I didn't, if I left, I would be doing so as a wounded animal. And one look at Mulciber was enough to know which decision he wanted me to take. He had remained posted, looking down at me in that perverse way of his. He wasn't walking away; he wouldn't, because he knew no one would help me. That was the worst thing, the worst insult. Lorcan knew I would never rise to his challenge, I never did. But Lorcan also knew that the only reason that he hadn't dragged me through hell again yet was because someone always stepped up to help me. Regulus, Lily, hell even Gemma had saved me from utter humiliation. Not this time though.

No one would step in. We knew that. And all that was left was for me to run off like a wounded animal.

And I did just that.

. . .


	26. Chapter 26: Faraday and the four knights

**Disclaimer:** I own a bottle of nail polish.

 **AN:** I've hit a couple of inconsistencies in this chapters and I decided to brush them off with a couple of acknowledgement sentences. If Faraday seems a bit hypocritical to you then I'm sorry. My intention is to write her as real as possible, but sometimes I get mentally stuck on how to do it. Plus, plot holes are easy to fall into.

This chapter turned out much, muuuuch longer than I anticipated. More than 5,400 words, including this author's note **.** My intention when I started writing this fic was to do as I pleased, and write a bit or a lot per chapter, depending on how I felt. However, as anyone might notice now, I've gotten very carried away with myself. Sometimes I look at the plot I have written for the chapter and I think to myself that I could probably write 7 or 8 pages with it. Then I end up writing ten, like it was the case with this one. It's tiresome most times, but I love writing this fanfiction.

Enough of this!

I hope you all enjoy this chapter, dear readers; I've labored over it for a week and still delivered it a day late. Leave a review if you have the time, and cross your fingers so I might post on time next week **.**

* * *

 **Chapter 26:** Faraday and the four knights

I wasn't one to cry.

I tried desperately not to do it, less I be consumed by it. Back before September finally decided to end, I would cry all day and most of the night. I would cry over my text books, I would cry when given homework, while doing it and when I handed it in. I cried under my covers in the morning after waking up, and I would cry under them again before falling asleep. My life during the last weeks of my first month in Hogwarts was an endless parade of runny noses and wet cheeks.

Everything affected me. My work load, classes, my classmates, housemates and Lorcan Mulciber, all of them put together made me a walking wreak, completely devastating the image that was drawn for me of what would be my life in school.

It took a lot of self-motivation and the emerging effects of the coming of the October moon to get me over everything. One day I didn't cry, and then another and another, until I managed to get my emotions to a comfortable state in which I could work in peace. It was hard, sometimes I couldn't keep a couple tears from escaping me, but for the most part I was damn proud to be able to hold it together. What happened with Lorcan Mulciber at the party for the Slytherin team was a catalyst. A special devastating event, which shook me to the core, and forced me to lose what little control I liked to keep over myself.

I hid under the cover of my bed, the curtains drawn around me, yet I still felt exposed. None had followed me when I made my escape to my dorm, and no one entered it for long hours. I was left truly alone. And it was in that moment, that I cried. There was no stopping it, as soon as I had my face buried in my pillow, I unleashed a torrent of hot frustrated tears and for the longest time I didn't think I would be able to stop.

I hated Lorcan. I truly felt I did. For the life of me I couldn't force myself to point out the problem between us. I tried to find it, as I cried because of him, but I always led myself empty corners. Was everything my fault for allowing him to step over me? Should I have tried to put a stop to him, either by fighting him or going to a teacher? A teacher, not even Dumbledore could help me in this situation. My bully lived in my own house, and his family had enough influence to keep him in school even if I revealed to all my status as a descendant of the legendary Merlin. What's more, I once tried fighting him, to go against him and that had landed me in St. Mungo's and as walking pariah to all Slytherins.

My eyes were dry when I woke up the next day, after a restless sleep with nightmares of secret smiles and wayward kisses. They hurt when I forced them to open, even in the darkness of the cocoon my bed curtains made. As I laid there I had the thought of crying some more when I realized that in a short hour or two I had to face people. That was the worst of it. I could deal with my emotions, I would try to have them in check in a couple of days, but facing the stares of those who had witness my disgrace was more stressful to me then what actually happened.

For a moment I wished I could Apparate from my bed to my seat in class, so I wouldn't have to do the walk of shame in my House. But I had yet to start the Ministry taught Apparition classes. Plus, I knew that it would be impossible inside of Hogwarts, so that foolish thought got me nowhere.

An hour went by before I heard my dorm mates begin to stir.

I hid under the covers as the girls got ready for their day. I was motionless, tensed under my blankets, trying hard to give off vibes that I was asleep. Not that any of them would be able to tell, with the curtains around me. They were silent, no normal chatter, and that was driving me insane.

But my desperation reached an end when Hestia spoke, whose voice interrupted the tensed silence. Her voice sounded closer to my bed than I would have liked. I remained as unmoving as I had been since they awoke, listening. "Do you think she's asleep?"

"I don't care." This was said by no one other than Gemma, and it wasn't surprising at all. Though it still kind of hurt. "And you shouldn't care either."

Hestia made a sound I couldn't understand. "Still, to be called _that_ in front of everyone."

"It was crude of Lorcan, I'll admit." Mafalda said her voice coming from the left of my bed, where she slept.

"For all we know it could be true." Gemma threw what I could only assume where shoes on the ground, the mattress of her bed next to me creaking as she probably sat down. Her lack of caring about me wasn't a surprise, but in my state it made everything worse. "Always running after them. I've seen her with them, you know during my patrols, coming out of empty classrooms in the middle of the night."

"Why haven't you reported her to Professor Slughorn, then?" Mafalda's voice was laced with the same curiosity I was beginning to feel. My body and mind ached, but I made no sound. I wanted to know what Gemma would say, if she said anything.

"He'll tell McGonagall. And that would only cause a scandal for our House. I'm not an idiot." She scoffed loudly. Half a moment went by before she spoke again. To me she seemed exasperated, annoyed that she had to waste her time talking about me and what she said didn't put me at ease one bit. "Lorcan never lets me, though."

"What does that mean?" Gertrude hadn't said a word, but apparently she was part of the conversation now.

"He forbids me and the rest of the Slytherin prefects from punishing her." Gemma's revelation, though surprising somewhat, wasn't that big of a deal for me. It made sense in a way. Not once had I been caught in my nightly strolls to and from the House, and I guessed that it had to do with my routines not match up with Mulciber's patrol time. "After the incident in the Society, he insisted on being the only one to chastise her."

Not once had he done that. He liked to torment me regularly and more than once I would catch him leering my way, but I had yet to be caught or received detention or the sort.

"So you told him about Faraday in the empty classrooms with the Gryffindors?"

Gemma answered with attitude, angry for some reason. "Are you daft, Hestia? Of course I didn't tell him. If I had, last night would have been ten times worse."

That stilled the moment. I tried to think of an instance in which things would had been ten times worse as Gemma said, and it wasn't hard to think of a situation. Hell, I didn't even need to come up with something. All I needed to do was remember my last attendance to the Slytherin Dueling Society and I had the perfect example of a faceoff with Lorcan Mulciber that could be a hundred times worse.

"Why does Lorcan insist on tormenting her?" Gertrude spoke up again. "They used to be so close. I thought they would be together—"

I had enough of eavesdropping on them. Their conversation was edging toward turbulent waters and I would not have them discussing me or Mulciber anymore. I grunted, loudly, as I made a point to turn in my bed so they would hear my movements between my blankets. It did the trick. The girls didn't say anything else, and appeared to hurry to leave.

When a few minutes went by without a sound in the dorm, I untangled myself from the blankets, and pulled away my curtains. The bright green light shinning in the room was a bit comforting. Its gentle rays did not hurt me, and it gave me the strength to climb off my bed to head to the bathroom. I worked my way around my morning routines, not really paying attention to what I was doing. I normally didn't give much thought to getting ready for school, so before I knew it I was brushing my hair in front of a mirror.

I caught my reflection in it and I was unsurprised that what I saw didn't seem different from what I normally saw. After what had been a horrible event, and a night of frustrated crying, my appearance was pretty much the same as always. I had angry bags under puffy red eyes, my skin looked washed out and my hair was a wavy mess that refused to let itself be tucked behind my ears.

Pulling my long hair back to twist it up into a bun, I tried to find hope in the brownness of my eyes, warmth that I for the moment didn't feel.

My eyes tingled, and for a second I saw how they began to shine with what promised to be another crying session. As soon as my throat began to hurt, and my cheeks splotched red, I shook myself as violently as I could in front of the mirror.

"That's enough." I said to my reflection, pushing pass my innate desire to ignore my own words.

I walked out the bathroom to put on my outer school robes, but instead of grabbing my things I just sat on the edge of my bed. There was no pain of hunger, and therefore no real need to leave the dorm so soon. No need to do the walk of shame yet.

I decided on skipping breakfast and leaving only for my first class. As much as I wanted to do nothing, for even a look toward my pile of unread books didn't cause a reaction in me, I was not intending to skip class. Not wanting to keep my steady pace of catching to the curriculum was something I didn't feel proud off, but skipping a whole class and therefore falling behind was an atrocious idea. I sat, contemplating life and Lorcan Mulciber. I figured that the best choice of path was to over think my problems in the solitude of my dorm, so that latter when facing the world, they wouldn't incapacitate me. Or so those problems wouldn't be easy to see.

The Slytherins knew what happened, there was no escaping them, but if I could keep Lily from knowing it would be a great thing. Sure, I wanted to tell everything to my best friend, vomit my every thought and emotion for her to give me her comfort and understanding. However, I knew Lily, and though she would give me all the peace of mind I could demand of her, she would also urge me to fight. And when I would refuse, she would take it upon herself to punish those who tarnished my honor.

It's not that I didn't think she held a chance against Mulciber, truth be told I knew Lily could deal with him, but I didn't want her to. I didn't want to plague her with my problems, even when she would claim otherwise. Therefore, I tried to get every thought done with in my mind, so when the time came to see her, she wouldn't be able to tell there was something wrong with me. It would be better if I didn't see her, but evading her wasn't a thing I wanted to do. If I evaded Lily, I would have to evade Peter and his friends, if not she would get angry with me. Meeting Peter wouldn't be too bad. He wasn't as perceptive as Lily. I might be able to get away with my shitty situation. The problem was the other guys. James and Sirius in particular. I don't know what I would do if either of them found out. Would they care? Would it even matter? One thing I knew was that if they knew what happened and cared, they would start a war.

When I had enough of fighting the tears away and two hours had passed I headed out for class, to Care of Magical Creatures.

The way there was a weight on my shoulders, though I was blessed with the fact that the common room was empty when I went through it. Ignoring Merlin with a fast 'good morning' and an excuse of being late, I dragged my feet to the edge of the Forbidden Forest where Professor Kettleburn was gathering with a few Slytherins and Ravenclaws waiting for class to begin. I wasn't the last one there thankfully, but I still got showered with attention. Mostly from the girls of my dorm that took the class. Gertrude and Mafalda eyed me in a way that made me feel like I was being criticized. I tried to appear as normal as possible, and for the most part I believe it worked. Thinking of my problems in detail earlier cleared my mind somewhat, and facing a couple of Slytherins didn't undo me. I would be alright.

Class passed slowly, and I had my share of trouble with a porlock I was supposed to brush in an attempt to domesticate it. The two feet tall little horse-thing wanted nothing from me. I wanted nothing from it too, and it made me happy when the Professor called the class to an end, meaning I could tuck the horse away. I was the last to leave, slugging up the grounds alone toward the castle doors.

As I went up, the wind threatened my walk, and I stopped to gather myself. The matter did help my state of mind. I stood there fighting the urge to declare everything in my life unfair and accept the notion of living under a rock. But that was me exaggerating. My social life was bad, yet nothing else was. I had a place to live, food to eat, friends to talk to, things to do and a future. As soon as I controlled my crying, all nasty thoughts left me to allow me to continue my return to the castle.

I looked up to the doors I knew I was reaching, and Peter was standing there. He waved at me as he finally caught my eye, urging me to hurry up to him.

Things would have been more than fine if it was just Peter the one there. I could deal with my emotions more naturally with just him there, but no, the three other Marauders were there too. Now I had to keep myself in check in front of four people. Great. Hopefully they wouldn't notice.

James threw his eyes my way vaguely, nodding at me in that charmingly arrogant way of his as he spoke something among his friends. By his side, Remus looked ghostly pale, sick with the soon arrival of the full moon. He tried to hide it behind a smile, but he had a face that seemed to want nothing more than to lay down in a bed. His visual discomfort with his condition meant the moon was only a couple days away, and for a second I was actually excited for it. With the freedom of the full moon, with the awakening it did to my truer self I could cope with my feelings. Just as I had done before. Things seemed fine for me as I walked toward the Marauders, until I saw Sirius standing next to Remus.

I looked at Sirius, and how he smiled lazily at me in greeting. I hadn't thought of him. Mulciber had used his name in his vicious attack to make me feel horrible and in turn it made me feel bad that he had been used in such a way. The urge to cry returned, every hurtful memory of the previous day coming back tenfold. As I looked at Sirius, I held no desire in my heart to hold him accountable for what happened. I knew that wasn't right, to shift the blame to someone innocent. It was my entire fault for doing whatever I pleased without thinking of the consequences. Sure, one would imagine that I as a person should be free to do a harmless thing like going on a date with a friend, but no. It wasn't my fault either what I suffered, though. But I should have thought of the consequences before I acted, before I accepted the bet and went parading in Hogsmeade with Sirius Black. Whichever way, it wasn't fair for me to hold even a tiny ounce of bad thoughts toward Sirius. All he had been to me so far was nice, and he didn't deserve to be badmouthed just to hurt me. None of the guys did. They were my special guys, my pack.

The one to blame was only Lorcan Mulciber.

And thinking of the name unleashed the emotions I had been trying to keep in check all morning. I reached Peter, who stared at me. Whatever he saw in me and my expression, I don't know for I myself didn't notice. Walking between the Marauders I jumped on Peter, holding on to his shoulders for dear life. Somehow I felt that everything would be a little better if I did.

So much for my plans of them not knowing. Way to go me.

My leap on Peter sure got everyone's attention. I had participated in only a handful of hugs since my arrival in the summer, and most of them had been from Lily, but this one, I did't know I need it. The comfort of it was what I craved, a feeling that I refused myself when I decided on not telling Lily or anyone else of what happened.

"Thank you for being here, Peter." I said sorely into his ear, words meant only for him. He was the one that liked to meet up with me in the gates to school, and I hadn't realized just how much I needed a friend. My voice cracked when I spoke, and it made me cringe at my own pathetic ways, but it didn't matter. The last person I would be embarrassed to seeing me like that was Peter and he was nothing but understanding always for he in turn, held me tighter.

"Faraday?" The worry on Peter's voice destroyed my resolve of keeping my cheeks dry. The frustration my situation made me feel was too much. I had my face half buried on Peter's shoulder, so when tears began to come out my eyes, they didn't go unnoticed.

Opening my eyes between tears, James' face was inches away from mine, as he hovered behind Peter, trying to figure out what was up with me. I could see clearly into his hazel eyes, and after a moment of uncertaincy, his face laced itself in that somber expression of his that I didn't like to deal with simply for the fact it was way too serious from his normal looks.

"What happened?" His voice was precise and nonnegotiable as he leaned back to his normal stature.

Peter tentatively let go of me, I couldn't see his eyes clearly behind the blur of my tears as I pulled away, but I knew he was looking at me. They all were and I cursed myself. I was supposed to keep things a secret, not bring their dedicated attention to my issues. I felt a hand on my shoulder, bringing me out of my momentary self-loathing, it was Remus. His touch sent a spark down my body, and in a sense it was a surge of energy. I could feel his affliction calling out to my blood. It was the first time he voluntary touched me in his human form, a sign of support and a plea for an explanation that went into every ounce of blood in my body.

Sirius just stood by, his face set into a frown as he looked at no one but me.

My eyes dried up, the spurge of the moment gone, and in its wake I felt empty. I knew I made a mistake drawing attention to myself. I knew I should have kept the secret, but I wasn't able to. I couldn't say anything to James as he waited. As they all waited for my explanation.

"Who do we have to kill?" That was Sirius. He looked away from me as he pressed his hands in the pockets of his trousers, his opened robes bellowing back with the force of the wind.

"We're not killing anyone." Remus took his hand away, facing Black as the rest of us stared at him.

Sirius turned to his friend, surprising me with his annoyed intensity. It reminded me of the expression he gave me that time we met when he was not pleased of me being a Slytherin. But his words were sweet and they frightened me. They reminded me of the reasons I had chosen not to go to Lily with my problems. "Someone made our Faraday cry, and that someone deserves death."

"And I agree completely Padfoot, but we're not going to commit murder." Remus was always the most sensible and logical of the group. One would think that Sirius had been joking about the killing thing and that his closest friends would know when he was joking. Remus' answer didn't give me any peace of mind. There was no joke in this situation, and none of the Marauders seemed to consider it, like I did. Lupin shook his head, looking around at the little group we formed. "I'm sure we will come up with an alternative."

The declaration that they would be doing something chilled me to the bone.

"All we need is a name, then." James' unwavering eyes were on me, expectant and full of fire, a subdued version of what I believed would be an asseveration of Lily's possible reaction. Maybe I was assuming too much. "Come on Faraday, tell us."

"Who made you cry?" This was said by Peter, softly as he placed a hand on my forearm.

I wanted to blurt out the name just for the satisfaction of knowing that Mulciber would very much suffer humiliation in the same degree that he made me feel, but I couldn't. That wasn't the way to go. Saying the name would only lead to more questions. I would have to explain my history with Lorcan, and that would reveal secrets I didn't want anyone to know yet. Plus, this was my problem. I made plans all morning while trying not to cry about what I wanted to do and they all dealt with me not telling anything, hiding every feeling, and pretending to be fine.

I shook my head, both to bring me back to my normal senses, and to say no to them. Somehow, I felt like I could go against them, unlike what I thought with Lily. Lily Evans was a force to be reckoned with and I couldn't go against her. But the Marauders were a different matter. It was easier for me to say no to them. "Thanks boys, but if it comes to a kill, I have to be the one to do it."

I had no real desire of ever facing Lorcan Mulciber. However, the guys didn't need to know that. Peter, James and Remus gave me small smiles, understanding that it was a mechanism for me to not talk. Sirius, on the other hand, full-sized smirked at me. "There's no shame in asking for assistance. If you need help with the body ,you can count on me."

"You'll start a war if we let you." James said smacking Sirius upside the head.

Massaging his bruised spot, Black looked to his friend with no ill intentions. "There's one going on already, and I had no hand in it."

I looked away from them when I felt Peter put a little bit of pressure on his hold on me. His face was still laden with worry. When I met his stare with a small smile, he let go of me. He didn't look too convinced with me as he squinted his eyes toward my face. "A-are you sure you're okay?"

I nodded to him and to Remus, who was still standing close to me. I tried to give a more heartfelt smile for I did feel somewhat better. And it was the truth. Lupin didn't seem completely convinced either, though he tried for me not to notice it. He shivered with the severity of his lycanthropy sickness, looking at me with kind eyes. "But if you do need something, just ask."

The words took me aback, and I didn't know what to think. I was moved by the fact that at that moment I appeared to have the support of the Marauders. It was an uncanny feeling, to feel like I was important to someone. Sure, they had begun to be important to me a while ago, back when I started to consider them my friends, but I never thought it would reach this far, for them to offer me their help and support as good friends, as if I was part of the group, in the same way I would do to Lily or Peter. It seemed strange to consider it, almost wrong to do so, to get my hopes up and assume so much.

However, with Remus' offer the most hypocritical thought came to my mind. There were great social consequences in the line, ones that could make the previous night repeat itself, but I was already a walking pariah and Lorcan Mulciber would always find a reason to torment me. So I figured, I might as well go with my thought.

"I do need something," I decided to say. The problems with my House aside, I had chosen to be around the Marauders, both as the consequences of having one of them as a best friend and choosing to run with the pack that night so long ago in October. A part of me wanted to stay silent, stay with the thought of keeping with the plan on bottling everything up, but another part wanted to run away and hide in a comfortable place, and for the moment, I was going to go with that last thing. "Do you guys think I could maybe sit with you for lunch? Just for today. I won't make a habit of it."

They stared.

I was asking for a lot, I knew. I was asking for them to forgo the centuries of rivalry and the sanctity of their table just to accommodate me, their insignificant Slytherin friend who just so happened to be their 'Birdie in the white dress'. But as I stood under their gazes, I was sure they understood that it was something difficult for me to ask too. We hadn't been friends for long, and I was certain I had been very clear on the pride I felt toward my House. So far, they had respected me for it, and had even appeared to accept me. I could see understanding in their eyes. I felt kind of bad, that they were seeing this weak side of mine, yet I knew I couldn't force myself to sit with the Slytherins, not today. It was the main reason as to why I didn't eat breakfast. And with what happened with the Gryffindor boys, I was feeling a bit normal, and that meant my stomach would start to chime soon.

Besides, I couldn't skip two meals in the same day. If I did, someone would notice, and before the sun went down I would get the visit of no one other than the Headmaster himself. It had happened before, that I got too engrossed in studying that I forgot to eat in a whole day, and Dumbledore ended up insisting I went to the Hospital Wing. It was one of the most annoying moments of my life, but I understood that he was only doing it because the Ministry demanded close tabs on me.

"Sure." Peter chirped without thinking, then he looked to the others, fear in his eyes. "S-she can, right?"

"There's nothing in the rules that says she can't." James said bringing his eyes to the distinct house colors that marked my school uniform as he pressed a finger to the bridge of his nose to push his eyeglasses back to their place.

Remus scoffed, rolling his eyes at Potter. "Yes, because we have a tendency to follow rules."

"She won't be t-the first non-Gryffindor to s-sit at the table." Peter spoke up in that same way that he always seemed to defend me in front of his friends.

"She will be the first Slytherin, though." Sirius said to his friends, as he crossed his arms. Of all the Marauders he had been the only one that at one point voiced out in my presence his discomfort of me being a Slytherin, though it had not stopped him from agreeing to go on the date or let me hang-out with them.

I pointed at myself, feeling much better about my whole situation. "She is standing right here."

That made them chuckle.

"Let's just see how this goes." James gestured us to follow him, leading the way.

Walking next to Peter behind the rest of the guys, I thought about reconsidering my words. My presence in the Gryffindor table if it happened wouldn't go unnoticed, and though there was nothing against sharing and switching around tables to sit with friends in school, my House and the boys' House were rivals, centuries old rivals. And I was a pariah, and I would create repercussions against myself. But then I thought that I knew the date with Sirius would cause the same thing, and I still went with it because it was something that I really wanted. I did it for myself because it was testament to my freewill, or doing whatever I wanted. As I continued with the guys, I resolved myself to keep going with what I was doing. I asked and they were nice enough to say yes. They understood my need of sitting anywhere that wasn't my table in the Great Hall, and they were brave enough to risk it. I should be the same, if only to not face my housemates or my problems.

We entered the Great Hall, and I followed the boys in. I tried to ignore the Slytherin table and those who had chosen that moment to be sitting there, by looking at the Gryffindor one, searching for Lily. I found her to the upper side of the table. Her eyes were at the other side of the room as she nodded at something Mary was saying to her. I followed her searching stare to the crowd of my housemates sitting there, and I came to the conclusion that she was looking for me.

The walk through the wrong side of the Great Hall had a toll on me, making me hide between the boys as much as possible. Even among them, or especially among them, prying eyes landed on me.

"Look, there's Lily! Can we sit with her?" I voiced out to ease myself, holding on to the first robes I could grab in front of me, which just so happened to be Remus'.

"Yes, yes. We can definitely sit with her." Still leading the way, James did not try to hide the excitement in his voice when he spoke to me. As he went, he turned to Sirius walking next to him, smiling in that way that seemed so pure and lovable to me when I saw it. "Why didn't we think of this a month ago?"

. . .


	27. Chapter 27: The day after March's run

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing

 **AN:** Late again. I'm not amused with how I keep posting the day after I specifically chose to post in! Agh. This is my entire fault really. Yeah, but what's important is that I actually do post regularly, if not on time. I'm not happy with the last conversation of this chapter, but the plot must move on.

I had trouble getting the inspiration to write this chapter. My favorite band announced their end this week, and I'm more depressed than I'm allowing myself to show. Its sad, and it makes me more lazy than I already am.

This chapter was a bit half-assed, so if you spot many errors and muddy sentences then it because I had enough, deciding to leave things as they are. That my back hurt doesn't help either.

Anyways, thanks to those that have commented and to those who now are following the story. You guys are awesome.

Read, enjoy, comment if you can, and have a lovely day.

* * *

 **Chapter 27** : The day after March's run

I held on to my wand tighter as a sort of outlet for the pain that raged through my head. With the discomfort of the ache, a minuscule fraction of ancient information was freed, and with the blood knowledge I understood how to do a score of Counter-curses that were addressed in class. I resisted the heavy drops of my eyelids as I blinked myself to a normal state, tired more so than usual after a night of running around in the Forbidden Forest with the Marauders in their animal forms.

Missa Lufkin was already standing opposite of me, in the corner we had chosen for our practices in the classroom. Around us duos of sixth year Slytherins or Hufflepuffs began to perform the day's spell, encouraged by Professor Ofina, the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. She was an odd witch dressed from her shoes to the tip of her pointy hat in a bright cerulean that singled her out anywhere as she glided in between pairs. There was a wild look in her eyes, one that most times I mistook for dementia, but often times ruled out because of her age. As I nursed my headache away to clear my mind and be ready for practice, I saw the professor head toward the other end of the classroom, to the platforms she had raised herself.

I watched as Severus Snape and Mafalda took each side of it, and face the other to duel. They began without a single word spoken, the clash of their streams of light joining those of the other already in the fray about the room.

My attention returned to Lufkin, who had patiently waited for me both when using my secret blood knowledge and looking around. Blonde and skinny, Missa sometimes made me feel like I was towering her with the couple extra inches I had over her, but that would lose any importance as soon as she pulled her wand out. Missa was vicious. She was deadly accurate, fast on her feet, and a brilliant duellist.

We were good duelling partners. She pushed me to my limits most times in Professor Ofina's crazy drills, and I liked to think I did the same. After all, months had gone by and she still looked me up to start our practice. Our only problem was that she barely said anything to me, and I had the feeling it had to do with me being a Slytherin she didn't know. Sure, I had barely heard her say anything to anyone in the months that we had taken the class, but her verbally discomfort with me, I wagered had to do with the fact that I had appeared out of nowhere in the beginning of the school year. I just appeared and she was stuck with me. At least Missa had been kind enough to roll with it.

Lufkin pointed her wand toward me, her last cordial sign of waiting for me. A second later, yellow light erupted from the end of her wand. We were supposed to use nonverbal spells and counter them accordingly, and I had to dodge out of the way before I could bring to mind the correct one for her jinx.

The long, thin piece of wood in my hand erupted to life as I directed my attack on Missa. She clashed her yellow light against the one coming out of my wand, sending vibrations from my arms to the rest of my body for the second the streams connected. Lufkin had ended the merging, jumping to her side to again direct her wand toward me.

I took her leap as the correct moment to attack her, using a Body-Bind Curse to distract her. She deflected it with a wave of her wand, lurching at me and making me move. I darted to a comfortable distance, shooting at her again and again as she deflected all of my hexes. My arm lashed from one side to the other, Lufkin waving her arm in the same violent matter. Her face was twisted with determination, her eyes were set sorely on me, and I was doing the same thing. I could hear the duels happening all around us over the clashing of our spells, but the vibrations of my wand were enough to keep me concentrated.

Purple jet light erupted from my wand, pointed straight at Missa's legs. It was an unexpected target, and my duelling partner wasn't able to stop the Locker-Leg curse that tied her legs together. She hopped two times to stop herself from failing backwards, and shot a red stream at me while she was at it.

The Expelliarmus spell made my wand fly out of my hand, my guard down for having been watching my partner trying not to fall. As I saw Lufkin counter the curse on her legs, I scrambled after the piece of wood.

Just as my hand took hold of my wand, ever watchful of Missa, I saw as she sent a spell my way. From her wand to my body, invisible strings grabbed me, binding my arms to my torso. With nothing to do about it for a second, I tried to struggle against the holds. They were ferociously tight around me, and no matter how much strength I tried to use, there was no bulging out.

"Emancipare!" I said out loud, for I felt that with my wand so tightly pressed against my thigh, I wouldn't be able to do the counter-spell right without waving it.

Freed, Missa Lufkin wasted no time in attacking me, hitting me with a Stunning spell on my left arm. I tried to use a shield charm to deflect it, but that only caused the spell to lose strength once it got pass my sloppy defences to hit me. The force sent me back a few feet, making my vision darken and my legs wobble as I tried desperately to hold on to my consciousness. I staggered, feeling the pain as I went to wave my wand against her. I fired my own jinx, watching it hit her as she hadn't expected me to react so fast. Wizard crackers erupted over her, going out with a bang around her head. Her attention was consumed by the sharp sounds and lights for the moment it took her to remember the counter-curse needed for it.

A bell began to chime then, and all around the classroom there was a wave of alleviated grunting as the practice section of the class came to an end.

With a last spell, I helped Missa to a normal state, earning a curt nod and a 'thanks' from her, before she went to gather her things. I wiped sweat off my brow and cheek with the sleeve of my robes, tucking my wand away while I was at it.

"Next week we'll be revising defensive and counter-spells again. Practice your wand work as much as you possibly can. Remember, practice now will keep you alive in the hard days to come." Professor Ofina said in a sing-song voice as she spoke over the sounds of students gathering their belonging. "And I want a roll of parchment describing today's class. Include everything! All that you learned, all you did wrong and what you believe would have been a better offensive or defence in the situation. Off you go, then."

With my things put away in my bag, I waited for my classmates to walk out the room before doing the same. Being the last to leave was always better that getting stuck between my Slytherin dorm mates, and that meant less drama for me. I could do with less drama.

My social life in my House had yet calmed itself. Almost a week had gone by since Lorcan Mulciber's insult in the common room, and I can't say I expected things to be normal by now. I really didn't, but I hoped that at least I could go back at being ignored by my housemates. That was better than having their stares on me every possible moment of the day.

Stepping out of the classroom last, after speaking to Professor Ofina about clearing up some doubts in her office, I came upon the hallway were students were walking around to where they were supposed to go next. The Slytherin and Gryffindor first years were waiting by the door I exited for their Defence class. My plan was to study in the Library with Lily until it was time to meet with the professor, but that plan was put on hold. As I walked a little away from the classroom door, I saw Graham Rowle sitting with his friends on an empty window ledge, waiting to enter the room I just came out of.

"Alright, Faraday?" Marcus Selwyn greeted me when he saw me, sitting next to Graham. On the other side sat Anne Fawley, a feisty little girl that I always thought would had done better in Gryffindor with the bold attitude she had. They were an odd trio, and the oddity began with how similar they looked from a first instance. All from pure-blooded families, and probably distantly related, the three Slytherins had the same shade of blonde hair. They were, however normal eleven year olds, blessed with different color eyes, all striking nonetheless with their distinctive attitudes.

I greeted all of them in turn, glad to see them. Graham remained silent as he held a spread roll of parchment on his lap. That seemed strange to me. Most times it was Graham the one that said hello to me, or invited me to stay among his little group, but as he sat, he said nothing, not even looked up to me. It made me wonder if I had done something to him, and I was about to ask him, when Anne spoke.

"Is it true?" I looked to the girl, she had her long hair tied back with a ribbon, and her blue eyes stared at me with a daring annoyance. Not understanding where her question was coming from, I made a face and she continued. "Do you really not like us anymore?"

"Anne!" Graham said through gritted teeth. On his other side, Marcus looked away, suddenly very interested with something behind me.

I was, needless to say, confused. "Of course I like you. What, what is this all about?"

The girl crossed her arms, staring at me as if she was looking down at me. Anne and I weren't the best of acquaintances, I mostly only talked to Graham, but her sudden attitude stroked me as strange. As my gaze didn't waiver from her, she reminded me of a less condescending Gemma. "Graham thinks you hate us now, and that's why you don't sit with us anymore."

I looked at the girl, then at the boy. It was true that I hadn't sat with them for the daily meals in a while when before I would sit with the trio always. Ever since my embarrassment in the Slytherin common room, I had avoided like the plague being around my housemates. Mostly I did it in the dorm and the Great Hall, for there was little avoiding to be done in class, there was no running away from that. In the House it was easy; I stayed in the Library or in some corner of the castle until late in the night, and when I was sure there would be barely anyone in the common room, I would sneak in. It was a plan that worked for me. In the Great Hall, on another hand, it was harder. I would be seen no matter what I did, even more considering that I had taken the habit of sitting with my Gryffindor friends. I hadn't done it much, only for like four meals in the couple of days since I first asked the Marauder boys. On the other occasions I had to eat, what I did to avoid Slytherins was go to the Hall late, when there was barely anyone loitering around. And of course I skipped a couple meals.

I had skipped breakfast that morning in order to finish the homework I had due. The full moon interrupted my routines of staying up until midnight scribbling away and revising the assignments I had to give in the following day. With painfully dry eyes, and no energy whatsoever, I decided the morning meal could be sacrificed in order to not get low marks. But I didn't hate the kids, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why they thought I hated them. It would make more sense if _they_ hated me. "Do you really think that? It's not true, you know."

"Is it that your new boyfriend is jealous of us?" Marcus piped up, a surprise to me for he regularly didn't speak much when I was around. His face went red when I looked at him, and he lowered his head to stare at the ground.

I tried hard to keep the irritation out of my voice at the topic brought up. I wasn't able to. "What boyfriend?"

"Sirius Black." It was the first thing Graham had said to me, and I detected frustration in him.

"He's not—" I sighed, cutting myself off, less I answer them in an angry tone. They were kids, curious children who were susceptible to the rumors around school that refused to die already. A month had already gone by from Valentine's Day, and people sure did like to keep gossiping about it. "We're not dating."

"What about the Pettigrew bloke?" Anne said, this time more normal and less Gemma-like.

I shook my head, again trying desperately not to be angry at children who had done nothing but accept me and given me a place to sit when in other occasions I wouldn't have. They watched me.

"Then it's because we didn't help." This was said by Graham, who held on to his parchment a bit too tightly. The edges had already begun to get crumpled up.

"Help with what?"

The kids, each in turn gave the impression of being uncomfortable, but it was Graham the one to look around and see if the coast was clear. I did the same, noticing that their classmates had already begun to file into the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. When our gazes met again, Graham's hazel eyes were shinny and red around the edges as he spoke. "I-we, we wanted to, really, but he's so scary."

I knew instantly what he was referring to. However, the expression on Graham's face reminded me of the fateful night in September, during my last attendance to the Slytherin Duelling Society. My heart seemed to stop for a moment as I stared at the boy, chilling me at the prospect that Graham might remember that night and all that had occurred. Anne and Marcus, though embarrassed to agree to their friend's statement, didn't sport the same kind of primal fear. A fear I understood completely. It took me a moment to speak, and when I did, I thought I had done so only to myself, but that wasn't the case. "Better that you didn't."

After that they said no more, and neither did I. Then they gathered their things, leaving me in the hallway alone, as they entered class. I felt bad as I watched them go. My heart grew heavy, just thinking of poor little Graham celebrating the Slytherin Quidditch win in the common room, and then having to witness my disgrace. I thanked the heavens that he wasn't braver; I shuddered at the thought of him facing Lorcan Mulciber at his worst.

"Oh wonderful, I managed to catch you." I jumped as a female voice spoke behind me.

"Hey." I said to Mary Macdonald, trying to hide in vain that she had startled me. I hadn't heard her approach.

"Come with me." The girl, taller than me by a couple of inches, grabbed my arm for a second; pulling it in the direction she had appeared from. I didn't resist her pull, though it seemed a bit odd to me. I was comfortable with Mary, but I didn't think we were in terms to touch the other, even if it was for beckoning. "Lily is not good. She's been crying all night."

"Why is she crying?" Whatever had bother me about being touched by Mary disappeared. Of course I was washed with concern, as I went to follow the Gryffindor girl to wherever she was leading me.

"Because of Uric, obviously."

She didn't say anything more, and I opted to not ask for it was best to not waste time. The thought of Lily crying was unheard of for me. It unsettled me to no end, and the allegation that it was because of Uric Belby didn't make things better. We hurried to the girl's bathroom on that very floor, and I was grateful that was the destination. I don't think I could go down or up stairs with my heart lodged in my throat.

Mary led the way into the bathroom, which was empty with exclusion of Lily Evans and Dorcas Fisher.

My eyes went directly to the huddled form of Lily. Leaning her shoulder to the outer part of a toilet stall, she looked as composed as ever, watching me approach her with Mary. Sure, her eyes were a bit puffy, and she looked like she hadn't smiled in a week, but other than that she looked fine. I'm sure my face showed my confusion. I expected a crying wreck of a girl, and it wasn't the case. Lily looked more ticked off than sad.

"What's going on?" I said as Lily stood, Dorcas next to her, patting her back in a manner that she believe she was being comforting. It must have been, for Lily made no sign of being bothered by it. For a moment I thought that maybe they were playing a trick on me, but I pushed that thought away.

"We're here for moral support." Mary said going to our friend in need on her other side.

"Okay, but why?" With the spur of the moment, the worry I harboured for Lily, and the relief that she at least looked emotionally stable to me, exhaustion caught up with me.

"Don't you see the state Lily's in?"

"I'm fine, really." Lily said to oppose what Mary had said. Her tone of voice was monotone, and it made me wonder if she was saying the truth or if she was trying to be strong or if she was already tired of the attention she was getting. My bet was on the latter. That would be my feeling too if it were me in her situation, not that anyone had told me already what was happening.

"You cried all night." Dorcas said next to Lily, in a soft and caring voice.

"Why were you crying? Mary said this has to do with Uric?" I went to stand directly in front of Lily, as any other spot was taken. Her face twisted with the mention of her boyfriend, but what it meant I didn't know. This was the first time I was supposed to give support to a friend in need, who appeared to have relationship troubles. I had no idea what I was supposed to do, so I went with what Mary had gone to the through the trouble of getting me. Giving support. But to do that I needed to know what happened, and Lily didn't answer my questions. Nor did her appearance make me believe that she had cried that much. I knew what a person looked like after hours of crying, and Lily didn't sport the look. "Did Belby cheat on you?"

I got angry just saying the words and Lily's reaction didn't help me. She gave a sarcastic chuckle. "If only he had."

I was taken aback at this. I looked at Dorcas concerned face and then at Mary's. The last thing I imagined was for Lily to react that way. It appeared almost uncharacteristic coming from her, but I had just witness it. Lily did joke from time to time, however, with a topic as serious as that of her romantic relationship; I would think she would be different. A statement of pure anger would have been more true to her, given the situation. Plus, I didn't believe Uric would be that kind of guy. I barely knew him, of course, but of what I did know, it seemed out of character.

"See? She needs all the support she can get." Mary looked at her friend as if she was looking at a sick person, and it made me wonder if maybe she was doing the right thing. Dorcas didn't offer me anything, the girl keep comforting Lily, who kept accepting the gesture.

We stared at Lily then, waiting.

Lily looked at me, only at me; singling me out in a way that gave me the impression that the other two girls already knew what had happened.

"Uric has a fiancée." Her mouth seemed to chew the words, as if saying them was leaving a bitter aftertaste. The reveal surprised me. I wanted to ask for how long he had one, but Lily went on talking. "Last week was his birthday, and for coming of age, his parents announced his betrothal. He's a half-blood and his mother managed to pair him off with a pureblood. They're insisting on the match."

I stared at her, wanting to say something, but not being able to. Lily continued, looking away from me. "He wants to stay together, though, for as long as we can."

Dorcas spoke, her face shining with disgust. "He's a two-timing git."

There was silence, as Mary nodded Dorcas words as undying truth, whereas I was still a little bit confused. I looked at my best friend, perplexed as to why her reaction was so controlled. She should be angry, distraught and frustrated, but as I stared, I didn't see any of that. Okay, maybe there was frustration in her, evident in how she clenched her hands together in front of herself. "I don't get what's the problem."

"He has a fiancée." Mary said to me, in a stressed tone.

I gave her a nod as I went on speaking, acknowledging her words. "Yeah, I understood that part. What I don't get is the problem with Uric having one. Were you planning on marrying him, Lily?"

My question made her visibly uncomfortable, as she stood between her friends. "No,"

I opened my arms as manner to highlight my question at the same time as I rolled my shoulders. "Then why not stay with him?"

Her brow furrowed, eyes shining with green ember. "I don't want to be the other woman." She moved away from the spot she had been leaning on the toilet stall. Walking to the sinks, she turned around before she was further away. "And I don't want to be a last fling before he has to get married."

"Maybe he'll fight against it." Mary offered with a chipper attitude.

"No, he's gotten a good match." Dorcas said shaking her head as she spoke.

I could only agree with her words. "Yes, and he's the first born of his family, therefore the heir. Marriage to a pureblood would solidify their family in the elite, and they'll have a good position in the future."

Lily and the other two girls stared.

"Purebloods." Mary said to Lily who nodded in understanding. The comment stroke me as odd at first, but once I understood it, I couldn't resist the urge to smile at it. Lily and Mary were both muggle-born witches, and something like the acceptance of arranged marriages would seem like a crazy thing. I had thought that same thing when I arrived in Hogwarts to a dorm filled with girls that spoke of the topic as if it was old news. For the likes of Gemma and Hestia it was something they knew they were supposed to do since they were born, and it hadn't taken me long to get accustomed to the idea that I would eventually have to do the same.

"I'm a half-blood too!" Dorcas defended herself with indignation, raising her hands in the process.

The three looked at me, expecting a similar defence or something. I gave a dry chuckle as I waved a hand in their direction. "Oh, I'm as pure as we get. According to the Healers in St. Mungo's, that is. "

To my luck, no one pressed at my words. The only one that would normally, Lily, just did one pace in front of a row of sinks.

"What bothers me more," Lily continued, shaking her head as she went. "Is that, he wants to be with me, and I want to be with him, but I don't want to be in a relationship with a certain end. I don't want to be a fling. I want to be a priority. And I'm angry that I have to end this just because he's accepted the future laid out for him. He won't fight to be with me." A big fat tear rolled down her eye as she spoke and that startled me.

Anger was an emotion that fitted better with the Lily I had found in the bathroom when Mary brought me. I wanted to comfort her, for her to feel all better, but that wasn't a thing I could do. I knew that. The next best thing was to tell her what she wanted to hear. "Break up with him."

Neither Lily, nor the other girls were surprised at my words, no doubt having told her the same at some point before. "Should I, really?"

I nodded and Mary sent me an approving look before she spoke. "You definitely should."

"No doubt about it." Dorcas agreed.

I felt like the voice of reason; however I also felt like I was repeating things to her that she had already heard. I didn't mind, so long as it worked to get her better. "This is eating you away, and I'm sure your relationship will never recover from this if you chose to stay. End it."

"And you deserve better." Dorcas told Lily as went to pat her arm.

Two silent tears began to fall down Lily's face, and as soon as she saw them, Dorcas engulfed Lily in an embrace. From where she was, Mary went to do the same. I, on another hand, didn't felt comfortable enough to follow them in. I might hug Lily later, when alone.

"Lily," I said walking forward to take a hold of her hands. The tears had stopped as soon as they had begun to come out, and that made more sense to me of the best friend I knew. "You are a beautiful glowing sun goddess. A talented, brilliant and powerful witch. You deserve more than Uric Belby. You deserve a man that can see all the wonderful that is you, and knows that the only logical thing to do is to worship you."

The three girls stared at me. I was stretching it, we all were when we claimed that she deserved better than the boyfriend she had had. Uric was one of the best, and one of the reasons Lily might had been frustrated about breaking up with him was for that fact. He was a good man, with a potentially good future ahead of him, and any girl he chose to love would be happy to have his attention. But this was about Lily, and as her friend it was my job as was Dorcas and Mary's to make matters sorely about her.

"You don't mean like Potter does, do you?" Lily said after a moment when she got control over herself.

I shrugged, trying hard to keep a grin from forming on my face but failing miserably. "Well, if you think he's your type—"

"Faraday!" The three yelled.

Then after a second, the room roared with laughter.

. . .


	28. Chapter 28: Hogsmeade

**Disclaimer:** I'm the owner of nothing.

AN: I'm late. I turned up late with this chapter. I missed a week and now I'm behind in my schedule. . I didn't really feel like writing, I got of the grove of it for a long while and this chapter was painstakingly slow to write. I wasn't in the mood to write it, therefore I had to force this one out, so maybe that's why it had barely anything to do with the plot.

Extra disclaimer: This chapter is more filler than anything else. I got carried away writing. Sorry. It's filler in the sense for time to pass on, for you to see school shenanigans, her relationship with the boys, and one little hidden piece of plot that'll shine next chapter.

Also, I feel like I typed the word 'feather' a hundred times.

Anyway, sorry for the wait. Enjoy this chapter and all that.

If this chapter disheartens you, then I got a spoiler for you. I'm a couple chapters away from reaching the climax of Faraday's sixth year at Hogwarts. And I'm excited for that.

* * *

 **Chapter 28** : Hogsmeade

March was beginning to reach its end, and my workload incremented in ways that had me question my sanity every day. I don't know how I managed to keep up with everything I had to hand in and know, and sleeping five hours a night had probably something to do about it. Lily fussed over my lack of sleep every time she saw the bags under my eyes acting up in violet glory, but there was nothing to be done. Her situation was pretty much the same as mine, and most times she didn't have time to lecture me about trying to keep my appearance a tad better.

I was particularly pushing myself to be on top of all my classes so I could enjoy the next Hogsmeade visit. It was the following day, and I wanted to relax fully on the outing without lingering thoughts of work I had to get done. In my mind it was imperative that I did so, even more considering that Lily had proposed we stick together for it. She had ended things with Uric a little over a week ago. She claimed that she was alright, and she did function to perfection in her normal routines, but there was still sadness to her. I tried not to pry when her emotions got low, but I knew cutting ties with a person that had been a constant in her life wasn't easy. So helping her enjoy the visit to Hogsmeade was important.

She and I needed the rest.

Like some un-dead creature, I stood away from my dorm mates as we waited to go inside the Potions classroom. The Slytherins of my year huddled together, as we always did, at one side of the hallway, while at the other stood Mary, Dorcas and their other dorm mate. Lily was nowhere to be seen yet, and I vaguely remember her saying something about Prefect duties. Hence the reason I hadn't joined the girls. As much Gryffindors as they were, they wouldn't brave the glares of my housemates just for me. Plus I wasn't close to any of them to leave my normal spot. I waited for class there and that was the place Lily and I would stand when we lingered around after Slug Club.

My eyes dropped heavily, as I could see Gertrude a little away from me, poring over her plans for Hogsmeade and the date she had with her seventh year boyfriend Rabastan Lestrange. Her voice bounced off the walls and mixed in with those of the Gryffindor girls. Among my housemates, I could hear the low voice of Severus Snape. My glance landed on him for a moment as I tried to fight back my exhaustion. He had the attention of all the Slytherin boys of our year, Ivan Rosier, Adrian Flint and Gertrude's cousin Gregor Goyle, as in a shushed tone he pointed at something in his Potions text book.

I looked away, not interested in catching any of their eyes. At that moment the door to Potions class opened and before any student came out, I saw something strange. It glided down from the ceiling, a single golden feather.

Watching it as it swayed from one side to another as it made its way to the floor, I wondered at it. It was too short to be a wayward feather from a random quill, and its color seemed strange, as if it wouldn't belong to any living animal. It was too vibrant and shinny, and for the life of me I couldn't think of any fantastic bird that could possessed plumage like that.

"What are these?"

I heard the commotion to my side. Looking, I couldn't really believe what I was seeing. Over my housemates was a shower of feathers, all gingerly falling from the stones ceiling from an unknown and unseen source. They appeared pure in their dive, falling on Slytherin shoulders and robes as they went. The golden feathers had everyone either confused or mystified, and for a couple of seconds we watched the strange occurrence. Then Flint tried to swat away the ones that had nestled on his shoulders, his forceful move giving light to the fact that the feathers had stuck itself unto him. His actions started a fuss, as more Slytherins realized that the plumage was sticking to every body part they landed on, and more horrifying, no one could get them off. It was then that I realized that they were falling on me too.

Getting covered in golden plumes, and not understanding anything of what was going on, I bumped into Hestia, who had walked back trying to escape. I shook myself and swatted at my robes' sleeves, the feathers pilling up on me, as they got stuck on the fabric. They landed on every part of me, my shoulders arms and chest, as well as they piled on the bag I had hanging from my shoulder.

Indignant yells took my attention, and I saw Mafalda, Gertrude and her cousin prying away the feathers as if they hurt where they landed. Gemma had tried to walk away from the spot where the plumes fell, but she only managed to make the shower follow her where she moved. She stumbled unto Severus' back, who was equally trying to find a spot devoid of falling feathers. I heard laughing **,** making me turn toward it. There were students of another year lingering about; no doubt the ones that had just come out of Potions; being spectators of a show they had walked into as they exited their class. They didn't have any feathers on them.

Gemma cried out orders, her wand out and it also getting feather stuck onto it. Beside her, Snape tried to do the same, as it seemed that one of them remembered a good way to counter whatever was being done at us. I watched them utter spells and charms, and for a second I actually believed it would work, I think we all wished it did, but no. Their spells didn't work, and actually made things worse.

It stopped being a delicate shower; more feathers began to fall from the ceiling, pilling on people and making mounds on the ground.

This time it wasn't just on us, or at least, it was then that I noticed that Mary was reaching a similar state as mine, as I tried desperately to keep the sticky things from getting on my eyes. I had no idea what to do with myself, and deep down in my gut, though I hadn't been hurt, I felt a tad scared. It was most likely the confusion of it all. Everybody in the hallway was trying to get the feathers off of them, trying not to slip, and any use of magic only made the storm even worse. Heck, even protecting my eyes, at one point I could barely see past the falling golden flecks.

"They'll pay for this." I heard Snape say. It was then that I noticed that the feathers were beginning to change color. One by ones all around, the thousands of them began to shimmer, the golden morphing away to a more implicating color that had most the Slytherins in the room growling. Anger began to boil inside of me too as I realized what the colours of the feathers, first gold then a triumphant red, meant.

Professor Slughorn had to come out his classroom to undo whatever was causing the feather storm. He shot a spell to the ceiling, and there was a pop as whatever magic had caused the incident died out. When his demands for the ones responsible for the actions were silenced with empty accusations by the Slytherins toward a certain group of troublemakers, he gave us all the leave to get ourselves cleaned. With half an hour, he sent us back to our house, the same as the other students that had suffered the shower. I watched boys and girls walk away, muttering to themselves or their friends each looking like half plucked phoenixes as they went.

I cursed under my breath as I hastily went after my housemates, not in the right mind to use my wand to try clean myself and knowing that I must have look ridiculous. As we went, I saw Hestia and Mafalda try to utter spells against themselves. The others were doing the same, but nothing worked. We walked to Slytherin House, I particularly grateful that it was only a hallway and a staircase away from Slughorn's classroom. I wanted nothing but to get out of my robes and burn them if possible.

As I made my way down to the dungeons I saw how Merlin's portrait was swung opened by one of the Slytherin boys in my year that had run faster than the rest of us. I heard more steps coming down the stairs as I went, and the fact seemed strange to me. No one should be coming this way but us at that time of the day, and I was sure I was the one trailing behind.

I looked back, up the staircase and there was no one. My skin prickled under the feathers, as a deeper instinct put off every sort of alert inside of me. Something was afoot.

As I kept going, I kept hearing the steps. Mafalda was going through the portrait when I reached the foot of the stairs, but I decided to turn to the one silent hallway to the side. Not being noticed by the painting, I heard the definitive sound of Merlin closing Slytherin house, as I walked further into the hallway. The hallway only went further down the dungeons, and like my dorm, it stretched under the Black Lake. The doors it had were either storage rooms or actual dungeons with medieval chains and remnants of torture devices. There was one abandoned classroom down there, and the Slytherins used it as the base of the Duelling Society. If it wasn't for the weekly event, no one else but Filch, the Bloody Baron or Peeves prowled it.

The footsteps had followed me, and I turned around to face the empty hallway, ready with my wand inside a feather covered sleeve.

I glared in front of me, my vision went all the way down to the beginning of the stairs. I could feel something out of the ordinary, and though I didn't have a clear reason as to how I knew, I was certain that it had to do with Merlin or Morgana's blood. As I stared, a part of the hallway shifted, and from thin air stepped James Potter and Peter Pettigrew.

"I'm so sorry!" Peter cry out, coming to me with his teary eyes that seemed even more teary than usual. Their sudden arrival awoke in me the thought that what had just happened minutes ago was their fault. Gold and red was strictly Gryffindor in Hogwarts, and trouble was the Marauders trademark. Peter words didn't make me feel any better, it reminded me of my anger and somewhat fuelled it. He made as if to hold on to me, but in my feathered mess the last thing I wanted was to be touched. I took a step back feeling ridiculed by being seen as I was, and even angrier that it was because of their doing.

"What the hell is that?" I said pointing to the shifting piece of fabric James held close.

"An invisibility cloak." James said as he put it over his shoulder. He adjusted his glasses as he took a step toward me, allowing me to see and recognize concern in them. "About what happened, I—"

His words were interrupted by a strange cluttering sound coming from behind me. It seemed impossible to me, but from one of the storage doors emerged Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. I had to take a step back as I was turned to them, suddenly overwhelmed with the situation I had unknowingly walked into. As if the feather prank wasn't enough, and invisibility cloak and magical abilities to appear out of nowhere were adding to my negative emotions. What the fuck was going on here with these guys?

"Faraday, are you alright?" Remus said coming closer to me. He had his wand pointed up at me, concern in his face. Behind him, Sirius looked the same, as he pocketed some folded parchment. He too had his wand out. "Let me clean you up."

"Put that away." I said pushing his wand to the side. "I don't want help from any one of you."

His face fell at my refusal, and it hurt to do so. I looked around, my glare landing on Peter, and his expression was almost the same as his friends. It made me feel bad, to treat them that way, but I wasn't about to cut any of them some slack. Not even if it was at the expense of not accepting his help and later having to search my brain trying to come up with a way to undo whatever made the feathers stick. It was probably a powerful Sticking charm, and I could deal with that.

"Don't be angry, this is a misunderstanding." With Sirius coming toward me as well, I was trapped in a circle made of Marauders; rouge boys surrounding what must look like a horribly mutated red bird. Sirius' laid back attitude of always, and the almost bored look on his face didn't make me feel any better. The opposite really.

"Oh, bad choice of words." I said, my teeth clenched, and my hand now grasping my wand. There was no intention on me to hex them, but the feel of the smooth and thin piece of wood gave me a bit of comfort. It didn't lessen my emotions much, yet that wasn't its purpose.

James stepped forward, again trying to be the responsible one as he always tended to be. "Let me explain."

I was having none of their explanations, I wasn't in the mood. If it hadn't been for the surprising manner in which they appeared, I would have left way before. "What's there to explain? You-" I pointed at all of them with a sway of my arm. Their eyes followed my movement, and I watched an array of different expressions that didn't make me feel any better. "-were playing one of your infamous pranks."

"It w-was meant for Snape, w-wasn't it James?" Peter squeaked in. He was the closest to me, and I saw how his arms twitched in my direction, no doubt wanting to hold on to me.

"We didn't intend for you to be in the middle of it." Remus' expression one laced with unhappiness and my guess was that he didn't like the little confrontation we were having. "We thought you wouldn't be anywhere near them."

Relieving the whole prank in my mind did not led me to believe that there was any way I would had come untouched from that situation. The Gryffindor girls had hurried to their dorm to pluck themselves as well, anyone in that hallway would have gotten feathered. Their pranks against the Slytherins, even if it was just for Severus as Peter claimed, always were up in the scale meter. There were always a large number of my housemates that got hit with their pranks, and it was the most annoying thing in the world having to include myself in that list. "It's not like it's the first time this has happened!"

"We forgot you're a Slytherin." This was said by Sirius, who opposed my tone of voice by remaining completely unperturbed. The rest of the boys, though I could see worry in their eyes, didn't look as apologetically as I in the moment wanted them to be. There was, however, after Sirius' spoke, a flash of embarrassment, as if his words were completely true. Well, it was insulting, the amount of times that they had forgotten I was a Slytherin.

"That doesn't make this situation any better!" I had enough of the conversation, and wanted nothing more than to leave. The rivalry between Slytherin and Gryffindor, between the Marauders and Snape, to who they claimed the prank was for, was getting on my nerves. And it didn't let me think straight. "Why should I get special treatment when you have it against my House?"

For a moment none of them seemed to have an adequate answer, as they stared at me. But then, as ever, James took hold of the situation by speaking. "You're our friend."

I stared. I motioned to my robes and the rows of feathers I had stuck on my body and my bag of school books. "Yeah, sure looks like it." With that I pushed passed James and Peter, walking back to my dorm, and leaving them behind.

* * *

The next day, I walked with Lily, Mary and Dorcas to Hogsmeade. It was as much as a treat in the beginning of the spring as it had been the month before in February.

I had gotten every feather off my body in time to go to Potions class, and with the visit to the enchanted village, I felt great. Whatever anger I had held for the boys had evaporated away, and as I followed Lily into Honeydukes, our last stop on a shop for the day, I was beginning to consider looking for them later.

I had no intention to apologize for my anger, but I was prepared to try to get pass what happened. They were pranksters by nature, and I was of their rivaling house, those were our roles in life, and I had been a bit of an idiot for expecting anything else. When I told Lily of what happened, she claimed it was the best opportunity to declare a feud with them, however she relented once I told her that she and I couldn't go to war with four pranksters. We would be terribly outnumbered for her friends had denied any intention of joining us. Lily accepted my words, and continued to pull me around Hogsmeade.

In Honeydukes, I stayed close to Lily and her group of friends, though my eyes were beginning to wonder off to different kinds of sweets I hadn't noticed on my first visit. I was carried away reading new interesting labels of colored string candies, when I noticed Dorcas and Mary heading out the store.

"Where are they going?" I asked Lily as I went to stand next to her.

My friend didn't seem to be in the best attitude anymore, and her words were indicators enough. She gave a gloomy look toward the door. "Of to meet with their boyfriends to have wonderful dates."

I watched as she threw a box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans back on its rack, as she moved to the next savoury sweet to the side. Her face didn't seem to me like it reflected any sort of enjoyment as she looked for what to shop. Resisting hard the need to smile at her almost childish action, I moved with her, my attention on her. "Lily Evans, are you jealous?"

She made a face when she turned to me, but then, as if she remembered she could be honest about everything with me, she relented with a sigh. "Only a little." Her shoulders were bent as she turned to me, speaking in a hushed tone so the throng of Hogwarts students shopping around wouldn't hear. "Last Hogsmeade visit I was so excited for my date. Little more than a month has gone by and look at me."

I did look at her; the only difference I saw was in her demeanour. She looked as brilliant and imposing as ever. It was a shame she had to feel that way, and it made me feel bad that I couldn't help her get through her break-up. But I could try. "If only Ravenclaw boy didn't turn out to be a complete idiot."

"Uric, Faraday. His name is Uric, you know that." Her eyes cringed at the mention of her ex-boyfriend, though in the rest of her face I could see traces of a smile wanting to be formed. Not much time had passed since she ended their relationship, and though she pretended to be better than all her friends knew that she was, Lily remained strong. She wasn't afraid of anything, not even mentioning Belby by name, and I felt like for her strength I owed her respect. And that meant treating her like normal, talking about subjects one would try to keep away from an injured heart, and being the best friends a person could be.

I waved her words away with a hand, my gazed set on the racks of sweets in front of me. "Let's not mention idiots that give their house a bad name. Are you choosing something or not?"

That made her laugh.

Lily kept on looking for sweets to buy as my eyes roamed over racks and barrels of all kinds of sweets, and I savoured at the thought of buying each piece I found. Since the Valentine's visit to Hogsmeade, I had enjoyed eating the candy haul Sirius had bought for me. I munched on them while doing homework or studying, and I shared it with my friends whenever we agreed to meet. All in all I had adored having the leisure of sweets stored in my dresser. It was a shame I ran off of them a couple days ago, and it was a bigger shame that I couldn't buy anymore.

After the date with Sirius, I had a hefty amount left of the bet money. However, that very week I had to pay for the Apparition class if I wanted to take then, so yet again I was penniless. I was not really sure if I was seventeen or was going to be seventeen in the year, but Lily and the guys were taking the class, and I had no intention on missing out on them. The Headmaster had wanted to wait for the next year for me to take the class, partly because of our lack knowledge about my exact day of birth and because the Ministry had promised to pay, but did no such thing. Dumbledore didn't admit to anything that I asked him, however the Daily Prophet was enough of a source to lead me to believe that the Ministry of Magic wasn't in a good position.

Little by little, attacks on muggle-born wizards and witches were becoming more frequent. At least once a week, the Prophet featured them in their back pages, going into very little detail of the events. Sometimes, only names were mention to dedicate the article to the late responses the government was giving and criticize the Minister. The Ministry seemed to be trying to scramble to its feet to keep up with the attacks, and they didn't seem to be getting anywhere. Therefore there was a delay in everything government related. Hell, the Apparition class had started a month later than it was supposed to.

So, I paid for my own classes, Lily gave me a loan when I came short, and I was in the middle of learning how to Apparate. I hadn't managed it yet, not like James or Sirius, or even Lily who had flicked in her destination for a second and then went back to her original position. I had hoped that Merlin's blood would help me speed the process, but as it was with everything practical, I had to learn it by myself. I did, however, know every theoretical aspect of the motion, so I had that in my favour, I guess.

"You know, I can set you up a date if you like. I have a good candidate in mind." I said tentatively, as Lily grabbed a couple boxes of chocolate frogs. My tone of voice brought her attention back to me, and she eyed me strangely as she tried to understand where I was going.

She raised her eyebrow, an amused smile parading across her face once she understood I was messing with her. "Should I even try guessing?"

"It's James." I blurred out, unable to hold it in. Lily's expression of mild disgusts was hilarious, and the fact that she figured what I intended made everything better. I had found a certain sick enjoyment in teasing Lily with the bane of her existence. Her reactions were as fun as James' were when embarrassed.

"What about me?" Someone said behind my back. Facing Lily, the face she made was priceless, and there was only one person that could invoke that look.

I turned around. My eyes met with James' instantly, and I was almost impressed that he looked away from Lily to look at me when he had her so close. As he regarded me, I did the same. I got the impression that he was nervous. I couldn't claim to be the source of that, if he really was. He was in love with Lily, and love made you nervous. But that love-nervousness toward my friend he always masked with his best arrogance, therefore I allowed myself the reward of causing it. However that didn't feel as good as I would think it should.

As James stared waiting for one of us to react, his eyes went from me to Lily, in what I could only imagine was patient awkwardness. I stared there watching him. Lily muttered under her breath, visibly perturbed by James' silent pleasant staring. I barely heard when she said she was off to pay her sweets before she walked away. I went to follow her, but stopped once I noticed James took a step after me.

"Hear me out. About yesterday," James said once he finished following Lily with his eyes as she went. His words were hesitant, as if he wasn't really sure of what he was saying, which it almost seemed out of character. He was always sure of everything, as far as I believed. "I'm sorry for what happened."

His words were so genuinely apologetically and sort of meaningful that I relented slightly embarrassed of how he had seen me the day before.

"Don't apologize, you don't have to. I overreacted. I shouldn't have gotten so angry." I told him. His face showed confusion as he was wavering if he should believe me or not. There was a mixture in his expression; I stared at it trying to understand it. But then he half smiled with a nod of his head, and everything felt like it was fine.

At that moment, Remus and Sirius arrived, and I greeted them as they parted the mass of students stuffed into Honeydukes. They weren't too happy as they joined us, annoyed frowns set on their faces.

"Alright?" James said to them, and odd comment that didn't go unnoticed by me. Obviously, he saw something in his friends that I could not.

Sirius indicated with his head to the nearest window. It didn't have anything to do with me, but there with them, my eyes went along with James' pass the glass window of the store. My stare went in between students to the outside, where on the other side I could see Severus Snape talking with a bunch of his friends. They formed a small group of sixth and seven year Slytherin boys. Among them appeared Lorcan Mulciber, and I had enough of looking instantly. When I brought my attention back to the Marauders, something was passing between the three, something I didn't really understand, but then again didn't need to be a genius to know what it meant.

It meant trouble.

"Where's Peter?" I said, moving to look behind the two arrivals. My friend was not hiding on his friend's back, nor could I see him in the vicinity. I would have preferred to deal with Peter first before the rest of the boys. No doubt, he would be thinking that I hated him, and would not be handling my supposed animosity like the others. James, Remus and Sirius didn't seemed completely at ease with me, but it didn't appear to be that bad.

Remus was the one to answer me, as he walked away to look around for sweets. "He's saving us a seat at the Broomsticks."

"Okay. I'll see you guys there." I said intending to turn away from them. I wasn't mad with any of them anymore, but I had made plans with Lily. She had asked me if it was possible for us to visit Hogsmeade without the boys interfering on our fun, and though she knew from the start that I wouldn't evade them for too long, she accepted my indecisive answer. She knew they were my friend. Although she didn't approve, Lily did want me to branch out socially, therefore she said she was willing to spend time with the boys, if by boys it meant Peter and Remus only. Of the other two she wanted nothing, and I respected her words. I wanted her to have a good day, and I was sure spending more than five minutes with James would end up ruining most of the chances for it. So, I was going to up to meet with Peter, turning to where Lily had gone to, and take her with me.

But when I took a step away, I couldn't move my head. I pulled a bit more, feeling my head move back with the pressure, and I realized then that someone stopped me by taking a hold of the bun in my hair. I leaned back, turning to look, though I already had an inclination as to who it was. Of course I was right, it was Sirius. He stood next to James, his arm outstretched to me, as he leisurely stood there, without any worry.

"Not so fast. You need to choose some sweets first." He let go of my hair as soon as he had my attention.

I flicked my eyes between him and James. The Quidditch Captain didn't seem as perturbed as he was earlier as he stood next to his friend, both the epitome of male youth as they stood in muggle clothing in Honeydukes. "I don't have money to buy them." I said to Sirius.

"My treat."

I looked at him, deliberately squinting my eyes dramatically as I tried to find something behind the gray color in his. He met my stare head on, breaking his normal uninterested façade with a tug of his lips. Of his intentions I knew nothing, and it wasn't the first time he had bought me anything, but his words still irked me. I crossed my arms before I spoke. "Are you trying to buy my forgiveness?"

"Will it work?" He seemed almost hesitant, as if he was tentatively treating with me. I imagined he, like James, must have thought that I was still angry.

I shrugged. "Probably."

There was triumph in his eyes, and I wondered at it. Had he been perturbed about me being mad at them? Of all the Marauders, I would think him to be the less interested in my forgiveness, even more when he didn't seem that apologetically with his prank the previous day. With his trademark smirk, he grabbed my shoulders, making me turn around in the direct direction Remus had run off to within the store. "Of you go, then."

As if to indicate even more my dismissal, he leaned to his side to say something to James, who did the same. For a moment, as I walked away, I looked back and I saw how they glanced out the window again.

Shaking myself as I went to Remus, I landed a hard stare on Lily. My intention was to get her to feel my eyes on her, and I was delighted when it worked. She was receiving her change back from the owner of the store, as she had just paid him, when she looked toward me. Over and in between the throng of people, I made hand motions toward Lily. She was waiting for her things to be packaged in front of the register, and my intention was to let her know I would be looking at sweets with Remus. She nodded at one point. From the distance, I couldn't really tell what her expression meant, so I decided to choose something fast to leave faster.

Remus was already balancing a couple of boxes and chocolate bars when I stood by his side.

I eyed the colourful candies he had been looking at, trying to decide on what I wanted. The whole Sirius paying for my sweet thing reminded me of my first visit to Honeydukes, and how he paid for all I picked that day too. I remembered how annoyed I had been for a little while when he did that, and I was surprised of myself that I had agreed to let him buy me more.

I grabbed a bag of Fudge Flies with a sigh. What would Lily say when she found out what I agreed to? She was the one that had wanted me to get Sirius to pay for my things back in the date we had, and hell he had even done it. I hadn't been too happy about it, and I had no clue if Lily would mirror my feelings this time. I wasn't too sure with how I felt, a part of me wanted to decline his offer, but the part that acted accepted. I figured he was being nice, and who was I to decline that. My confused state got Remus' attention, and he looked at me expectantly. I relented instantly. "Shouldn't Sirius find a better way to spend his inheritance money, instead on having _me_ waste it here?"

"Is there even a better way to use it than buying sweets for a pretty girl?" Remus didn't miss a beat in answering me, and I stared up at him with a pleasantly surprised gaping face.

"I cannot think of one." I managed to say, a little embarrassed at his choice of words, but not really minding them. I gave him a smile, grateful for the compliment, and his normal attitude toward me. He was treating me tentatively, as James and Sirius had, though he had no reason. Toward him and Peter, I felt I should have been nicer, one had apologized and the other offered his help, and I was rude to both of them. Grabbing another bag of Fudge Flies, I tugged at Remus' forearm to get back his attention. "Help me find the most expensive sweets."

Remus nodded with a smirk.

. . .


	29. Chapter 29: Slug Club II

**AN:** Remember when I posted every week?

I don't.

Also, this is our new longest chapter. Rejoice.

Another also, about the last part of this chapter. I don't know what to say. I hope it makes sense and that it isn't too sloppy. The logistic of it don't really work for me either, but it was the only way to get this done with.

Look forward to next chapter.

* * *

 **Chapter 29:** Slug Club

I squinted my eyes at the parchment I held in my hand, trying with difficulty to decipher Peter's scrambled writing. Light was fading gingerly with the ending of the afternoon, being a nuisance in my mission of correcting my friend's work. But the coming of the night meant dinner was also coming, and I was starving enough to look forward to the special food Slughorn served to his club members.

The food, Lily and the Professor were the only good things I found enjoyable about the social meetings. Slug Club, after all was like eighty percent Slytherin, most of whom were the people responsible for making my life miserable.

Crossing out two horribly formulated sentences, I tried hard to keep the sounds flying brooms made as they traversed the skies at maximum speeds, and the yells over them barked by James Potter. With the beginning of April, the days and nights were becoming more pleasant. It had been a sunny day, wonderful really, with no need for extra layer of clothes, so sitting on the stalls of the Quidditch Pitch wasn't as much of a hassle. Captain Potter had driven his team in practice for little more than two hours, as a match against the Hufflepuff team approached. And for the most of it, I had sat with Peter and Remus watching. Well, I wasn't really.

Watching the Quidditch practice wasn't really exciting for me; I would definitely rather watch the actual match. So I would occasionally look up to see the team perform their drills and plays, amazed at their level of skill, but not really interested. I was way more interested in the essays I had to get done for the school week. There was so much for me to write and read, that looking at Peter' work turned out to be a relaxed distraction from the tension of mine. It was a nice break from the anxiety inducing assignments I wrote down. As I scribbled possible corrections for Peter to write, he did his normal commentary of the practice, or talked of whatever he had on his mind.

I gave him half of my attention, the other half on his work, but his conversation was mostly answered by Remus. He started out doing his homework with me, but once that was done, and I moved on to one of my other classes, he laid down on the stall behind us. He rested his back against it, his eyes mirroring the exhaustion of his body, but not giving in to the sleep that called him in order to stay in the conversation.

As I did with the practice, I would occasionally look back to him, to check if he was alright. The full moon came too soon for Remus Lupin, and yet again he was suffering the effects of it.

"Mum says I should take the test next year." Peter said making me turn to him. I saw as he pulled his eyes from a letter he held over his lap. He received it that very day and he had carried it along since then, peaking at it whenever he could. I knew it was from his mother, I had seen him read many of hers, and by now I could recognize her hand writing from sitting next to Peter. I didn't really have any idea of what it said, he hadn't told me yet, but if it dealt with his inability to Apparate yet, then I'm sure it must've not been very encouraging.

"And do what? Repeat the course so you'll have more experience? We still have plenty of classes left. You'll manage it." Remus said at the same time as I opened my mouth to reply to Peter. His voice rumbled with the pain cursing through his veins, but other than that his words were laced with a kindhearted mentor-like tone that only he could do.

Slouching next to me, Peter didn't seem to find his friends words to be encouraging. His mouth set in a tight pout; he appeared to be looking at nothing when he spoke, dishearten. "I haven't even flickered in t-the same spot. I'll never do it."

His defeated sounding words made me feel sad for him, not because he hadn't been able to do it, but because he had already deemed himself incapable of doing it. While we practiced under the Ministry teacher, my attention would go to him, and how he would desperately seek around him for help. I wanted to help him, to have him stop looking to Remus or Sirius or James in desperation, and help him better himself, but my abilities to Apparate were as skillful as his. It was that thought the one I decided to speak up. "Neither have I."

Peter turned to me as if he just realized my words to be true. That or he remembered I was sitting next to him, which I'm sure wasn't the case. It amused me a bit, that he hadn't noticed my complete lack of Apparating. Even more considering that during the special classes he stood a in the line next to mine, and that he tended to be more conscious about what everyone else managed to do, instead that on his own abilities. "A-aren't you worried?"

I shrugged at him, mildly picking up a slight decrease of anxiety in his squeaky voice tone. "Not as worried as I am about Potions." I said, rolling the parchment I had finished correcting. With a grimace directed at no one but my life, I handed the roll to Peter. "It'll be a shame though, wasting galleons."

Peter agreed to that with a nod of his head, raising it to look at the Quidditch practice, my words apparently enough to calm him down. Though it was true that I was way more worried about my Potions class than I was about being able to magically transport myself at will, it didn't feel good that I was failing at it. Matter of fact it was frightening, and the only reason I wasn't being consumed on the inside by that too was because my life depended more on my academics. Sure, apparating might save my life or make my future easier, but failing Transfiguration, or Potions or Defense kept me up at night and gave me nightmares. My sanity at the moment was more important than my transportation. The Ministry teacher said that I would be able to do it, if I worked more on the Determination part of his Three D's of Apparition, and in my mind I guessed that Peter had trouble in the same part of the process.

"You'll both manage it." Remus said dismissively, the same as he had before and it did make me feel a bit better. Enough to push the matter to the back of my head and concentrate on the next work I needed to get done.

With his face downcast, and not a very promising expression, Peter then took his attention back to the Quidditch practice taking place. I on the other hand, went fishing in my bag for another paper to write. I had been up since an ungodly hour, reading an ancient tome of extinct plants for a special essay I was writing for Herbology. The normal headaches of the blood knowledge had racked my brain for long enough to cause my nose to ooze a couple droplets of blood. If Madam Pomfrey got wind of it, she would tie me up to a bed and make me take a three days' rest. But I powered through it, and went on with my day, and as I put my bag down, I realized I had done all the work I had brought out of the dorm with me.

Content with not having to produce any new material, I grabbed a roll of parchment filled with notes, starting to read them with a smile on my face.

"Prongs is really drilling them today." I heard Peter say after a while, his words I'm sure, not really directed at anyone. Looking up from the parchment I probably could already recite by heart, Peter didn't notice my stare. His attention was on James, who it turned out, once I looked, was waving his arms around yelling out something to his attentive team.

Remus rumbled again, his voice making him sound more half asleep than anything. "Doesn't he always?"

I watched as James darted, doing a nerve-racking dive that he had down to perfection, hovering in front of his two beaters. His mouth moved intensely, whatever he was saying being lost to the wind between us. Dorcas Fisher nodded feverishly, loyally accepting every word of her Captain, while Sirius merely crossed his arms. Holding on to his broom with just his legs with expertise, I could see how his shoulders tensed as his mouth began to move too. James and Sirius seemed to be talking head to head, whatever matter discussed clearly putting both boys on edge as they hovered high in the sky.

"Must be because of Smith." Remus remarked, this time sounding more lucid than before.

I tried to recall who they were talking about, but I couldn't. A second later it occurred to me that I, in no way possible, knew most of the people the Marauders knew around school. I felt kind of stupid, assuming I would know who Remus mentioned; when I didn't really know what other people any of the Gryffindor boys associated themselves with on a daily basis. "Who's Smith?"

Peter wasted no time in answering me. He was already opening his mouth when I turned to him, holding my roll of notes on my lap. "Bridget Smith, Hufflepuff chaser."

Grunting with the effort, and making me and Peter turn back at him, Remus sat up. The wooden seat under him creaked as he sat on the edge to lean forward to us as he stretched an arm back. "Sirius' current fling."

"Oh," I said not really amazed. It wasn't really surprising; Sirius Black was a common piece of gossip around the school, one that even my roommates loved to debate on an almost alarming rate. And I had already heard about the fling he was currently having. I just had no clue as to who it was, and with the name came the logic to my head that she must either be a year over us or under. I looked up once more, watching the exchange between Captain and beater. "I'm sure that keeping James' good graces is more important to Sirius than some girl he's snogging."

"You already understand Padfoot so well." Remus leaned between Peter and me, where had so happened to leave his school bag when we sat down earlier. He took out a few boxes of chocolate frogs.

I smiled as he handed me a frog, and then one to Peter. My stomach lurched with the beginning of starvation, and I wasted no time in opening the package once I accepted it. Though, I replied to him before I devoured the chocolate. "I understand that James can be the most obnoxious person in this world."

"That's not true, Prongs i-is not. . ." Peter spoke up, trailing away as he went. I turned to stare at him, grimacing in a cynical way. A side glance at Remus made me see that he had the same look on his face. Under our united gaze, Peter's face reached a delightful pink tinge as he squirmed in his seat. I patted his arm as I watched him, sorry that he was embarrassed, but too amused to hold myself back. "Okay, h-he is, but only a little bit."

Remus and I laughed, as Peter joined us awkwardly to hide away his blush.

* * *

The practice ended before it was completely dark, and my insides rumbled as I followed the Marauders back to the castle.

I had half the mind on deciding to continue following them to the Great Hall, to stuff my face, but I couldn't. Slug Club was in a couple of hours and I couldn't go to it already full. Professor Slughorn took great pride in the plates he served us during the meetings, and anything else from absolute gluttony, he would take as an insult. Therefore it was best to go with an empty stomach.

Like it or not, I would have to wait a bit more and that made me drag my feet inside the castle. James, who had been trailing behind from the group since we left the Quidditch Pitch, caught up with me. He fell in stride with me, though he looked more cheerful than I did when we acknowledged each other's lack of energy with a glance. I didn't feel like telling him anything, or commenting on his moves from earlier, like I would do in other occasions, so I just continued walking. Peter, Sirius and Remus walked in front of us, talking about something I decided to ignore.

As we made our way through the castle, my absent-minded stare landed on a particular someone, and the shock of that random presence was enough to make me stop walking **.**

Many students inside the castle were also making their way to the Great Hall, but even with the normal commotion of school life, there was no evading catching sight of Lorcan Mulciber. My eyes went to him immediately, stopping my pace with the Marauders and filling my body with a sort of dread that brought disgust to my whole being. His figure leaned a shoulder against a stone pillar, his expression relaxed and cordial, much too jovial for me to be genuine. He was talking to a Hufflepuff Prefect, standing close to her. I did not remember her name, however, it didn't get pass me that they were standing closer than one would think two people needed to be to discuss Prefect duties.

Their proximity brought forth in me a strange feeling, one that I had no recollection of ever feeling to such a degree. I could feel every drop of warmth in my body leave me, numbing every inch, and for a moment I felt completely alone, ensnared to stare forever at the atrociousness that was taking place. For a second, all I wanted to do was to go to that Hufflepuff girl to tell her to run as I saw her smile at whatever Mulciber was telling her. The expression she had made me desperate for her. She was playing with a disease in par with the Black Death plague, and should she survive it, she would be disfigured for life. I had to help her, I knew I had to.

But then _he_ felt my stare, and whatever brave feeling I might have thought of fulfilling, disappeared. Our eyes met for a fraction of a second, and should I be closer, I would have seen nothing but smug pestilence in his green eyes.

Lorcan smiled wickedly at me, and that was the moment where I viciously ripped away my stare.

I remembered where I was, and who were around me, and though it made warmth return to me, it was to the extent were I felt my cheeks and ears burn horribly. I couldn't help the Hufflepuff girl, and that felt as awful as any other humiliation I had suffered before.

My first instinct was to wish for the safety under the covers of my bed, my sanctuary since September.

The freedom of the ensnaring stare didn't feel as good as it should have, for the Gryffindor boys were now looking at Mulciber. Whether they had noticed the perversion Lorcan was sending my way, or my complete dread of it, I don't know. Either way, the four boys had stopped walking to turn back and glare at who had gotten my attention.

"He's looking for a good beating," James said. He was the only one of the Marauders that was standing next to me, as the others were facing me a few steps forward. I had not noticed when they stopped walking. James' statement made me quiver, and it was really hard to get my gently shaking arms to stop. The last thing I would want in life was anyone having to face Lorcan Mulciber, even less if it was for me. Whatever personal beef the Gryffindor boys might have against him, I was very glad I hadn't told any of them about my problems with the Slytherin Prefect. Hell, I didn't even tell Lily, and it was primary for the fact that she would gladly accept the confrontation I so desperately ran away from. As it turned out, I knew all my Gryffindor friends would fight, if not they would encourage me into doing it myself. However, I knew I didn't have the backbone for it, and I buried those thoughts away as James continued speaking. "What's wrong with him?"

Sirius took a step forward, the move making him the closest to Mulciber, even considering that we were a considerable distance away. Pulling his wand out from a pocket within his school robes, he began to twirl it in his hand. "Perpetual constipation, if you ask me."

My eyes didn't leave the wand, as Sirius made it do circles in the air with his fingers. It was a declaration, one that everyone, should they look, would see that he wasn't afraid to fight. That he only needed a motive to start shooting spells and hexes. Before I realized, he stopped the movements, and I looked up to see that he had his eyes on me. When they left Mulciber I don't know, but Sirius attention was on me for a moment. I didn't say anything, though a part of me was screaming at him to stop; to get the rest of the Marauders moving again, and to take me with them. If he could tell I was uncomfortable, I couldn't tell, he looked back a Mulciber with an intense glare I didn't know what caused. He didn't put his wand away.

With a cautionary hand placed on Sirius' shoulder, I saw Remus smile at him. I marveled at how the Gryffindor Prefect managed to keep his cool, when I was beginning to shake again. "Is that what it's called?"

"Someone should really invent a cure for that, don't you think Moony?" Sirius remarked slyly, ignoring the question and looking at his friend full in the face. Something passed between them, much as many other secrets that I could never understand. At that moment, as the two looked at each other, I felt an arm snake around one of mine, and I turned to see it was Peter. When he moved to my side pushing pass James, I don't know, but the touch calmed my agitated heart a bit.

"You'll singlehandedly save the world if you come up with it, Padfoot." This was said by James, who sported a face that looked like it was ready for business as he stood with his arms crossed. I cursed myself, as I held tighter to Peter's arm watching the Quidditch Captain. This was all my fault. Everything was my fault. If I hadn't stopped, if I hadn't been trapped by the horrible sight that was Lorcan Mulciber, the Gryffindor guys would had never seen the exchanged passed between us two. They would have never seen the pure evil Lorcan radiated toward me, or how it affected me if I hadn't been stupid enough to look at him.

Now we stood there, in a tense atmosphere I had caused, that wanted no other thing but to be culminated with a wizard duel. For if Sirius intended to do something, then he would do it and the only one capable of truly stopping him would be James. And as I stood there, clutching to Peter, and staring at the other three boys, I knew James would do no such thing. He looked willing to fight with his friend.

"I think it's i-impossible." Peter piped up, appearing to not want to be left out of the conversation, and his input broke the tense ambience. At least for me it did. The other boys didn't acknowledge his words; they were still passing looks around each other. I looked away. That was something I wasn't part of, and I would be an idiot if I tried to figure out what they were sending to one another. When I gathered the bravado to look up again to the bane of my existence, Mulciber and the Hufflepuff girl had already walked away, heading for the Great Hall. I watched their backs move away from us, and it made me release a much needed sigh of release.

That I would see him again in short hours didn't make me feel any better, so I ignored the hell of it in favor of a relaxed moment.

"I-I don't think you can cure purebloods." Peter said struggling to put himself in the conversation with his friends, though they weren't talking anymore.

But it did manage to get Sirius' attention, and he tucked his wand into a pocket as he looked away from his friends. "Don't be so sure, Wormtail. Prongs' beating idea seems like a promising start. I'm sure even Snivellus would benefit from it."

"Cure or no cure, I'm sure it wouldn't have any effect on _him_." I said feeling more valiant than before, though of course there was little point to it now. I looked at each at the boys, and though there was nothing in Remus and James' face that threatened to make the atmosphere tense again, looking at Sirius' eyes didn't ease me. He gazed at me, half bored, but with a sort of vigilance I didn't like. For a split second, his stare reminded me of the one Mulciber often sent me, and the thought of running away came back to my mind. I patted Peter's arm away from mine as I took a step away from them, trying not to be bothered by the sad face he gave me as I moved. "I'll see you tomorrow, alright?"

"Won't you eat with us?" James pointed toward the double doors of the Great Hall, just as a small group of students went in. They were the rest of the Gryffindor Quidditch team; wearing their practice robes like James and Sirius, they were walking a little away from us earlier.

"I have Slug Club."

"So soon already?" He messed his hair as he spoke. My news lit up his face like only Lily Evans or good mischief could, and all my ill feelings from before deflated a tad. James sure had a knack of emulating happiness. It was clear by how I felt with the sight of his smile, and the one it cause on Remus by his side that even with his sickness, he looked captivated by it too. "Can't be helped. I'll see you later then."

I nodded before hurrying away to my House.

* * *

Elves came to scurry away with the dessert plates, and I leaned back on my chair. I had taken care of my starvation, and the bloated sensation it left me with was the greatest feeling in the world. Beside me, Professor Slughorn was doing the same, his round belly pressing slightly against the edge of the table, as he rested heavily on the back of his chair. On my other side sat Lily. I could hear her respectful chatter. As I turn to look at her, I watched as she smiled at Nina Bagnold, who giggled at something the Gryffindor said.

There was more talk around the table, all conscious on the social etiquette that was required of the club, and how smug it made the Professor look as he gazed around the table. Whenever Slughorn spoke, most polite conversations would end as his booming voice demanded attention, and his chest puffed in a pompous way. "Regulus, how is your father doing? Has his condition gotten better?"

"Yes, Professor. Mother said in her last letter that he's back to his normal self." I saw as Regulus spoke. He had his normal air aristocracy around him, graciously courteous as always, but at the mention of his father he seemed even more so.

"Mumblemumps, annoying piece of work." Slughorn said to me, as he leaned a bit closer. I nodded my head as I sign that I agreed with him. He had insisted I sit to his left for dinner, and though I wasn't sure if his reasons had anything to do with favoritism or whatever, I had jumped at the invitation. The furthest away I was from my Housemates during the club meeting the better, and right now, most of them sat on the other side of the table to me. Slughorn went to speak over the table again, leaning forward with a smile to Regulus, and to grab his goblet. "Wonderful news. Send my regards to Orion and to your mother, of course."

I looked up at Regulus, as he had been the center of attention for the moment, receiving respectful wishes for the well being of his father. He had nodded gracefully at Slughorn and to all else, and when all the wishes were uttered, he turned to the person sitting next to him. Between Regulus and Snape was Lorcan Mulciber, his shoulders impossibly straight and his head held high as he sat there, basking in the eternal glory of being a pureblood. It made me sick to admit that he looked very charismatic, as he whispered something at Snape. His blonde hair was pulled back, and opposite reflection to the two boys that sat to each side of him, both of which let their dark tresses roam free against their cheeks.

My look lasted only a second, but it was enough to get Lorcan's attention on me like it did a mere couple hours ago.

I could feel his eyes boring into me, harsh and demanding, as malicious as always. I tried desperately to resist it, the urge to look up and see him, but it became unbearable. Looking up with what I thought was an inconspicuously small glance, I saw I had his unwavering attention again. From the other side of the table, I felt the coldness of his green eyes, as they assaulted me with their malevolent intentions.I felt trapped, like earlier, like always.

Slightly squirming in my seat, I pressed my hand over a pocket of my robes, the one where I always liked to carry my wand. The connection made me feel slightly better, and I wondered why I didn't normally do that. Sirius had done it before. Though his motive was more to show off his daring nature than to give himself strength, he had by instinct reached out for his wand. I should do the same always, if it appeared to work as it had done.

At that moment, Slughorn pulled his chair back and stood, inviting us all to join him by the fireplace for profound conversation, as he liked to refer to it.

* * *

Lily and I were the very last to leave, as per usual.

We always tended to stay back, for my benefit and to avoid having any of my Slytherin housemates standing behind me and so the hallway would be bare of anyone and we could talk in privacy. Slughorn didn't mind, got him leisure time to speak to his two favorites about any matter he pleased, without the possibility of any of us getting in trouble. Lily was a Prefect and I was a stairway away from Merlin's door. A win-win for our social interactions.

Passing through the door of the professor's office after copious goodnight wishes, Lily and I walked a bit further unto the hallway to our normal talking spot. The corridor empty of any of the Slug Club member, we stood there pleasantly.

"Did you finish the Charms essay?" I asked as soon as it popped into my mind.

Not really surprised with my topic of conversation, since it was mostly what I droned on and on in my daily day to day, Lily nodded. "Do you need help with yours?"

"I just need someone to revise it before turning it in." I was getting comfortably more accustomed to my school work, and the teachers had apparently noticed. They had given me special treatment since I arrived at Hogwarts with the promise that I would stride toward achieving the normal NEWT student status, and be treated like everyone else. I was getting there, and with it came more expectant professors, that demanded nothing but perfection from me. And though I liked the idea of it, the stress was still overwhelming most of the time. The only one to not put me in such stress was Slughorn. Hence the reason he was still my favorite teacher, and I went to his meeting when I could be doing something more productive with that time. "Flitwick is getting very stern with my writing."

"I'm sure it must be fine." Lily pressed her back against the wall, and rolled her shoulders against it. What her real motives for the actions were, I'm not sure, but I guessed it had to do with the same thing that kept me awake till the wee hours of the night. I felt bad for adding to her workload, but in my head I told myself that we had already agreed months ago to help each other as much as possible. "Sit with me tomorrow for breakfast and I'll have a look at it."

Having Lily take a look at my assignments was always a matter that gave me happiness, but the invitation to sit with her, made me profoundly happy. Especially when she knew that most times for meals, I was a package deal with a certain group of boys.

Speaking of which, that thought made me suddenly look to each end of the hallway. "Where is James? He's really late."

"What does that matter?" The annoyance in Lily's voice was clearly the one specific brand she saved for James. I often wondered if it had always been like that since they met or if it had evolved as they grew.

"He always comes to walk you to your House." I explained, seriously concern that she had completely forgotten about it. James never missed a night of Slug Club to appear out of nowhere in a flourish of mysterious arrogance. And now that I knew of his secret cloak, his radiant appearances made more sense to me. I wondered what Lily thought of it, and if she had an inclining of his resources. Probably not, if she did she would have already managed to get the cloak taken from him, somehow.

"So?"

"It's kind of sweet."

Lily contorted her face into an expression that led me to believe that she thought that very unlikely. Though not amused, she gave a lazy shrug, whether it was for her lack of caring or refusal to admit that I had a point, she didn't let me see it. "I guess it is."

I looked at each end of the hallway again, waiting to see James coming. I wondered if maybe he was under his invisibility cloak, and I felt stupid trying to see the air move in a dark corridor lighted by a couple of yellow candles. Expecting to be able to see that was too much, especially if I had no idea if he was around. The only reason I could tell about the cloak that one time was because I knew I was being followed. I felt no such thing then, but I did see something strange. It wasn't strange, really; it was however out of the ordinary.

There was light coming from the end of the hallway behind Lily and it made me stare at it. I wondered at it, at the peculiarity of the moment. There was a second where I racked my brain for an answer to the strangeness. It wasn't until I noticed that there were various lights of different colors that I understood what was happening over there.

"Eh, Lily," With the more flashing, I really did wonder how she hadn't noticed. I took a step to be next to her, and then I pulled her arm to make her face the lights. I was sure she would instantly know what was happening.

She didn't spare a second to walk toward the light, gritting her teeth as she went, taking her arm away from my hold. "That better not be what I think it is."

"Wait! Don't go Lily." I said, immediately conscious of a heavy weight settling in the pit of my stomach. It pulled down on my insides horribly, and I cursed myself for showing Lily the spectacle at the end of the hallway. The lights at that time of the night meant only trouble, something I desperately knew I had to avoid. But Lily would do no such thing. She was a Prefect and a Gryffindor, and trouble didn't frighten her the way it did me. I watched her go with no other choice than to follow her.

Her steps were faster and longer than mine, as my unconscious intention was to drag the moment. I did not want to see what was happening, and I had half the mind to turn around to run off to my dorm. However, the flourish of Lily's red hair as she reached the hallways bend, made me a little braver. Every part of her was so majestically strong that even in that moment I marveled at it. The lights were getting more vibrant and blinding with every step I took behind my friend, and it was only her tenacity, the wand she had already drawn, what kept me walking. The last thing I wanted was for her to get hurt. And I wouldn't be able to help her should she get in trouble from the comfort of Slytherin House.

I saw her stare agape at what was happening, holding her wand tightly as she prepared herself ready to shoot whatever spell to end what was most probably a forbidden duel. I pulled my wand out as well, just for the safety of it, not because I planned to do anything with it. There were more jets of scarlet light shooting around and what I could precisely recognize as Sirius Black's barking laugh.

Yes, it was definitely an illegal duel.

Lily's mouth moved to yell something out, but it was overshadowed by an exclamation of pure anger. "I'll make you pay, Black!"

I reached Lily's side, as her yells of cease fire fell on deaf ears.

It took me a moment to get accustomed to the intensity of what was taking place to actually make sense of it. And even then I could barely process it beyond seeing things as they happened. But my first analysis of the situation left me with my heart palpitating at awful speeds. There was wreckage on the ground, dust lingered in the air, and more than one wall of the hallway was damaged with the strength of a poorly aimed or conveniently dodged curse. There were four duelists, though there was one unconscious body sprawled behind one of the opposing parties.

The duel, and the state of those that were fighting was abysmal, there were sweaty brows and clothes, and thin slivers of blood oozing from cuts.

On one side I saw James and Sirius. My eyes went initially to them, for they still wore their red and gold Quidditch practice robes. Their clothes stuck to their bodies with sweat and grime, clear evidence of the intensity of their duel. They panted for air, though it took me second to realize it was not because of the battle. James was doubled over in laughter, adjusting his glasses as they had slipped down his nose. Next to him, Sirius' shoulders shook with his previous laugh, as his arm remained up with his wand.

At that very moment, a yellow jet of light was sent their way, and Sirius, though still sporting a mocking smirk on his face, deflected it with a spell of his own. James controlled himself also, going to help his friend as more curses were thrown their way.

And that brought my attention to their opponents.

Fighting the Gryffindors were Severus Snape and Lorcan Mulciber. As battered down and filthy as James and Sirius, my housemates pointed their wands at my friends, a different array of angry contortions forming in each of their faces. Sweat clung to them as well, and I needed no more indication that they had been fighting for a while. In the absurdity of all that happened in only one moment, I had the thought that they must have started the duel, as soon as the Slytherins had come out of Slug Club. The thought that it wasn't that much time circled around my head, but then I noticed what Sirius and James had been laughing about.

Snape kept shooting at both the Gryffindor boys, even when he was wearing ducks for shoes. From where I stood petrified, and unnoticed by Lily's side, they looked like real live ducks. Brown, white and green feathered, the two ducks had Severus' feet stuck into their backs, and they quacked their desperation with every step they were forced to take.

The hallway echoed with the horrible sounds of the duck shoes, joining the eruptions the jets of light made when they collided and James and Sirius' laughter.

Mulciber, who had been sending his own spells on the side, stumbled into Adrian Flint who I then recognized as the person unconscious on the floor. The thought that at some point before Lily and I got there the fight had been uneven angered me a tad. But then Lorcan darted forward, and pointed at Severus shoes. With one last quack, they went back to normal. And so with a look, both Slytherins turned to their opponents, shouting curses with renew determination.

"Impedimeta!' Lorcan wheeled around and screamed, though his spell missed as he was forced to dodge what looked to me to be a Body-Bind Curse sent his way by James.

In retaliation, Snape sent James flying to the other side of the hallway, with what I could only assume was an Expulso curse. I watched as James soared back, barely missing hitting the archways of the ceiling to land in a painful manner on the floor. He struggled to find the balance to get up, and should it had been me I don't think I would have been able to do it immediately after falling. But James Potter did, and once he was up, he fired jet after jet of light, each aiming to any of his two opponents.

"Alright Prongs?" Sirius yelled back, not being able to look back to his friend's state or even follow his fall as he had soared. Snape and Mulciber had taken all of his attention.

"You know it." James shouted back.

"It's rude to ignore your opponent." Lorcan sneered after casting a Stunning Spell that collided against a stone wall. No one had noticed me or Lily standing by, staring transfixed at what was happening, but the sound of Mulciber's voice, and his darting around made me hold my wand tighter.

Snape couldn't resist joining in with a jab. "Need a break, Black?"

"I was about to ask you that, Snivellus." Sirius had been holding both Slytherins during the time it took James to get up and return to his side. And I found that truly amazing, as I watched him pant for air. In that time, Sirius had ducked and darted around; evading each fast hex Lorcan sent his way.

As James neared his friend, deflecting spells Snape sent him, Lorcan managed to hit Sirius with a Stinging Jinx. Sirius fell on his back clutching his shoulder where it had hit them, earning a perverse smirk from the Slytherin. The Quidditch practice robes were lose to allow more fluid movements, but as Sirius clutched at it, I could see show his shoulder swelled under it, stretching the fabric. If the jinx had left a scorch mark, as it was known to do, it couldn't be seen through the Gryffindor red of the robes.

Trying to protect his friend as he was down, James fought of the two Slytherins, but his attack wasn't strong enough to keep Lorcan from nearing Sirius. My eyes got stuck on Mulciber. He was an imposing figure, with his blond hair in a majestic tangled mess and a broken lip. I couldn't look away, and my heart froze when I saw his lips move with the curse he uttered. He would never say it aloud, it was forbidden, but I saw as his lips formed the word _Crucio_.

Sirius yelled his pain out as soon as the curse hit mark, just as James reached him. He anguished in his spot on the stone floor, contorting his body in a pale reflection of the inner pain he was feeling.

A part of me screamed at myself to do something then as I stared. I should help, I could do. But instead of moving, I looked up to Lorcan. I don't know what I expected to see, however I sure as hell did not expect to recognize an expression in him I had only seen back in September. His eyes were mad with the power of pain, as he pointed his wand at one of my friends again.

I'm not sure what had gotten over Lily when her eyes had landed on the fight. She had been as transfixed as me of the occurrence, and though only a matter of minutes had gone by since we got there from our spot in front of Slughorn's office, she had done nothing. The flaring of her hair and the hold on her wand earlier had let me to believe that she had been prepared to jump into the fray as soon as she could. Yet she had not. She had watched, her eyes darting around the same as mine, abysmally surprised. However, Mulciber's previous curse, and Sirius' grunts of pain brought out her commando self.

My eyes went instantly to her, and I saw as Lily took a better hold of her wand, pointed it and then shouted. "Baubillious!"

In a second a bright, yellow-white bolt of lightning erupted from her wand. It flew from the tip of her wand as she pointed it away. Her spell broke the space between the two bands of duelists as she threw it against the opposing wall. The light broke against it with a fury of sound, deafening to the ears and engulfing every corner with blinding white light.

For me, it took a moment to realize that her spell was more of a diversion than anything else, as I shielded my eyes from the hurting light. There were grunts and exclamations of pain suspended in the air. Lily's plan had seemed to work. The fighting had stop, there were no more clashing of spells. After the light began to fade and I could slowly begin to see, I noticed Lily moving as she yelled four Full Body-Bind curses in a row, each meant for a different boy. The same way my sight had returned, so did the duelists, and all of them managed to miss her intended spell. Using the momentum of Lily's tries to get the situation under control, Lorcan Mulciber continued his attack on the Gryffindor boys.

Severus and James were taken back, I saw, as their vision returned and they turned to the fiery goddess that had joined the fight.

But Lily, or my presence didn't bother the other two, and it was evident as Sirius retaliated to Mulciber's attack. The hex bounced off the one Sirius threw to counter it, and it collided against a stone pillar, shattering half of it and sending rock debris through the hallway.

I shielded myself with my arms, taking a step back out of sheer preservation. Small rocks hit me all over, and I had to put a hand over my nose and mouth to not inhale the dirk cloud that rose from the smash. When I looked up to the battle again, I saw as Sirius scrambled to his feet, wand held tightly in his hand. James yelled after him, something I couldn't quite understand, as Lily once more casted spells close to me. I watched as Sirius ran in the direction of Lorcan, missing one of Lily's Body-Bind curses by an ear. Mulciber tried to direct his wand to the coming Gryffindor, but was unable to do so as Sirius' full body smashed against his.

I heard an out of breath groan, as the force behind Sirius' run sent both he and Lorcan back a couple steps. They evaded losing their footing somehow, as the Gryffindor pulled away to land a punch on the Slytherin's face.

Caught off guard by the physical attack, Mulciber could do nothing, not even push Sirius Black away, as he was assaulted for a second time, straight on his jaw.

"Expulso!" Snape yelled again, standing behind his fellow housemate, this time directing at Sirius. I hadn't noticed when he rejoined the duel, but he didn't appear to be fazed anymore by Lily's presence. If anything, his resolve was more set as he pushed his hair out of his face. Just as Sirius was thrown back to where James was darting around to not be hit, Severus had to throw himself to the floor to evade one of Lily's spells.

James helped Sirius get back on his feet, clutching at his robes and arm to pull him up. In the span of a second, as they balanced each other out, something passed between them. Like always, I had no idea what went between them, I wasn't too close to even try to understand, if ever I could, but I watched the two boys as they nodded at one another. In a fluid, natural movement, James and Sirius retaliated to their opponent, both firing their own spells like expert duelist.

At that very moment, first Sirius and then James were hit by Lily's petrification spells. In almost a comedic way, both Gryffindors' arms and legs snapped together, and then fell on their backs to the ground, looking as stiff as a board.

I turned to watch Lily's face, as she resisted the urge to let a smile be born in her face. I didn't know how to feel about that, but I didn't feel any sort of good when she ran forward to face Snape and Mulciber on her own. She was as brave as ever, true to the House she had been destined to be placed in, but all that bravado died, as soon as the situation took a turn none would had imagined.

When I looked, I was shocked too.

I had received many shocks in my life, all the ten months of it I could remember; my first experience in the world of magic, the reveal of my extraordinary heritage and all the burdens that came with it, everything about Hogwarts, my two-faced housemates, and the secrets of the Marauders, but nothing was as shocking as watching Lorcan Mulciber's head growing out off its normal proportions.

It had been either James' or Sirius' spell; I couldn't recalled for I was not even sure if I had seen, but one of the Gryffindors' attack had reached its mark. Mulciber clutched at it with his hands, being dwarfed by the alarmingly fast growing of his head. As my stare remained on him only, I saw what I could only assumed was desperation, as he pressed his hands against both sides of his temple, as if the pressure would help stop the growth.

When it was four times its normal size, Lorcan let out a concern sounding moan as he began to stumble on his feet. He moved from side to side, holding his head in what appeared to be a dance. It wasn't until I saw Severus Snape dart forward that I realized the severity of the situation. Snape grabbed hold of the enormous head by putting a hand under each cheek, giving his strength to keep it up, as Mulciber tried hard to keep his balance.

"Help me!" Lorcan yelled to his fellow Slytherin, allowing his true feelings to shine through on what was happening. He was as worried as I was beginning to be. As comedic as the situation looked for a second, it didn't change the fact that the weight of the huge head could cause horrible, irreplaceable damage.

As atrocious as Mulciber had been to me, he didn't deserved to die like that.

I went to Lily, making her turn to me. What I saw in her worried me even more and the words she spoke to me chilled me to the bones. "I should do something."

Her dry whisper didn't make me feel any better, nor did it show any confidence in her. What was there left for us to do if Lily Evans wasn't confident that she could manage to do anything at all? Raising her wand, I watched her grip on it tighten as her arm had begun to shake. Instantly she threw a counter curse, the jet of light making way to Mulciber, but it bounced off the colossal nose.

Feeling the spell, two giant eyes were directed to the caster's direction, and by association as I was standing right next to Lily, they landed on me.

I didn't need any petrification curse to render me immobile. As once more in the same day I was trapped in those particular green eyes of his, I had a different feeling than before. There was no maliciousness or any sort of other bad intent in his eyes. For the very first time since before the fateful night in September, Lorcan looked at me with a less frightful emotion, one that for a second had me wishing that I could help him.

Then I watched Snape wobble, and it was only then that I noticed that he, like Mulciber, was straining under the weight of the ever growing bigger head.

Something hit my arm, making me stumble, and it took me a moment to figure out it had been Lily as she hurried away, tucking her wand into her robes as she went. I saw as she stood next to Severus, and with uncertain shaky hands, she held on to a side or Lorcan's head.

Lily turned to me, her eyes wide with panic. "Get a teacher!"

I scrambled away immediately.

. . .


	30. Chapter 30: After

**AN:** Okay, so it's been like a month since I've posted and that makes me feel horrible. I lost my writing groove somewhere. I've been desperately trying to get it back, but my personal life is making it hard. Not to worry I'll keep trying.

Since it's been so long from my last post back in April and chapter 30 was taking me forever to finish, I decided to post what I have done so far. I feel that by doing this it'll help me. I'll be moving forward in a sense, when for weeks I've been feeling stuck.

Of this chapter I will say that it's missing a part in the end. It'll seem like it doesn't and that's the main reason I decided on posting. My friend, litzyreads already read what I'm gonna post and she said it seemed complete like a chapter. So I'm doing that.

* * *

 **Chapter 30:** After

I hadn't been able to get a wink of sleep, so when a house elf came to aside of my bed with a message from Dumbledore, it was more of a relief than a bother.

The girls in my dorm were still asleep, and would likely wake at any minute, so I hurried around, making an effort of being silent. The last thing I needed was for them to see me awake that early, or even worst, try to question me about where I was going at that hour.

It had been very long night and I repressed four yawns before I was ready to leave my dorm. With the fear of Lorcan's colossal head breaking his neck, I ran to Professor Slughorn's office and banged on his door. He had been in the middle of getting ready for bed when he answered, wearing a green velvet dressing gown and his nightcap firmly placed on his balding head. Regardless of my interruption, he gave me his ear and only lollygagged to hastily prepare a potion that might stop and reverse the process I described to him. I jumped from feet to feet as I waited for him. After I sent him in the right direction, Slughorn demanded I went for Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall, and bring them. Then, he ran down the hallway.

A full hour later, Lily, James, Snape and I sat in front of Dumbledore in his office. Lorcan's head had been deflating as Pomfrey took him and Adrian Flint to the Hospital Wing in magically produced stretchers. McGonagall followed as she pulled Sirius after them, while he cradled his scorched shoulder.

Sporting minor cuts and bruises, James and Snape answered all of the Headmaster's questions, though in my opinion they were vague. They didn't give any particular reasons as to why they dueled, not beyond renowned house rivalry. In a sense, I guessed they weren't being untruthful, though I hadn't witness much of it, I did know that they hated each other's guts. However, I was waiting for the fingers to be pointed in my direction. My hands would turn into fists without me noticing, shaking. A part of me, right or wrong, knew that I had something to do in the situation that had occurred, and it was ungodly horrible to sit behind James as he explained what had happened without mentioning me.

Lily and I had to answer a score of questions too, but other than recollecting our view on the fighting, there wasn't much for us to say.

There was a matter in the interrogation that shocked me, or better yet the lack of it.

No one, not even Lily mentioned the use of an Unforgivable Curse during the duel, and I wondered at it. I, as I'm sure Severus as well, didn't say anything because then we would have been selling out our House. Slytherins did practice some dark curses in the Dueling Society meetings, and that was a complete secret, that even I had kept from Dumbledore deliberately. But I was surprised at Lily and James. They must had noticed the pain Lorcan casted at Sirius, and they both were exceptional students, I'm sure then they wouldn't need to had read Mulciber's lips to noticed the curse he had used. The fact of the matter was that neither said anything, and I let me thinking that maybe I was overestimating my Gryffindor friends. Maybe in the insanity of the duel, they hadn't noticed like I did. But it was obvious that Sirius must know, if he recognized the effects he had suffered, and would undoubtedly tell Dumbledore.

After a sermon directed at James and Snape, they got points deducted from their Houses, only for Lily and I to get awarded the same amount. It was a fact that I found completely useless. Then we were sent back to our Houses.

With the message the elf had delivered, I traversed the castle in the direction of Dumbledore's office. I couldn't really guess the reason why I was being called again. It couldn't be for another interrogation, for I had nothing more to add. There was nothing more I wanted to add, but if I received the summoning, then I was sure so had Lily and even James. And I did want to see them.

Entering the gargoyle corridor, my legs reminded me of just how much running I had done during the night, and before I came upon the Headmaster's griffin staircase, I had to take a moment to gather my strengths back. I slouched next to a gargoyle, using it to balance myself. Running during the full moon tired me out, but it was nothing to the pain I was feeling. My desperate dash to get help during the night had me running all around Hogwarts, and I was truly surprised I was able to get out of bed and make it as far without my legs giving away.

When I was ready to move again, I didn't. I saw the gargoyle guarding the Headmaster's office moved to the side, and two adults came down the staircase.

They were dressed impeccably, their robes the epitome of what must be a great fortune. They were a couple, a man and a woman beautiful to a fault, and as elegant as only pure-born wizards and witches could live up to be. The man, wearing grey robes with intricate embroidered designs was fair-haired, a clear contrast to the woman to his side, who's dark sun-kissed brown hair went expertly coordinated with her rich navy blue robes. When they reached the end of the staircase they interlocked arms, and with that I had no doubt as to whom the couple were.

They could only be Lorcan's parents.

"Petty house rivalry duels, _aïe_. This school is nothing but a bother." Mrs. Mulciber said with a pinched look on her beautiful face, holding to her husband. At the sound of her voice, I hid behind the closest gargoyle sculpture. She continued speaking, her accent making her words a little hard for me to understand. " _Mon pauvre bébé_. This wouldn't have happened at _Beauxbatons_."

Mr. Mulciber sported a face devoid of any feeling, and a glance his way from my spot was enough to let me see that Lorcan had inherited most of his looks from him. As well as the ability to contort his face into nasty expressions. "Don't start."

As I hid, I wondered at my actions, looking down at my feet. What reason did I have to hide? They didn't know me; they had no way of knowing if I had something to do with their son. Sure, maybe they had heard my name at some point, either by being mentioned by Dumbledore because of what happened, or by their son, but they shouldn't know my face. It was a preposterous thought, I realized instantly my stomach lurching, thinking that they might have heard of me from Lorcan when there was barely any reason for it. They went pass the gargoyle I was behind, and if they knew I was there, none of the two said anything or gave indication of it.

Mrs. Mulciber gave another displeased expression as she went, speaking again in a language I didn't understand. " _Vous devez faire quelque chose_."

"Of course, I'll do something!" Mr. Mulciber spat. "Dumbledore hasn't seen the last of us."

They kept on talking, hushing their tone as they went, probably heading in the direction of the Hospital Wing. The tones they spoke off weren't really nice, making me wonder if they always were like that. I stared at their retreading form, not questioning at all that they were definitely Lorcan's parents, and that I had no intention of ever being in a situation in which I had to meet them.

When the hallway was empty, I came out of my hiding spot and went to speak the password to Dumbledore's office.

* * *

The Headmaster's reason for summoning us to his office was, in my opinion a total waste of time. All he did was inform us on how the situation will play out, for he said it was imperative that we remained silent about what happened. Then he went to say that no doubt every student would know of what happened before lunch, so his words only annoyed me.

Then again by being called to the office for no important reason, I had the privilege to not be kept in the dark, and that was better than nothing.

However, my guess the summoning had something to do with Lorcan's parents. The Headmaster said nothing, but in my opinion it was just his way to get the parents out of his office. It worked, though Lily wasn't too happy about it.

She, Snape and James had been summoned too, but they had arrived before me therefore they were subjected to the Mulcibers' glares. Except for Snape of course, who didn't seem perturbed as he went down the griffin stairs after the Headmaster gave us permission to leave. My guess was that Lily knew very well that the Mulcibers had recognized her as a muggle-born, and had treated her as pureblooded wizards and witches from old prestigious families tended to treat people of her situation.

If James had been perturbed by something I had been late to witness it, I couldn't tell. He walked behind us as we climb down the stairs, curiously silent and uninterested on bringing attention to himself considering Lily Evans was right in front of him.

I threw a glance back at him, a little worried about his somber manner. His face was still marred with the product of his fight, his left cheek and bottom lip looked particularly bruised. The way he went down the stairs behind me was intentionally paced and tense, giving me a clear read that his body must had been sore from the had hurried away from us in the same manner.

My eyes met with James' as I stepped into the gargoyle corridor. The connection of our stares made me turn to him to watch as, he too, walked pass the griffin statue.

It was an awkward moment, as we stood watching each other, waiting for the other to show some kind of reaction. James' bruised face was tensed up, his brows almost knitting together in concentration as he looked at I stared, wondering what his expression meant, I realized that I didn't feel anything. There was no irritation, resentment, concern or any other sensation. I just stood there empty, looking at my friend trying to come up with a reason as to why I was devoid of any feelings. Maybe it was the marathon I had run through the night, or the stress the situation had made me work with as I ran the castle to knock on McGonagall's door. Or maybe I just didn't care.

I wondered at myself and if indeed I was capable of not caring. For a moment it seemed impossible, though I couldn't go against what was happening inside of me. I went over the nights events; hell I started with that first stare I had fallen into sharing with Lorcan and then I went all the way to the current moment. The fighting, Lorcan Mulciber, and Sirius suffering the Cruciatus Curse and my desperate dash to save my greatest enemy mixed up together inside me. And then it started.

Slowly, as our stare continued I began to feel something. It was a rise from deep within, a fiery thing that touched all parts of my body, and for a second had me forgetting who I was. I was angry. I couldn't help it as it invaded me. It wasn't the kind of anger that would have me screaming at James or at Sirius, but it was enough to be simmering inside of me. Mainly, I was sure that it stemmed from my indifference and that confusing turn only made me feel worst.

James appeared to notice something, making me wonder if already my face showed my growing feelings. In part I wasn't mad at him; my anger was directed at everything really, and I liked to think that he knew that. His expression had been the same since I saw him up at the Headmaster's office. That somber resolve that every time I saw it I grew more accustomed to. He had every reason to be that way; he was probably worried about his friend.

His responsible mode met with my anger. It was with those two expressions of ours colliding in the space between us that James gave a sigh, tried to force a smile, failed and then began to walk away. All in the span of a second.

"Where are you going, Potter?" Lily Evans said, bringing me back from whatever place I had gone to. Her interruption made my anger lessen, and I question if it was even right for me to feel that way. Lily certainly was boiling, though she appeared most times like that toward James. She had a pretty rough night too. The whole prospect of holding a giant head from breaking the neck it sat on, must had been even more horrible to deal with than what I went through.

"Hospital Wing." James gave no other explanation nor did he wait for any sort of reply. He just went down the corridor, his hands buried into his pockets and his school robes billowed behind him.

I knew he was going to see to Sirius. He hadn't even need to say it, I knew James was worried about his best friend, and even if he hadn't already seen him outside of visiting hours, he would want to be with Sirius every moment possible he was in the Hospital Wing. Even with my simmering anger, I couldn't keep the worry from over shadowing it, so I called after James, relenting my emotions aside. "I'm going with you."

"Faraday!" Next to me, Lily sounded surprise, though I didn't understand why. It was an obvious matter really.

James already walked away a considerable amount of distance, but he stopped when I spoke. I turned to Lily. She stared at me with bewilderment, asking with her wide eyes in a way I could understand because I had spent months as her friend. I could already tell just by staring into her gorgeous green eyes her question, and it surprised me that I had to speak it out. Surely she would know.

"He's going to see Sirius." I told her.

She made a regretful face, as if she had just realized something she knew was obvious, and nodded her head in understanding. With a pat on her arm as a form of parting, I left her and jogged to catch up to James.

With matching strides, we walked to the Hospital Wing in silence.

Normally, I didn't mind walking in silence with James Potter. Heck, sometimes it was even relaxing and enjoyable, a testimony of the passage of time and how our friendship was growing. Before, I had only felt that comfortable with Lily and Peter. Now I could add James and the rest of the Marauders. However, with what happened the night before, I couldn't claim to be so relaxed as I walked. In all honesty, my angry feelings were resurfacing but if it was because of James or the space I had to think, I didn't know.

Hogwarts was beginning to wake up as we made our way to the Hospital Wing. The Grand Staircase was already moving around sending stray groggy students to incorrect destinations and I wondered how long would it be for the school to be echoing with retellings of what happened. I questioned Dumbledore's conviction on the fact that even when we were supposed to keep the fight a secret, the students would end up knowing anyway. Was the Headmaster going to propagate the tale himself? Did he expect James or Sirius to do so, or the staff, because I was sure as hell that Snape and less of all Mulciber would be telling anyone of what happened. It was annoying to think that in a couple of hours people would be twisting around the story, when even I had no idea of the main reason for it.

It had kept the sleep from me, and made me wonder all night the reason as to why it had happened. I didn't want to put myself on a role of importance, I found it vain and self-centered, but the thought bounced around my head harder and harder with every second and the one thing that silenced it for the moment was the house elf waking me up.

I felt like it had been my entire fault. The fight and its outcome had been a product of me bringing attention the hate Lorcan Mulciber felt toward me. And James and Sirius, acting out their brave and chivalrous Gryffindor-selves had taken upon themselves to defend my honor. I felt stupid just thinking about it, though I couldn't keep it from sounding like it was correct. It angered me, boiled me over more than my earlier indifference to the matter had. For the boys to put themselves in danger was a horrible idea, but one that wasn't far fetched. For them to do so for me was downright frightening. It was the whole reason I had kept my feelings to myself, why I never spoke of what occurred and kept on occurring with Lorcan Mulciber.

The anger rose up from my toes to the ends of my hair, leaving uncomfortable goosebumps in their wake. However, their lingering effect were affected by James.

"You're not mad at us too are you, like Evans?" His still had his hands in his pockets as he looked forward. His normal messy hair was beginning to lose its volume, dropping to frame James' forehead like a fringe would. That little detail made me wonder when was the last time he passed his hand through his hair, and if really his concern toward Sirius was enough to make him damper his style.

A part of me wanted to say yes, scream it at him, but that only lasted a second. How could I when he was like that? I decided to look away less I squint my eyes at him. "I wish last night hadn't happened."

I didn't want to look at his face or whatever I might think could be found in his expression. He answered me in a confident tone, not as confident as he could get, yet certain enough to get me to believe his words to be undoubtedly true. "Snape had it coming and the other two didn't make things any better."

I had a weird feeling, one that came from the mention of Severus. James had listed him as his main reason for dueling, yet where did that leave me? I racked my brain for answers, instead of doing the logical thing and talking to my friend. However I wasn't sure if I wanted to voice out my feeling, less of all to James Potter, even if I trusted him. I momentary looked his way, saw him sending me side glances as we went down to the second floor. That short look made me realized that maybe I was overreacting as I sometimes tended to do. Maybe it wasn't my fault. Maybe I was right to think that putting the blame on myself was vain and self-centered.

James' words lessened my anger and with that I couldn't find anything to say. We walked a bit more before the Gryffindor spoke again.

"What happened between you two, you and Mulciber?" There was a level of uncertaincy in his tone, and if he looked the part I didn't know. At the mention of my greatest torment, I grew stiff, my head down.

I couldn't will myself to say anything. It wasn't for lack of trust or something like that. I simply wasn't able to. My lips didn't move, and even if they could they wouldn't know what words to form. When it had to do with Lorcan my lips sealed themselves up. I had never spoken of the matter to anyone, nor had I ever planned for it. Lily had never asked me, though I was certain she knew I had secret history with the Slytherin Prefect. If she wanted to know then she kept the desire strictly to herself. That was something I was extremely grateful to her about. Though I said nothing, she understood that it wasn't an easy matter for me to even think about, let alone talk about it.

"Sirius is right." I heard James say, bringing me out from my trail of thought with an odd choice of words.

This time, I did look at him. "Huh?"

"That face," He pointed at me with a nod of the head, his eyes behind his glasses, soft and considerate. It warmed my heart, evaporating all the anger I had left for the fact that I had managed to get another friend that looked at me with such beautiful concern. "Filled with anguish and self loathing, only Mulciber makes you do it. I had my doubts."

I felt bad, I really did. It was horrible, the mention that not only him, but Sirius too held concern toward me, and my unconscious reactions toward Lorcan. Well they're not really unconscious, I know very well that I can't control my face that well in those situations. Yet the fact of the matter wasn't that the Marauders had noticed, it was something they had apparently talked about when I was not around. To what extent they had discussed me and Mulciber, I didn't want to know, however it brought back the thought of me being responsible for the fight. It was a thought I couldn't keep away, and though this time I managed to abate my anger from surfacing again, the feelings of dread didn't go away.

That heavy weight in my body didn't leave me as James led the way to pass through the double doors of the Hospital Wing. I looked around the big room, regretful of everything that had happened in my life, until I heard Sirius' loud laugh booming over that of his friends.

He sat of a white bed directly under a window, so that the light of new day illuminated the spot. Remus and Peter were to the side him, sitting on two wooden chairs in their school robes, laughing at something one of them had said. To the other side of the room was another row of beds with white linen sheets. As I neared the boys that had noticed me and James coming, I had to force myself from not searching each bed for a person I didn't want to see. But I wasn't able to, and with a quick glance down the opposite side of the room the boys were I was able to see Adrian Flint resting in one of them. Next to him, on the farthest bed to the door, the curtains were pulled around it and I could barely make out the silhouette of two people. They huddle around the covered bed, and I tried not to think too much of Lorcan Mulciber being there with his parents. I already felt horrible, no need to add to the fire.

The Gryffindor boys greeted James and me with a smile. Sirius, in the look over I gave him as I neared him, seemed completely fine, both in body and spirit. He gave me a bored look for a second, before it evaporated into that grin of his that in worst-case scenarios could mean trouble. I was sure it was harmless in this situation, more of a show of his well being than anything else.

Peter gave me a small wave from the other side of the bed, as I followed James, who was nearing Sirius as much as possible. I stayed back at little, and I gave Peter and Remus each a particular sign of greeting. I thought of sitting with them. I didn't for the sole fact that it seemed too crowded and I was therefore better standing behind the Gryffindor Captain.

Wasting no time, James began fussing over his friend, grabbing Sirius' arm and moving it around to check for his condition. His face, though sporting a worried expression, held elation too. A childish kind of expression, that a look around the bed had me realizing that all the boys held the same. My guess the expression was the product of pent up worry, and now that it was resolve everything was fine. "Does it hurt? What were you given? Is Madam Pom-Pom treating you well?"

James' prying got to the point that Sirius had to push him away, but that was done with a grin.

"No need to fuss, I'll be out today." Sirius' reply made me sigh in relief. I knew I had been worried about him, but the extent of it, I hadn't really known. It put me at ease, for sure, to see him as normal as he had been the day before. Though, a spark of resentment wanted to catch fire to unleash my irritation on him. But I couldn't do it; I hadn't done it to James, less I would do it to someone sitting in a hospital bed. Even less when Sirius looked so pleased and happy as he spoke to his friend. "Well Prongs, what did we get?"

Back standing next to me, James passed a hand through his hair, and if that wasn't enough of a sign that things were back to normal, I would be kidding myself. "Three hours of detention every Monday, Tuesday and Saturday till the end of the semester."

Sirius pressed his hands together; shaking his head with what I could only assume was self-satisfaction. That or insanity. "Wonderful, with Minnie?"

"I sure hope so." James said with a shrug. I stared at the two, and then at the rest of the Marauders and saw that in their face the aftermath of the fight was like a normal day to them. As if everything was alright. Their ability to cause mayhem and walk out of it like nothing of consequence had happened was uncanny. I found myself marveling at it. James fumbled after he spoke, bringing out his wand. With a summoning charm, he brought two chairs from the other side of the room, and offered one to me to sit. I sat and he did the same.

"What about Quidditch?" Peter leaned over Sirius' bed, squealing as he talked with big watery eyes.

"We'll make do with what time we've got." Though his voice seemed resigned to the fact and his body relaxed as he put his legs up on Sirius' bed, it seemed almost impossible that James Potter was okay with time being cut from his Quidditch practice. He should been angrier than I had gotten earlier, spitting insults at everyone, and already planning with strict detail the practice time he would get to have before the next games.

A glance around the Marauders was enough for me to realize that I had been right to think that. Remus for one, like me, didn't look too convinced at his friend. "Not worried at all, James? You're lucky McGonagall likes having the Cup in her office, if not you would have gotten off worst."

"And I say to that Moony, that there's at least one adult in this place with her priorities sorted." James, ever a beacon of smug confidence settled more in his chair, and if there was any sort of doubt over Quidditch, there wasn't any show of it. As far as I knew, he was faking it, and with a look around I knew I wasn't the only one that thought so. One only needed to know James Potter for a short while to know that no matter how confident he appeared, Quidditch was a matter that was not touched upon in any way. It was highly amusing to watch him, and for a moment we were all content just being there until Madam Pomfrey appeared.

"What have are all of you doing here? Mr. Black needs rest if he wants to leave later today." The matron said as she came storming over from the back of the Hospital Wing where her office was located. She sent glance to her other patients as she came our way, but that didn't stop her from shooing us. "Out! Out the lot of you."

It didn't take much for Remus, James and Peter to shoot up from their chairs. Whether it be from past experiences with the matron or actual interest in following her orders, my thoughts lingered in the first reason.

James walked past me in a hurry, making Peter stumble over him to get as far away from Madam Pomfrey as he could. Remus shook his head as he went, probably because he was the most used to the matron's way of being than the others. I stood to follow James again, but something took a hold of my arm. Turning toward the constriction, I saw it was a hand. Sirius' hand to be exact, who leaned forward on the bed to catch a hold of me.

"She needs to leave too." Madam Pomfrey said.

"Give me a moment Pom-Pom." He then winked at her, and with a shake of her head she continued to push Peter, Remus and James out of her Hospital.

With no more interruptions for the moment, Sirius' let go on my arm and sat back on the bed. He eyed me, with a bored look that had me thinking that just maybe it wasn't really one of boredom. Maybe it seemed that way to me, but it could be his analyzing face for all I knew. "You haven't said anything. Are you angry?"

His question wasn't really surprising, nor his expression. I wondered if the silent treatment I had unknowingly showed gave him the impression or if he figured it out by his actions. To tell the truth, as I stood there, I didn't really care that he had fought. Maybe that was another reason to my early indifference. My anger, my negative emotions came from the fact that Lorcan Mulciber had been involved and that it was my fault that both he and Sirius had gotten hurt. Though James had claimed another reason for the duel, I couldn't help the feelings from invading me again, and I had to hold them back. It wasn't fair to unleash them on a person in the hospital, less when I might get in trouble with Madam Pomfrey. "I am"

"Weren't you worried about my poor self?" He gave me a strange look, one that both look childish and reminded me of his dog form.

I resisted giving in to him; a smile would not help me against him. "Only a little."

Sirius leaned forward again, giving me the impression that he would be telling me some great secret. That wasn't the case. "Next Hogsmeade visit I'll buy you loads of sweets to make up."

One more time, I resisted smiling. No use in letting him know that the prospect of him buying me tasty candy would work. It had worked the last time I had been angry at him, and it was doing the same at that very moment. "Should I stay mad at you until then?"

He gave me his best smirk and I had no choice but to give it back, at that moment it was too infectious.

* * *

AN: Next chapter will be short. Short like we haven't had in a while, but I'll be a juicy one.


	31. Chapter 31: April's run

**AN:** I remind you, dear reader, that this part was originally intended to be a part of the last chapter. Hence the reason why it's so short*. Hence the reason why it might seem it comes out of nowhere. Or maybe my timing is off. I don't know.

*(May 24: I wrote this stupid sentence a week ago. Yeah Melanie, it's gonna be short, like you haven't said that before. This was supposed to be part of Chapter 30, but fucking hell it ended up being longer, by almost 300 words! Shit.)

Ignore my rant and enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter 31** : April's run

My naked feet were wet as I touched the stone floors of Hogwarts.

The hem of my nightgown glided against it, dirty with soil and grass, testament of a wonderful night out. The moon had taken over me earlier during the night, leading me away from the comfort of my bed and it had been complete bliss. With every step I had taken from my door to the outside of the castle, I lost myself even more to her embrace.

As always, I entered the Forbidden Forest, and they found me. The pack, my friends.

It was breathtaking. We walked, we ran, we played in the forest like children as we did every full moon, drunk of the ecstasy of it. Hours went by in minutes as our cry of mirth broke through the ceiling of trees, silent witnesses of our adventures.

But on such a magnificent night, our fun ended earlier. Before the moon began to give way for the day to be born, the werewolf had begun to shake. Its transformation had begun for some reason, so the rest of the pack went along with it, to what I could now remember to be the Shrieking Shack. I wondered what it was like for Peter, James and Sirius to go with an unreasonable Remus to that decrepit house and then leave him. What was it like to have to leave a friend suffer his blood curse without being able to do anything further to ease his suffering?

I shivered more from the thought than actual cold, drunk of the moon still. It did no good to linger on things I had no power over, though I wished I did. Hurrying my pace, less I give way for more sad thoughts to invade my head I tried to shake off the effects of the moon that refused to leave me yet. My arms swayed gently as I went tipsy, feeling solace with the loving caresses of my freed hair around my shoulders.

The moon would leave me when she wanted to, I had no power over that either.

I wanted nothing more than to continue the night's adventure, yet it wasn't the same without the pack. I had no choice but to glide back into my bed as rationality was slowly returning to me, and it required stealth. I strained my ear for the telltale signs of Peeve's nightly mayhems, or the soft purrs of Mrs. Norris. The hallways I passed through were empty, a matter that made a smug smile tickle my face. Not once had the poltergeist or the cat, or even Mr. Flitch caught me on a night of a full moon, and not once had I had any close calls with them. The school hallways were always empty when Morgana's blood took over. There were no teachers or students or patrolling Prefects ready to spring out of a corner and uncover my monthly trip to the Forbidden Forest.

With a faster pace, for now I wanted to use the couple hours I had left to sleep off the still lingering effects of the moon, I neared and neared Slytherin House. The archway that led down to my house got ever closer and I tried not to think of the portrait I would need to face in order to reach my bed. Merlin was becoming increasingly stubborn about how much control Morgana's blood had in me, to the point that I begun to avoid him whenever possible. I even went as far as to try to leave and enter the common room trailing behind groups of students. I wouldn't be able to do that this time. I was alone and he was the only obstacle keeping me from my bed. He would pry, as he always did when I came upon his portrait alone after the full moon.

I was reaching the opening of the staircase that led down to the dungeons when for the first time in months, I was caught.

"Nolan."

The cold of the night left me, and my breath quickened. He had a particular way of saying my name, and though I took a moment to register that I was called, I knew who the voice belong to. I hadn't seen him hiding in the shadows as I passed him on my way to the stairs, and by Merlin's beard I should had!

I turned around slowly.

A surge went up and down my body, crippling everything it touched on its way. I didn't understand why it happened, but from my dirty naked feet to my wild hair nestling against my shoulders a bolt of lightning passed. Devastating and strangely pleasurable, I shuddered, conscious that it was the product of my ancient mother's blood. Nothing other than the moon could make me feel something like it in the state I still was, and considering who caused it, it was no surprise to me.

Watching me, Lorcan Mulciber stood paces away.

But not for long.

It took only a second after I acknowledged his presence for him to make his move. He had one hand pressed into a pocket of his trousers, while the other moved in accord to his stride. It had been months since I had seen him in anything but school robes, and the simple trousers and button up shirt made him a sight to be beheld. His blond hair was untied over his shoulders, an odd sight for me that brought my attention to his face. Mulciber's face twisted in that one way that only he could do, turning handsome features into one reminiscing of a beast. A beast prowling for prey and I didn't need to hear him speak to know that I was what he hunted. "I got into a lot of trouble thanks to _your friends_."

My stare was on him. It didn't waiver, even when a conscious part of me tried to make it so as answer to the vileness of his words. My normal self would have looked away immediately, but I wasn't in that state. The moon's power lingered through my veins, making what I saw in his eyes, the hate they held for me only, root me to the spot in the middle of the hallway, interested. "That wasn't my fault."

A wave of satisfaction washed over me as the words left my mouth in that voice that wasn't quite mine. In the light haze of my lingering full moon delirium, I could remember all the resentment I had held toward myself as I laid the blame of the boys' fight on no one other than me. I had no clue how long it would last, but as of that moment, I placed myself out of the equation. James, Sirius, Snape and Mulciber had fought simply because they were blinded by their personal hate and house pride. And I had nothing to do with it.

Lorcan didn't seem to think so. He was standing too close to me, a couple more steps and he would be at arm's reach. Being that close allowed me to have a better look at him. There were no marks of the fight on his face. It had been a couple days since the event, but I was sure Madam Pomfrey had taken care of every scratch in his body with the upmost care just to get his parents off her back. Though his head appeared to be its normal size as far as I could tell, his ears didn't seem the same to me. A glance at his eyes was enough for me to think that maybe he didn't like my scrutinizing.

He took another step toward me.

For the first time, I instinctively took out my wand. I hadn't thought of it, hell I had even forgotten I had it hidden in my left sleeve. My body had pumped with hot blood at his movement, and had reacted accordingly to protect me against him, but I didn't point my wand at him. For some reason I didn't. I just kept it close to my chest as I held it. He paused instantly at the sight of it.

"Must had looked very comical to you, yes?" He took another solitary step toward me, ever closer. His eyes were intense. I could feel them burn into me like only his green eyes could as they went from my wand to my face. It hurt in a profound place to be looked at with such hate by him in particular, yet I was able to keep my cool even in sight of his most grotesque expression. "I could have died, you know."

There was no escape away from his eyes, however even as the moon's effect dwindled with every second, I managed to stay calm. "I am aware."

"A trilling aspect I'm sure." His mouth moved in a perverse smirk as he took another step.

And he was at arm's reach.

His insinuation irked me. It strangely did. It bothered me to the point where I was actually feeling irritated. I looked up at him, staring like I could only stare at him, bringing to mind in a haze all the history we had. And I realized that I could wish him all the ills of the world, I had done so in many occasions, but death was another that what he thought of me? Had he _always_ thought that of me?

Mulciber's eyes changed when he saw whatever expression I was showing, for I wasn't entirely sure. His words hurt, like they always did, but at the same time it wasn't, it was different. Maybe it was the almost drunken state in which I still mildly was, or that for the first time in months I wasn't afraid. And it was shocking to realize that I wasn't. Then again, I was never afraid during the full moon, not even on that fateful night in September when all my social problems began. Lorcan was silent for the longest time as he grimaced, narrowing his eyes on me, as I continued to stare too.

His stare was unblinking, his eyes focusing only on me.

I had the fleeting though that maybe I should be feeling uncomfortable. Yet I didn't. My shoulders were relaxed, my eyes unwavering, and my fingers gingerly held unto my wand. Though I knew he was capable of anything, had even experienced his wickedness first hand, I was alright. Calmed even, and at that moment I refused to see that the situation would get worst. Situations always got worst with Lorcan Mulciber.

His face suddenly twisted, oddly, as if he was battling something inside. He looked away, and when his stare returned to me, I knew I wouldn't be able to move should I want to. What I saw in his eyes was unbelievable, and it was almost enough for me not to notice that he had taken another step toward me.

"You look different," He said. "Like you did that night."

And with that, with those simple words a maelstrom was unleashed inside of me. In all honesty, his words meant nothing to me. They held meaning of course, and I understood perfectly what they meant and what they referred to, but that wasn't what made my heart start hammering painfully in my chest. My breathing quickened again, and I felt whatever was left of the moon in me burn out of my body. Suddenly, I was myself in front of him and I couldn't move. My fingers hardened around my wand, making it shake with the tension of it. All this caused simply because of his tone. It was the tone Lorcan Mulciber had always talked to me with before whatever was between us went up in flames.

As I was agonizingly transfixed by the moment, I was under the impression that he was too far to touch me, but no.

He passed gentle fingers all the way down from my temple to my jaw, caressing my hair as it framed my face **.** Every inch of my face burned as if he was a vibrant sun, and I a pale creature of the night. I couldn't pry away my eyes from his and my heart thrashed against all the walls of its cavity as Lorcan did the have his attention on me again without hate or resentment, to feel his warmth, Merlin's beard! It was the best feeling in the world, one that I hadn't felt in a very long time.

His fingers went to my jaw again more, trailing its line once, before he settled his hand to hold my face. Lorcan swallowed hard, his brow furrowed at me, but not in a perverse or vile was almost sweet, the plea I saw in his gorgeous green eyes.

"Don't fight me this time, please?" Lorcan Mulciber asked of me.

My breath became shallow and I trembled while his shoulders slumped as he leaned down to me. My head tilted back on its own accord, eagerly awaiting a gesture I hadn't really remembered I desired so bloody was only inches away, and I couldn't keep myself from meeting him half way. I grasped at him with my one free arm bringing him closer, as the other that held my wand got trapped between our that very moment I wanted that kiss. Hell, I would do unspeakable things for it, at that one only second.

When our lips touched, my stomach lurched violently. It was sickening, painful and disgusting, but it was what I so desperately and apparently had secretly desired for the longest time. I dissolved against Lorcan; I held on to him as tight as I could, and felt him do the same, as we viciously took the other. Months of horrible pent up aggressions and ardor crashing down upon us. Beating me against him desperately and wonderfully as our kiss slowly began to lose its craze as it was unleashed.

There was a moment, in which our lips parted where I felt like hours had passed by. It was strange to suddenly feel detached from time and space, and to realize that the one connection that kept me rooted to the stone floors of Hogwarts was my greatest enemy. And my first love.

We stared at one another, and all I could see was that Prefect boy who was the very first to welcome me to school on September 1st. The one that taught me all there was to know about Slytherin House. I had missed him, terribly. And with just one look, I was certain that he missed me. Like before, Lorcan leaned forward, and I met him half way, eager to feel him again, to feel all the wonderful things he had taught me about love.

This time it was a sweet kiss, soft, gentle and full of emotion, much like the last he had given me many months before.

It was a kiss that took its time, with every second that passed I felt myself getting more and more reacquainted with Lorcan's lips. I thought I had forgotten the feel of them by now, but that wasn't the case. They were as warm and pleasing as they had always been. A chill went up my spine, as Lorcan pulled me closer into his body, his hands pressed against my back in an embrace only he had ever given me.

It was complete bliss, until I felt my wand poke my collar bone. There was a pop in my head, and then, I remembered everything.

I remembered all he had done to me, from that night in the Dueling Society, to the very moment. The memories came crashing back one after the other, hurting and devastating as they took their rightful place. My stomach, still sick from when we began kissing, gave another lurch, and this time, there was no desire to mask the nausea that racked my entire body. There was a frantic need to get him away from me. Like a fucking idiot, I had invited and allowed in pestilence incarnate, and I just let myself be consumed by him. He was not a warm sun. He was a black hole and not even a creature of the night would find that alluring.

I had to get him away from me.

Almost like an innate desperation, I stood, dying to push myself away from the boy that was my torment. I needed to run as far as possible from him. Escape to somewhere safe, even when I had no idea if a place like that existed in Hogwarts. I would run into the Forbidden Forest if I had to, crash the Shrieking Shack if need or even find a way into Gryffindor Tower if it meant safety from Lorcan Mulciber.

It took a second, but with his attention sorely on my lips, I managed to wiggle my arm high enough so that the tip of my wand bit into Mulciber's neck.

That had its effect edged his head back as he stepped away from my personal was surprise in his faceand hurt, and it was horrible, for a moment, to know that it was me who caused it. Then his expression twisted into a more characteristic frown. There was fire in his eyes, but not the stunning green kind that shined brightly in Lily's. No, Mulciber's eyes held the fire of hell in them, corrupting everything beautiful that was part of him.

Then he said something I didn't quite understand just where it came from, but never the less ignited in me a blaze I had no idea I still had in me.

" _You wouldn't say no to Black!_ "

The venom in his voice was evident, and like it always did, it put me on edge. But it was his choice of words that took me over. My wand still connected with his skin, my arm painfully arched to reach him, yet that soon became nothing. From the pit of my stomach emerged a strange feeling, one that had me clench my jaw and hold on to my wand strongly to the point that it began to mention of Sirius brought forth in me a previous anger, one that I had restrained myself painfully from unleashing on my the absurdity of it all, of Lorcan using Sirius' name against me riddled me the fuck did it matter to Lorcan?An image flashed in my head, one of Sirius anguishing on the floor and I decided that was enough. Lorcan was capable of hurting my friends, and I would not sit idly by that anymore.

"That's right!" I yelled and the abruptness of it sent Mulciber a step back. There was shock in his eyes, shock that only served in angering me more. I could try to take all his pestilence and survive through it, but withstanding his jealousy wasn't something I was willing to do. Not that I had any clue as to how to do it in the first place. "I wouldn't. Because unlike you, _he_ doesn't repulse me."

When Lorcan looked at me then, I wasn't really sure if he actually saw me. His eyes were the widest I had ever seen them and he was shaking as he clenched his whole body. His breath came rapidly, short and shallow in an alarming rate that should it had been any other situation, I might have worried for him. His face went through an array of contorts that had me staring, afraid of all that might happen. Then he moved.

In an arch, he pushed my raised arm away, and as he went, pulled out his own wand. The force of the movement made me stagger back a couple steps. Yet my confused balance wasn't a hindrance. Faster than I felt myself possible, I regained my control in time to dodge a scarlet jet of light Lorcan sent my way at such a close distance. It missed me by almost nothing, and I wasted no time in retaliating. I sent a Stinging hex as an answer, using it as an opportunity to dart away. Whatever Mulciber did in that moment, I didn't see. My intention was to run down to Slytherin House. Surely in my desperate state, Merlin would waste no time to help me, and open the bloody door. And he was only a staircase away.

I didn't get close to the entrance to the dungeons.

Another spell zoomed pass my ear, finding mark on one of the columns of the archway. Stone showered from the collision, sending rubble and dirt my way and making have to stop dead on my tracks.

I was just about to turn around to face my opponent, when the ground left me, or more like I left it. Not even a second went by, it was too fast for me to even keep track of, but one moment I was securely standing on the ground, and the other I was flying through the air. I couldn't really tell anything apart. The stone on the ceiling and that on the floor were similar in the speed I flew. It was only when gravity took back its hold on me and I crashed with the wall, that I could tell what was right and what was wrong.

There was a short-lived second where I felt nothing, but it was a sad prelude to what was to come. My flight had ended by me crumbling against the wall, and my right shoulder broke most of the collision. It was numbing, the pain, in the sense where I couldn't feel my body with the exception of my arm. It racked me; it shot up and down from it in horrible waves. I couldn't resist looking at the damage. The sensation of looking, of seeing the white fabric of my nightgown tattered to pieces and spotted with my own blood was devastatingly frightening. My heart began to hammer in my chest, looking around for some kind of help only to notice that my wand had fallen from my grasps at some point. It cried out when I moved. There was no stopping it or getting past it. I needed my wand in my hand.

"How can you do this to _me_?!" Lorcan yelled from the other side of the hallway. His voice was a screeching mess, laden with emotion and frustration and pure undiluted anger. All I could do was painstakingly gather myself wand in hand, as he raged, chest out and teeth bared. "How could you?! All I wanted was for you to be with me. To be by my side and you ruined it! _You ruined it all!_ "

"I didn't do this!" This time I screamed, trying hard to get on my feet. With my left hand I brushed the sweat away from my eyes, pushing away my wild hair at the same time. "This was all your doing. Don't blame me!"

Nothing of what I said made the situation any better, and Mulciber wasted no more time in attacking me again.

Jets of light came my way, as Lorcan fired without mercy, forcing me to move. My arm hurt when I raised it to strike, and I had to scream to get over the awful throbbing it did. But I had to attack. For dear life I managed it, the hallway shinning with the light of a dozen spells being uttered. I yelled, I shook and suffered with every spell I had to cast.

Lorcan, on another hand, looked intense. The sweat on my brow became a bother getting in the way of my eyesight, but it wasn't enough for me to miss the majestic duelist Lorcan Mulciber was. He was too much for me, a seventh year student with years of dueling experience over me. With the fire of hell in his eyes, he answered all my curses with his own, moving his arm from side to side in expert manner, pushing against me, forcing me to give more than I thought I could. I fired at him, trying to match his speed even when my arm was threatening to fall off my shoulder. It shook with every hex I sent and with every counter-curse he retaliated with, my legs weakening as every step, jump and dart took double a toll on me.

He fired at me what I assumed was an Expelliarmus, for my wand flew right out of my hand. I wasted no time going after it. I pulled up the skirt of my nightgown, running to where my wand landed, and evading curses by luck only. I slipped when I got to the spot the wand had landed on, frantically grabbing at it as a bolt of lightning hit my stomach.

I doubled over, kneeling on the ground, grabbing at my belly in a fail attempt to keep the contents of my stomach inside. Vomiting amidst a row of sobs, I panted when I was done, looking up, unprepared for what was going to continue.

Mulciber did not stop his beating. Why would he if he was winning? He sent a score of lightning spells after me, the force of the bolts crackling through the space between us, and making me wrack my brain for a sufficient shield charm to protect myself with. From my wand an invisible wall appeared before me, stopping the electricity from hitting me again. The force of the impacts began pushing me back even when I had my feet firmly rooted to the ground.

I panted when the assault stopped, only for less than a second. Then I dissolved my barrier and began my assault.

"Incendio!" The pain in my arm never stopped. I was sure my arm and shoulder were severely damaged, but I wouldn't let that get in the way. From the tip of my wand erupted a ring of fire and with no hesitation I strike it at Lorcan Mulciber. It darted across the hallway right to him, yet it made no damage. I stood, watching as he used a Flame-Freezing Charm to walk past the flames like they were nothing.

My heart stabbed the walls that constricted it to my chest, draining me of energy, but at the same time being an alarming notice. It screamed at me to retaliate better and faster. To keep going. To fight. To fucking win. With all the might I had left, I tried to do just that.

Panting and darting for what seemed like hours, I shot spells, hexes, jinxes and curses at Lorcan Mulciber. My arm cried out in anguish with every motion, but I didn't stop. I kept going, even when there was no more strength in me, even when all I could see of my opponent was his figure in the distance as a mess of hair and sweat incapacitated me. But I could pinpoint him, regardless of the lack of visual detail, and I used that in my favor to keep at it. I sent all I had in me, and it made an effect. I could make out Mulciber's arm, swinging from side to side with him, as he tried frantically to deflect and avoid my attacks. If I had hit him, I had no clue. Lights of every color zipped from side to side in the hallway as I casted any and every, verbally and non-verbal spells I could remember in that frantic moment. I went as far as to shoot a Blasting curse, one that I regretted using the moment Lorcan managed to dodge it. It smashed against the wall behind him, shattering it to pieces. The flying rubble and dirt stopped my pace, and as I protected my eyes from the wreckage, I managed to push my hair away.

Disheveled, his hair freed and his clothes marred with clear evidence of our duel, Lorcan stared back at me surprised that I could intend to him such a horrible fate. And I used that opportunity before I realized even more what I almost did.

"Petrificus totalus!" I yelled and it hit its mark.

Mulciber arms and legs snapped together, stiffening instantly, and rendering him immobile. Rigid, gravity got the best of his lack of control, and he felt flat like a board on his back. Dust scattered, and there was a deafening silence, as the duel was for the moment, over.

I looked around at the ruins we had caused, wondering at the fact that our skirmish hadn't reached anyone of consequence, and Lorcan and I were still very much unperturbed. The sudden peace both of ambiance and body reminded me just how much the fight had taken from me. I staggered in my spot, legs wobbling, threatening to give up under me as my arm repeated to me just how injured it was.

However, before I allowed my body to lose what little strength it had left, I dragged my feet to as board, his eyes were the only parts of his body that he could move, and when they landed on me all I could see was the hatred in them. He stared with repulsion at me, in that way that he always would. It was a sign of his hurt pride and resentment toward me, and it made me feel awful. The fact that I woke up in the summer with no memories meant that I could remember vividly every joyful moment I had lived so far. Before I met Lily, Peter and rest of the Marauders, I couldn't think of a happy memory without seeing thinking of that always led to reliving every horrifying, terrible thing he did or said to me. I pointed my wand at him.

"Crucio," I whispered.

At first, the Full Body-Bind Curse prevented him from moving. His eyes darted from side to side with the pain, the only evidence I had that I was doing something. Then he managed to move, as the Cruciatus curse disintegrated the body-bind.

"Crucio," I said again.

Lorcan trashed once on the ground, grunting in his spot for a moment. Panting, he rose to his knees, sweat covering his face and body. Then he looked up; his raged eyes framed with dirty blond locks of hair. His lips curled when he spoke. "I told you, you have to mean it!"

"I don't." I told him softly, feeling like it meant much more than what I said. There was confusion in his face as he looked up at me, and for the very first time I didn't feel anything. It wasn't horrible, what I caused or what he did. It didn't matter, because I didn't care anymore. About him or what had once been beautiful between us. That was gone, and I was over it. "We're done."

My words, this time, he seemed to understand the meaning behind them. I can't really understand why I thought of it, but the widening of his eyes was enough. He knew, I was certain, that never again would there be any sort of relationship between us. And that defeated him. With hunched shoulders, he appeared to be frozen in place. He looked down, utterly beaten both physically and emotionally, much as I was. But this time, I would be the one to walk away.

I left him there. It was time to return home, and though the logical thing to do was to get an adult, I had no desire to do it. I walked to the stairwell, cradling my injured arm as I went, hearing voices coming from it, as the paintings that decorated the way down called out. I stopped at the top of it, looking down to the darkness where I knew that far in, the portrait of Slytherin House hanged. I wondered if Merlin was one of the voices calling out in alarm. What would he say to the state I now was when he saw me?

"Faraday!"

At the sound of my name, I turned back to be horrified.

Beating his face with his own fists, Lorcan wailed frantically, making me shake as I was forced to whiteness it all. The spell on his legs had long dissolved, but he hadn't moved an inch. "Don't leave me!"

Then, he raised his arm, and purple light shot out of the tip it.

I was too late to block the spell, even when I watched it in full as it came toward me. Swaying back and forward without being able to control my balance, I knew what curse I had been hit with. The Leg-Locker Curse, kept my legs firmly stuck together, making it impossible for me to regain balance. I tried desperately to point my wand at my legs to use the counter-curse, but for the life of me for a full second I couldn't remember it. It was too late when I recalled it.

I saw Lorcan's eyes widen to impossible points as he realized what was happening and scrambled to his feet. I panicked, watching only him. As he struggled with his legs to stand, he raised a hand as if he could hold on to me from where he was. I did the same. He ran to me, his arm outstretched, and I really wished I could take hold of it. But try as I might, my arm got farther and farther from him as my body leaned back.

And the ground disappeared beneath my feet and I fell down the stairs.

* * *

 **AN:** Well this was wonderful to write. Yes, I'm perverse XD.

If the duel didn't seemed as detailed as the ones I've written before, then I'll use as an excuse that Faraday was too busy trying not to get hit. Sure, that.

Next chapter is going to be a bit different from what I've done so far, I think. I haven't really gotten farther than thinking about what I want to do. I only have a rough plot, so I have a lot of planning and writing to do.

I got to say that this part here is a milestone for me. When I started writing and posting this fic I desperately wanted to reach this point. Now that we are here, I'm so happy with everything I've managed to write and I'm really looking forward to keep going at it. I might be concentrating a bit too much on a fanfiction, but that doesn't matter.

To all my beautiful readers, thank you! We've made it to this point, and though it might be weird to celebrate after the cliffhanger I've left you with, I'm glad that you are here with me. Please continue with me as we go on to what happens next to our dear Faraday.


	32. Chapter 32: The dream, part I

**Disclaimer:** This is a work of fiction created sorely to satisfy my imagination. Harry Potter and anything/everything related to the novels belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing in this fanfic that might be recognizable as belonging to the canon of HP.

 **AN:** Hello sweet people! I've got a couple things to say here and at the end of the chapter.

Yeah, this chapter is different in pacing to how I normally write. I hope it doesn't get too hard to follow. This was the only way I found to tell things and get through them in a sort of coherent way. Even though, it's not really that coherent. Agh, I don't know.

Also, this used to be a long chapter, very long, but I cut it somewhere I thought was right. Hence the reason this is short. It's been a while since I posted a short chapter.

This is part One of Four, so look forward to that.

Please enjoy and review.

* * *

 **Chapter 32:** The dream, part I

I knew I was dreaming. That much was obvious.

When I woke up, after what I thought was one of the most cataclysmic events in my life, it was to realize that I hadn't really woken up. Not entirely. There was an oddity to the reality I had entered and as I laid on my back I tried desperately to bring control over every aspect of myself.

It wasn't as easy as it should have been. My gaze was hazy, the world seemed different and I had no control over my body. It was much similar to how it got whenever Lady Moon took hold of me. All my senses would leave me to be replaced by a consciousness that wasn't quite my own. There was one difference, and it was this that put me on edge; my mind was crystal clear. I was not drunk, nor possess by the lingering presence of an ancestor in my blood. No, I was completely lucid, powerless to move, but in my right mind forced to bear witness to the shit storm that had been my life.

Perhaps that made everything worse.

In the back of my mind I nursed the thought that maybe I was dead or in the process of it. Certainly, it would prove a better explanation than being in a dream. And if my memory served me right, I could have definitely plummeted to my death for all I knew. My fight with Lorcan had damaged my body enough that a trip down a stairwell could have very possibly ended what was left of me. However, I decided to cling to life.

I hadn't lived for very long to begin with, and the course my life was taking, putting Mulciber aside, was extremely satisfactory. My hard work was beginning to pay off, my grades were shinning, I was almost caught up to sixth year of Hogwarts and most importantly I had friends. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I put my darling Lily through any sort of pain, and I knew my death would do just that. And the boys, Peter, James, Remus and Sirius, well I adored them; I knew that for a fact.

So, I decided to cling to life and dream whatever my mind was going through as a dream.

It certainly had dream aspects. There were no colours whatsoever, even though that felt like it was a mistake on my part. It was confusing and alarming. There was a sort of warp in space and time that I couldn't put my finger on, but I decided to ignore that in favour of my theory.

I was in St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. That wasn't much of a surprise. Every time that I had been knocked out I woke up in one of their beds. A window to the side allowed bright white light to shine into the darkness of blacks and greys that my dream demanded of the familiar private hospital room. It was empty apart from me, something that seemed as normal to me as waking up there.

One of the key factors for me to deem my experience as waking up in a dream stemmed from the issue that I couldn't move my body on its own accord. Though under the moon something similar occurred, I could still most time will myself to move if I so desired it. When I grew tired of being on the bed, I realized I could do nothing. Try as I might, my body wouldn't even flinch. It wasn't until I had completely given up when I finally did move. But it wasn't something I had done, it just happened. I felt a sort of detachment from my body, as I occupied my mind and was able to look out of my eyes, but nothing else.

I couldn't even feel the rustling of the bed sheets as they ruffled on my lap.

Without really knowing why, for I hadn't noticed or heard anything, I looked up. It was just in time to see a woman standing on the door. I couldn't see her face, but I could distinguish how she had a hand over her mouth. She stared at me with what I could only guess was startled surprise, as she attempted to take a step forward but then didn't. In the flourish of a dark blur, she turned around and left.

Her sudden appearance put me on edge and only served to cement the fact that I was dreaming. Her abrupt entrance and departure reminded me of previous dreams, and that was further proven when the door opened. It was as if not a second had passed.

The woman that had stared perplexed at me from the door came back into the room. This time she was not alone. All dressed what I could recognize should be lime-green robes with embroidered emblems on their chests depicting a crossed wand and bone; I knew who they all were. I could recognized them perfectly now, though like before, I couldn't quite see their faces right. One and the oldest of the trio was Head Healer Pyek, a skeletal woman with whips of dark hair coming out of the edges of her pointed hat. Next to her was a man; younger than her by far, his name was Healer Trenton. I didn't know much of him; he had been assigned to be the healer in charge of my care before my connection to Merlin was discovered. And the last person, the woman that had found me, was the young trainee Healer Alessia Green, which now standing closer to me, looked as young as I knew her to be.

My body did nothing as they came to stand around my bed, but inside I was reeling. What sort of situation had I gotten myself into that I was once again in the presence of these three, much like I had been on those first days when I woke up for the very first time.

"Miss," The Head Healer said once she sat next to my bed. I hadn't noticed her sit, my body had been far too busy looking at the other two present for some reason. By now I had turned fully to her, and I could see her expression with avid detail. The compassion in her eyes was one thing, but her lack of acquaintanceship with me was even stranger. Head Healer Pyek knew me and I knew her. I had met her husband and offspring who were also Healers in St. Mungo's. Hell, she had even jokingly offered me sanctuary during the summer should I not a have a place to live between Hogwarts terms. Not that I would take her on that offer, ever, but still. "You were in a serious accident."

Pyek began to narrate a short but gruesome report, of the limp body of a young girl falling from the sky and landing unto the paved ground of a busy street. Diagon Alley shook with the ferocity of my arrival, and it tasted my blood when I collided with the ground. I was rescued from a pool of red and ushered immediately to St. Mungo's where it was discovered that even though my body had shattered in several important places, I was still clinging to life. I was told of the long and arduous process that was reviving me, and the week I had been unconscious, every one anxiously awaiting, while they tried to work against the worst. I remembered The Head Healer going on to test whether I could or not speak, but I proved that whatever had happened to me didn't render me completely useless. That didn't play out in my dream. She dived right into interrogating me. "Do you remember anything of which I had spoken?" Pyek went on to say at the end.

"No," I head myself say coarse and throaty, but that wasn't right. I remembered everything. But my body, the me that was trapped in the dream was forced to follow the path which my life had taken since I woke up.

"Do you remember your name?"

My body didn't respond in assessment, though I tried just to see if I was to have any control. I wasn't able to. There was an enchanted cement wall between my mind and my body, and I had no known tool to get pass it. "No," I said again.

There was regret in her face, one that I chose not to care about. "Then, we best commence a series of test."

I couldn't help dreading having to go through the series of detailed test that began to shape my life. One had been to try to get my exact age, it had failed, another had me drinking five vials of foul tasting potions to figure out all there was to know about my body, and one was even to see how much muggle blood I had in me. Apparently, there wasn't; which was strange **.** But as much as those test had been important to me, being forced to relieve the experience wasn't fun. I was trapped in it, with no knowledge as to how far I would have to see. I did, however, know where it would take me, and the idea of seeing my life play out again frighten me. What if I saw one of my most horrific memories play out in vivid detail as I seemed to remember my first memory? Maybe I was kidding myself on the whole dream thing. Surely this was a punishment. The last punishment before dying, seeing my life flash in horrible detail before entering eternal suffering. Surely it was that.

But I had no time to think about that for in a blink of an eye, Pyek, Trenton and Alessia where gone, and in their stead was an official of the Ministry of Magic. I remembered my encounters with him. Much like the Head Healer, I had somehow managed to win his sympathy. In later occasions, he would prove to be important to securing my pension and working with Dumbledore to secure my legal claim to my inheritance, but for now Thomas McPhail looked at me as warmly as an adult would be expected to look at an orphaned child. And that wasn't something I had liked on the first time around. I couldn't feel anything from my body, but my mind echoed with annoyance and impatience.

"You must understand Miss, that these sorts of situations don't happen often." Mr. McPhail worked for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement's Administrative Registration particularly in the Office of Ministry Wards. It was a branch that was responsible for the care and well being of underage wizard and witches who found themselves without a family or a home. He was the official in charge of my case and as I stared at him, I realized that I wasn't watching our first encounter. No, that had been brief and awkward on both parts. This time he looked more prepared to do his job, as he sat on the chair next to my bed, holding parchment and quill. "People just don't fall into Diagon Alley. There's a spell you see. It keeps any sort of creature from flying over it, even wizards and witches on broomsticks. And adding to that the fact that there are no reports of you missing, nor any searches, we find ourselves in an odd predicament."

"What does that mean?" Again, my voice came out of its own. I knew what it meant.

"It means you are an anomaly." He said grievously. "There's only one account predeceasing you, of a young wizard falling unto Diagon Alley in the same manner as you, lack of memory and all. Tell you the truth I find it extremely similar, in a way that does not sit well with me."

"Who?"

The man was to say, but didn't. "It isn't of importance." He added as an afterthought. Then he gathered more strength, and gave a smile as he spoke, waiving his quill around for effect. "What is of importance is that you are well aware of your position. My office will do all it can for you, and we will provide you with the means. A private tutor should be the first order of business, but in these times a volunteer will be extremely hard to come by. But should you have any sort of connection to him—" Trailing away from his voiced thought, Mr. McPhail seemed to be thinking things through. He looked at me at me then, really looked at me with intensity and curiosity as if trying to see the connection to what I knew now to be Merlin.

McPhail had been the very first to consider my connection to my ancestor, and on a later occasion he told me that it had been the product of an obsession he had harboured for the legendary wizard since his school days. "I'll be communicating with Hogwarts, nevertheless. There's someone there I think will be able to help in, in this." He seemed uncertain again, as if he was double guessing his thoughts. With a heavy shrug he looked back at me, hiding his real thoughts with a strained grin. "In the mean time, do consider finding a name for yourself."

And like no time had gone by, I saw sitting with Healer Alessia Green by the solitary window of my room. We had two chairs now, each facing the window that led to the muggle street bellow. I stared at every one that passed, noting that I had been fascinated by their strange clothes and how different to all the kinds of robes I had seen within the hospital.

"Faraday? I've never heard of such a name."Alessia said to me, and though I heard her, I couldn't see her. I hadn't turned to her yet, as I looked down the window. The muggles, in groups or alone went about their lives, unknowing of the world of magic."Why that one?"

Once more, my voice came out on its own, disconcerting me inside my head. "It sounds like the name of a high born lady. It's elegant, strong and reminds me of trees."

Alessia's pressed a hand against my arm and I stared at it. It had been her form of getting my attention, and though I knew I had been rude to her at some point, I justified it with the fact that I didn't enjoy the gesture in my head. Good thing I couldn't feel it. "And from where has this entitlement come from?"

I shrugged her hand away. Oh yes, I hadn't definitely liked her touch either.

"Has it anything to do with those kids you were talking to earlier?" The young Healer raised a brow as she spoke. I could see an accusation in her manner, though I had no idea of knowing if I had done the same the original time I had the conversation with her. "They must have filled you in all about pure-blooded families."

My gaze went up to her, and I chastised myself for how bad-mannered I was. "Are you one?"

"Yes, but before you ask, I'm not from the Twenty-Eight." She was visibly uncomfortable, fidgeting with her fingers for a full minute before talking again. When she spoke, she changed her face to sport a more carefree expression and returned to try to find me a better name than the one I had already chosen for myself. "Moira is a prettier name than Faraday or Katherine. That would be wonderful, don't you think? Your friends could call you Kat or Katie."

"I don't have any friends." I said. The words felt resonant and heavy on myself esteem, and though they no longer were true, I could remember vividly how it felt. Months had already passed, and now I've had friends for longer than when I didn't, but it still leave a sort of aching in my heart. Would I have to relieve my time of eternal solitude too?

My gaze went up, and I expected to see the young St. Mungo's Healer, but she wasn't my companion anymore. In her stead, and sitting on the chair next to my bed was Albus Dumbledore.

Wearing vibrant robes, he stared at me from behind his half-moon spectacles, alarming me with his sudden appearance. Much like with McPhail, this wasn't our first meeting. No, the occasion in which I had met the famous wizard was with Ministry Official present. He had been the one to introduce us. Dumbledore had then spent the remainder of the day with me, answering questions I came up with on the spot, and looking at me with his twinkling eyes that gave me the impression that he understood more of me than what I had said to him. The reason why it didn't take me long to realize it was either our second or third meeting was because I saw what he held in his hand. The me in the dream had stared at it transfixed the second he pulled it from within his robes.

"I would like to perform an experiment on you," Dumbledore's calm and pleasant voice carried over to me, and I was trapped to look at his face when I could precisely remember him handing me something very important at that very moment. It had been burn into my mind, as I was sure it was branded into every young witch and wizard. There was no other moment as special as that first second I grasp in my hand my one true wand. I couldn't feel it in the dream, but I looked down at it longingly.

"I've have this in my possession for a score of years," The Headmaster of Hogwarts began to speak. I didn't look at him. All I could see was my hand as I familiarized myself with the wand for the very first time. The wizard went on. "Thirteen inches, unyielding English Oak and a core of unicorn hair. I believe, and have extensively tested that this is the most loyal wand to have ever been created. No one but its original owner has been able to use it."

"What does that mean, Mr. Dumbledore?"

He gave me choice words, ones that I already knew what they meant. "It means that should you wield it successfully, I might have found the way to prove a connection with you and someone who arrived into our world in the very same manner, many centuries ago."

There was no curiosity on my part as to how he had gotten to that conclusion. I didn't talk. But hell, if I could take control over my body now, I would question him. I had a couple issues lined up, and I figured that it was best to hope I was still alive so the next time I met with the Headmaster, I could try getting answers. For the moment, I was following his instructions as to how to hold my wand. When I held it firmly, I pointed it to a vase on the nightstand. One of the other Healers always insisted on having fresh flowers in every room of the Hospital, and mine was no exception. However, they began to slowly glide up from the vase, one by one in a beautiful yellow parade. It was a heart-warming event to witness, the first time I ever did magic, and though I was enjoying the moment, a quick glance at Dumbledore killed it.

His face had lost his normal pleasant and serene composure, changing into one of excitement. Of course it did. His experiment worked. Somehow he had gotten to the conclusion that being able to use the wand would prove to whom I was related to. The validation of his theory must have been gratifying. With more instructions, Dumbledore taught me how to return the flowers to their original position. The flowers settled inside the vase and in their wake they left their sweet aroma lingering in the air.

Staring at me, studying me, Dumbledore gave the impression of looking inside my head for things that couldn't be found there. My body twitched under the gaze, clearly uncomfortable as the stare always made me. It was the stare of the scholar, the professor that had found a link to a mysterious part of history.

"Who am I connected to?"

"A very powerful and famous wizard." Dumbledore began, eyes moving from my face to my hand, where I held my wand."He appeared in the Middle Ages in the same manner as you did. Around the age of fourteen and sixteen, he fell from the skies and when he awoke, he had no recollection of a life before that exact moment. Nevertheless, he rose up to be a wizard of unparalleled power. All in our world know of him. His name was Merlin Ambrosius."

"I've heard that name!" I suddenly said.

He raised a brow. "Have you? From where?"

"I, I don't know." I said looking down to the wand. Thinking about it, I still had no clue as to how I knew. It had been a totally unexpected moment; the words had left me on their own accord.

When I looked up to the professor again I wasn't sitting in my bed anymore, and he was nowhere in the room.

There was a book opened in front of me, and I supposed I was reading from it. I knew I sat on a desk. Dumbledore had asked for one to be put in my room the minute he had discovered I was a descendant of Merlin. After that, he brought a stack of books that he wanted for me to read. Since I had nothing better to do alone in my St. Mungo's room most of the time, I began to look into them. The books I had been lent were for beginners, the one I had laid out I could recognized to be A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration by Emeric Switch. As I stared at the opened page, a dark drop landed on it. I looked at it strangely, not seeing it or what it was instantly because of the lack of color. But when a third and then forth droplet marred the book page, I knew what it was. My realization was followed by my arms grabbing at my head, fighting against the pressure of pain I knew I had set free upon my head with the beginning of my learning.

As I put a hand to my face to stop the flood of blood from dropping down, I realized it was the first time I experienced blood knowledge.

* * *

 **AN:** Weird place to end, I know.

So if it wasn't clear enough already, this was a flashback chapter. An official flashback. Faraday is reliving some important (convenient for the story) parts of her life. The second part will hopefully come around shortly. I can't make any promises.

Now, I know dreams consist more of images than nothing else, and that here I didn't concentrate as much on building them as I normally do, but I got an explanation for that. I hadn't a clue as to how explain what I had in my head in a cohesive way and this was the only way I found. I was stuck, really stuck, for a long time so I decided to take the easy rout out.

Also as a nice tidbit, go to Pottermore and look for the description for English oak wands. It was an exciting surprise for me when I was looking with **Litzyreads** for Faraday's wand XD.


	33. Chapter 33: The dream, part II

**AN:** This chapter has more going on than the previous one. It's also at a faster pace, but bear in mind this was supposed to be the latter half of the last chapter, so the pace was picking up. It'll be like this on the next two installments too. A lot is going to get highlighted.

I hope you enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter 33:** The dream, part II

The ceiling was arched, the wood shinning in whites and greys as the lifeless color of light in the dream illuminated the area. I saw standing in an opened room, in the middle of it, lost in its hugeness. There were no chairs, tables, beds or any other furniture of the sort one would expect a room to have in St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. Then again, I had never expected there to be a spell capable of turning a normal size room into a space big enough for a dance.

The only occupants, that I knew off and remembered, were me and Dumbledore.

"Merlin was excellent in any aspect of magic that he touched." The Professor was standing on the other side of the room, but his voiced carried out perfectly through the distance. Either that was natural or he used a spell for it. "Though most of his life outside of his association with King Arthur lie shrouded in mystery, what information we do know of him is incredibly valuable. Books speak of his rich thirst for learning, of the vast experience he gathered in his long life and of course, his proficiency and knowledge in magic. He was an expert user of charms. His bewitchments and enchantments are legendary, earning him the title of Prince of Enchanters. An extraordinary wizard, one which we were lucky to have."

"So far, you've matched him in study regimen and learning speed, your blood knowledge is an advantage." Dumbledore went out to say, pulling out his wand from within the folds of his robes and pointing it at a corner of the room. "But you will find that instantly knowing everything about a spell is quite more difficult than executing it. Today we will practice the first spell list in The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 1."

Dumbledore conjured up a dummy for me to practice, and I had almost forgotten about the formidable thing. Strange and imposing, it had the form of what I later learned was a hippogriff. For a couple of weeks, I had used it as a receiver for my practice spells. It bounced from side to side, absorbing the weak impacts of my weak spells. But then for a practice, the Professor didn't conjure it up, and I was beyond surprised to see him point his wand at me to begin what would be a horrible score of spars. The wizard was a great teacher and I learned quickly, but he was in a sense, ruthless. Always pushing me to do a hundred times better than the previous day, to go beyond whatever I thought I was capable of. Though I learned a lot, sparing with Albus Dumbledore wasn't something I enjoyed, I didn't even remember it fondly, however now that I saw myself fire weak spells to the dummy as Dumbledore looked on, I realized I should be thankful, in a sense. If it wasn't for his abysmally forcing insistence of me pushing past my boundaries, then I wouldn't have stood a chance against Mulciber. I wouldn't have been able to fight him.

At least there was that.

Witnessing my spar didn't last long. Or it didn't seem like it to me. For all I knew, hours could have gone by. Before I knew it I was back in my room in St. Mungo's. I was sitting on the provided desk, massaging my head as another book, by the looks of it Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, laid spread in front of me. I had two towers of books to one side of me, and I specifically remembered they were my Not read and Read piles. In my hand, I held a quill. There was a spatter of ink on a piece of parchment I was making notes on, as my body tired to alleviate what must had been another ache in my head.

My attention was suddenly grabbed, and my body moved, inching away from my chair with trepidation. Then I heard muffled voices coming from the other side of my hospital room door. I pressed my head against the wooden door, hearing clearly what was being said on the other side.

"Her mind is in a precarious strain." I heard a voice say and it only took me a short moment to recognize the voice as Head Healer Pyek. She was ever in charge of my well being while in St. Mungo's. "I understand her need for an education, but her health will not improve so long as you continue her in this pace. She needs rest, Headmaster Dumbledore."

The one she was talking to, the other voice was easy to recognise too, even without knowing to whom it belonged. Dumbledore spoke to her. "Magic, under a diligent and responsible wizard can be hazardous, you most of all should be well aware. I do not like to imagine the propensity of peril power such as hers can achieve while it remains unchecked. She needs, and to this the Minister for Magic agrees, to learn how to control her power."

That much I had been told repeatedly, even when the Minister for Magic himself Harold Minchum visited me. Like the Headmaster, Minchum fomented my education. But hearing Dumbledore saying it to Pyek didn't sit well with me at that moment.

"You are not teaching her how to control it, sir. You're probing just how far she can go." Her voice reached a higher octave, and that put me on edge. I never liked that her words were accurate. After hearing her say those words, and the fact that while being under the gaze of the wizard left me feeling like my mind was a private place, I never really felt at ease around him. It was then that I had begun to think that I was an experiment to him, research to be exhausted to answer questions about a person that had been dead for centuries.

The next I knew I was sitting on my desk again. Dumbledore had produced a chair next to me, and he was reading the notes I had taken from the previous books he had brought for me to study. The tittles of the books he was taking back gave me the impression that a least a couple of weeks had gone by. Especially since the new books he seemed to have brought were from grade four of Hogwarts.

"Excuse me, Professor." I said a couple seconds after staring at a page of one of the new books. At my call, the Headmaster looked up. I went on, my voice hesitant as it came out of my mouth on its own. "I was wondering when I would be able to meet with the portrait of Merlin you spoke off."

He wasted no time in answering me, returning his gaze back to my notes when he finished talking. "As soon as Head Healer Pyek deems you able to set foot out of the Hospital."

In no way I was appeased by his answer. Pyek would have had kept me at least three more months in the fourth floor of St. Mungo's. I had long gotten pass my tolerance of being a permanent resident of the hospital. Dumbledore putting more stress on me by bringing new books every few days, I felt like I had to read them as soon as possible. I did enjoy learning, though the headaches of activating my blood knowledge weren't pleasant. The more books I got, the less time I spent staring at bare walls, reading all day and till the wee hours of the night. With the blood knowledge and Pyek's concern over my mental strain, I would end up trapped in the hospital up until I became a matured adult. I wouldn't sit idly with that. I remembered how desperate I had been, to get out of that place, to get away from that room and the sick people around me.

"Professor," I interrupted again. "Was Merlin private tutored too?"

"I've found no such information in my studies." His eyes were still on the parchment of notes. "He attended Hogwarts in his time."

I had looked down, and it was evidently clear that I was painfully grasping unto the edge of the desk with my hands. Why I was like that, I don't remember. Not once I had been afraid of talking to Dumbledore about anything. Yes, I had been unsure of whether to speak to him at all, but that was hardly a reason to have my knuckles tense on the wood. Though, I had to admit that maybe it wasn't fear of talking, but more of whatever I said being rejected. That certainly was worst. "Could I go? To Hogwarts, I mean."

"You are too old to start."

I was right. Back then I had been afraid of my words being rejected, of looking like a fool for wanting something I wouldn't be able to have. I had no idea why I wanted to go to the magical school. Books and eventually other teachers were things the Ministry had offered to me once I was ready to ask for them. But knowing how to properly use magic wasn't something I wanted. In a way, thanks to Merlin, my blood already held all the knowledge I would need to become as great as him. There was more to it than that.

I had arrived into a world where I had no living relative, where I would be imposing on the government for the rest of my life as a descendant of a famous wizard, a place where I was alone. People came and went in the St. Mungo's, barely any of the friends I had met while there stayed for more than two weeks. The staff was supposed to take care of me, and Dumbledore would be leaving me in a couple of weeks to do his job at Hogwarts. Any relationship I had managed to form with anyone didn't last. I guess I saw the school as the one place where I could find a place for myself. A place where I would find people of my age that I could befriend and form bonds of lasting friendship. A place I could look forward to be in. A place to belong.

Now Dumbledore was saying that I wouldn't be able to go, and I remembered the wretchedness I had felt at that moment.

But Merlin had gone to Hogwarts, and it was known that like me he had fallen out of the sky as a young teenager. I wanted to say that but was unable to. Maybe the Four Founders of the school considered his situation and gave him a special permission. The me in the dream went on, deflation evident in my voice, yet unafraid to bargain for what I desired. "Can't I enter in another grade, one closer to my age?"

"We are not specifically sure of your age, Faraday. And it would be hard, excruciating difficult to enter a higher grade without the years of study under it. You lack not just knowledge, but experience as well." Putting the parchment down, the wizard perched an elbow on my desk, resting his head on his hand. The motion had seemed strange to me at the time, enough to make me edge back a little. Sometimes I forgot that he was a normal person behind the recognized history the people of the hospital proudly spoke again, adding it as a sort of afterthought as he made a motion with his hand. "Plus you would need to take the O.W.L.s"

My stare fell, and whatever I was precisely feeling then, well I didn't know. But I could guess my dissatisfaction and unhappiness of having to be trapped in the Hospital indefinitely. The thought was bleak, making depression flow easily into the atmosphere.

"However," He pressed again, the word hanging heavy in the air and making me look up. Dumbledore looked at me as if he was trying to get into my mind, which in my current experience I knew he could probably do. It didn't feel good to be scrutinized so damn much. "Anything is possible with sufficient determination. Would you like to go to Hogwarts?"

My head nodded more times than it should have in front of him, but hell I had gotten what I wanted.

Dumbledore smiled as a sparkle twinkled in his eyes.

In the blink of an eye Dumbledore disappeared, and I no longer was in my room in St. Mungo's Hospital. Quite suddenly, but most importantly a drastic change of scenery, I found myself standing in front of what I had been told was a train station called King's Cross. And most importantly again, I was pretty damn sure I had a daft smile plastered on my face. Next to me was Alessia Green, dressed in her trainee robes, holding my arm as she watched another Healer instruct the driver on how to pull out my trunk out of his cab.

It had been a wonderful experience, I remembered, ridding squished between the two healers as the cab zoomed around a city that was a marvel to the eye and that I had learned was called London. And now I would get to ride a train. I was having the time of my life.

I stared long at every muggle I saw. I knew I was transfixed at their oddity; I still was as I relived the memory. They were fascinating, and I regretted when I later learned there was course in Hogwarts that was dedicated to them but that I hadn't been enrolled in. Dumbledore had done that for me.

The other Healer, I forgot her name, had my trunk placed on a trolley as I stared around, then giving Alessia a nod to pull me along.

Next I noticed, a train was getting boarded by scores of kids and teenagers, all uttering goodbyes to what assume was their parents. I couldn't see colours in the dream, but I could easily bring to mind the vibrant red of the Hogwarts Express as if I could see it at the very moment. I stared at the kids too when the train was surely imprinted into my mind. I saw the similarities between the adults and their children. It made me wonder now, for I couldn't recall what I was thinking then, if I had parents and if I would look like them. I felt sorry for myself, as my body continued to be pulled by Alessia toward the train and to an empty compartment to put my things in.

My trunk had just been loaded by the Healers almost at the end of the train, when two Prefects arrived.

They were students from seventh year, given the responsibility of taking me away from the St. Mungo's workers and boarding me unto the train. One was Alice Smith from Gryffindor and the other Sander Rickett from Hufflepuff. Both greeted me with courteous expressions, the girl even shinning smiles at me. Without much ceremony, and a dry goodbye from my part, the Prefects took me away from the Healers.

The platform disappeared and I was now cramped in the train corridor behind the two Prefects, making our way into the first compartment.

I was supposed to be introduced to the rest of the school Prefects in their meeting during the train ride. Supposedly, and this I learned later, they would be at my disposal should I need any help regardless of what House I got sorted in. But I never did make any use of them. Once I found the group I felt part of, I looked for no one else.

Students lingered in the corridor, looking around for friends or a good compartment to wave at their parents from. We were, I would say, halfway through the train when I saw familiar faces that I actually wanted to see. I noticed because of a certain someone's hair. Black and spiking up in every direction caused by an expert hand, James Potter came running pass the Prefects that lead me. With the atmosphere of the dream, he seemed almost like a blur when he went past me. Behind him, puffing for air and with a face threatening to go from red to purple came Peter.

"W-wait for me, James." Peter called out as he went right next to me. The me in the dream followed the two, turning back to stare at their retreating forms after I stopped walking. I don't remember what I felt on the first go around, but as I watched them trapped in my own body, I looked at their backs fondly. I missed them. I felt like I hadn't seen them, seen Peter in ages. I wondered about the other two marauders, when Sirius appeared. Running after his friends with a satisfied look on his face, he bumped against my shoulder making me stumble as he ran off.

"Sorry." Sirius, ever the cheeky idiot brushed my incredulity off with a wink as he went through his apology.

Had I any control over my body, I would have needed a moment to compose myself, after having lost my wits laughing. Sure, I never enjoyed being at the receiving end of one of their pranks, and running Marauders always meant prank, in any sort of way, but to see them so suddenly and in a memory I forgot I still had was irresistibly delightful. I was certain that the me in the past hadn't enjoyed in the slightest the assault or the rudeness of the boys, running and stumbling unto people in such a small, cramped place. It was evident in the look Gryffindor Prefect Alice flashed. She gave me a sympathetic look to what I knew was my abhorrent expression to what I had just suffered, and encouraged me to continue.

Walking further along, we came unto the sight of the prank. It had Marauder written all over it. In one of the compartments was Severus Snape surrounded by a team of ducks. The sight was a strange one, and there were a score of students blocking the corridor to peek in. The Hufflepuff Prefect, Sander Rickett ordered everyone to find their own spot in the train just as I was able to look into it through the glass. Severus looked comical to say the least, his face twisted in a nasty frown as he tried to counter-spell the Marauder's prank. A duck would emerge from the tip of his wand whenever he pointed at a creature to get rid of it, filling the room even more with the animals.

There was a flash of red from a corner within the compartment, and I saw Lily. She was standing on one of the seats inside, holding out her wand, sending the correct spell to get rid of the birds one by one. Looking as wonderful as ever, Lily was dressed in muggle clothes, a strange combination for me to see as she majestically pointed her wand like the amazing witch she is. My heart ached at the sight of her as I wondered if after the dream was finished I would be alive to see her again. I wanted nothing more than to be with my friends again.

What I had initially thought of her that fist time I saw her, I didn't have time to try and remember. Just then, Remus emerged next to her, having been bent down. Though he too had his wand out, he seemed more preoccupied with carrying a duck on his hand. Had I been able to, I would have again descended into a fit of laughter, looking at him holding the bird. Why he hadn't run away behind his friends I'll never know, but my galleons were on Lily had gotten a hold on him as the boys fled and he was forced to stay and clean the mess. His expression of amused annoyance was proof of it.

"Evans and Lupin will get it sorted." Sander said, making a point of having us finish our trek to the front of the train. As we passed the compartment that had a flock of birds going crazy inside, I blinked and found myself in another place.

The Prefect compartment was bigger than the rest of the others on the train.

Inside, I was introduced to every Prefect present, shaking hands with each as they looked at me with curiosity, probably not knowing yet why I was present. It was among those first I met that I came to know of Gemma Carrow. She courteously treated me well, though she wasn't kind or friendly toward me. Her hair was a delight for me, being the first time I had even seen such long and beautiful ray of light on an actual person.

But her hair and she, for I did think of all the girls there she was the most beautiful, fell short in every aspect when I was introduced to Lorcan Mulciber.

Though inside I knew for a fact that should I have control over my body I would be shaken with the vilest putridity that he casted upon me with his mere presence,the me outside shook with something else. I remembered it perfectly, as I knew I would be forced to remember everything about Lorcan Mulciber for the rest of however long I would get to live.

I was smitten by him, there in our first encounter.

Lorcan was the sun, one that I had been deprived on feeling, of experiencing all through the months I lived in St. Mungo's. I thought I was going to Hogwarts to finally live, but seeing him, feeling the warmth in his hand as he lingered when he shook it in greeting, I knew I was meant to meet him. In plain, simple and abhorrently stupid words, it was love at first sight for me. And the fact of it all was disgusting. I experienced myself stealing glances at him during the Prefect meeting, looking at him intently for as many seconds as I could. It was revolting, vile and sickening being there childishly smitten, when I knew that not even a month would pass before he became the foulest creature in my life.

Later, my attention was grabbed by the arrival of Lily, Remus and Severus. The trio were in various levels of dishevelment, though the three still carried remnants of cleaning up feathered beings. They were late, however, and the Head Boy and Head Girl had already begun to read the instructions given by the Deputy Headmistress, McGonagall.

Though I wanted to, I didn't pay them much attention. I was sitting next to Gemma and the other Slytherin Prefects by pure chance really, and between my glances to Lorcan and pretending to be listening to what the Head Girl was saying, my attention was extremely entertained. And if I did pay any attention to anyone else it was only to Gemma, who was kind enough to explain matters of Hogwarts when I didn't understand them.

Honestly, more than once I thought that my sorting into Slytherin House was simply because I had been slightly exasperated with Alice to sit with her. She was a bubbling mess of giggles with her present friends, and I wanted nothing of that at that moment. The other Prefect, Sander from Hufflepuff had abandoned me as soon as it was time to sit down.

It was no surprise when my vision darkened and the next I knew I was huddle up with all the Slytherin Prefects. How it ended up like that, I mostly don't remember. Though I was inclined toward they heard from the Head Boy's report on me that I was a special student. A pure blooded girl who had been home-schooled and raised by two old witches in a sheltered life away from muggles. It had been a story fabricated by Dumbledore. He wanted my circumstances to remain secret for as long as possible, but he had the good grace to let me speak of my accident and amnesia. That way I hadn't any need to lie about a life I never lived. The backstory was mostly unnecessary, really.

Though I had received attention from the students of the other houses, the fact that Gemma was sitting next to me and had invited me to talk with her group of colleagues was the main reason I ignored everyone else. The other Houses didn't have the sun incarnated waiting to talk to me.

Lorcan stood right across from me as I joined their group, the female Prefect of his year Peregrine Yaxley standing by his side. She was a shy piece of work, more antisocial than me, with whom I barely remembered even sharing two words with. Gemma and Severus were to one side of me. I did think I would be closer to them considering Dumbledore said I would be starting with the sixth years. And newly appointed from fifth year, Flora Busltrode and Regulus Black were to the side. Though both were expertly masked with the indifference drilled in by their rich and pure families, their lack of talking was clear evidence that they were nervous at their new responsibilities. Proud to be a figure of authority to the eyes of the school body, but uncertain. At least that's what I thought. Then again I had been stupidly trying not to get lost within Lorcan's eyes.

Now as my eyes lingered on him, my one wish was that I could look away. I would rather look at hippogriff droppings than stare at Lorcan, even more when he pointed his nose up as he spoke to me.

"Pure-blooded and sheltered from muggles," He said and if I could, I would had violently shudder at the sound. "You sound like Slytherin material to me."

I exasperatedly waited for my coming reply, hating the high pitch my voice made when talking to him. At that moment I was grateful that I couldn't feel or see my face. I had absolutely no desire to see the flirty daft girl I use to become in front of Lorcan Mulciber. "I heard only Dark wizards and witches come from that house."

"A common blood-traitor misconception." He said glancing at Snape and Peregrine who wholeheartedly nodded, understanding every one of his words; believing them as the only truth. His expression was one of annoyed disgust as he pinch his eyebrows together. I knew, and I could still see it now that the disgust was clearly directed at blood-traitors and not at me. Though I had long stopped caring so much about blood purity and being loyal to it, I did remember that I had labelled Alessia Green as a traitor, She had told me about Slytherin reputation when she told me about Hogwarts. It was mean of me, to spit on the compassion the Trainee Healer had given me, but I didn't care for her, and I wanted, craved for Lorcan's approval. I listened to his every word like he spoke the holiest of truths. "They label us as dark and evil in a fail attempt to hide our innate greatness; a weak lie to pry away eyes from their own inadequacy."

"Could I be great?" My voice sounded breathless as I looked around to each person in the group. "If I were in Slytherin?"

This time, I was answered by Severus Snape. Though detached and not too interested to have to talk to me, he seemed, like Lorcan, to want me in the House. There was no other explanation for me to ponder. I was a pure-blooded oddity, one that even nasty Snape was willing to work with. And he did a compelling job to want me to be like them, I guess. Hell, I wondered what any of them would do if they ever find out who I descend from. Severus continued speaking. "Our founder, Salazar Slytherin made sure of that. He made it his legacy to only allow the best of the best into his House."

"Slytherin House has produced awe-inspiring wizards and witches throughout the ages." Gemma began to talk, almost interrupting Severus in her need to be an active part of the conversation. As I stared at her light appealing smile as she spoke, all I could think of was on how much I had initially wanted her as a friend. I felt pathetic, knowing than in less than a month she would be treating me like rubbish. "We got Ministers for Magic, Quidditch Champions, and Headmasters of Hogwarts, Master Duelists, Head Healers, Potion Masters and the lot. And of course, Merlin. The Prince of Enchanters himself."

There was a moment of silence as the me in the dream took in the information. I had been greatly shocked at the revelation. Dumbledore hadn't said anything about that and when my voice came out, it was beyond surprised. "Merlin? He was in Slytherin?"

"The greatest wizard of all time." Lorcan said with a smooth nod of his head, I had to admit. He was a monster and a vicious disease, but he was elegant at it. With a dismissive wave of a hand, he continued talking. "And don't listen to what people are going around saying that Dumbledore is the greatest wizard of all time. That's not even remotely true. No one can surpass our Merlin, in power or fame."

"Except for one." Regulus Black said, the first words he ever said in my presence.

There was eerie moment in which all the Slytherins looked at the youngest there present and agreed with him in complete silence. My gaze went from one of my companions to the other, trying to find answers, but receiving nothing. All there was present was their unspoken approval echoing in the compartment. I hadn't known then, but now that I was looking at it again, I was sure I could feel a chill run up my spine even without control over my body. I knew to whom he referred to, of whom they were agreeing to follow and it still disturbed me to no end. It had always done so, and I remember that right then in the compartment I had looked for help to subdue my feelings.

Only Lorcan's smile calmed them.

His smile was blinding and when I could see again, I found myself staring at the patterns of McGonagall's robes as I followed her to the headmaster's office.

We were going up the stairs of the griffin statue as my robes bellowed after my pace. It was somewhat comforting to know that I was wearing the school robes and that I was in Hogwarts already. I never felt as comfortable in St. Mungo's as I did in the school, even considering the shitstorm I would later experience.

My eyes darter around to every corner, trying to take it in all at once. I knew I had tried to take it all in, and as Professor McGonagall opened the door to Dumbledore's office, my body stopped as the me in the memory tried to look at everything. My gaze lingered in every odd object, on all the portraits on the walls, and it wasn't until the Headmaster spoke that I noticed that I was already sitting on the chair in front of his desk. "Here we are, finally. Welcome."

"The path was arduous and complicated, and your Potions O.W.L. almost halted our work, but we've done it. You made it to Hogwarts." Dumbledore went on to say, looking at me with sparkling eyes behind his spectacles. "However this is just the beginning. Mountains of work lie in your immediate future, Miss Nolan, and I would very much like to implore you to give the best of yourself. I have spoken to every professor that will teach you, and they all understand your peculiar situation. They've agreed to help. Needless to say I encourage you to seek them out, as well as myself, should you need the assistance. Now, on to the last thing. I'm sure you must be starving after the long train ride. Minerva if you would be so kind."

With a motion of his hand he gave reigns to McGonagall, who wasted no time in bringing forth the Sorting Hat. Before she could say anything she put it on my head.

" _An oddity; we don't get much of your kind here. But a pleasure nonetheless, to have the honor of sorting you."_ A small voice said in my ear. I had looked down to my hands, as my fingers twitched and fidgeted together. I remembered the Sorting Hat. I remembered the slur of his voice echoing the confines of my mind, invading every private corner as it looked for my true being to decide to which House I belong to. I hated that moment. _"Where should I place you, oh child of old? Should you go to Ravenclaw, where your wit and resilience for learning will earn you a place of reverence? Or to Hufflepuff to share the patience and the diligence you hold hidden in your being? Better yet should I place you in Gryffindor, and let the fire in your heart boldly burn with chivalry?"_

I glanced around at the spectating adults. McGonagall was impassive, waiting for the verdict in her normal demeanour. Dumbledore on the other hand, edged forward in his desk. Before him, he had his hands clapped together, his knuckles white as he too waited, but unlike his colleague looking at me again like the scholar he was.

" _Though there is no mystery to which house you belong. Cunning Lady, ambitious child of power."_ The hat finished. _"It's waved in here, in your very essence, just as it was in Merlin when I sorted him."_

"Wait," I heard myself whisper, but it was too late. What I was going to say I didn't know, but my one thought then, as it was still now was that I didn't fancy the idea of following into Merlin's footsteps. I was repulsed and frightened by the thought that it was forced upon me. Though I eventually learned that regardless of my blood connection or the people I had met on the train, my rightful place was in Slytherin. I never like the idea that people and the Sorting Hat thought it was something that purely depended on Merlin. I was a Slytherin because that was just who I was. That was my identity, it had nothing to do with my ancestor, and I would have very much enjoyed telling that to the hat. Yet I had no opportunity to say anything. The Hat boomed to the two professors over my quiet protest.

"Slytherin!"

Again I was following McGonagall. She was saying that someone of my House would be waiting for me outside the Great Hall. I don't remember what was going around my mind in that moment. Though, I'm inclined to think that it had to do with my doubts about being in Slytherin just because of Merlin. It wasn't fair if that was the case, if it was still the case. I take great pride in being a part of the House of Salazar. But the thought of it being not because of who _I was_ but because of who _I descended from_ was heartbreaking. Nothing was set in stone, however. And I was allowed to believe whatever I wanted.

Saying something about getting the first years, Professor McGonagall pointed at two giant doors and then hurried away. I went along on my own, my head down to look at the tie I now wore around my neck and the colours it had. What I had been thinking in that time, I didn't know, but my reflection of it ended when I looked up.

I was in sight of the double door to the Great Hall, and much like McGonagall had said, there was a Slytherin waiting for me there. Yet it wasn't just any Slytherin. His Prefect badge shone brightly under the candle light even from where I was standing, as it hung from his chest. Shoulders straighten to the propriety of his family heritage and blood purity, Lorcan Mulciber waited for me. The sight of him, and what I felt when I saw him there, was something that I did remember.

I was cursed to remember every detail of him and my feelings for him.

Seeing him there had propelled my heart to beat painfully on my chest, and my memory clearly served me well as my body raised a hand to put over my breast. I knew him for only a couple of hours and had just had one conversation with him, but I was certain that he was special to me. I hadn't had any sort of experience with fancying a boy or having any sort of romantic feelings. What I knew I had learned from conversations with the Trainee Healer Alessia. She had a boyfriend she loved to talk about. However, as I stared at Lorcan I knew I had somehow, in such a short time, developed feelings for him. It had been something out of my control. Something meant to be. That I had believed that for a fact once, made me want to vomit.

Both my hands over the Slytherin colours that distinguished me, I closed the space between Lorcan and I with a quick pace. As soon as he noticed me, he stared at only me, smiling in a way that gave me the impression that I was doing the same too. Though he must have already known, I had wanted to surprise him with my sorting into his House.

Lorcan raised a brow after his eyes darted to my neck, staring at me with amusement, and making inner me gag. It took a moment more of staring before my hands flew away from my neck to reveal the green and silver of Slytherin, and it was horrible to actually see Lorcan's delight.

"Welcome to Hogwarts." He said to me with a beautiful smile. Then, with an inviting nod, he led us to our table.

* * *

AN: I don't know if this matters, but somewhere in the first few chapters, maybe when Faraday met Lily, she said she wasn't sure of her blood purity. Yeah, so I decided against her not knowing that a while ago, but I'm not gonna go back to change it. I'll leave it as an inconsistency, along with a couple other things I've noticed.

Now, more technical things. In this chapter, are the changes in scene too fast? Is it too much to follow? Do they make sense? If you're having trouble please say something 'cause I have two more chapters coming up and I would like to know for it. Maybe I can do something. Or not. I don't know. I want to know.

On another note, we begin the fateful September in Faraday's short life. We're finally gonna know what went down in the next two chapters.


	34. Chapter 34: The dream part III

AN: Holy shit! This chapter is the longest one so far!

* * *

 **Chapter 34:** The dream part III

"After dinner, come sit with me." Merlin's strong voice was crystal clear in my mind, just as it was in reality. I had been trailing behind the very distinct backs of my dorm mates, leaving the common room to get breakfast on the very first day of class. How I could recall that particular piece of information, I couldn't even begin to fandom. Not when my head turned back to the painting that protected the entrance to Slytherin House. Merlin had taken the chance to stop me as soon as I bid him a good morning, and to my luck the girls didn't seem to notice right away. We they did, they stopped to wait for me, as I faced at the picture of my ancestor, who sat grim and imposing. "We have much to discuss."

Nothing in the form of an answer came out of my mouth, but I guess I did agree to it. I did remember meeting with him later that night.

My dorm mates, Hestia in particular, questioned my politeness toward an old piece of decoration. There was no way I could have told her the truth, even if I wanted, but I didn't manage to give a straight excuse. They accepted my apparently convincing explanation and said nothing more of it.

Of course if they knew that Merlin's portrait had been moved to the Slytherin entrance because of me, they wouldn't have ever liked me even a little. Apparently, for I only heard tales, Slytherin House didn't have a painting as doorkeeper. For years it had only been a sliding wall that protected us from intruders. But because of my arrival, Dumbledore had moved Merlin's portrait to the entrance of the Slytherin dorm because Merlin had asked for it. Though he was known to the rest of the school as the Old Wizard, and only a handful in the world knew the truth, he had never to me seemed perturbed by the lack of reverence given to him. I always thought that he didn't care about that. Or that since he was paint, canvas and wood, then he wasn't able to care, most times. As to his reasons to moving, of all places to be the door of my house, I had a theory. I didn't like the fact that the painting had assumed I would be placed in Slytherin, and had been right, and that fuelled my theory of his presence there to watch over me. He wanted to keep an eye on me and remind me of his presence daily. As the door into Slytherin, I had to face and talk to him at least once a day, and that way make sure I didn't ignore him if he was in some random hallway.

I sat down, and it didn't take me long to figure out where I was. A cauldron strategically placed in front of me was clear evidence. Next to me, with a concentrated side glace, was Gemma. She had insisted on me being her Potions' partner when Snape had refused to be so. As the best in our class and Prefect he had been expected to take me under his wing, but he didn't. I had to settle with Gemma, who I was relieved to have by my side that first day of class. I watched her organize her side of the worktable. "I know is a huge castle," She said for I had commented on how far the Great Hall was from Potions class, and how I was lucky to have her and the rest of the girls to guide me. "But you'll get use to it in a couple days. Once you memorize your schedule and a planned route, you'll learn about the rest."

"Welcome to Potions class," Slughorn said to the classroom once it settled after his entrance. Going full into a speech about how we were in N.E.W.T classes now, and difficult work loomed in the close horizon, the professor looked at each of his favourite students with pride. His eyes went from Lily, sitting at front on the other side of the room, to Severus in front of me. And then finally at me.

He knew my secret. Dumbledore told him as soon as I had been placed in Slytherin, and his eyes shone brightly with the potential of eyes had already been following him, and I saw what I always saw in my favourite professor, good intention. Even in my memory is a pleasant thing to see. Sure, I knew he intentionally wanted to get in my good graces, so to be close to me whenever in my future I reaped the success of whatever life I decided to live. Knowing was better than being oblivious, and that I could always see Slughorn's true intentions toward me was the main reason I liked and respected him so much.

After fomenting hard studying and revising, he went into a subject in which he seemed more fascinated with. The Potions Master dived in full to what he knew best, and after a spellbound introduction to his class, insightful and a bit more dramatic than it should be, he gave us an assignment with a prize to be won by whoever was best in the class brewing.

Everybody was visually excited; a look back was enough for me to see. Even James and Sirius, who on normal days lounged at the back rows acting like they didn't have some of the best marks in the class, looked at Slughorn with intensity. Surely they could raise hell with the prize being offered. The challenge was to successfully brew Draught of Living Dead. The best attempt would be rewarded with a tiny bottle of Felix Felicis.

Slughorn gave permission to start, there was scraping around, and barely two seconds later trouble reared its ugly head.

It had been trouble for me in the past, and I got to relive it once more in the dream, only that this time I could enjoy it for what it was. It started as a whimper for me, as my hands went to grab at my cauldron to position it better over the fire under it. Slow and seemingly out of nowhere, the scream began to get louder. Then there was a wave of screams, they erupted into the room in a crescendo loud enough to make you want to cover your ears, and it wasn't until a moment later that I realized the shrill sound was coming out of my caldron. I stared at it transfixed. I hadn't thrown anything into it yet, it wasn't burning, nor could I see a mouth on it. A look to Gemma showed me it wasn't my personal anomaly. Hers was screaming too, and she stared at it like I can only imagine I had been staring at mine.

Startled, Gemma took a step away from her spot next to the table, looking over at Snape who held a knife in his hand. Caught in the attempt to make the Draught, his cauldron was screaming too. All the Slytherin caldrons were screaming as a matter of fact. My stare went to Gemma and my other dorm mates trying to look for answers, but finding them as confused as I was. The other students, Lily in particular looked over at us like she didn't understand, her own confection of the potion ignored to assess the situation. Such a beautiful girl, not even petty house rivalry would stop her from doing what was right. I saw Snape glare back to the back row of Gryffindors as he tightly held on to his knife. Following his gaze I glanced at a couple of certain boys who seemed too preoccupied with making their own potions.

Remus was better at hiding it, which most times had me questioning if he had anything to do Marauder pranks. Silent, afflicted Remus Lupin always had a say at what his friends did, and enjoyed it as much as them, even when he got stuck cleaning up their messes. Opposite to him, dear Peter couldn't keep his face from turning purple, as he desperately tried not to react to what had happened. James sitting behind Peter, along with Sirius didn't care that there were broad smirks on their faces as they stirred their silent cauldrons. Ever proud of their handy work, everybody knew it was then; surely there was no use in hiding it.I looked back at my own problem, my past self waiting for someone else to fix things, while I imagined myself laughing. I couldn't do it in real life, which was all there was left for me to do. In all honesty, if I had to relive my horrid life, I figured I might as well enjoy the trouble my friends had caused over my House. I had hated it in the moment, and I didn't particularly like the idea of falling into one in the future, but they were hilarious. It almost made me understand why they did it.

"Take ten points to Slytherin, Miss Carrow." Slughorn said to Gemma when she calmed the situation with a Silencing Charm.

It worked for the most part. We could no longer hear the screams of the cauldrons, though it was clear that it wasn't as far as the Marauder prank went. Wemanaged to get to work, but there was the problem that the caldrons every now and then threw up the ingredients we put in. There was a mess of Infusion of Wormwood on my desk by the time Professor Slughorn called the class to an end.

To everybody's disappointment, no one got close to makingDraught of Living Dead. The potion was nasty tricky to make, the cauldrons made everything a mess and even the instructions made no sense. Slughorn made a speech about everyone failing to produce a sufficiently close potion, and took away the Felix Felicis. There was palatable annoyance in the room as we cleaned our work area at the end of the that was done, I left with Mafalda, Gertrude and Hestia. Gemma stayed back with Severus, determined to find a way to break the charm placed on our cauldrons.

"I got Wormwoodall over my skirt." I said trying to push the muck away from the fabric with a delicate looking swipe of the hand once outside the classroom. Back then and when the girls were around me, I made a point of appearing as educated and delicate as they did. It wasn't that much of a hassle, and I found that I liked being that way. Still do.

"Allow me to clean it," Mafalda said pulling out her wand as she walked next to me. "I know the perfect spell."

She uttered the spell and the slime slid right off my clothes.

"Do me as well, Mafalda. I don't want Rabastan to see me like this." Gertrude begged, holding on her robes to be cleaned after she stopped walking. We all halted to let Mafalda get to work. Gertrude had as much ill luck with the Infusion of Wormwood as I did, especially when the potion she was making turned purple and the cauldron began to spit it out.

Hestia rooted herself next to me; her sharp face features capable of cutting if that were even possible. "We should have expected it. They've been doing it since second year. A prank every first day of class. Next year I'm skipping."

"You will do no such thing, Hestia." Mafalda said. Her poise was so perfect as I watched her tuck her wand away, that even now I was slightly jealous of it. I remembered just how much I enjoyed watching her, the most elegant of my dorm mates and how I tried to mimic her. For the most part, I learned fast. Not once was I question or ridiculed for my lack of training in elegance and all that shit. I came natural to me, to stand, sit and behave like a pure-blooded young witch from a rich family. To think that I mostly copied it off Mafalda Bole on those first days of school.

"So, it _was_ the Gryffindor boys? What was it that you called them Mafalda?" I asked, my voice as alien as always in the dream. "A plague to the integrity of this school?"

Gertrude hid a smile behind her hand, blushing at her own reaction. At her side Mafalda rolled her eyes, whether it was because that was her reaction or that she didn't particularly liked that I had voiced that out, I couldn't tell. She did, however seemed completely alright with my girls had gone full on gossip mode that first night in the castle, and the matter of the Marauders was a topic that they didn't take long to touch. Various negative comments arouse, along with the one I said out loud. I had heard the four girls talk about the four boys with upmost attention, believing their words to be the course I didn't think that anymore. The Gryffindor boys were my friends; I loved the four to bits.

"They're Gryffindors, all of them are a plague." Hestia was unapologetic with her expression, not that it mattered to me back then. Her eyes bulged out for a second, and suddenly she took a long step to stand next to me. Pulling my arm, and twisting me around, she made me face the direction of Slughorn's classroom. Her lock had me pressed against her too close for comfort as she tried to whisper into my ear with a voice that never lowered. "Oh, here they come. Look Faraday."

My eyes went to the boys, who like us came from Potions. They seemed particularly pleased with themselves as they talked among each other, knowing that their prank had been successful. Especially Peter, who appeared red face and rushed with a smile to tell James something. "The two up front are Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, but they aren't of consequence. Boring gits if you ask me."

"I think you are right." I said as my eyes lingered on them. I mentally disliked myself for a moment. How dare I agree to that about Remus and Peter! They were the sweetest guys I had ever met, and I was sure neither of them would ever treat me bad or talk horrid about me the way I had allowed Hestia to talk about them then.

"You see that one? The handsome one with the long hair?" Her voiced quickened against my ear, and though I couldn't see her face, I could imagine the exact level of mischief she held in them as she was a step away from pointing. Lucky for me at the time she didn't. I'm sure we already looked ridiculous just standing against the wall of the hallway, pretending not to be looking at boys passing. My head did a subtle motion, which I took as nodding. "That's Sirius Black. Gemma fancies him."

There was a pulling to the side, and both Hestia and I turned. Gertrude had grabbed into her friend's arm, eyes shining with concerned shock, as she retaliated to Hestia's declaration. "That's a secret!"

That didn't stop Hestia from going on revealing other peoples' secrets. She went on, ignoring Gertrude with a shake and concentrating on gossiping to me. Ever interested in any sort of information, I edged toward her, waiting to be told. Hestia had always been a great source of school knowledge to me. When the other girls like to explain mostly matters about classes, Hestia didn't shy away from more fascinating subjects, like school drama, wizard culture titbits I didn't know and girl gossip, of course. "And the one next to him is James Potter, Mafalda's—"

"Hestia Bletchley, I will hex you if you finish that." My eyes flew to Mafalda, whose glare was set in my direction, though I was sure it was meant mostly for Hestia. The sternness in her voice was evident, and even when I shared a smug half smile with Hestia, we did as she bid. Turning to face her, the movement was done at the right time, for that was when the Marauders were to walk behind us.

I wanted to look at them, I missed them terribly and any glance of my past self that they appeared was like water to a thirsty person.

There was the fact that I deliberately giving them my back along with Hestia, and that didn't sit too well with me. They were my friends now; I would never do that to a friend. Standing forming a circle with my Slytherin classmates, they stood with secretive smiles, except Mafalda as the boy stomped past us. I knew I must have sported one too.

If the dream taught me anything about myself was that I was abysmally predictable.

When that moment ended, I turned to look at the backs of the Marauders as they went. Their infamousness around school had been made evident to me as early as possible in Hogwarts, Hestia and the other girls had made sure. And looking at them, I had to admit that they mostly lived up to their renowned history. But I hadn't thought that about them in the past. They were just obnoxious Gryffindors that made the life of Slytherins hard on a regular basis. The boys didn't seem like a big deal to me then, and I couldn't blame myself for thinking that. I mean, how could they when Lorcan Mulciber existed?

"It'll get better," I heard him say. The scene had changed and my dorm mates where nowhere in sight. Though my eyes were slightly down casted, and I had a hand rubbing at them, it didn't take me long to figure out where I was. I believe it was the second floor Study Hall. The fact that it was empty didn't surprise me; it was still first days of school for other students to begin to take their work seriously, even if my year was in N.E.W.T.s. My eyes lingered on my hand, shaking slightly and spotted with dried ink as it was held by Lorcan's. He was leading me out of the hall with kind sturdiness and patience, something that gave me mental nausea.

Carrying what I could recognize as my book bag on his shoulder, Lorcan leaned toward me, his free hand coming up to brush my face with a beautifully embroidered handkerchief. In all honesty, he probably found me crying in the Study Hall, eyes pouring as I devoured book after book trying to keep up with the demand of the classes I had. It was a natural occurrence to me during my first weeks in Hogwarts.

I had probably cried in every room of school I tried to get homework done in.

"Before you know it," He went on passing the handkerchief over my cheeks with added sweetness that I hated I had to witness. My heart on that first instance had beaten in my chest painfully, screaming my premature love for him. I couldn't feel it now, but the dramatic rise and fall of my chest was enough of a sign. "You'll be handing in all your work with opulent confidence, getting the highest marks in the whole class."

My voice was sickly disgusting, chiming brightly with the prospect of his support. I would had done anything for his attention back then, even allow myself to sound like an idiot. Though in retrospect, I don't think I would had been able to notice my own idiocy. I only know now because I've suffered experience. "You really think so?"

Green eyes blazing with the intensity of a fire spell, he nodded sweetly. As my own eyes got tangled with his, I couldn't help feel sorry for myself. I don't know how long had passed since our duel after the full moon, but my feelings had hardly changed. I knew I wouldn't ever be able to forgive him, however if I had connection with my body, I was sure my heart would be beating frantically inside me as my skin bathed in chills. Staring at him for what seemed like hours, or what past me would had liked to be hours, I knew he would always hold a piece of my heart in his claws. There was no denying it or escaping it. And it honestly made me wonder if I would be like that with every guy I would eventually fancy or if it was an exception with Lorcan Mulciber. Having him as an ex was devastating, I couldn't imagine having more. How in the hell did Sirius manage to deal with more than five exes in Hogwarts when I couldn't even with one? I guess all that Gryffindor bravery and boldness helped.

Pressing the used handkerchief into a pocket of his trousers, Lorcan gave me his prettiest smile, edging toward me, and standing closer than one would think he needed to me. With the intentions we both had for the other back then, neither minded at the proximity, it seemed. "Listen," He said with a flutter of his eyelashes that appeared to take ten minutes to occur. "I don't know if the girls have said anything, but were hosting the first meeting of the Duelling Society tomorrow night. We normally meet once a week during the school year. And I would much like you to go with me, that way I can teach you the protocol and many other trifle details."

Again my voice was sickening, horrible to have to hear it and know that it came from my own mouth. "I would like that very much!"

What happened afterwards, I wasn't able to see. My vision blurred and shifted taking me away from Lorcan. Placed across from Merlin's portrait, standing in my normal spot against the adjacent wall, I had my harms crossed. I had no way of knowing how long I had been there staring at the picture of my ancestor, but as far as I could tell it wasn't our first private talk. No, that one had been on my very first day of school, and at no point that time had he asked me what he asked now.

"How are your studies?"

My eyes took in every detail of him, from the bottom frame of him to the pointy hat on his head. I could see it clearly in the dream, as clear as it had been in real life since the moment I laid eyes on the ancient painting. Merlin held an uncanny resemblance to Dumbledore. Or maybe it was the other way around, but either way I hated had the same broken hooked nose, the pasty skin and the long white beard. There was also the way they spoke, how they talked and talked, the mannerisms and the facial expressions that sometimes had me wondering if there was a blood tie somewhere between the two. Worst of all **,** Merlin's portrait _looked_ at me like Dumbledore. That bothered me more than the physical similarity. It was the thing I hated the most, to be looked at as if they were trying to get into my head as see every thought I wanted to keep for myself; how they twisted and turned all my actions and words as if dissecting them. It was Dumbledore's scholarly look. A look I knew to be the one of a person studying me like an antique tome. I was research to him, and Merlin looked at me the same way.

"They are hard, but I'll manage them." I appeared to be polite for the sake of being respectful to the memory of someone renowned. As much mild disgust as I secretly held toward the painting sometimes, it was still Merlin, and that was a matter that made me swell with Slytherin pride.

Merlin appeared to take my words in stride. He always promoted my learning. "Do not neglect your work. I have been in this school for many centuries, and I have found neglectful students to be shameful. Hogwarts has ever been a place of academically grandeur, from my time to now. It is regretful that great wizards and witches have their progress dampened by lacking students. Rise to the pinnacle of your greatness Morgana, and—"

I interrupted him. He wasn't too please at that, probably didn't happen much to him, but I couldn't keep quiet at that. I did not enjoy being called by another name, not when I was proud of mine, not when it was he who was talking to me. There was a stronger dislike in me that came from being called Morgana, one that I could never pinpoint exactly, but it always bothered me. It came from deep within me, with no reason and with no tolerance. "Faraday. My name is Faraday, not Morgana. Have you forgotten, grandfather?"

Realization dawned on his face in a way that I could instantly tell, and his face closed over. I didn't know if it was embarrassment, but I felt uncomfortable with causing his expression. I couldn't remember what I felt then in the past, however it was probably along the lines of not caring. My feelings toward Merlin's picture had changed, and though it wasn't prudent, considering he was just paint and canvas there was no escaping my closeness with him. He looked away, trying to regain himself, even going as far taking off and putting back on his pointy hat. "I have not forgotten. I know very well." Pressing a hand over a fold of his robes as if straightening it, he then spoke again in a small voice, more to himself than to me, I think. "Your resemblance is uncanny, is all."

"Resemblance? To who? Morgana?" Past me was a bit less prudent than I had grown to be with the painting. Had that conversation been now, I wouldn't have said anything to that.

Merlin turned to me, looking surprised yet again after losing himself staring away into nothing. It almost appeared as if he remembered I was standing there. "Do not say that name." His voice was grave, almost sharp as he chastised me. If it had been a tad sharper, I would have taken it as an insult. "It is after curfew, I believe. Go in."

He didn't wait for me to say the password. He swung open, and with little vacillation, I went in.

The sun blinded me, coming out of nowhere as I tried to focus on where I was now. My eyes lowered to my hands, on which I held an opened notebook and a quill. Fingers dirty with dried ink as per usual at that time in my life; I was scribbling something in it as hasty as I was physically able to. I didn't read what I had written down, for a quick glance up got my attention. I saw the receding back of Professor Kettleburn, walking away with Hagrid the Groundskeeper to the edge of the Forbidden Forest. What they were getting, I didn't know nor I tried to figure out, for at that very moment, I turned to Mafalda. "Do you suppose this will be tested on paper or will we have to perform it?"

"Definitely perform it." She said, closing her own notebook as she had finished taking her notes.

A loud sound came from me, like a desperate sigh. I watched my quill hand go up to the side of my head and push what I could only assume were lose strands of hair, that or wiping off sweat from my temple. Clearly, school work was getting the best of me already. I was not sure if two weeks had even gone by, but I was already losing my cool. I didn't need to have feeling over my body, or even look at myself to know it. Watching as I appeared to be struggling with my limbs and the notebook, another depressing groan shook my vision, as I saw that the quill had left a splatter over the opened pages. I closed the notebook instantly, and I didn't understand why.

"Faraday!" Mafalda took my attention with the slight alarm in her voice. When I turned to look at her, her eyes were widened as she edged toward me with what I liked to think was concern. "You're bleeding. Are you alright?"

Sure enough, it clicked in my mind, though I didn't really remember the occurrence happening. The splatter I had thought to be ink on my notebook before had been blood. In the absence of color in my dream, it looked as black as any common ink. One of my hands went to my nose. I didn't know if I was bleeding more, but the other hand fished Lorcan's embroidered handkerchief from within my robes to clean the mess I probably made over my face. "It's nothing."

My words only made her give me a dubious expression. "In any case, you should go to the Hospital Wing. I'll go tell Professor Kettleburn." Her volunteering was strange, I guess, even more the way she hastened away. Either she was really worried about me or she hated seeing blood. And as in control as I knew Mafalda liked to be, I think it was more because of the latter reason.

When she came back, we were no longer outside taking Care of Magical Creatures. Walking with Mafalda we made our way to where our dorm mates stood, gathered for the Duelling Society along with every Slytherin from fourth year to seventh. We were in one of the most spacious empty classrooms down in the dungeons, one that still sported the remnants of when it actually was used as a dungeon. Rusty chains and ancient leather decorated the walls, adding to the cosy and cool atmosphere under the Black Lake. It wasn't anything near as comfortable as the Slytherin Common room, but we weren't lounging around. No, that wasn't what the Duelling Society was for.

I imagined I was as poised as Gemma, as I stood next to her amidst the crowd of Slytherins students that huddled together around Lorcan.

Standing in all his splendour, with his long blond hair tied back in an easy braid I had done myself earlier, he rounded up his speech. It was sort of welcoming words, speaking promises of what the new school year would bring, and what as Slytherins we should do to keep our grandeur firmly placed. I stared at Lorcan transfixed as all the other students did. He had a commanding voice and presence, one that more than once had me jump into a tense stance. I knew that I wouldn't be able to go against anything Lorcan said since that very first time I heard him speak publically. Watching him command such respect had made me feel a bit nerve-wracked, I remembered. In my present sane state I would had tell the idiot looking at him so transfixed to run away as fast as possible. But damn,how pleasurable it felt to have his eyes go to me during his speech, even now when I knew of all he would eventually do to me.

"… and, of course, we'll win the House Cup again this year."

When Lorcan's speech ended, we began practicing Dark Arts. That was what the Duelling Society was for; a safe and secret place of gathering for Slytherin students to practice the Dark Arts.

A normal person would had refused to form part of such a meeting, even I as uncultured and unknowing as I was, knew the reputation the Dark Arts had. Seeing as they were prohibited to be taught in school, even in Defence against the Dark Arts class, and that all my Housemates seemed completely at ease with practicing them, I saw no problem with doing it clandestinely. Dumbledore had refused to tell me anything about them in our spars while I lived in the Hospital, claiming that it would be best if I waited to have better control over my abilities. I had seen books about it in the Restricted Section of the Library, but I hadn't read any of them yet. I was afraid that touching them would get my permission to look around in that Section revoked. Even more so considering that the only reason I was allowed on that side of the Library was for me to research Merlin on my own.

Since learning of the existence of the Dark Arts, I had thought them to be a matter of concern; a particular matter I should shy away from, though my curiosity sometimes threaten to get the best of me. As I stood among older students teaching younger students dark spells and hexes I had to admit that I was utterly fascinated. I remembered vividly my first Society meeting. I held onto my wand inching to do something, to have someone tell me what to do, since there was no book in the proximity that I could use to awaken my blood knowledge. I looked around the crowd for Lorcan, but he was deep in conversation with students of his year to pay attention to me. Another look around the room had me seeing that my dorm mates were already engaged in practice.

I wagered whether or not to go to them for help, until I saw someone who stood alone.

It was Regulus Black. He didn't seem particularly invested in what was taking place, looking around with an oddly familiar bored expression on his face. Still, like me he eagerly held his wand in his hand. I went to him.

"Hello, Regulus." I ventured, though there weren't many a times where I had spoken to the fifth year before. On the top of my head, most times I had talked to Regulus was to ask him directions around Hogwarts. He was a good Prefect and very patient with me, no matter how many times I asked him how to get to Charms class.

"Nolan."

"Call me Faraday, I don't mind." My voice was not pasty sweet to him, like it was with Lorcan. I was glad that when speaking to him I heard myself as normal as I now felt I was. Regulus was an impressive boy who I admired a lot. Though, I couldn't really pinpoint why. Now, as I looked at him, in many ways he reminded me of Sirius. It was mostly because of the long dark hair they kept, the fair handsome skin and the same shade of grey eyes, traits I was told were common among the Black family. "You will not practice?"

"I'm waiting for Adrian." He said as he slightly pointed forward. Adrian Flint was one of the seventh years in a fascinated discussion with looked me over. His expression didn't particularly look nice, but I didn't mind; he had always been kind to me, regardless. **"** Are you looking for someone to duel with?"

Smiling, I shook my head. "I'm looking for a teacher, actually. Would you be willing to help me?"

He took longer than I would have ever liked, but in the end he nodded and led the way to en empty spot in the room. There was barely any time wasted, Regulus began to teach me easy hexes, and though I don't know how long we were there, out of nowhere he was teaching me the Cruciatus Curse. How we had gone from dark hexes to Unforgivable Curses I don't know, but I could remember the surge that invaded me at the prospect of learning them. Of course, I had no intention to kill anyone, but the other two curses were fascinating, and after Regulus taught me how they were done by using them on me, he volunteered to be my practice dummy. I remembered getting the headaches caused by my blood knowledge, as I awoke the information of the curses hidden in my ancestry. And though I knew everything there was to be known about them, my first few tries at the Cruciatus Curse were disappointing.

"Is it doing anything?"

"Not really." Regulus said with a smile, visibly trying to keep it from forming. The me in the memory grunted slightly, taking random steps in the same spot to apparently alleviate the frustration of failing to hurt the fifth year student. "Try again, Faraday. Concentrate."

"Crucio," I said, my voice trying to evoke confidence and power. This time the curse made the boy slightly jump, and though it was progress, it didn't appear to make me feel any better. My shoulders slouched forward as I looked down to my feet. It was nothing compared to the reactions the casters next to me were getting. There were moan and grunts of pain all around, as many other had begun to practice the same Unforgivable Curse too.

Lorcan came to me then. Being the senior Slytherin Prefect, he had been supervising the spars that were taking place. He had been walking around the room, and more than once during my practice with Regulus, my eyes had rose to look for him. Now, he watched me intently, his eyes lingering over the arch I made with my arm as I pointed my wand. "Do it again."

His command was evident, and so I did as told. However, yet again, the red light only made Regulus slightly jump when it collided on his chest.

I couldn't feel my body, but hell I could remember how it had felt that particular time that he had touched my body. It was a vivid memory, chiselled into my brain for prosperity, whether I liked it or had put a hand on my lower back and with the other hand he adjusted my arm up a bit straighter. There was really no point for him to do that, other than to seem like he was doing something. Dumbledore had remarked that I had great posture since I first faced him with my wand. But that fact hadn't mattered as I let Lorcan place my limbs as he wanted, not when he was so incredibly close and lingering.

"You have to mean it." He said against my ear, for it was a whisper only meant for me, in that velvety way of his that always had me swooning. "Think of making him suffer; on seeing him go through excruciating pain."

"What kind of pain?" My voice came out as a low whimper

"Maybe the one you get when you're writing an assignment." A laugh was evident in his voice as he spoke and I joined him with a breathless one. Had I been in control over my body I knew I would be able to feel his lips against my ear. And that thought what simply revolting. He went on with his instructions."Only do it tenfold."

Again, I fired my Unforgivable Curse, and there was an immediate reaction. Regulus jumped in his spot, clutching at his torso, twisting his face in agony. He swayed slightly, almost giving the impression that he would fall over.

"That's my girl." Lorcan said, green eyes brimming with what I thought was pride, and taking the moment as the perfect opportunity to do something atrocious. As I looked up at him, he leaned down, landing a kiss next to my mouth on my cheek. Time stopped then, the dream shifted and there was darkness. I was repulsed to remember how good that kiss had felt, and how good the memory still made me shudder enough to send me into a dark abyss.

". . . and Rabastan gave me a single flower, set to bloom whenever I gave it a kiss. By far it's the best date he's ever taken me on." Gertrude said as she waddled next to me out of the Library. "But of course, it's too soon for Lorcan to do such gestures."

"I wouldn't know what to do if he did." And if he had done any sort of thing like that the memory of it would be enough to make me vomit.

But Gertrude didn't know that at the moment, nor did the me she was talking to as we made our way past throngs of students off to fulfilled their school day. We were in the second floor, nearing the Study Hall. Light shined through the crystal windows, lighting up Gertrude face, eliminating grey shadows as she looked at me."You really fancy him don't you?"

It was subtle, but I noticed how my head nodded. Then someone went past me, knocking me bit forward.

"Excuse me." Was all I heard, but a flash of red hair was all I needed to know who it was. I had thought it was rude, it was clear with the disgusted dignified looks I shared with Gertrude. It had been rude, in all honesty. But my heart felt light with delight at seeing Lily, my one true girl friend. What past me thought about her didn't matter, past me was an idiot for not being friends with Lily Evans. Even more so considering how she went, blazing as only she was capable, toward the Study Hall wand in hand

"Potter, I'm warning you!" She said standing on the very arch that led to the Hall. She looked imposing as ever, a warrior witch that could instil fear into the hearts of men and woman if she wanted. As I watched her trapped inside my body, I felt sorry for poor James, probably sitting in the Hall doing anything but work, and having to face the embodiment of heavenly raging fire. "If I have to subtract more points from my own House because of you I'm going to hex you so bad that not even your mother will recognize you."

Her screamed words echoed in the hallway, the threat real and frightening, and though I would have given all my worldly possessions to see James' reaction, I was no longer in Lily's proximity.

White beds, neatly fitted stood in rows, as I sat on one of them in the Hospital Wing. I looked at my lap, watching intently as I fidgeted with Lorcan's handkerchief. It was covered all over with dark spots and I immediately knew why I was there. Madam Pomfrey contorted her features, surprising me that she wasn't berating me with needing to rest or such. She always did that whenever we met; which unfortunately for me happened too often, and also meant having Dumbledore around. Sure enough, my eyes roamed and I was able to see him standing at the foot of my bed. Supervising the exchange as he was supposed to, he was silent.

"How many hours of sleep do you manage?" She asked me tentatively holding a brown vial in her hand as she faced me. My eyes lingered on it more than on the matron, and I could understand why. If I was in pain at that moment, I had no way of knowing, but if the vial was out in the open probably meant that I was in dire need of it.

My reply came slow, hesitant of telling her, however she was my Healer for the moment. If I didn't tell her and get worst I would end up going back to St. Mungo's. In any moment of my life that was something to avoid. "Five, sometimes six."

"And are you eating all your meals?"

"I might've skipped one or two." I said hesitantly, obviously trying to keep my lying believable. Of course I skipped meals. My desperation with readying, studying and catching up to the curriculum enough to get good grades had me missing more meals that I could remember needing.

Madam Pomfrey was not happy with me as was evident with her glare and then later her dishearten sigh as she handed me the vial to drink.

"Will it be enough, Pommy?" Dumbledore asked, edging forward to assess the matter more closely, I supposed. Even looking at the memory for a second time I could see in him real concern, and that didn't make me feel good. I was looking at him through the corner of my eye as my head tilted back to drink the potion I had been given. It was a body relaxation potion, one that I had drank many a time to combat the strain the blood knowledge headaches gave me and my obsessive lifestyle.

"Something must be done about missing meals, but for now this solution will do," Pomfrey said, the low spirits of earlier gone and replaced by her normal resilience as she turned to Dumbledore fully. "However, Headmaster, I cannot stretch any further her need to rest. Miss Nolan is resilient, yet she has her limitations. I would think it best that she stayed the night here, away from her work."

Dumbledore eyed me for what seemed like the longest time. For the life me he didn't seem too believing of the matron, even as I sat holding on to Lorcan's handkerchief all bloodied.

"Rest will not progress your education," I thought that was said by Dumbledore, but when my gaze rose to look at him again; he wasn't the one I saw. Nowhere near the Hospital Wing, I stood in front of Merlin in my normal spot as he was the one who had spoken. "Coming to this school was never meant to be an easy road, not even to normal students."

"I told Dumbledore that Pomfrey is the one fussing. I think I'm doing well." I defended myself, unmoving from my spot, but wild hair shaking all over the place. It seemed strange to me for a moment, to have my hair down, however I supposed it was after hours and I had slipped out of my bed in my nightgown to talk to the portrait. Looking down for a second, I managed to catch sight of my white sleep clothes, hidden away under the outer school robe I normally put over myself when leaving my dorm room, unless it was a night of a full moon, of course.

"You are." Merlin pressed visually more accustomed to me than before. He seemed kinder and comfortable, testimony to the few weeks worth of meetings and conversation we had. We were already getting used to each other, and that was somewhat heart-warming to see. "Though of course, we have yet to see. If your marks are not satisfactory in the tests that will soon take place, I'm afraid that we will have to pay special attention to your schedule, and transfer time to where you are lacking."

No, it was not heart-warming, it was fucking annoying to have a third party pressing and pressing for me to always give more and more than I was physically able to give.

"Faraday?" My name emerged from within nothingness, and I turned to see Lorcan coming down the stairs that led to the Slytherin portrait. He was still dressed in his school robes, and though the me in the dream was silent, I was more than certain that I was internally screaming at having him catch me after finishing his rounds. His Prefect badge was oddly shinny in the black and white. Eyes going from me to Merlin, he approached with no trepidation, ever the sun, ever a figure of power. "What are you doing here?"

His sudden appearance took me for a loop, as I head myself gasping for an answer. "I w-was just ta-talking to Mer—" My eyes flew to Merlin, who remained passive at the interruption and to my almost reveal of his true identity. My body took an audible deep breath before correcting myself. "The Old Wizard."

"You're the seventh year prefect, Mulciber yes?" The painting said, uncaring of the situation and that I might have gotten in trouble right then and there.

"I am." He said to Merlin, but he didn't look at the man in the frame. His eyes were on me as he talked; his brow tied together as if there was something he didn't understand. "I was doing the last rounds of the night. And here I find you Faraday, out after curfew. It does not sit well in me to have to punish members of my own House."

Past me stuttered a little, much like I knew Peter did. In my defence, I guess I hadn't the foggiest idea of what excuse I could say. Idiocy used to rear its ugly head in me when he was around. I couldn't tell him that I had Dumbledore's permission to talk to the painting whenever I wanted because I was related to the memory of the man capture in it. That would've raised too many questions, in addition that it would not look good that I had such a close bond with a painting. Not even Dumbledore approved of that bit. Lorcan would do the same, even more so considering that he dismissed the painting immediately after finding me there. It was evident when he grabbed my hand. "Come along, best we entered. Nostrum furor."

Merlin did not open at the sound of the password. He remained closed, glaring at Lorcan in a way that I, in any time of my life, would hate to have directed at me. "I am not finished conversing with Faraday, boy."

"You are for now. Goodnight." Lorcan said decidedly, waiting for the portrait to swing open.

My eyes went from Lorcan to the painting of my ancestor, desperately. What I wanted to happen between the two, I had no idea, but I was livid inside that Mulciber had treated the picture so rudely. How dare he? The only one that could be rude to the canvas was me, and even I didn't enjoy doing that without reason. Looking at Merlin, his face twisted with disgust and anger, directed sorely at the boy next to me. However, he did as told, swinging opened. Why he accepted the defeat will remain as a mystery for me, and I would have liked to think more on that, yet I couldn't, for I was pulled inside.

"You shouldn't take the Old Wizard too seriously. He's merely a drawing." Lorcan said once the door closed behind us. The common room was dim in accordance to the hour, dark and grey when it should had been cool and green.

Lorcan loosened the knot of his tie as he led me to stop in the very middle of the common room between the sofas, sighing as he went. "It's late, let's turn in," He turned to me, evaporating the small distance between us to land a kiss on my forehead. I couldn't feel it, but just the memory of it was enough for me to imagine my stomach twisting and lurching horribly. When he parted from me, he got a good look at my face, his so close to mine to be almost taken aback by whatever he saw on it."When was the last time you slept? You look dreadful, my sweet. Where you crying again?"

I nodded.

"How many times must I repeat it? It's beneath you to cry," The tone of voice he used was not nice, though not bad either. It was stuck in the criticizing spectrum, as if telling me I was really doing wrong to cry. As if that part of my nature was bad and unworthy of myself for me to do. He pushed my face up to look only at him with a hand under my chin. Having nothing but Lorcan invading my eyesight wasn't pleasurable, not like I might have thought of it once. I wanted to glare him into oblivion, show him my well developed hatred for him, yet that was impossible. Not when his green eyes waited for me to speak, and I had no control over my body or how my past occurred **.**

"I'm sorry." I apologized for some reason and that made him smile. Of course it made Mr. Pestilence smile, he loved having me submit to him.

"Oh Faraday." His face looked relaxed as a smile broke into it, making his normally handsome feature even more so. He was the sun after all, and at the presence of that smile I really did pity myself again. I had no chance against him. "You are adorably daft."

Lorcan's face blurred and then suddenly, he wasn't standing in front of me anymore. I was outside once again looking at nothing.

Or at least I thought for a few minutes that I was looking at nothing, but that wasn't true. I was with my fellow classmates, outside waiting for Care for Magical Creatures class to begin. I wasn't talking to any of the Slytherins, and though I could hear their muffled voices eager for class, I couldn't see them. Not when my gaze was unmoving. For the longest time it stayed in place, I couldn't remember why, yet still I stared and stared, at the Forbidden Forest.

If maybe the reason was that I was waiting for Professor Kettleburn to emerge from within the trees, then it would make sense. I had done that many times, but the one time my gaze separated from the forest gave me the perfect answer to my question.

My gaze went up, lazily up as if it was heavy, and there it was. Shinning past clouds and sunlight, the moon peaked into the day sky, almost completely round and bright. The full moon was close, probably a day or two away, and even if I didn't know it back in the time of the dream, it was already affecting me. Lady Moon's influence was already cursing through my blood, and standing so close to the Forbidden Forest, well it was no wonder I could only stare at it.

And then, suddenly, I could see my reflection staring back at me, and it took me a longer moment than usual to figure out that I didn't have a twin nor was I staring unto a mirror. No it was a window, showing my reflection as good as windows could. It was the strangest thing, to finally see myself in the dream. I recognized myself well, but the me that I saw was still different. She looked prettier than I had ever felt, and more at ease with herself than I can imagine myself try being again. That girl was a stranger to me, a stranger that had died at the hands of the person that held her close that very moment. My reflection was not alone.

"…fairly simple to carry out, and then you will be an official member of the Duelling Society." Lorcan finished. He held me close, my back pressed against his chest as his arms tied me to him. We sat in front of a big window, the school grounds stretching in the view. We were particularly high up, like fifth or sixth floor up, looking out at the students filling outside, enjoying their spare free time as we were.

Even at the altitude, I could make out people, and it made me happy to recognize Peter, James, Sirius and Remus walking off in the grounds. I watched them strut away in the direction of Hagrid's hut and it made me fairly content trying to imagine where they were headed or what sort of trouble they were they brewing. But Lorcan's moving brought me back to seeing just us in the window. I wished I could see my friends again, even if it only a little, yet that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. I saw as a hand took hold of my face, moving it, twisting me around to meet lips with the person sitting with me.

It wasn't our first kiss, no. That had been filled with butterflies and rainbows and all sorts of pasty magical feelings a couple nights after the first Society meeting. I was abysmally glad that I could feel nothing from this kiss, and that past me had the decency to close her eyes while doing it. To have to go through them again would be hell, and would had me considering yet again that maybe the whole dream experience was my one way to death. Death would be better than submitting to Lorcan Mulciber again.

"When will the initiation take place?" I managed to say, even though my voice sounded completely stupefied because of the gesture I had just received.

"Tomorrow," He said his arms appearing to snake tighter around me. "During the full moon."

In the window I could see my reflection as clear as earlier, smiling brightly at what I had been told. Again it was so strange to see myself that happy, that carefree. By grandpa Merlin, I was such an idiot. However, I couldn't judge myself too harshly, though. Not when Lorcan kissed me again.

* * *

AN: This chapter suffered a mayor re-write two weeks ago. Let's take that as the excuse as to why it's so long. There were many important things to be mentioned and reference, as well as some plots to be justified.

Did, however, this chapter need to turn out this long? Probably not. Like this whole story, I got carried away with it and now it's annoyingly long. Not that I'm mad, I love to read long fics, but man this is exhausting work. At least I get joy out of writing this. And I can't fucking wait to get further along the plot. Yasssss.

Next chapter hopefully won't be as long as this one, though there's a lot to cover. I decided to go full circle with this massive flashback at some point last month, so they will end where the story started. Sorry for the spoiler.

Read, enjoy and review if you have the time, lovely people.


	35. Author's Note

Author's Note:

Okay people, I've got a slash of bad news, but first a disclaimer:

English is not my first language, I'm writing this from my tablet and I'm in a hurry. please forgive the errors I'll probably type here.

That being said, on to the news.

The next chapter is not written yet. I was taking long with it, but considering how I've been posting these last months, well it was normal. however there has been an anomaly. I live in Puerto Rico and I don't know if it's been on the news but we were hit by a category 4 hurricane on September 19(Im not even sure now, my days are jumbled up). Since then the whole island, not just my house and town, have been without electricity and phone signals. which means no possible internet. this have gotten better, but I had to drive up north the island to be able to post this and to even communicate with some family. it was a two hour trip for phone signal.

so, I won't be posting anytime soon.i just wanted to say that.

I am writing tho. my dad got an electric plant and I've been able to turn my computer on. I'll probably post the next time I get phone signal in my house.

please have pacience with me. I'll post as soon as I can. I'm not dropping this fic. Im actually using this fic to deal with the stress of the disaster.

if you comment, I thank you now for it cause I won't be able to see it for a while. I am not sure, really. anything can happen.

have a wonderful day and be safe, my dear people.

love, Melanie XD


	36. Chapter 35: The dream part IV

**AN:** Here I am! And I'm finally posting.

I had originally intended to cut this chapter in two while I was writing it because it seemed more pleasing to me to have an actual time pause between certain parts, but I decided against it. After all the time I wasted, plus Hurricane Maria, I thought it would be best to leave it together. Its better this way; we get to move on, finally. Let's be real, this fic is draaaaaagging on too much, so I should stop adding more chapters (even though I do plan for this fic to be long). Honestly, it's Lorcan that's making it this way (I love him, so I have gotten carried away with him). Once we move on from him we can get to the serious paring of this story, and I AM DYING to get there.

Thank you to ALL YOU LOVELY PEOPLE that left me good wishes. My family and I are fine, powering through this crisis as best we can. Things are slowly being fixed here. I still don't have electricity in my house, hence no internet, but I'll manage with what little phone signal I get somewhere. And you all are awesome and deserve cookies and rainbows and for all your favourite fics to get updated on the same day!

So yeah, this here is a mega chapter, the longest we've have. I really hope I don't write another as long as this one. It's tiring and slow and I need to get to more fun parts.

I have more to say at the end of the chapter.

* * *

 **Chapter 35:** The dream part IV

"Excuse me, but I'm not in the mood for chatter." I told the portrait of Merlin as I left Slytherin House alone. It was a surprising thing, to leave the common room not trailing behind my dorm mates. The fact made me think I was heading for the Library or somewhere to study on my own, and it was beyond annoying to know that I was so damn predictable. However I could hardly blame myself, with the abysmal curriculum I had willingly chosen to follow. I needed routine like a drowning man needed air. "I have work to finish."

"That is precisely why I have stopped you. I am here to help you, you merely need to ask." The drawing said. Although his tone was complete filled with thoughtfulness and his normal assertiveness, it didn't stop me from letting out an exasperated sounding sigh.

My body turned around, standing face to face with the man depicted in the frame. "I have everything under control."

What my face depicted, I didn't know, but that in no way unsettled Merlin. Not nearly enough to keep him from speaking again. And he was one to always speak, he was insufferable in that way, even just looking at the dream play out it was evident, and though I wasn't as annoyed by him now as I was back at the beginning of the term, I still found his meddling tiresome. "Headmaster Dumbledore has been kind enough to share your health record with me."

"I'm fine." My words came out as if they had been practiced a hundred times, and if I remembered correctly, they were. "Though I do not understand why he would share that information with you."

The portrait of my ancestor didn't take the venom in my voice kindly. He recognized it instantly, and in a matter of a second his face close over in a manner that I couldn't help but think that reminded me much of the fact that he was as pure Slytherin as I was. "I may not be the real Merlin that once lived, but I do carry a part of him. At least that is something the Headmaster _understands_."

I highly doubted his words. Dumbledore was one to ever warn me about my proximity to the century old painting. Past me had enough sense to not speak back to Merlin against that topic, though I don't know if it was clear to me back then.

"And I do hold memories of life in this school **.** Hogwarts has always been a place of academical greatness, and I vividly remember relishing my privilege to come here, regardless of the sleepless night huddled over parchment. But what a marvel it was to sit in the common room with my colleagues and spent hours discussing all that had been learned in the were good days. As far as I've seen, Slytherin House has change much to the point that I don't recognize much of what it does. Or the things the company you keep force you to take part in." His tone was accusatory, and my gaze snapped up to him immediately. He knew of the Duelling Society and the things I was taught there. Did he know because he had once done them himself or because he had been told? Surely it didn't matter, if I was just willingly learning an art that was already in my blood. A dark art that meant he had passed down to me, in a way. Regardless of the topic of the Society, his insinuation that either the girls of my dorm or Lorcan were a bad influence on me didn't sit well at that moment. In my way of thinking, the portrait of Merlin had no right to speak ill of my friends. "Speak to Dumble—"

Whatever I had been thinking while the drawing spoke was catastrophically agitated by the sudden, but not out of place, mention of the Headmaster of Hogwarts.

"I'm tired of speaking to him! All I've done since I woke up is talk to Dumbledore." And it was the undoubted truth. Even after coming to the school and evading the Headmaster at all cost, he was still one of the people I talked to the most. Though, it delighted me to think that he was now behind Lily and Peter in that regard. But past me didn't have that peace of mind, and in the confines of vision I watched an affronted expression be born in the portraits face at my stubborn words. "I won't do it."

"Do not raise your voice at me." Merlin's eyes burned with icy blue spark, as his mouth pressed together to form a thin line.

If the intensity of his growing anger was supposed to hold me back, it didn't. Whatever was going through my mind at the time was explosive to the point that I didn't care of how rude I was being or the insult I was paying to the last remnant of not only my known family, but of a legendary wizard. As much contempt as I sometimes held toward Merlin and his pestering, it didn't sit well to me anymore to be offensive to him. "I'll do what I want. You aren't a bloody person; I have no reason to do as you say."

My words visibly shook him. He tried to retaliate as fast as he could, but at that moment I happened to be faster. "Morgana—"

"There you go again, calling me that name." My voice was laced with annoyance, ever the same when he in particular called me anything but Faraday. "Are you talking about Morgana the dark witch? Do I remind you of her _that_ much?"

He huffed; his face twisting in ways that I now knew only the mention of Morgana could produce in him. I believe he hadn't thought until then that I would have looked up the name he sometimes called me by mistake. My sudden mention of a detail about her, that she was a dark witch of all things, did not make anything better. Without a word he stood from the chair he had been painted on, and left his frame. I stared at the empty canvas for a long while, at a loss for words wondering where he had gone off to.

Before I knew it, Lorcan Mulciber was tucking a lose strand of hair to the side of my head as we sat for lunch in the Great Hall. Pleased that my normal bun hairdo was in a composed position, he turned back to his plate of food.

My own plate looked barely touched, as I noticed when my line of vision went along the table. We were sitting along an array of the most powerful Slytherins in the school, all on the pedestal of age and position as well as family situation. There were some exceptions to one or two of those matters, but the alarming bit was that I was sitting near the very top. Lorcan Mulciber was the current possessor of all the best thought of qualities to our house. Ancestry, blood purity, money, age, excellent marks and the Prefect position, and handsome looks to boot; he was grace with all. And by association so was I. No one questioned my sudden appearance in thewizarding world, or my claims of being from an ancient pure-blooded family. No one even tried to question me about it anymore. I was Lorcan's girl, and if he thought I was good enough for himself, then everybody else held no doubt that I was part of the elite too.

The thought and fact that once I had swelled with pride for it, made me want to be nauseous. If only the repulsion could ransack my body, then maybe I wouldn't feel so horrible watching how lovingly he looked at me, and how much I shared those sentiments with him.

It was only lunch time, so the table wasn't filled with the same pleasant conversation as it would happen during dinner, but the steady flux of students joining the table and leaving was enjoyable enough. My eyes, though most of the time insisted on staring on some part of Mulciber's body, did venture away from the Slytherin table. I thought of relief only when my vision scanned around the Great Hall. Particularly, I knew I ignored the teachers' table, so to not meet the eye of a certain Headmaster. That was probably the only sensible things my past self did that I could stand by. Other than that I looked around, concentrating on fellow students I had interactions with from other houses and such, sometimes lingering, most times , my eyes lingered for more than a moment on the Gryffindor table, and in that very line of vision, I could clearly make out Peter, James and Sirius.

I only saw the faces of the first two; Sirius had his back to me as they sat for their meal. As always, the sight of them in the dream was a much needed breath of fresh air. But they weren't up to their normal rambunctious attitudes. They were oddly silent, shoving food into their mouth more out of habit than need or satisfaction. Peter was the only one that looked slightly more as his normal self. I was able to notice his head twitch from side to side as he too, like me, looked around. At once his mouth began to move, and whatever he said was answered by James giving a tense nod.

I wondered at them for a while, even after I was not looking at them anymore for I was paying attention to whatever Lorcan was doing to me then; an atrocious gesture like kissing the side of my head, probably. It was disgusting just thinking about it, and I was glad I could distract myself with thinking about my friends. The Marauders' behaviour seemed strange, like they were amidst the most problematic prank they were about to pull, but it wasn't long until I realized the true nature of their attitude that day in the Great Hall. Remus wasn't with them and though there could be a million reasons as to why that was, my mind went to only one. The true one. I remembered with a frightful start that the fateful day had arrived finally in the dream. Remus was suffering the coming peak of his curse. It was to be the night of September's full moon.

If I had control over my body I would had lost it. The moment I had dreaded seeing again was soon approaching, and I had yet to wake up.

My gaze returned to my table, to find Lorcan standing up. His hand levitated in front of me, waiting to be taken, and my hand seemed to waste no time in meeting it. With his support, I got up, but at the last second control over my limbs evaded my past self, and my body swayed. My free hand used the table to steady myself, while the other one clutched on to Lorcan, who held me with concern in his eyes.

His concern over me would had made my heart quiver in delight, had I not known the monster that laid hidden behind his perfect looks and blond locks. "Are you alright?"

My head went up and down, the vision swirling slightly and almost giving the impression that what I was seeing would change. But it didn't. Lorcan Mulciber remained holding me, as the me in the dream explained what she thought was wrong with her. "I'm just dizzy."

Lorcan face was pinched in concentration, as if he thought I was lying or was unsure that I had any idea of what I was feeling.

I hadn't notice that back then, but Merlin I wished I did. Maybe that way his ill treatments later wouldn't have hurt as much. Though I knew I wasn't kidding anyone. Before the night of the full moon, I could had seen Lorcan do a killing curse and thought nothing of it.

"Carrow," He called over the table and Gemma immediately stood, as if her name alone had been a command. She had been sitting close, with the rest of the girls of my year, and at the call they all looked at me instantly. Their scrutiny when it came related to Lorcan was not something I enjoyed, and even in the dream I found myself looking away as Gemma made her way to my side. "Faraday isn't feeling well. Take her to rest. I need her to be in top shape for tonight."

"I'm fine." I pressed.

"I'm sure you are, my sweet." Lorcan's eyes held sweetness; a sticky, rotten expression that went well with him as he took my hand and kissed it. "Forgive me for not taking care of you. There's still much for me to do for the initiation."

As understanding as he played to be in front of me, I knew his truest color. I saw as my head went up and down again, accepting his excuses as if he was being considerate of me, and not abandoning me for his position in the Duelling Society. His words were, I had learned all too well, poison.

But that didn't matter, as I no longer could see him. In one moment, Gemma was grabbing hold of me to help me walk away and in the other she was letting me go to sit on what even a lazy look around was enough to recognize as my bed in our dorm.

"Will you be alright?" Gemma helped me get my feet on the bed. I laid on my side over the covers, and I wonder if it had even crossed my mind to pull them over me. Probably not. But Gemma eyed up and down the length of me giving me the impression that she might have had the thought. Thank the heavens she didn't. I was all up for friendly or sisterly even, compassion, however tucking into bed would have been borderline embarrassing. Maybe she thought the same thing. Her concern genuine or forced, was replaced by something I knew better, composed imposition of responsibilities and obligations. That, even past me would agree, was better than having my dorm mate shower me with attention like a Healer. "If you don't get initiated today you won't be able to attend the Society gatherings."

If I got to chose now, I would have rather never attend the damn Duelling Society. But as I watched the dream unfold, looking at Gemma through half glazed eyes, I realized it was inevitable, just as it was the moon's hold on me that particular night.

It was different that the rest of the other occasions I had been forced under her influence; I know that now since I remember well. I try to forget most times my monthly ventures with Lady Moon, but never will I forget the strength in which I was taken that September's full moon. My controlled senses were dwindling, my eyes blurred at any given moment, and my mind seemed to try to gently tear itself away from me, and leave my body behind as an empty husk. Much like my dream down memory lane felt, only that I still held a connection with my body as it was steadily racked through the night with sensations. They made me lightheaded, drunk, almost as if sick with fever; a gentle version of the agony I knew Remus must had been feeling that very moment **.**

That September night, the moon took a stronger hold on me than ever; I had always had the inkling that it had to do with the fact that it was the first time I was taken over. It was a matter than even though I had tried to ignore and keep myself from over thinking, it still managed to slip into my mind and I had arrived at a certain conclusion.

That night, the very night I now knew I was about to relive, was clouded with tragedy and pain because it was the first time that my body was allowed to fully take the moon's influence.

While I was in St. Mungo's Hospital, I had begun to feel the effects of the moon two times. Those occasions had been derailed afternoons for me, consumed by disrupting thoughts and drunken moves. In both cases, I received the attention of the Healers charged with my care, and with a particular strong sleep solution, I managed to stressfully sleep the moon off without walking the dark corridors of the Hospital.

So that now, as Gemma's standing figure went from clear to blurry, I knew I was feeling the heightened control of the moon. Morgana's blood was screaming from within me, begging to get out and be burned away with cold and gentle pale rays. However, that was not to happen. I would not feel the moon's light that night, not when I believed an hour or two of sleep would better my condition so to then attend the Duelling Society.

"Sleep will help, I'm certain." I said with a nod.

Gemma gave me a doubtful expression, though I didn't understand why. What did it matter if I was well or not? She had an obligation to take care of me, and there was nothing she could do to help me in that situation. The one thing she could do was take me to the Hospital Wing, and that would mean missing the initiation. And that would most possibly mean angering Lorcan. That would be the last thing Gemma would want. "I'll wake you later."

She blurred within my line of vision, and then completely disappeared when everything went dark **.**

The next I saw, I was walking through the common room. Gemma held on to my arm, in what I could see beyond the haze of my drunkenness. I couldn't feel the effects of the moon, but I could clearly see them. My vision no longer blurred, the moon giving way to inner senses to take hold and highlighted my average self. Everything appeared to be in its best resolution, jumping at me to demand my attention. Gemma's Prefect badge was one of those things. It shone with bright silver light, inviting to the touch with every engraved line placed upon it.

Watching the dream, watching how Lady Moon's influence took over my blood was definitely a surreal thing.

Gemma Carrow somehow still managed to lead me when I was sure that there was no one capable of controlling me in that state. Not unless I wanted to. Maybe, I did want the Prefect to lead me away. The full moon had arrived; I knew my blood would want to feel the gentle rays. That the lingering part of Morgana inside of me wanted to play. And that meant going outside. But that September, it was impossible to do so.

When I was pulled through the portrait hole to the rest of the school, Merlin called out for me. It was a concern call for my name, one that was ignored by the girl pulling me in her haste to get to the Duelling Society. But past me did hear and recognized my name. I looked back to watch the concerned face of the most famous Slytherin wizard and tried to raise a hand. My intention probably was to make him see that all was well, and for he to not worry, however, my state it had the opposite effect. His expression was unsettling for me to see now that I wasn't as high a dirigible. Merlin had seen something in me when I turned to wave at him, something startled him as he watched me go to a point I had never seen before. But I had no time to look at the painting clearly, as Gemma pulled me down that very same corridor in the dungeon levels of the castle.

Slytherin House, all students from fourth year to seventh were gathered for the initiation ceremony on the Duelling Society. Though it was a special occasion, everybody was dressed in casual robes, loitering around and waiting in excitement for the time honoured rituals to begin. I stepped into all that as an aberration, a strange wild thing that craved only for the embrace of the moon, and obviously I was stared at.

My vision morphed their faces together as I looked at them, and when only one face came into focus, it was Lorcan's.

And his face was not kind, not even to me as he went to grab my arm. "What's wrong?"

"The moon calls." I said in a voice that wasn't mine, but yet I recognized as my own. It was one of the many weird sensations I had felt when the full moon happened. My voice, though mine, was different slightly in a way I could never fully understand.

If Lorcan noticed the difference as I did, or he was just perturbed about my anything but rational answer, he didn't say anything, at least not to me. His unkind face went from acceptable to show his girlfriend, to full blow Death Plague under a second, as I watched his gaze jumped unto Gemma. Poor Gemma was sturdy and elegant enough to keep her head held up, as the intensity of the fires of hell were unleashed on her. Watching, though I felt bad for her, a little part in me was glad that for once the stare wasn't directed at me. No, not yet."What happened, she's worst?"

Gemma's eyes darted away from the intensity of hellfire as she shrugged in frustration. She was better at handling his hate than I ever was. Then again, Gemma had been under him for far longer than I had. They, as far as I knew, had only had a courteous relationship, one business-like of which depended Gemma's position among the House. If she lost that position she would lose the power she held in school, the power she held over everyone else beneath her.

Failing Lorcan Mulciber was something to be evaded like the plague, failing him was close to losing everything. But she wouldn't do that, not that night went I was the one meant for it. "She woke up like this. Maybe we should take her to the Hospital Wing."

"There's no time for that now." Lorcan spat unpleasantly at her, almost losing face in the presence of the Slytherin horde reunited around him. It was important that his girl was in opulent state, and I wasn't. My eyes more than once concentrated on his brows, as if I was trying to count the little blond hairs that I could barely see. I only stopped when he came close again, pulling me to him to be able to speak softly to me. Though his words weren't soft. Hearing them without the haze the moon calling my blood, his words were sharp and selfish. "Listen Faraday, I need you to power through this, alright? A lot depends on this night. We have to follow tradition to the dot. You have to play your part like the rest of us. After that, I'll take you to rest."

I nodded at him like I cared of what he said when that wasn't the case. I did not possess a care in the world in that condition.

"Watch over her." He commanded Gemma, in a horrible way and left to continue his duties.

It was the night the fourth year Slytherins were going to be initiated into the Duelling Society, and I was among them. Though their faces swirled from detailed to blurry, I knew they were busting with emotions, even if past me hadn't seen. The Duelling Society was a time honor tradition of the House of Salazar Slytherin; Lorcan, Mafalda, Gemma and a score of many other people had told me so. To be a part of it was the first step into the adult high society outside of Hogwarts, it was said. Therefore, of course, no one in their right mind could even dare to think to waste such an amazing opportunity.

The initiation consisted of two parts. The first one dealt with trust within the Society and its members. We were supposed to have a member perform the two nonlethal Unforgivable Curses on us. And that was simple enough to do, hell even in my drunkenness, I could already see and hear it happening. There were leering older students walking around, looking for a fourth year to be in need of their services as they held on to their wands, but luckily none of them dared come my way.

My gaze shifted between focus and swirls, and in the midst of it all Gemma was with me.

I had no way to tell how long we had been standing there. Maybe she even was still holding on to me, like earlier. I didn't know. Past me didn't react to her presence or her touch for me to be able to tell.

"I'll do the curses on you quick, and then—" I heard Gemma say and in the corner of my eye I saw the point of her wand. But my gaze, drunken to the point of causing nausea if I could feel it, finally went into focus, and I left the sixth year Prefect calling after me. "Where are you going?"

My steps weren't flimsy or derailed; they were sure and fast as I walked between a group of students that needed no word to make way for me. They parted as I passed, my eyes set on one particular person for some reason. I don't know why I went to him, to this day I still sometimes wonder, but Regulus Black turned when he noticed me approaching, ignoring Gemma's calls. He stood with his arms crossed, as he had been talking in a whisper with his friend Adrian Flint.

"Hello, Professor." I heard myself say to him without shame.

He stood with his friend, and he looked at me uncertain for a moment, probably noticing that I wasn't in a normal state. There was profoundness twice his age in his grey eyes as he tried to figure out what to do with me. Though the me in the dream was sure and unabashed about the situation the moon's influence caused, I couldn't help but feel the mortification. There I was, presenting myself to him in such an uncouth way, and he was gracious enough not humour me. I really owed Regulus more than I could imagine. As we were, even with Flint staring at me like I was something strange, the fifth year treated me like always, a smile breaking through the normal uninterested look he sported on his face. "Need help today too?"

My vision blurred again as I nodded.

My body was slightly shaking, I could tell, as I stood within the group of fourth years once again. The first part was done, and though I don't remember exactly what had happened, the fact that Regulus still talked to me every once in a while after that horrible night was proof that everything had gone well. He had performed the curses on me, and I don't remember feeling anything. Maybe I didn't even feel a thing, I had no way of knowing for a certain.

"And now," The dungeon filled with a breath of anticipation as Lorcan spoke over all of us. From where I stood, he looked as what he was, a figure of ultimate power. "The final test of our future members."

At his words, the doors to the room were opened by Peregrine Yaxley, the seventh year female prefect and Severus Snape. I saw as he made a gesture to whoever stood outside to come in, a mean smile plastered on his pasty face. There was a wave of whispers going about, ranging from surprised confusion to muffled excitement.

I stared at the arrivals, my vision shifting and reeling, but remaining at the scene at hand.

From the doors stepping to the room in pairs, came all the Slytherin first years. They were eye-wide, shyly looking around at the congregation they had now surprisingly joined. My line of view followed their march to the middle of the dungeon. All of the children were wearing their school robes, probably hastily and suddenly awoken in the night to take part in the initiation. As I watched them, their faces so young and fresh I wondered about myself. What would I had really thought, hadn't I been under the moon that night? Would had things been the same? Or would I have done differently?

Seeing them again, seeing them in a right mind made me wish I could vomit.

"Now, future colleagues," Lorcan said, his voice carrying over the silence of the room. Face washed with light, he sported a particular smile on his face that looking at it now frightened me as he stood in his best form. I knew that smile perfectly, I had felt it directed at me in many horrendous occasions. It was a smile that brought plagues and pestilences. "You will each chose one first year, it doesn't matter which and you will perform the two curses that were casted on you. And worry not; Peregrine here,"Lorcan pointed at the Prefect, who smiled with delight at being highlighted as she stood next to him. "Is particularly good at memory charms. With her expertise, the first years won't remember a thing; it'll be just a harmless nightmare come morning."

He still sported that atrocious smile as he finished his horrifying instructions. "Off to it then."

I was dumbfounded at having to see myself in that position, at having technically, to be again in that position. With the moon's influence, I had no way to be completely certain of what my emotions had been back then, but looking through my eyes was enough. I didn't move from my spot, all I did was look around and that was indicator enough that I was stunned at the whole thing. I watched eleven year olds begin to cry at the severity of the situation they were forced into, and some fourteen year olds shaking in their school robes. The older students knew that they had to do it, they had to be part of the Society, but the younger ones held hope at this being a joke. But one had only to look around to tell that wasn't the case.

Students from the higher years looked around waiting, mixtures of expressions loitering around the dungeon. There were nasty smiles, much like Lorcan's passing around, however those weren't much, and I was delighted to see that. Behind the students sporting nasty smiles, there were serious faces, red faces and regretful faces, all hiding from the limelight. There was even a fifth year girl clutching to her friend, her face buried in the embrace.

Maybe she was taken with emotion, or maybe she had a sibling in first year. Whatever the case, when none of the fourth years to be initiated moved to choose a first year, older students pushed the younger kids to partner up, regardless of the aversion within the two groups. The initiation of the Duelling Society was going to happened, whether anyone liked it or not. And the situation was mixed, but that didn't matter.

A scared little boy was set in front of me.

Big and wide hazel eyes stared at me unmoving, taking me in, pleading with me as they shook with fear. It seemed to me like we stared at each other for the longest time.

It made me wonder, staring at the young face of a boy I knew well, what was the basis of such a task, such a tradition that required the anguish of an innocent. It was done, surprisingly, without discrimination; it went against most thought within Slytherins. I knew the boy to be a pureblood, from the Sacred Twenty-Eight no less. Yet there he was. There was no basis to it. It wasn't bigotry directed at muggle-borns or traitors or those with tarnished blood. What did it teach? The first part of the initiation made sense. I understood it to be an act of trust, of one person willingly accepting pain as a fee to be a member of a close-knit group. This task was not that.

It was simply an act of villainy, proof that we could do anything without consequence, proof that we could do terrible things. And it appalled me to think that all that were present save the first and fourth years had gone through it. Gemma, Hestia even Lorcan had gone through it. Had they really? For how long had such a villainous activity taken place enough for it to be considered a tradition? Years? Centuries? Did Merlin partake in such an action when he stood in my place?

The thought was frightening.

"I don't think I can do this." A fourth year close to me admitted to the girl next to him, who impart held on to her wand tightly.

"We have to, Johnston." She said back to him, not afraid like he was.

I had wondered, many times like those two, what would have happened to me then if I wasn't out of my own control, if the moon didn't awoke Morgana's blood inside or me? Would I have been filled with doubt or fear as well? Would I spoken up against what was going to happen? Somehow I knew, and it filled me with shame, that should it had been a normal night, one in which the moon didn't play with the remnants of one of the ancestors in my blood, than I would have tentatively taken full part of the nights activities. I would have done what was expected and demanded from me by my fellow housemates. My place in Slytherin House would be much different now, and I would still be with Lorcan Mulciber.

Suddenly, all that I knew was soon to take place didn't seem as bad as it once had, not when it meant evading pestilence incarnated.

"What is your name, little one?" I heard myself say in that drunken voice that wasn't quite mine. The sound of it made the boy jump, even when his stare had never left me.

"G-gra-graham Row-wle." The little boy shook with every syllable he spoke.

All I could think of was of sweet Graham, who said hello to me even when he could tell the older students ignored me, even when the memories of the night had been thankfully taken from him. I had sat with him for meals more times that I ever did with Lorcan, or with my dorm mates, and far more than with my Gryffindor friends. Would I have been able to hurt him? The thought, if I could feel,was chilling.

"I will not hurt you, Graham Rowle. Not today, not ever. This I promise you." The words I uttered were the absolute truth. Much like the promise I had made to Remus that night when I faced him and his friends, I knew I meant them, and that I would keep them till my dying breath.

We stared at each other, and when I heard the first child cry out in pain I moved.

There was a blur as I went, leaving Graham as I pushed people to the side with a determination of movement and step that wasn't mine. Morgana's blood, burning with the moon's influence propelled me, fished my wand from within my robes and raised it up. My arm curved differently as I held the wand and sent a jet of grey light to the fourth year that had dared begin the last part of the initiation. I had no idea which spell or hex I had used, but chains erupted from my wand, clasping themselves to the boy's wrists and ankles. The ones around him turned to look at me, my sudden action and the duelling expertise that was not mine but Morgana's, got their attention.

"Faraday," I heard someone utter softly afraid, as if with the name they were urging me to control myself. It was one of my dorm mates, I knew, yet which one I couldn't tell. I looked around, probably looking for my next target and I recognized no one. Eyes of every color stared at me standing, wild and unhinged with forces none of them would ever know of or look around brought my attention to the instigator of everything, and Lorcan standing ever still and tense, was staring at me.

"Children should never be hurt." I said to him in particular, confident and strong as I uttered what at that moment I knew was cosmic truth.

His shoulders were impossibly straight, his body looking long as he stood not too far from me, taken from the middle of giving further directions to a group of students. Green eyes flashed with confusion for a second before he took a step toward me, tentatively, as I knew I had caught him by surprise. "What are you doing, my sweet?"

"This is wrong." My voice carried out evenly and as clear as a lute, almost giving the impression that there was no other sound to disrupt me. The words I spoke seemed to carry over the room, and more than once I saw how fellow Slytherins moved to get a better look of me. And the scene I was making.

There was panic in Lorcan's expression, just a tad, as he realized exactly that. I was making a scene; a scene in front of our House, and most devastating, against him. I was going against him, and that would never sit well with Lorcan Mulciber. Unfortunately for me, I didn't know that back then, nor do I think it would have matter. Taking another uncertain step, I saw his gaze look around and when his eyes shone with hardness, he began to make his way to me faster. "Let's talk in the corridor."

Urgency laced in his voice, but not the good kind. He was commanding me, trying to hide his pestilence from emerging against me in front of everyone. After all, it was one thing to be seen as vile, and another to be seen the same toward his girlfriend.

"I will not stand idly while you hurt innocent children." I said with conviction as my vision remained sorely on him.

He came directly at me, Snape and Gertrude's cousin Gregor Goyle, among others, scrambling away from his path. Reaching me didn't take him long; Lorcan grabbed my upper arm, pulling on it as he intended to keep walking away with me. "Come with me outside."

But I didn't let him do with me as he pleased.

"Do not touch me! No man should ever touch me." It was alarming, the shrill disgust and anger with which I reacted. As he pulled, so did the me in the dream, violently detaching my arm away from him, and taking a step back. His eyes and face, when he turned back to me, were frozen. Lorcan stared back at me incredulous that I could ever go against him. And honestly, I would have stared at myself the same way. But Morgana had more to say. "I know the likes of you. You are just like _him_."

I was speaking of things I barely even understood now, yet that didn't matter. That I was referencing people, and by people, I probably meant Merlin, was of no consequence. The quarrels of my ancestors didn't matter, not when Lorcan stared, taking my words as his. And in the dream, I also bestowed them upon him. For months after that night, I had hated myself for the things I had said to him, wished that I could take them back, but now watching I gladly took responsibility over them and stood by them. They were the ultimate truth for me or for anyone and if I could say them again to him, I bloody would."My feelings for you give you no right over me. You are not that powerful."

As proud as I was now about the words I said in a state that was out of my control, they changed Lorcan dramatically. They were the turning point, the last straw, the step over the point of no return and Mulciber looked the part. Looking as impeccably as always and standing as every bit the pure-blooded wizard of a noble family, Lorcan was unmoving. His arms, once raised to hold on to me, were lowered to his sides. The tenseness of his shoulders was gone for the moment, and with his reaction, a perturbing silence fell upon the dungeon. Staring at him, challenging his hold on power, I could see a tempest forming in his eyes. Those green orbs that I once adored, the ones that I still sometimes looked into thinking them to be the most beautiful sight in the world, were now burning with the fires of hell at me.

"This is an honoured tradition of our House." Though a great fire loomed, Mulciber's voice was void of emotion, as he still regarded me.

"Then our House is putrid." My words resounded, unforgiving and critical and of all the things that Morgana forced me to say that night, those were the only ones I would take back. The House of Salazar Slytherin may be corrupted and brimming with malice, but that was the fault of a few. A few idiot witches and wizard that had taken power to their heads and gave our house a bad name. That was all.

A wave of murmurs erupted in answer to my words. Lorcan took a step away, stunned, but I wasn't done, yet.

"All of you are a stain to wizardkind." I looked around to all those that surrounded me. My housemates. My fellow Slytherins, who stared at me confused. They would never understand what was happening to me, much like I will never know the full capacity of Morgana's blood inside of me. Other than the fact that they were willing to partake in such an atrocious act for the sake of fitting in, they weren't at fault, not with what was happening to me. Not with what was going to happen between Lorcan and I. The spur of the moment still burning, I turned back to my boyfriend, our leader and my first love, who even after that night I adored for months. "And you—"

Whatever my next insult had been was lost as in a flash of movement; Lorcan had his wand out and pointed at me.

An astounding gasp broke through the dungeon as feet scampered, but Mulciber did not look at the students around us, like my gaze did. No, he stared at me only, with the green fires of hell in his eyes and virulent disease emanating from his presence. Lorcan attacked before the me in the dream had the instinct to raise up my wand in defense.

The shot sent me down to my knees, a circle of students edging back. Their faces jumbled up and collided against each other within my vision, an extensive array of expressions and emotions that I was incapable of pinpointing. If there was fear in them, or malice or concern or a lack of care for a member from their House, it was impossible for me to know. Mouths moved all around me; there was a torrent of voices speaking, crying out in different ways, but I wasn't able to hear them. When the curse hit me, the shock rendered me useless to all except clutching myself. I watched my body cope with the pain Lorcan had cause me, remembering vividly even with my monthly delirium, the waves of destructive power coursing through me, bruising every part they came in contact with.

When I looked back at my attacker, his wand was still pointed at me, ready to fire yet again. His eyes shone with a mix of emotion I was familiar with, hate and frustration shinning through like the light of the sun he was capable of emanating. I would see more of that expression in the coming months, and though I knew I would survive the night and the rest, I was still filled with dread. If I wasn't dead, and I would eventually wake from the dream, would I ever be able to get over my infatuation over Lorcan Mulciber?

As I watched him, a part of me feared that he would be the only love I would ever know for stupidly at that moment that was what came to my mind. Would I remain stuck on him for however long I had left to live?

Though it was a thought I had muddled over in my head for more than I cared to admit to myself, I forgot about it instantly. Still on the floor watching and waiting for another attack apparently, I saw Regulus Black emerged from behind Lorcan. I wondered why the blood of Morgana didn't react to protect me from the danger she had put me in, to the point that a boy I barely knew had to stand up for surely had nothing to fear from Lorcan. Mulciber may have been in power then, but within Slytherin House a member of the Black family could dethrone him should it be necessary. It was evident in how the fifth year placed his hand on the shoulder of the Prefect, pulling him back and saying something into his ear. But like all, I couldn't even be close to hearing what was said, and whatever it had been was ignored.

But I saw as Mulciber stared at only me, shrugging violently away the hand that wanted to stop him. He said something, and two of the older boys, Niles Burk and Ivan Rosier grabbed Regulus and pulled him out of my eye sight. To his credit, Regulus struggled against his captors as he was taken away. For that and trying to help me, as he always did, I would always be grateful to him.

Again I watched my body twist in what could only be pain as once again I was assaulted. My vision shook and a nod from Lorcan made everything worst. The gesture made Peregrine Yaxley step forward from the circle line, and with her wand also out, she fired at me.

I felt to the side, twisting on the stone floor with pain that I was glad I couldn't feel it. The last thing that I would ever want was to feel those curses on me again, burning through my flesh and bone. And that curse brought back my hearing. It began slowly, but the sounds of the room began to dawn on me, though the Slytherins weren't causing a racket. No, they whispered amongst themselves, every now and then a sob escaping from a child or more.

In that, I heard myself speak in that weird and wonderful voice that was both mine and someone else's entirely. "Thy House has fallen, Merlin; cold and corrupted."

If it was an answer to mywords, or the next planned move against me, I would never want to know, but four wands rose. If there were more, I did not see. Before they collided with their mark, me, the room shone with stunning light. Then everything went completely dark.

* * *

My eyes opened again and I knew where I was.

The room was hazy and I knew I wasn't seeing well, but there was no mistaking it. I was inSt. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. My heart quickened at the prospect of finally waking up from the dream. The reliving of my life was finished and I was still indeed alive. And maybe, just maybe, I could move on with my life. I would go back to Hogwarts, my friends and my schoolwork. I don't think there was anything I wanted more. But as my gaze cleared to perfection, I knew that wasn't the case. I had sat up yet I had no control or feel over my body, my heart had certainly not quickened, and most importantly, all that I saw was in grey and white and black.

I was still in the bloody dream.

Before I could even think straight, both in the dream and inside my mind, the room was invaded with people. Head Healer Pyek, Trainee Alessia, Dumbledore, Mr. McPhail, the office worker in charge of my case and even the Minister for Magic, Harold Minchum came one after the other. Cramped in my hospital room, I was subjected into an interrogation, one in which the Minister demanded an explanation of what happened.

He was not happy with me. "I merely ask that we extract justice from where is due. Now is not the time to protect the guilty, Miss Nolan. Not when you are concerned."

"Justice for what?" I told the man. Minchum was an old; bald under his pointy blue hat with two wispy locks of white hair behind both ears. His face had hard lines, proof of the long life he had lived, and although menacing looking, were easy to transform into laugh lines. Somehow he had managed to get into my good graces, and I think that it had mostly to do that even though he sported the old wizard look, like Dumbledore and Merlin, he hadn't a care in the world about getting into my head. His view on me was more political and as of then his method was to keep me hidden, a fact that I didn't mind.I enjoyed his company and talks on the handful of times he had visited me in the hospital before I started school. Lying to him hadn't felt too great, considering that he was paying for my education. Not he out of his own pocket of course, but his administration made sure I had everything I needed, even if it was of second-hand. The problem, at that particular moment in the hospital, was exactly what he had said; I was protecting the guilty, idiot that I was. "I was studying and everything began to hurt. It has to do with Merlin's blood knowledge."

My excuses had never been too amazing or well thought of; in the future if ever I leave the confines of the dream, I'll talk to James or Remus about giving me pointers. James's excuses barely ever worked, but they were imaginative, and I was a capable liar most times. And Remus could talk his way out of a lot of things, except obviously out Marauder mischief. I couldn't go wrong with asking for their help.

When I eventually did look up, it was to stare at Dumbledore, not the Minister. The room was empty of everyone else and the Headmaster sat on a chair next to my bed. It was eerily similar to many other occasions in St. Mungo's, in which he sat on that very chair next to me always.

"You will not speak the truth?"

I didn't say anything, how could I when everything I had accomplished in my first weeks in Hogwarts was tarnished? There was no changing what had happened, I knew that then as I know it now. Lorcan, my dorm mates, and the other Slytherins, I did not know where I stood with them or what awaited me when I got back to Hogwarts. At that moment sitting in that bed in the sodding Hospital, all I could do was maintain house loyalty. If I spoke against Lorcan, I would have to speak against Slytherin House, and I wasn't about to do that. I couldn't say anything.

"I found a journal." The change of topic had irked me when it first happened, but seeing it again I was not surprised. The scholar side in Dumbledore always won over the side that was supposed to be morally practical and responsible. From within his robes, a stunning array of rich greens and blues, the wizard pulled out a tattered book. He held it with gentle hands as he stared at it with bespectacled eyes. "It dates back to the Middle Ages, written by Herno Brangwyn, a contemporary of Merlin." I was staring at him as again I said nothing. The journal did make me curious, but whether it was the situation I was in or his interest had me looking away. My lack of interest or attention didn't belittle him. He went on with the same spirit he had begun with. "There's a curious entry on the January of 1093. It speaks of the full moon and its affinity to Merlin's apprentice."

"Merlin had an apprentice?" The words left me instantly, the topic too surprising to ignore.

"He did. Morgana was her name." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled in that way of his, probably happy at having gotten my attention, just as he had intended when he revealed the book. If I could feel or see myself, I was sure I was mortified, struggling to keep my composure. "Have you heard of her?"

Though I'm sure I would have liked nothing more than to ignore the Headmaster, I was already invested. Not only had Morgana been a topic that I had been silently curious about since I first heard the name, it was also the perfect excuse to ignore what had just happened to me. I suppose it wasn't the right thing to do, to protect the Duelling Society and all its members, yet I had to do it. So, I shook my head to Dumbledore.

If the Headmaster of Hogwarts truly could see into my mind like I always thought he could, he made no indication of knowing that past me was ignoring the fact that Merlin had called me by that name before. Maybe the mind reading was part of my imagination. "She was a famous dark witch; exceptionally talented and one of the first fulltime prisoners of Azkaban."

I looked down to my hands before I spoke."Why she was sent there?"

"Much like this affinity to the moon," Dumbledore said pointing to the journal and what he claimed was written in it. My eyes lingered on it more than it was polite to do so. Having the Headmaster talk about what Herno Brangwyn wrote was fine, but having the book in my hands would have been ten times better. It took me a moment to remember that after the very conversation I was having with Dumbledore, he would loan me the same book for me to read. "It is not widely known of her attraction to Magizoology. Prominently above her numerous dark creations, is the Lycanthropy curse. She used her own blood for its making. Her involvement with a pandemic of werewolves was the main reason as to why Merlin took the law into his hands and stopped her. "

"And imprisoned her in Azkaban." I finished for him. Though I couldn't remember my thoughts on that back then, the tension of the sudden topic of Morgana being brought up was palpable. Dumbledore looked at me as if he was waiting for me to say something in particular, but what it was I'll never know. "But what does she have to do with me?"

"I find it curious, that you suffer alone an accident outside Slytherin House on the night of a full moon." Even though he had a wistfully wayward expression in his face, Dumbledore's eyes shone down on me with ice blue light. There was no escaping that stare, and in the edge of my vision I saw my hands hold on to the sheets covering my lap. "It could be nothing, of course, but why were you out after hours? Why wasn't Merlin surprised that something happened to you on such a night, when I went to question him? And most importantly, but perhaps unrelated, why does every member of your House now pretend like you don't exist?"

Clearly the excuse I gave the Minister had no effect on the Headmaster. Maybe he could read minds after all and I was only deluding myself to feel better. The me in the dream made a good effort to keep my voice even, though I had more than once notice my body shake with tension. "So you think I have a connection with Morgana because fell I sick on the full moon night?"

Dumbledore's words were sharp, not hurtful, but completely straightforward to the fact that he knew the truth and nothing I did could make him change his mind. "Do not try to mislead me, Faraday. Everybody that has come into this room knows you were attacked, the question is why you insist on protecting your attacker and lie." Surprisingly and to my immense relief he let that subject drop after he spoke. I knew why he did it, and though now it got me disgusted, I was grateful for it. To Dumbledore, the scholar and professor, Merlin and Morgana were a far more fascinating subject to talk to me about than my safety inside his school. He pointed again to the book. "This book claims that Merlin took a child from Azkaban and that he himself admitted to Brangwyn that it was a child from his own blood."

Past me stared, unmoving.

"And the only woman imprisoned was Morgana." Dumbledore seized the momentum of his narration, every syllable lanced with power. "Brangwyn claims Merlin and Morgana were lovers in addition to teacher and student." He went on, pleasantly edging in his seat even when his words were not going to be pleasant to me. "It is my profound belief, that you are the descendant of both of them. And that just as you inherited your blood knowledge from Merlin, Morgana has also bestowed upon you gifts. That being said, I require a favour of you, Faraday. I need you to tell me everything that occurred the night of the fullmoon."

No way was I going to do that. No bloody way I did that or even considered it. And honestly, after all past me had heard from the wizard it would be a surprise should I had said anything. Finding out I was related to this witch, who happened to be renowned as well, was nerve-wracking. Unlike Headmaster Dumbledore, who believe me to descend form her from speculation and research; I knew that connection to be a fact. I did have an affinity to the moon. Merlin had called me mistakenly Morgana. Presently, I could add werewolves to the mix. I _had_ walked with one for a handful of nights, and the creature had done no harm to me. Remus had admitted it himself that he could feel a connection between us.

I didn't say anything. I don't think I was capable of it, even if I had any intention to do so. Yet the Headmaster waited patiently for an answer he wasn't going to get and as I stared at him he swung to the side, disappearing.

The scene changed and I was no longer in my usual room in St. Mungo's. The Great Hall was decorated by hundreds of different sized pumpkins, so I figured October was already underway. My vision turned lopsided for a moment, threatening to faze out, but after a couple seconds it didn't. It remained and I was able to notice that I was sitting near the edge of the Slytherin table, to the side closest to the door. One look up from my barely touched plate of food was enough for me to see that I was sitting among the first years.

Their minds had been obliviated, just as Lorcan had promised, and it was between them that I found a place to sit. Next to the boy from the initiation; next to Graham, who sat with Anne and Marcus talking about their Flying Lessons. What he thought of me sitting there, I couldn't know unless I was alive and asked him, but in the dream he hadn't seemed to bother. I was still a stranger to him then, just the weird sixth year that sat around him because she had no other place to sit. Up the table and from older year students I could see obvious glaring sent my way. I was eyed with repulsion, hate and animosity at various levels, and its effect on past me was evident. A glance to my plate, showed me pushing my food around with a fork as normal eleven year old chatter surrounded me. My vision rocked to the side, and I half expected to find myself somewhere else, but I had looked up. Meeting eyes with Hestia she mouthed something I couldn't hear or understand.

She did it two more times, from the other side of the table, and it wasn't until the third that I could recognized her pitch of voice, disgusted as she spoke at me. "Touch me again and I'll hex you, _Far-a-way_."

I was scrambling away from her as best as I could without losing face, suddenly realizing that I was standing in one of the many arch hallways of Hogwarts. My eyes centred on Hestia's hand, as she pointed her wand at me, but around her I could see we had been waiting to get into the Charms classroom. The scene had changed in a way that alarmed me, taking me completely by surprise. Scanning around her, I could see various students of other houses looking at our exchange with mild curiosity, and to the side stood Severus Snape with the rest of the Slytherin boys of our year. He gave me a spiteful sneer as his eyes went from me to Hestia's wand, and I saw myself turn abruptly away from them all.

Only to run into the middle of the common room.

It was an odd feeling to be under the scrutiny of so many pairs of eyes that I was glad I could not feel it. If my face was warm I didn't know; if my heart hammered with mortification, I gladly couldn't tell, though it must have.

Caught it what I knew was a lazy night after dinner, the common room seemed to have been in a jovial attitude just before I had randomly appeared. Students had sat in relaxed poses around the various fires around the room, and many more were huddled up in groups playing wizard games or doing homework or discussing their favourite topics. I seemed to ruin all of that by existing, or at least it looked that way. All because I stood up to a Prefect and refused to do a horrid house tradition, while I had no control over my body.

And speaking of a certain Prefect, my eyes found him immediately.

Lorcan sat in front of a wizard chest table. His opponent was one of the students that hadn't turned to stare at me, probably too engrossed in his next move to care. Unlike Mulciber. At the sight of me, he leaned back on his seat, eyes set on me only as he wore an expression that asked for challenge. I did not answer. Past me was petrified, there was no possible way for me to do anything, not when Lorcan looked at me like I had betrayed him and like I deserved all the animosity I was getting at that moment. That way, he was making sure that I wouldn't meet his challenge.

To my regret, I hurried to my dorm doing exactly what he wanted. Running away from his challenge of power.

As the door to my dorm room opened, I came face to face with someone. Mafalda was suddenly standing in front of me, and I hadn't even noticed, again that the scene in the dream had changed once more. I was holding a notebook, the one in which I normally compiled all the notes I took during Care for Magical Creatures. I kept one for every class though I normally never took them out of my dorm. "Would you review the nifflers diet with me?"

My N.E.W.T.S classes had been abysmal to get back into, and at least for a couple minutes per hour, I would lose my mind over it. I could remembered, that it was around that time when I began to sleep and eat less to the point that Madam Pomfrey had to observe me during meals to make sure I wasn't skipping. So that I had gone to Mafalda for help wasn't a surprise. I had done that throughout my first weeks in Hogwarts. Mafalda Bole was probably one of the smartest people I knew. And the pressure on me was intense, to the point that I had nosebleeds almost every day; really no surprise at all that went to her.

Sporting her most aristocratic expression of disinterest, Mafalda declined my offer by giving me her back just before she disappeared in a whiff of yellow smoke.

I stared.

Yellow smoke was coming out of my cauldron as I distinctly heard myself blow it away so I could see the liquid I was brewing. My potion, I couldn't tell which for I was sure it wasn't supposed to be yellow in the slightest, hissed and bubbled as I stirred it.

"You're doing the wrong potion." Next to me, Gemma said seemingly unperturbed when I turned to her.

A breath got caught up in my throat, loud enough for me to recognize it as an anguished grunt of frustration. One of my hands went up to my head, maybe to rest on my forehead or comb back loose strands of hair. My eyes went from my caldron to Gemma's and the ingredient she was adding to it, urgently. My free hand rested on my Potions book, which I happened to have near the middle of the table. "Which one are we supposed to make?"

Gemma did not answer, not then, not in real life, I remembered. Not even when blood began to ooze from my nose and I had to excuse myself to run to the restrooms.

My vision blurred, thinned, shifted and then expanded, stranding me in the middle of the staircase that led down to the dungeon levels of the school. I was climbing down next to Professor Slughorn, who was entangled in a very detailed praise of my academic situation. He offered McGonagall's name in a flash of words, and I remembered that night. Because I was recently out of St. Mungo's and for being my Head of House, he had accompanied me to the office of the Transfiguration teacher. We were supposed to discuss my position in school and my general performance in my classes to assess the best possible way to help me take control of the term. I was abysmally behind, and after my visit to the hospital it didn't seem like I was remotely close to getting back to my previous ascending academic position.

I don't remember exactly what I said to her, or to the Potions teacher, but I'm sure I tried to pretend like there wasn't anything wrong with me. After that, Slughorn walked me back to the dorm, as our conversation had edge over curfew.

"I'll find you a tutor if you like, dear girl. Severus or Mafalda would do nicely." Professor Slughorn went on to say, his normal cheerful self resounding under the candle light stone walls even at that hour. My gaze never went to him to see his expression; all I looked at were my feet and how they went down each step one at a time.

I didn't notice if I declined his offer before we got to the portrait, but the fact that I never got any tutoring was enough to figure out that I must have.

I gave Merlin a nod before uttering the password and thankfully he said nothing. That was probably due to the fact that Slughorn was present. Maybe I should ask the professor more often to walk me to the House, that way I could prevent conversation with Merlin whenever I was annoyed by him. Merlin's eyes were hard on me as I stared, saying goodnight to Slughorn and waiting for the painting to reveal the passage to the Slytherin common room.

More than Slughorn's presence I remembered, there was a silent agreement between my ancestor and I, one that I was sure originated from Slytherin House pride, in which we did not speak of the Duelling Society and what it had done to me.

I expected for the dream to shift again and the vision to change, yet it didn't. Going though the portrait hole, I walked into the common room to find it empty, except for one person. In all honesty, for I had forgotten for a second, I wasn't surprised that Lorcan Mulciber was standing there. It wasn't the first time he suddenly appeared, and it pained me to watch the me in the dream come to a halt at the sight of him. It would not be the last time my ill-fated luck would place him in my path. Or me in his rampaging course of destruction.

At that very moment, he was talking to Peeves. Well, chastising him, more like. The poltergeist hanged from a chandelier with his legs, not that it was really necessary, and had been caught in the act. Had it been to anyone else, Peeves would had already insulted the person trying to discipline him or blown a raspberry, but since it was Lorcan Bloody Mulciber, he hanged making faces, fighting his natural unyielding nature to dish out trouble.

"… If you want to cause mischief, Peeves, do it in another House." The Prefect said and when the poltergeist made no attempt to jump or glide off the chandelier, Lorcan assumed a dark tone. Of that I was familiar with hearing now, but in the time of the dream I had barely heard yet, and only once slightly directed at me. It was icy, riddled with disease and prepared to commit atrocious acts. "Should I get the Baron?"

That got the desired effect. Peeves stopped what he was doing and glided up to leave through the ceiling.

Lorcan turned to find me staring. Hair tied back and his Prefect badge still pinned to his school robes were indicators enough that he had just come from his last rounds of the night. The empty common room with its high ceilings and rich tapestries, radiated with Lorcan's presence, even when his eyes shone with sudden surprise and then intense stare might have been the reason why the me in the dream bolted from a petrified state.

I tried to hurry away to my dorm. Though I made it to the door, a hand griped my own as I went to turn the handle. My stare was down, I could see with grey and white detail as his large hand covered my own, his veins bulging as pressure was most likely applied to my hand.

Cornered and pinned to the door, Lorcan made me look at him. The action had been violent; I remembered well how he had gripped my shoulder to push me back. The shoulder would pain me after, since he had pushed it forcibly against the stone wall next to the door.

"I'm waiting for your apology." His words were acid dripping from his mouth and unto my face with nothing in between to help me protect myself. Though his expression was not to its full evil capacity, it was still alarming to see how close he was to it. I would not wish Lorcan's hate on my enemy, so obviously the last person I wanted to suffer it was myself. "I'm sure being the center of ill attention in our House is not pleasurable, and I'm a generous man. Apologise, come back to me and it'll be like nothing happened."

Though it hurt, and at that time all that I wanted was his forgiveness, I didn't do as he asked. It was evident in my mind that I had to keep the pretences of what had happened. Dumbledore and his questioning had been a sort of example to me. If I spoke the truth, it would have to be the whole truth, and to Lorcan there were things I was ordered by the Ministry to not tell. Basically, my connection to Merlin, and now Morgana was out of the question. And if I did tell Lorcan, I relented because of the force of my infatuation with him, it would lead to questioning. And questioning would leave me to have to reveal it all, if I wanted to fix what had been broken during the initiation of the Society. And regrettably, I didn't have all the answers to that. Explaining to Lorcan would require every answer, and even with what Dumbledore told me, no one would understand.

Regardless of my feelings, of wanting Mulciber back as my boyfriend or to have the respect of my fellow Slytherins, I couldn't bring myself to talk. Lorcan and the rest of my House could never know that what I did that night was involuntary, caused by the remnants of my dark witch of an ancestor in my blood. Hell, the way my luck worked they might have even started calling me dirty-blooded."You sent me to the hospital. Something did happen."

The tone of my voice was soft, hurt and accusatory as I looked down to our feet. Lorcan's feet edged closer to me, and I suddenly looked up. He had grabbed my shoulders, his eyes intense hellfires as a second later he shook me. The shock of his violent behaviour was still new to me, and I whimpered. That only made him angrier. "You went against me, against the rules of our House!"

"Hurting children is not right!" A sob escaped me, as my eyes shut to escape the reality of what I was living. Poor me held on to that fact, to that explanation of hurting children to justify my actions, when it fact it didn't matter. In my heart I knew that the only reason I had taken action to protect the first years was because of my delirious state during the full moon. I remembered that past me wanted nothing more than to tell him the truth, pledge myself to him so long as he would forgive me, but I couldn't. I had to keep the secret, as much as I believed I love him.

Lorcan, though I couldn't see him since dream me had close my eyes, didn't appear to be fazed by my point. He spoke to me with cold indifference, as if I was a stranger he had to instruct in the ways of our House. And the truths in his words were enough to make me want to get sick. "We all had to go through it. Slytherin students have done this for years! Who are you to change our traditions?"

"I am no one."

"Am I no one to you?" Suddenly, his voice was as sweet as pudding, and my eyes fluttered opened. Though he still had a hand on one of my shoulders, his face had softened, and the intensity of his eyes had gone back to normal. Like before the initiation. " _You_ did this, but my feelings haven't changed, have yours?"

I said nothing and Merlin's beard, I wondered at how I was able to do it.

"Apologize," Lorcan said sternly, determined to get me to do it. "Explain yourself and everything will go back to the way it was, I guarantee it."

Past me might have considered doing as he said, in the time we had been together, he had always managed to get me to apologize. If it were me now, I would have ignored him simply for the fact that he was demanding my apology. However, the me in the dream knew that asking for forgiveness would also require an explanation, and that I wouldn't do. Not to the Minister himself, not to Dumbledore and not to Lorcan Mulciber. And so my eyes left the nasty expression inches from my face, to stare at the other side of the common room.

It made me wonder, how many times I would end up doing just that in the hopes that Mulciber would lose interest in tormenting me. It never worked.

I don't know what he saw in my face, but it was enough to bring the green fires of hell back into his eyes. Though this time he didn't shake me, he slammed his hand unto the door, hitting the spot next to my head. The sound rippled though the silence of the rest of Slytherin House, but if someone heard, they deliberately chose to ignore it, not that it mattered. The force of his blow and the vibrations of the door made me jump, my eyes returning to his as he yelled. "Say something!"

The only answer I had was a whimper.

"How could you do this to me?" There was an alarming side to his voice that I dared not take into consideration. All I had saw and noticed was in the past, and the titbit would not change my mind about Lorcan, yet I could had sworn I heard defeat in him. The thought was alarming, and unnecessary. After he spoke, Lorcan let go of me, his arms hanging limp on his sides and he turned around. Without a look back, he went into his dorm.

A sob left me and then another, filling the common room as I slipped to the floor. It wouldn't be the last time I would cry because of Lorcan Mulciber, but certainly, I would never again cry for the lost of the relationship we had. Dark days awaited me after that night, and it would be a while before I allowed myself to ignore my feelings in favour of other activities. Mainly studying for class, or researching Merlin, and eventually becoming friends with Lily and the Marauders. A long while seemed to past as my cries echoed in the common room.

It wasn't until I suddenly looked up that I realized that my sobs were not sobs anymore, neither were they mine. At some point, the sound of my crying had died out and immediately after became the laughter of the wind.

The darkened corridors of Hogwarts ended to reveal the gentle cold light of the night and I knew Lady Moon had me under her effects again. My naked feet, hidden under the hem of my white nightgown, left the security of the stone floors of the castle. Black grass danced to the wind's laughter as the moon beckoned. She shinned brightly over the landscape of the Forbidden Forest, as I stood, swaying out on the grounds of Hogwarts, watching.

I floated in the spot for what seemed the longest time, and I couldn't help but marvel at the beauty of the scenery. Even with the limited colours between white and black, the Forest looked as stunning as ever. However, I attributed my contemplation to the fact that it was the very first time I was seeing it. With the pure rays of the moon touching my bare skin, taking hold of me completely for the first time, I'm sure that even in that drunken state, I needed a moment to come into my own. My most intimate self was finally free, and the possibilities as to what to do were endless. However, I didn't need much initiative on what to do. The option was taken from past me, but I didn't mind.

A sound had broken through the wind, distant, yet strong. It was the howl of a strange creature, calling unto the moon, falling prey to her, much as I had.

Without a thought or hesitation, I glided down to the Forest. To the creature that called.

* * *

 **AN:** And we've come full circle.

I hope this compensated for the hype I built of 'September' since the first chapters. This was in my mind from the beginning so maybe it might not seem as severe as it should be, but I found it to be alright.

There will be no more flashback chapters. If there should be anymore, it'll be in a long while, I'm guessing. I have a couple of plot holes that I haven't filled, so if needed I'll fill them in with flashbacks. However, that wont happened any time soon, as far as I'm into the plot. My original plan for this flashback was to put it all in two chapters, and now see what I've done. I have more than 33,000 words written. I'VE GONE F**KING CRAZY!

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this four parter. I took long to get here and post but here we are. Now, on to what happened to our girl after her fight.


	37. Chapter 36: Letters in the hospital

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction created solely to satisfy my imagination. Harry Potter and anything/everything related to the novels belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing in this fanfic that might be recognizable as belonging to the canon of HP.

* * *

 **Chapter 36:** Letters in the Hospital

 _Worry not Birdie,_ Sirius' letter when on to say after a messy array of sentences filled with crude words that had been crossed out. _We'll get our revenge soon enough. I'll kill the sodding bastard myself if Evans doesn't get to him first, of course. She's been looking for him. Her temper's been over the roof since she found out you were taken to the hospital and that tosser hiding in his snake hole doesn't make it any better. Prongs has gotten hexed seven times already. Doesn't know when to shut it. But that's nothing new._

 _Tell me when you'll be released. I have a bet with Moony you see; on how many more times James will get attacked by Evans before you get back. Help me win, Faraday! I'll split it with you._

 _Love,_ _Sirius Black_

 _P.S. I caught Peter crying in the tub the other night. Better if you healed faster so he doesn't lose what's left of his masculinity._

"Git," I muttered with a smile as I folded Sirius' letter.

My room in St. Mungo's was the same as always. The white walls and bedcovers shone brightly with the warm sun coming from a little window to the side. It was a pleasant day on the other side of the window, where a busy muggle street stretched. I had been looking at the passing people all morning before lunch and the mail had arrived.

Muggle fashion didn't hold much interest to me anymore when compared to letters from my friends.

I had gotten two that particular day, and I had jumped in my hospital bed just to read them in complete comfort. My food tray, levitating in front of me with a stubborn charm I would be able to break if only I had my wand, sat by my feet, as I used one foot to push it down. The tray would not stop until I ate everything on it, but my mail was more likely to satisfy me than the obligated food. It rattled under my foot softly, though I wasn't worried about spilling. It had a charm for that too.

An easy smile tugged at my cheeks when I read the names of the senders.

I wasn't surprised that one of the letters was from Lily. When I woke up for the first time since my fight with Mulciber, one had already been waiting for me patiently on the nightstand. Lily, in her amazing audacity, had given the letter to Dumbledore himself to deliver to me, when three days went on and I still hadn't opened my eyes. She had been startled by my sudden disappearance and the subsequent lack of information on me on those first few days. So she took matters into her own hands and imposed herself on the Headmaster.

She was brilliant.

More letters followed hers, and though a score were official Ministry reports on my situation, I also got mail from the Marauders. I was surprised. I had only been in the Hospital for four days and the boys were sweet enough to post me when they could have just asked Lily or something. I held Sirius' letter it in my hand a while longer, staring absent-mindedly at the way the flourish of his handwriting had made my name. It seemed particularly pretty, especially with the messy scrawl of his I was used to reading on his school assignments. Maybe he had no time for impeccable calligraphy in his school work, but clearly, he did in his letters. With a sigh, I placed it on the nightstand, where I had my read mail piled.

There was sound on the other side of my door. I waited for the shadows that I could see under it to come inside. Visitors had been common enough during my few conscious days in St. Mungo's. I didn't particularly enjoy the idea of entertaining a Healer or a Ministry official like McPhail, but I would if there was no other choice. When the door didn't open, I looked back to more interesting things. On my lap sat Lily's recent letter and I unfolded it as fast as I could without damaging it.

 _Dear Faraday,_

 _How are you? I hope that you're better than when you wrote your last letter. I'm sure your new hate for bandages is well placed, but the Healers wrapped you in them for a reason. Don't be stubborn and let them do their job. But of course, you are welcomed to vent with me._

 _I am in serious need of venting. Mary and Dorcas are all but had it with me. I know we rarely ever talked about Mulciber, and I have noticed that he is a sore subject for you, but I am angry. I can't help it. I want to kill that git. I want to hex him into oblivion until he's begging for forgiveness on his knees. It has to be on his knees. Mary said I should try to control myself, but it's too much._ _You are in the hospital!_ _You've been in the hospital for days and what has he gotten? The news of your duel was spread all over the school, but I haven't seen Mulciber. It's like he disappeared. And your housemates are eerily silent. Last night during dinner,_ _no one_ _was talking in the Slytherin table. There's obviously something going on there. Do you know? Would you be willing to tell me?_

 _I wish I could go visit you, I really do, but Professor McGonagall said it was impossible. I'm sure you're tired of reading the same thing over and over again. I'm sorry. I can't keep it bottled up. Not even hexing Potter's pompous arse makes me feel better these days._

 _Your notes are coming along swimmingly. I even borrowed Dorcas' from Care for Magical Creatures. It's not a bother so stop telling me to stop. Writing your copy by hand instead of using magic has been a good revising method. If you still want to be stubborn about it, just think of it as the price of not studying with me the time you've been away._

 _Write to me as soon as you can with the date you'll be released. Black has been saying that he was going to ask you. If he finds out before I do, I'll get madder. Might even hex him next._

 _Maybe I'll wait until you get back for that. I think it might be a good welcome for you._

 _Lily._

I folded the parchment and released my untouched tray of food. It glided up from under my foot, levitating towards me as I put Lily's letter on top of Sirius' on the nightstand. All I wanted to do was answer the mail I had gotten, but if I left my meal uneaten much longer, a Healer would most likely appear.

Grabbing a spoonful of the almost bland pudding, I leaned back on the bed. I don't know which I preferred best, helping Sirius win us money or making Lily feel better. Sure, I didn't want her to hex Sirius, but it could have been the only way for me to keep her and to an extent the Marauders from troubling themselves with my matters.

Anything to keep them away from Mulciber for as long as possible.

It was irksome to say the least, that there had been no sight of him. If Sirius claimed he was hiding in Slytherin House then that meant that he, and by he I mean the lot of the Marauders, had gone looking for him. They already possessed a grudge against him after the fight they had along with Snape, and I couldn't see that calming down if anyone of them found out anything of what happened in detail. That Lily was not hiding that she was invested in the seeking of revenge made things worst. No doubt James had enjoyed seeing her fuming at someone else than him, no wonder he was getting hexed so many times.

I mulled over what to reply to the letters I was sent. In no way would I mention Lorcan Mulciber. Though Lily had asked in every single letter, I had no intention of telling her the truth. Not to her, not to the boys. How could I even begin to get over the embarrassment of having to speak of how my first love and boyfriend became my worst enemy? With what face could I tell anyone that angry banter resulted in desperate snogging? Or how that had escalated to one of the most horrendous acts of violence that I had ever taken part in?

Definitely, I would keep quiet for as long as possible, at least until Lily cornered me at wand-point.

As to when I was going to be let out of the Hospital, well I had no clue. I wished I could be let out on the afternoon, but that was completely impossible. My surprise visit to St. Mungo's was barely over a week old, and probably Head Healer Pyek, ever in charge of my health and all that, would want me to stay a bit longer. All my external wounds were already healed; the last of the annoying bandages that I'd been covered in were taken off that very morning. Surely that meant I could go back to school soon. There was nothing more I wanted. There was a week's worth of work that I wanted to sink my teeth into.

Figuring that my best option was striking a deal with Dumbledore and Pyek -something along the lines of visiting Madam Pomfrey every day for a score of days- I finished my pudding with two large spoonfuls.

The rest of the meal floated against me, patiently waiting to be eaten when a groan got caught up in my throat as I resisted the urge to let it free with great difficulty. The door of my room had been pushed open, announcing the arrival of company I had no desire to entertain. But even if my aversion to a visitor had shown in my face, Trainee Healer Alessia Green let herself inside like she owned the bloody place.

Her eyes went to the tray floating in front of me, her eyes narrowing for a second before she relaxed it to her previous expression. It was a face of blissful positivity, the kind I would give to Lily or Peter because they were my friends. Unlike Alessia and I. Though, I don't know, maybe she thought we were friends with all the time we had been forced to spend together during my hospital stays. Or she had been forced by Head Healer Pyek to get into my friendship group. Probably that. Regardless, I didn't consider her anything but a Healer and it would always remain that way. Not even when she settled on the end of my bed with a deck of Exploding Snaps and an assortment of sweets she probably got from the lunchroom.

Putting Lily and Sirius' letters and what I was to reply to them from my mind, I settled with Alessia. We played the game for some mindless minutes, the air filling with sound and smoke. I could have stayed silent like that for hours if needed, but the Healer had other ideas.

"What did the Minister say to you?"

"Why should I tell you?" I said pushing a card down and watching it pop in smoke on top one the Healer had played. The Minister for Magic had visited me early in the morning with Mr. McPhail, the Ministry official in charge of my case, to clear up some minor details of the duel at school. I had already given them a detailed narration of the events, for the first time not keeping as many secrets. Obviously, I made no mention of my previous romantic relationship with Mulciber, or that the reason he –a Prefect- had caught me out way after curfew was because I had been running all night with a pack of animagi and a werewolf. However, none of that mattered was that Alessia, for some reason I couldn't even begin to understand, thought that I would talk to her about something that didn't concern her. I found it rude and forward and looking up at her, a glare set, I could tell that she hadn't thought anything from asking.

"I just thought you might want to talk to someone." Her eyes were down to her hand of cards as she planned her next move. From her face, pretty and pleasant looking like all the rest of the Healers was more so the same as always. Pretty and pleasant under that strange white Healer hat she wore."You've been stuck in here for a week. I'm sure it must be hard after getting used to life in a dorm."

I didn't say that she was wrong. That would be talking to her truthfully and at that moment I didn't feel like it. If I did, Alessia would be extremely surprised at how wrong she was. Life in my Slytherin dorm was solitary and I was more used to it that I cared to admit. Of course, I would take my dorm before St. Mungo's any time of the day. There was nothing more that I wanted than going back to Hogwarts as soon as possible. Maybe, I had a chance with Alessia, to get her on my side. "I'll tell you everything Minchum said if you get Pyek to let me out tomorrow."

"There's no hurry. Your body needs abundant time to heal." She gathered the cards with a natural caring expression, eyes on words deflated every ounce of patience I had left toward her, and I had no more desire in playing anymore. I'm sure my frustration was evident, for Alessia kept looking at me, speaking again with a concerned furrow of her forehead. "Do you even know how beaten up you were?"

I shrugged.

Alessia took that as a challenge for some reason. Jumping off the bed, her green robes blazing slightly as she walked to the door to open it. With one leg out of my room and giving me her back, she grabbed something that had been hanging next to the door.

Coming back with a satisfied smile after kicking the door shut, Alessia set what I could clearly see as my medical clipboard on her lap when she took her unwelcomed spot at my bed. She skimmed through the papers with the expertise of a soon-to-be professional Healer and brought her eyes to me. I stared back, trying to be unimpressed by her, which I was, as I waited for her to deem the moment worthy to tell me things Head Healer Pyek had already told me.

She went on to read an impressive list of wounds, which somehow, the Healers of St. Mungo's were capable of healing in less than three days. My duel with Lorcan had earned me a dislocated arm, shattered right shoulder, and a snapped leg. I had three broken ribs that did no one the favour of puncturing my spleen and one lung, and a couple of dislocated disks that would have rendered me immobile if Pyek wasn't an expert at fixing them. There was also a fracture on my skull that resulted in a concussion that still required potions to calm the bugging pain. I had a large burn on my belly, from where I was hit with a lightning spell, and I had all sorts of both deep and shallow cuts over my body. Thanks to those I arrived at St. Mungo's with a desperate need for a blood replenishing potion.

I would have been impressed with my own resilience if the whole getting those wounds hadn't been so damn painful.

At least I couldn't remember the pain from when I landed in Diagon Alley, and by the time I woke up after that, my wounds had already healed. Not this time. When I woke up, I had been covered in bandages still. The stone steps of the stairs that led to Slytherin House did a horrid number on me, and I was lucky that I wouldn't keep any scars. I had not seen myself without bandages, but the soreness in my body, even still with all my wounds healed, was proof enough that I had been in a critical situation. Thankfully, the Healers had done their job well, and I was left to count the hours before I got to get as far away from them as possible. I grabbed a hand of cards that Alessia had put down for me. "What else does that say?"

"Basically, it has everything about you. It even mentions in detail your connection to your famous ancestors." At her words and face, both devoid of malicious intent or anything other than concern and care, my body stilled, freezing over. Sure, as my medical record, I'm sure the file had to contain all my information. My connection to my famous ancestors was a health matter that affected me constantly; it made sense to be there. But all I could think was of how Alessia had grabbed it from the outside of my room without a bother, and that bothered me. Most of my secrets were hanging off a wall on the fourth floor of St. Mungo's without a care in the world. I was probably overreacting, and that made me try to not glare anymore at the Healer in front of me. It wasn't her fault.

Annoyed, I put two cards down. They popped.

"I was supposed to start this time!" She said, more like whined really, as she put my clipboard aside to grab her hand of cards. "Don't cheat."

I did my best pureblood sneer before I succumbed to rolling my eyes. "Play already!"

We settled again unto mindless game.

"I see you got mail this time." Poor Alessia couldn't keep silent it seemed. Her eyes had dangled on my nightstand, and I knew it would only be a matter of seconds before she asked me about them. For this one time, I didn't mind as much as I would normally mind her snooping. Alessia had at least not asked me on her previous rounds or visits, not even to start a small conversation. "Your friends must miss you."

That I didn't mind did not mean I liked to be questioned. I took a deep breath, trying not to shake with exasperation, less she notice. "What's your point, Green?"

"Is it a friend _or_ a boyfriend?" Alessia asked, her eyes shining with mischief. Her hat shifted forward with her, as she edged toward to me. I leaned back to my pillow, though she was nowhere near into invading my personal space. An answer to her sudden question popped into my head, but before I could even begin to open my mouth, the Trainee Healer jumped to her own conclusions. "It is a boy! I knew it. Tell me all about him."

Of course, she wanted me to talk about things that didn't exist and that most importantly didn't concern her in the slightest. I stared at her dumbfounded, trying to understand what about me brought her to think my letters were from a boyfriend. Sure, one that I got that very day had been from a boy, but that was just Sirius. Even if I was interested in him that way, I don't think he would go for a frumpy Slytherin. The rest of the Gryffindor boys had sent me letters too, so maybe Alessia had snooped around my mail and saw their names. James was a lost cause, he would never look my way while Lily existed, and I couldn't blame him. It would be weird if I fancied Remus enough to be in a relationship with him; to me -and sometimes I thought he got the inclination too- our connection through Morgana seemed too familiar. And Peter, well Peter had tried, but I rejected him. I knew no one else I could fancy, no one else approached me, and no one else mattered.

Because even if I did fancy anyone -went out of my way to try and pursuit him-, Lorcan Mulciber would loom over them and my heart in his vile way. Emptiness began to stretch from the core of my body to everywhere else, heavy and unforgiving as I sat there.

That I had a long way before I forgot Lorcan or that I might not be able to move away from him was heartbreaking.

"Come on!" Alessia's goodhearted playfulness brought me back from the darkest places of my mind, and for a slight moment, I actually wished I had something to tell her. Something nice and uplifting that shined with the promise of a pleasant future. But I had nothing of the sort, not in a romantic way, at least. Nothing that would satisfy Alessia Green. "I've told you all about my darling Julius. _Now_ it's your turn."

"He's tall," I said resorting to starting a lie just to get her off my back. She had told me lots about her fiancé, and I had enjoyed every word she uttered. "Well-built and darkly handsome with long lustrous black hair."

"Really?" She ate the description up like it was Honeydukes' best chocolate fudge. Her expression, light, and believing was enough to make me chortle a bit. It came out of nowhere, I was surprised to feel it vibrating through me, but I somehow felt refreshed. And with that, my little white lie came crashing down.

"I don't have a boyfriend, Alessia," I told her with a smile, even though I made the mistake of thinking that having a boyfriend was what got me there in the first place. Two of my three visits to St. Mungo's after starting school had been because of Mulciber.

Alessia smiled back at me. "Tease."

* * *

It was past midnight and I hadn't been able to fall asleep. The least I had done in the hospital since I woke up from the coma was sleep. And that was completely understandable considering I had slept for three days straight after my duel in Hogwarts. Regardless, I barely slept, to begin with, burning most of my nighttimes away with school work, so I wasn't surprised that sleep eluded me in St. Mungo's. That wasn't the problem. The problem was that Pyek forbid anything related to my classes, to help me rest, but it only made me the opposite. My hand wanted nothing more but to feel crisp parchments, and to fill rolls of them with essays and assignments from top to bottom. I itched to get my hands on those notes Lily was making for me.

I had tons of energy and hours I wanted to burn with school work, as I normally did. Yet the ban that had been placed upon them left me with the longest days filled with a sluggish depression I kept telling the Healers would hinder my recovery.

So I tossed and turned.

I had just settled on a comfortable position when I heard a click. My eyes, not drowsy in the least, fluttered opened immediately. I could see shadows under the door, and I wondered if someone really intended to enter my room. It was the middle of the bloody night! And I wasn't scheduled at that hour for a Healer to check me over. Pyek had done so before she left St. Mungo's for the night.

Pushing myself up with an elbow, I watched the door open. I thought there was light outside in the hallway that led to my private room. I had seen shadows. But the light that entered was not blinding. It came from the tip of a wand, tricking my eyes from being able to focus on the visitor. A large figure loomed in the frame, imposing and not human in shape. My heart began to hammer slightly at the arrival. Healers did not make their night rounds like that so I had reason to start to worry. As I stared at the giant shape getting closer, the thought that maybe I would end up having to scream at some point would be unavoidable.A dash of relief flooded me as the shape separated into two humanoid looking figures, but that relief wouldn't last more than a second.

" _Est-ce elle_? _Nolan_?" Said the distinct voice of a woman.

A wave of nausea did flips in my insides, draining me of vital substances and energies. I had heard that voice before. Although I couldn't for the life of me place it on a face, I was more than certain that I knew who the woman was, and that she was someone I needed to get away from. Remembering that Nolan was my surname, my heart started to thrash inside of me. A little part of me had begun to hope that maybe the pair had the wrong room. No such luck.

Another wand rose with its tip lighted and the face of a man was lighted up. A shriek got stuck in my throat when I recognized him.

My hospital room suddenly got abysmally small, and shadows danced at the edges of my vision as I clutched at my bedcovers. I pushed back on the bed, jumping back into the headrest, trying to get as far away from Lorcan Mulciber.

I was an idiot to even begin to think that maybe I could have a normal life without him in the equation. He was a curse, pestilence incarnate and he carried the vilest of diseases. An incurable one. There was no safety or shelter, only fear of being caught and a hammering heart trying to break out of me. He glared at me as if I was the one that had committed wrong in walking away from him. Lorcan looked down from my face -letting me breathe- to look at a clipboard he held. That one act somewhat deflated everything that was coursing through me.

"Says here, Faraday Ambrosius." The man spoke and my heart managed to stop pounding inside of me long enough for me to have a cohesive thought ring through my mind. It wasn't Lorcan. Thank grandfather Merlin's socks, it wasn't Lorcan! I could breathe better now, as my eyes adjusted to the wand produced light. But only a little after I realized who the man and woman intruding on my hospital room in the middle of the night were, I began to sweat. Shit. Sod it all to hell. I didn't know what was worst, a visit from Lorcan or from his parents. "But she must be."

"You!" The woman said a familiar flavour of venom slipping from her mouth. "It was you who hurt my son."

The allegation hit me, but not as intently as the repulsion on Mrs. Mulciber's voice. "I did—"

"Lorcan is a sweet boy! He would never do such an act. _Zut alors!_ " I'm not sure she had come to speak to me; a little voice in the back of my mind said that all she wanted was to scream at me. She had parchment crumbled up in one hand, and I watched it suffer in her fist as she waved it in my direction. That her wand was pointed at my face didn't make me feel any better, either. "To think, to believe that he got expelled from that ridicu-lous school because of you. His wand was almost snapped!"

I couldn't keep silent. The news hit me like stone, and I found myself fighting the remnant of a gasp in my throat."Expelled?"

" _Vous avez un sacré toupet!_ I know girls like you. _Mon pauvre bébé_ , will suffer your kind all his life. It is not his fault to have been born beautiful and smart and in a powerful family. It makes him irrésistible to paupers and whores like you."Her words broke with the thickness of her accent, but they still cut deeply. Especially when her eyes came into my focus and the light of her wand let me see the color of them. Lorcan had inherited all his looks from his father to the point that I had mistaken him, but his eyes, those green fires of hell were his mother's.

"Lorcan was expelled for Hogwarts?" Even after all that she had said to me, all that her son had done to me, I couldn't believe it.

"You will do as I tell you, girl." Mr. Mulciber said, taking charge of the situation. I had no clue as to how they had gotten in my room without anyone noticing yet, but I had the inclination that Lorcan's father was the mastermind behind it. Or the one paying. "Tomorrow you shall write to the Headmaster and explain that you made a mistake. You will tell Dumbledore that my son had no part in your fall. He is innocent and I will not allow for our name to be tarnished by some mudblood tart."

"I am not a mudblood." The insults coming from him didn't bother me as much as his wife's. I was used to Lorcan's face vomiting pestilences. What I did not enjoy, what made my hands ball on my lap and my glare become set was his set of orders. I would be damned before I did what he wanted. "And _he_ attacked me!"

Mr. Mulciber's faced pinched in anger, his forehead forming wrinkles that once more reminded me that he was not his son. His wife stared at me surprised that I had the audacity of speaking that way to an adult, but it only made me straighten my back. I was ready to receive their hate. " _Merlin, quelle horreur_! She's an ill-mannered child. A mudblood assuredly, even blood traitors and half-bloods teach respect to their brood. _Ne la laisse pas te parler comme ça!"_

"Arianne," Mr. Mulciber said with an edge and the woman who had demanded of him huffed next to him. She didn't say another word. He turned back to me, shadows marking his face. "Nolan, I will give you one change, only one. You seem like a reasonable girl; you are a Slytherin, Merlin only knows why. Speak up and do as I say. Lorcan didn't do anything."

I had listened quietly to his words, unable to believe what was going on. It was the mention of my House and ancestor that brought my resilience to the roof. Oh yeah, Merlin fucking knew why I was in Slytherin.

"He did this to me! I'm here because of him." I clutched my sheets again but it wasn't because of fear. No, I had had it with those two. I was angry; I was bloody livid and I had enough with a stranger trying to tell me what to do. "Your precious Lorcan is a monster. Believe me, I know better than anyone. And what he got, getting expelled from Hogwarts is a poor punishment for what he did."

"Do not test me, girl." He said pointing his wand at my nose. "I will destroy every inch of you."

I believed in his threat; that man could bring me to ash in a heartbeat, physically, mentally and socially. Yet I didn't care. A part of me wanted to smile, to smirk in a way that only reminded me of Sirius Black, but I didn't. My face was too set in the challenge to move. "If your son is anything like you, then I am not afraid anymore. I'll meet your fire with fire if I have to."

We stared at each other for what seemed like hours, neither of us wanting to lose. I liked the thought that I was making Lily proud somehow, meeting the challenge head-on and not backing down. Seconds after I had that thought, I got the feeling that I won, for Mr. Mulciber nudged his wife to turn in direction to the door. She looked at him incredulously, her lips pursing to speak, but she thought better of it and remained silent.

"Watch your back, Faraday Nolan," He said as he turned to walk behind Mrs. Mulciber through the door.

My heart swelled as I watched them go. Before the light of their wands was put out, I was still able to see that Mr. Mulciber carried my medical clipboard. Outside the door, I heard it clatter on the floor.

* * *

I couldn't read Peter's letter properly.

 _Faraday,_

 _Yesterday, James and Sirius used the last of our dungbombs. The plan was to hide them in Slytherin cauldrons at Potions, but it backfired. I don't think they intended for them to explode in our room, though. It did cheer me up. But it made Remus angry. He gets mental when he's angry._

A smile tugged at my cheeks, but it disappeared as soon as my mind was allowed to roam pass Peter's words.

It was inevitable for me, for my thoughts to circle back to Lorcan Mulciber. I wanted to say that I was glad. I _was_ glad. Getting expelled, like I had told Mr. and Mrs. Mulciber was a poor punishment, but it was something drastic that was sure to hurt him and his family. I wanted Lorcan hurt for the things he did to me, regardless of how it had seemed to anyone else. There was no question in my mind that Lily, Sirius and James would agree with me and maybe even protest that they didn't get the chance to hex the seventh year Prefect. Well, Lorcan wasn't a Prefect anymore if his parents had spoken the truth. A sort of giddiness overcame me whenever that crossed my mind.

I put away Peter's letter on my nightstand. I would go back to Hogwarts and there would be no Mulciber. Counting out of the equation the retaliating from my housemates, Slytherin House could very well become a less stressful place to live. I could go about my school days without having to worry about an abusive ex living in my house and tormenting me every few days. Maybe, just maybe I could live in peace, if only from him.

But then I would forget myself, and sport qualities that Slytherins would find appalling considering all that happened. There was regret, shame, concern and a scorching sense of responsibility. Because of me, Lorcan Mulciber had lost his education.

March had barely started! There were still way more than two months of classes left. And Lorcan, expelled from school would never graduate from there. He would never get the payoff of the seven years he studied in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. All I could think of was of my months in the castle and the mountains of reading, studying and writing I had done for my classes to be in the position I was now. For all my hard work to come crashing down, even if I myself was responsible, was atrocious. I could wish a thousand horrible things to befall Mulciber, my one true enemy. I wanted Mulciber to pay, but not at the cost of his academic education. Sure he was rich and his family name could probably get him whatever job he desired without finishing school, but it was still somewhat horrible.

I felt bad. No matter what happened between us, all the evil he had done, and how inadequate of a punishment being expelled was for him, my gut bothered me for hours.

It still was throbbing after lunch, when Professor Dumbledore arrived. He announced his presence with a single knock, one that I knew to be his signature, and let himself in to sit by my side. Our positions were ones we had assumed many times before, he on the chair and me on the bed, and the familiarity of it all was a bit comforting.

Dumbledore came with wonderful news. Before knocking on my door, he had been conversing with Head Healer Pyek, arranging my release from St. Mungo's. They agreed on the following afternoon, so for me to not only return at night to school but also at the beginning of the Easter Holidays. I would have daily meetings with Madam Pomfrey for two hours, and the rest of the day I would be allowed to work on catching up on my missed classes and assignments. All I wanted was to be delighted, to ignore the old wizard and start preparing my letter to Lily with the news. However, I couldn't. Not when the memory of the previous night didn't even let me smile at the prospect of getting out of the hospital finally.

"Was Lorcan really expelled?" My words were calculated, though out of the blue. I had to ask.

The eyes behind the half-moon glasses narrowed, though he didn't immediately ask me how I had come by that information. "He was."

"Is there something I can do?" It pained me to push the words out, it was hard, but if I didn't my body wouldn't stop aching. As much as I decided to will myself about forgetting my feelings for Lorcan Mulciber, I couldn't help it. As much suffering as I wanted to give him, there was one line for me, and only one. Surely Dumbledore as a teacher wouldn't blame me for trying to defend the education of another, as stupid as it might seem. I pushed the words out, my teeth grinding, but I knew it was necessary for my well being. "I know he didn't mean for me to fall down the stairs. Maybe I can talk to someone."

"Your wounds claim otherwise. Do not try to fool me Faraday; I saw the wreckage the two of you left. I saw how the duel left you both." His voice seemed hard to me, harder than he had ever been to me, but considering the situation it was justified. As much as an experienced wizard as he was, I'm sure seeing me half dead at the bottom of some stairs wasn't pleasant in the least. "There's nothing you can do for young Mr. Mulciber. This was pushed by the Minister himself."

I grabbed my sheets, bringing them close as I looked down. The information made me feel worst. "All because of whom I'm descendant of?"

"He attacked you," Dumbledore stressed calmly. "More than once already, in school. It was his fault that you fell. He left you there. If Merlin and the other paintings hadn't yelled excessively for help, we wouldn't be talking right now."

The image of the painting of Merlin flashed in my mind as fresh as ever. Had he seen me coming down the stairs? Did he think I was dead and he cursed to see the end of a family line he hadn't even known still lived? "Is grandfather worried?"

"As much as a painting can be."

I accepted the Headmaster's words, though I decided to keep it at that.

"I would keep the matter of Mr. Mulciber from your mind." Dumbledore went on to say. "Professor Slughorn has it in good authority that he has been accepted to transfer to Beauxbatons. He'll graduate from there."

And just that was reason enough to keep Lorcan from my mind. I would do as the Headmaster said, if only for that matter. It was easier than before with that information.

Dumbledore stayed a bit longer to explain in full detail the arrangements Head Healer Pyek had demanded and the compromises made with help from Madam Pomfrey. We also talked a bit about my classes and the topics I had missed. In a way, it was mindless talk, and repetitive. I knew by heart St. Mungo's protocol with the Hogwarts matron. I could already picture the hours I would spend with her in the Hospital Wing and all the questions and vitals she would record to send to Pyek. Of school work, I knew all that I had missed, even when I hadn't learned it yet with blood knowledge. My obsession with catching up to the curriculum had let me to memorize them by heart. But since Dumbledore was in no hurry to get back to school and I had nothing better to do, we humoured each other with the other's company.

That mindless chatter was interrupted with two visitors. One of them a surprise, really. The door opened and Head Healer Pyek entered. Her face sported a pleasant smile as the old woman went to hover around the desk that was still kept in my room. She didn't speak as she let herself in. There was little point, really, as she had spoken to me at length in the morning. Behind her came the surprise visitor. The Minister for Magic, Harold Minchum.

His face was grave, his pointy hat askew on his balding head and I knew that shit hit the fan somehow. It always fucking did.

"Everything alright Harold?" Dumbledore, I knew picked up on my train of thought. I was certain, even more, when I knew that the two wizards were old friends. They knew each other. My eyes darted to the Headmaster of Hogwarts. His solemn expression was indication enough that something was indeed wrong.

"Albus, Faraday," Minchum said and the tone of his voice was enough to get me to glue my eyes to him. He shook his head, fishing into his robes. From them emerged a roll, and when he straightened it, I recognized it as the Daily Prophet. "We have a problem."

I watched intently as the Minister presented to us the fresh looking parchment, his wrinkled and spotted hands holding it like it was delicate. It made me think it might be cursed or that it would explode if held wrong. I edged forward to see the paper more clearly, though there was really no need. What I needed to read was written in large bold letters. It read:

 **Revealed! A descendant of Merlin and Morgana in Hogwarts.**

* * *

 **AN:** Ah yeah.

So when I began writing this chapter I realized I forgot how to write Faraday, not in the dream. Took me a while but I think I managed it. Next chapter will feature the Prophet's article. Let's see how I manage that lol.

There's still no electricity or phone signal in my house. I'm getting frustrated. I can't even look for new fics to read.

To all that previously commented, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You guys rock!


	38. Chapter 37: Revealed!

AN: Happy New Years! I hope you had great Holidays and that you are in good health. This is a Three Kings present from me to you ;)

I have wonderful news, and by 'wonderful' I mean horrible. My computer took a fall from my desk so now I have to write and post from my tablet. I don't like this. I don't have normal control over my writing in this thing but whatever. Expect spelling, grammar errors and such, around more than usual. I'll try to work with this.

* * *

 **Chapter 37:** Revealed!

I was incapable of tearing away my eyes from the freshly printed parchment that hanged from the Minister's hands precariously. They shook slightly with the strain, making me realize it was because of fear and not the insignificant weight of the paper. What the hell was written there about me that had Minchum like that?

"This is tomorrow's paper," The Minister said in a fatal voice and completely serious, but I had no eyes to see his face and whatever he was expressing there. My eyes were glued to the parchment, trying to make out swirling words that I was too far to read. I heard the scrapping of wood on the floor and I knew Dumbledore must have stood up. Though, I payed him no mind. My heart hummed slightly with worried confusion; the palpitations bruising every corner of my chest as Minchum spoke again, furthering driving me into a state that I couldn't quite understand, but tried to keep from affecting me emotionally. "And we can't stop it from circulating."

"Give it to me, sir." I edged forward as I extended my arm, at some point rising to my knees so to be able to reach closer to the old wizard. My legs were tangled under my bed covers, but that didn't really matter.

I could see hesitation in the Minister's eyes as he directed his stare to the side of me where Dumbledore stood, and it made me have to push down a wave of worry even when the thought of remaining calm danced across my head. Was the article written about me bad? Was it good? Would it really cause problems? Was the Minister hesitating just because he didn't want me to read it? There was little point to that now that he showed it to me. If he wanted me to remain ignorant he should had kept it from me. Not that my ignorance would last long. If it was the Daily Prophet, I will find out sooner or later.

A flip of sudden nausea had my lower lip quivering in less than a second as I waited for the Minister.

 _Lily_ read the Daily Prophet every bloody day! If as Minchum said, the article couldn't be stop, and it really did as it claim to reveal the decendant of Merlin and Morgana, then Lily would read it before I had the chance to explain the things I had kept from her, from the guys too, hell from everyone I had come into contact outside St. Mungo's. That is to say if the article contained the truth its title implied. As far as I knew, waiting for Minchum to give me the sodding newspaper, it either told my life's story or absolute lies.

Here's hoping for lies.

The Minister's expression was of grim acceptance, when he turned back to look at me from Dumbledore. Without a word, he handed me the newspaper. And without an ounce of trepidation, but a heavy stomach, I snatched it away, sitting on my feet.

Once more, my eyes were glued to the parchment as I read.

 _ **Revealed! A descendant of Merlin and Morgana in Hogwarts.**_

 _ **By Fenetre Clearwater**_

 _It has been a tight-kept secret for months, but Wizarding community of Great Britain, a descendant of esteemed and legendary wizard Merlin and renowned dark witch Morgana has been identified as a sixteen year old girl that since last September, has been studying magic in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. You've read correctly readers, there has been a descendant of our most powerful and famous wizard in history walking around our country, and the Ministry of Magic has kept the information to themselves. But we of the Daily Prophet pride ourselves on our truthful delivery and in the loom of theses dark times every person deserves to know the absolute truth._

 _Faraday Ambrosius or Faraday Nolan –as she is known and referred to by Ministry officials– is an adequate young female student who has been shrouded in mystery since the moment she was discovered. Resources tell us that the tale of Faraday begins on June of last year in Diagon Alley, when on Monday the 7th she fell out of the sky and landed in the middle of the street, between Scribbulus Writing Instruments and Flourish Bolts. The cobblestone street cracked with the force of her impact, local witnesses claim._

 _Cursed with an incurable amnesia, she has been taught magic by no one other that First Order of Merlin and Headmaster of Hogwarts Albus Dumbledore, who –under the Ministry's vigilant eye– took her as his pupil before having her sent to school. Sorted into Slytherin –a fact that should excite readers as her ancestor, Merlin, as well was in the House of Salazar Slytherin– Faraday has thrived as a student, working hard to catch up to the six year curriculum. It's a feat that one personally would only expect from a descendant of powerful wizard and witch such as herself."_

 _However, her time at Hogwarts has not been all fun and games. Since her enrolment last September, Faraday Nolan has made three visits to St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, all under the guise of secrecy. It is unclear of what happened on the first two instances –our resources are limited– but for the last one and the most recent as Miss Nolan is as of this date in the Hospital, the causes are twisted. Our resources claim that her emergency admittance to St. Mungo's was the product of an in-school attack choreographed by one other student. We don't have yet the full details; however it springs the speculation of whom in their right mind would dare attack a descendant of Merlin and what the repercussions would be._

 _We have been informed that Miss Faraday Nolan, descendant of Merlin and Morgana is in a stable condition, waiting on being released back to school. We hope for her well being and are eager to hear from her, for one question resounds over our world, and though we are sure it was the decision of Minister for Magic Minchum, the wizarding world wants to know; why the secrecy?_

I scanned the parchment up and down twice before reading it over for a second and then a third time, questioning its very existence. Why was there a need for an article so detailed about my short life to be published? Sure, I understood well enough that Merlin was famous, even Morgana was commonly known as she had a Chocolate Frog card, but what did that mattered when it came to me? I hadn't done anything aside from somehow be born a descendant of those two. Why would someone and then a well known newspaper decide to talk about me? To mention me by name and retell my life in rushed detail, all nine to ten months of it? What right did the Daily Prophet have to release information that I had been denied from telling? And what was the point of me following the Ministry's orders of secrecy when they could go up in flames so easily?

"Fuck," I muttered putting the newspaper down.

"Miss Nolan!" Head Healer Pyek shrieked from her spot by my desk, reminding me that she had been standing there all that time. My gaze went to her for a second, but before I could think of answering something not pleasant at her, my attention was grabbed by Dumbledore. He had moved closer to me.

The Headmaster didn't say a word; he just extended his hand to me. His bony fingers offered to take the parchment from me, and without a second thought I handed it to him. He needed to read it too. I kept my stare on my teacher, deeply interested in watching his reaction. Surely he would be even more displeased than me. Behind his half-moon glasses, his eyes barely glanced at the parchment before he looked back up to the Minister. His expression was the harshest one that I had ever seen on his face and was capable of shaking anyone. "How did this happen, Harold?"

"I have my best team of the Magical Law Enforcement Patrol and a score of Aurors investigating." Minchum didn't waiver under Dumbledore's gaze. He gave his own stare, not as severe, but with the weight of experience from a long and hard life. Sitting between them was impressive for me, and more intimating that I dared admit, so I watched them in silence like Head Healer Pyke was too. "Fenetre Clearwater and the Daily Prophet have refused to reveal their source."

The Headmaster's brow rose, giving him an air of incredulity that I instantly thought was fake. "And what will be done? This is a serious breach. Faraday's privacy and the Ministry have been compromised."

"I know Albus. This," The lines on the Minister's face twisted with his dark expression, slowly taking away the pleasant old man I was accustomed to and switching him up with a hard-liner wizard that could manage to pair up with Dumbledore. "It is not a good time for me to lose control of this, with my retirement at hand. Maybe if you–"

"Now is not the time for politics." Dumbledore pressed, interrupting the Minister for Magic like it was nothing. I knew Minchum –as well as by popular demand– was pushing for the Headmaster to accept his possition in the Ministry. It was well known information, and like it circulated, so did Dumbledore's refusal to be Minister. "We have to concentrate on finding who divulged Faraday's information."

"The Mulcibers." I said, having enough of them speaking about me like I was on another room. Though of course, that was my fault for accepting to sit quietly between them. Both old wizards and the Head Healer standing more silently than me, gave me their attention instantly as I blurred out a thruth I possibly should had spoken before. "Lorcan's parents were here last night."

"Loran and Arianne Mulciber?" The Minister said, though he was ignored.

"So they were," Dumbledore's dry tone was almost enough to make me feel ashamed, but only almost as he went on. His hands were coiled together in front of him as he had turned to face me, looking impossibly tall standing next to my bed. "And you shared your information with them?"

"Of course not, Professor." I tried to be as dry as he had been, not because I felt particular mean or angry as I did earlier, but because I didn't like being talk to as if I was an idiot.

I'm sure the wizard got my intention, as he continued in the same dry tone. "Then they merely visited to tell you of their son's expulsion?"

"And to threaten me," I tried not to let my voice show what I really felt; how even when I was strong when I dismissed Lorcan's parents their visit bothered me greatly. Even more now as the thought popped into my mind that they somehow were involved with the Daily Prophet. "Mr. Mulciber had the clipboard with my medical chart when he came in."

"Ah." Dumbledore breathed, his pointy hat hangging precariously on the top of his head as he leaned back. It remained firmly placed as he turned to Pyek. "It seems there was a security breach last night and we hadn't been told."

"That's impossible." Head Healer Pyke pressed with conviction, astonished at the insinuation. As I stared at her familiar face, I wished it was true. I was her responsibility and my unespected visist looked bad on the system she was running in St. Mungo's "Miss Nolan is our most protected patient. There are charms placed on this side of the Hospital just for _her_ protection, placed by you yourself, Headmaster. And only Healers can enter the hallway after visiting hours. It's charmed too."

"Yet they were here and in possession of her medical chart." Headmaster Dumbledore said to the woman, who kept her strengh under his intense scrutiny. He then spoke to the Minister. "I believe it would best serve to concentrate on investigating how the Mulcibers got in through the protection placed and who might had helped them."

"Right you are, old friend." With a decided nod Minchum turned to the Head Healer, almost giving me his back. "Wulia, please congregate all Healers and Trainees that are registered present on the fourth floor during the night. Do not tell them they shall be interrogated. I will send for my team to begin immediately."

I'm sure that the idea that someone from her staff helped outsiders get into my room for devious reasons scandalized Pyek, but she hid it well. As she left, her eyes landed on me for a second and uncounsiouly I gave her a small smile. As much as the Mulcibers affected me, I had gotten somewhat over it, and I didn't want the Head Healer to think I held bad feelings towards her. She was one of the few adults in my life I actually enjoyed willingly talking to.

I was left alone with the two old wizards.

"What happens now, sir?" I said but I wasn't entirely sure to whom I was asking, nor from which one I expected an answer. Regardless of the investigation finding out who helped Lorcan's parents or if they would all get repercussion, nothing changed the fact that my information was soon to be public. And in that moment of silence, I didn't know what I was feeling anymore. Initially I had been frightened, but really who wouldn't with how Minchum arrived? Then I was angry and maybe overwhelmed. Like with most matters in my life, I was powerless to stop the reprecusions of this invasion of privacy. But now as I waited for one of the two wizards to answer me, I didn't feel much. I was still sitting on my feet, and that ached so I unfolded my legs under me. After that I looked up to the nearest wizard, which happened to be the one to speak.

"It is time, I believe, for you to come into your full heritage," Dumbledore appeared to go back to a more pleasant attitude. His severe expression had dissapeared at some moment and it made me feel more comfortable, even when his words sparked surprise in me. "It's time to claim your true name. There's little reason not to, if the Daily Prophet will not take back the article."

I took a shaky breath, almost laughing. Why? The absurdity of it all, of what the Mulciber's did. Because if their intention had been revenge, then they unsurprisingly failed. I stared at Dumbledore and then at the Minister. He didn't appear to be amused by the idea as I had, neither did.

"Surely, Albus," Minchum said. "We should wait a bit longer? At least till after the initial commotion of the article settles. Maybe we can even wait out to our original plan for Faraday to come of age. It is not safe for her, under the circumstance that we face."

"Do you refer to your retirement or the rising unrest of war?" Dumbledore directed his newly ignigted severe look toward the Minister, whose face lit up with a tinge of red. It gave me the impression that just maybe he didn't like being reminded of the social and political situation he was facing.

"She will be sought after." Minchum argued.

That put me on edge instantly. Though what he said could mean anything, my mind flew to one matter in particular and I voiced it out to them. "Is there a chance the Dark Lord will want to recruit me? Would that happen?"

I had tried to ignore the talks around Slytherin House about the rise of the Dark Lord mostly because there wasn't anyone willing to talk to me after the shit that happened in the Dueling Society initiation. But many of my housemates seemed to be in favour of him and though the Dark Lord's pureblood propaganda was interesting enough, I didn't have an inclination towards it. I had better things to do; better to study than toast in the common room a wizard I had never met.

Dumbledore eyed me, this time with a scholarly look I was more used to. "Yes, there is a possibility that _Voldermort_ ," He stressed the name making the Minister and I shudder at it. "Will approach you, one way or the other, after this publication."

"Just because of my connection to Merlin?" I did not like the way my voice sounded small as I questioned my teacher about something I already knew.

"Indeed."

I tried to suppress a shudder, but I wasn't able to and the two wizards saw.

"Then we should wait." The Minister insisted.

I looked to him, trusting in the confidence I though I head in his voice and the stern sureness on his face. Then my eyes landed on Dumbledore, who held no answers of ignorance in his face.

"Faraday, the information is already out there. The Prophet has signed documents that prove your legitimacy if the Mulcibers took your files from the clipboard. Not even Merlin would know, I imagine, why they did that if their intent was to scare you into helping their son. If their intention really was to threaten you, then their actions have backfired." The Professor said, voicing out my same thought in the matter. "Our world knows you exist and they will not leave you to continue your life in peace. After the publication of this article, you will be in the eye of all wizards and witches. You will be a celebrity now, one capable of immense power and influence, should you take Merlin's name."

For a long moment after he finished, I stared. Then I turned to the Minister. "Will I still have the Ministry's protection?"

"It is yours for as long as you wish for it, whichever path you choose." He said in a way that made me believe his words, though not necessarily that I would be safe.

The ache on the pit of my stomach leassened with those words. Worried excitememt spread inside at the prospects of taking the family name. I would be the very first to have it in centuries as well as the only one to use it. At least until I had children of my own, if ever that happened. "I want to talk to Merlin first."

"He's a painting Faraday, what good will it do?" Dumbledore said.

"It'll make me feel better." I was using Merlin to press for time, I knew that and so did the teacher, but I wasn't lying. I did want to talk to my ancestor's painting and it would certainly make me feel better, which was something I desperately found myself needing.

Dumbledore didn't really seem to see it that way, nor apparently would he let my wishes in the matter to be realized. "I know you are frightened by the prospects, and the public assault you will receive should you come into the light, but do you think Merlin's portrait wouldn't be in favour of you doing it? Of you using his name?"

With that argument how could I even insist? And why would I if it killed any sort of doubts in me. I wanted my family name and everything it came with that much was true. I had wanted it since the moment I was told I was related to Merlin.

I gave a nod and that was the end of that discussion.

* * *

It was done.

The day before, I had to choose to take my family name, and today between the publication of the Daily Prophet article and the scheduled hour I was supposed to return to Hogwarts, I signed the papers.

Earlier I was given leave from St. Mungo's. I thanked and politely hug the Healers that took care of me and then I was flooed to the Ministry of Magic. I had been excited getting out of the hospital, mostly because I was tired of being there, and I was also looking forward to seeing the Ministry. But I didn't get that. I was flooded directly into the Minister's office and once in there I wasn't allowed out. Things were a blur once I arrived.

The office had been filled to the brim before I got there, a strange assortment of officials and special attendees present. The ones I recognized were Dumbledore, Head Healer Pyek, the Minister and Mr. McPhail from the Office of Ministry Wards. Other than them, there were a sizeable group of Ministry personnel including head of departments, members of the Wizengamot, the Head Auror and various other high ranking was also a score of reporters and a handful of random representitives from other magical communities of the world. I thought that was a bit much when I was told, but my status as sole decendant of the Prince of Enchanters himself merited it, I guess.

When the introductions were done, I was asked to sign a paper, a higly important one that reminded me much of the one I signed to secrecy during the Summer. Only that this one was the opposite. That one had hid me from the world, this one was presenting me to it, officially and irrevocably. Signing this one was me taking my heritage and family infull once and for all, as well as taking my true name.

No longer would I be Faraday Nolan. I was to take Merlin's name, the one he chose for himself when he too appeared out of fucking nowhere in the Middle Ages. Faraday Ambrosius from now own. The family name came with deeds to abandoned and forgotten lands up north and finally, a Gringotts vault key.

After an array of questions from the reporters that I didn't answer because I wasn't given the time or permission to do so, I was left alone in the Minister's office.

In a few minutes Dumbledore and Pyek will be rejoining me to take me to Hogwarts via sideway- apparition, so I just sat behind Munchum's desk, waiting.

Now that I had signed away the need for me to lie about who I decended from and how I had come unto the world as far as I knew, I was excited. The feeling crawled all the way up from my feet to my head, flipping everything it came into contact with and shaking my core. I was not looking forward to all the comparisons to my ancestors I was sure I would suffer, but to finally be free of keeping a lie almost made it worth it. I squiermed in the seat with delight. What would my dormmates say? Shit, what would my housemates say? They surely will be surprised to learn that I directly descend from our most famous wizard.

I did know what Lily will say, after the hex she'll probably send my way from keeping the truth from her. I shook my head, my hairbun bobbing from side to side. Lily wouldn't hex me, I think. She will probably say something profoundly beautiful and forgive me. Yeah.

Of the boys, well James and Sirius will most likely congratulate me or something. As well as Peter and Remus. They would surely find it fascinating and funny.

My thoughts were interrupted when the door opened slowly. I jumped from the seat, not because I though I was caught doing something wrong, but because I was elated that finally I was to go back to school. That happiness didn't last long. My hands froze on top of the Minister's desk as I recognized who was at the door.

She was alone, but the way she entered and quickly close the door behind her didn't calm the shaking in my stomach. After her green eyes scanned the room, making sure we were alone, Mrs. Mulciber smiled. It was beautiful, the gesture lit up her gorgeous face and the room like only the sun was capable of lighting up the world.

"Miss Nolan." She was dressed as rich as I knew she was, in silver robes exquisitly embroidered and she looked at me like I was her favorite person in the world. For a second, just a second, I basked in her attention, my insides burning up with a strange glee. Then I remembered whose mother she was and what she had said to me before, and that was enough to kill whatever strange feeling I had because of her or towards her.

"It's Ambrosius now." I clarified her, not amused with her arrival. "And you are not supposed to be here, Mrs. Mulciber."

She clapped her hands in front f her, taking a step forward, the smile never leaving her face. Her skirts glided gently around as her model like frame stood dignified in ways that even Mafalda would find herself envious of. I certainly was, even as I tried to look angry towards the woman. "I just need a moment, _ma chérie_."

My hands unfroze and I took them off the desk as I was taken by surprise by Mrs. Mulciber's open, polite and kind attitude. For another second I felt warmth inside of me, the good kind, but that died I could think of was of her expression last night and the hate she had held sorely for me. She had drastically changed. It was overwhelming and it made me feel somewhat childish compared to her. Not that I could compare myself to her, she was like a radiant matured sun. "W-what is it?"

"I came here to talk, only that." She said through her thick accent with hesitation, respect and patience; beautiful regret adorning her expressions. "What my son did, it was _impardonnable_. Not to be for-given. I know that now. We all do. And I hope for one day, that you will par-don us for the insult our family committed against you."

And it all crashed even more violently in my head. How could it even skip from my mind that this was the woman that bore, birthed and raised Lorcan Mulciber? He too had been like the sun to me once, and that only served to pester my existence. "Last night—"

"It was a mistake, _ma chérie_."

Again with the sweet sounding word. It beated horribly against something inside of me, and the intrusion stur me further. "You and your husband threatened me! And took my medical file. I know it was you who sold me out to the Daily Prophet."

"We had not intended—"

Her voice had been as collected as before, but my interruption waived her and her expression broke with panic as I spoke. "What? Did you not intend for your stupid plan to blow up in your face? What was the plan anyway? Didn't your husband read my file before he handed it away? Putting my legendary legacy under the limelight seems like a moronic way to get revenge on me."

"You are angry, I know this." She stressed every word, but whether it was to make me understand or the product of English not being her mother tongue, I don't know. "In our haste, we made a mis-take."

"Just one? Last night was messed up too." A lingering and disgusting wave went up and down my throat. Her words were heartbreaking, not to me for I no longer cared, but for the poor bastard she had brought into the world. I didn't have a mother as far as I knew and watching Mrs. Mulciber I was strangly glad. Better to be motherless than have a back stabbing wench like her for one. "You came to me claiming for Lorcan and now you're throwing him under the train."

" _Ma chérie_ ," She tried again, like the endearment would mean something to me, sticking a cord somewhere inside of me. No way. I didn't even know what it meant! "Lorcan did bad. We did bad, but—"

"Dumbledore and the Minister will be back shortly," I cut her words off as chilling as possible, actually glad that it wasn't hard at all. "I suggest you leave now, Mrs. Mulciber, if you don't want to get yourself and your precious family in more trouble."

Her eyes, even at the other side of the room shone brightly and beautifuly, desperate and in conflict, a muffled version of that last devestating stare her son had given me just before I fell down the stairs. She knew she had lost, that she couldn't do anything, not for herself, her husband or Lorcan. I had defeated her and her model-like body deflated as her mouth twisted to try to form words she wouldn't end up saying.

Head held high and shoulders impossibly straight, Mrs. Mulciber turned around to leave.

* * *

I tiptoed through the sixth year dorm, Gemma, Hestia, Gertrude and Mafalda sleeping comfortably in their beds, unaware of my arrival. They wouldn't wake, not when my footfalls were barely audible, not with the peace the night offered. It was dark, but I knew the way to my bed better than I knew anything else.

The prospects of sleeping on my own bed sparked in me an exhaustion I had not felt in St. Mungo's, yet I was sure that the Healers there would had loved. Dim green light shimmered from a nearby window, not quite lighting my bed, but making it even more appetizing none the less. My eyes burned slightly, and my nose threatened to begin to water. I was home; finally, free of Healers and Ministry officials, and completely free to do whatever I wished. I wanted see my friends, even if I had no choice but to explain all that had happened to me. I wanted to go to the Library with Lily and study until being thrown out. I wanted say hello to my dorm mates or smile at my housemates, though I was sure they would all eye me strangely. I wanted to go to class, more than anything, and go insane between writing rolls of essays and visiting professors in their offices. Hell, I craved for a full moon so as to run with Remus, Sirius, James and Peter; to lose all control and walk the Forbidden Forest with the pack, unchained and without a care.

I sniffled and pulled back the tears for I had little use for them now. Now my bed waited. I kicked my shoes off gently and pulled my outer robes off me to crawl between my bedcovers.

I had spent close to an hour speaking to Merlin outside Slytherin House, and though my spirits were up and sleep called, there were echoes in my mind of the conversation we had. There was the normal amount of talk of studying and classes. The portrait was adamant of making sure I hadn't forgotten my mission in catching up to the school curriculum and working on remembering the knowledge he hid in our blood, not that he needed to. There was also talk of me researching potential protection now that my connection to him was known in our world, and in school. But that was a thought I decided to save for later, for when I had met with my friends and I had classes under control.

So long as I was back in Hogwarts, I thought, I was safe being Merlin's descendant. The thought was so laughable that a chuckle escaped me just when my head touched my pillow. After that there was nothing else, but pleasant sleep.

...


	39. Chapter 38: Back at Hogwarts

AN: If this chapter seems rushed and/or sloppy then sorry, I guess. I couldn't help it. It was this or no chapter. I honestly don't know why this took so long to push out. Since my last post the electricity was fixed in my house, so I have light AND my friend gave me her old laptop so I can write in a normal keyboard. I have no excuses, other than I wasn't able to summon my normal determination/will to get writing. Yeah.

Also, I posted Chapter 24: Valentines in Hogsmeade last year! Do you know what that means? I've only posted like thirteen chapters since then! That's one per month basically, right? AGH! Last year today, I had such high hopes on already being on a higher chapter by now, like ninety or a hundred. Boooo!

Happy Valentines btw.

Anyway, read, enjoy, and review.

* * *

 **Chapter 38:** Back at Hogwarts

I woke up as I normally did; by myself and before the grandfather clock in the room announced it was six in the morning. The darkness the green curtains pulled around my bed provided was cosy, inviting to sleep an hour or two more. But that was an invitation I would never accept, even if I wanted to or needed it.

I had a long first day ahead and lots of assignments to start doing.

Thankfully, I had arrived back at Hogwarts at a perfect week. In the middle of it really, but still perfect. Easter Holidays was a week free of classes, though not of work, of course. I've heard that it was a good time to concentrate on the work given by the professors and to give the extra mile if one needed to raise class marks. Lily had been the one to tell me that, not that her grades needed to be raise over Outstandings. I don't think there's ever been a higher mark.

Anyway, my return from St. Mungo's delivered me right in the middle of it, so I had the perfect opportunity to work back to my original academic position. The one that allowed me to scrap pass the marks I needed to move forward. Yeah, minimum to pass and stay in N.E.W.T.s.

I'm sure my teachers must have given mountains of work, abysmal amounts to drive any student insane. Luckily for me, I had been pencilled into their schedules for the day –and various other dates during the rest of April– to meet in their offices. All thanks to Dumbledore. School work called like a siren calling sailors, and yeah I felt like I was sailing to my death. But in an excited doom to get everything done kind of way, not in the death doom.

What I wanted to do in terms of my assignments and studying was to dive fully into them, drive myself to exhaustion, headaches and sleepless nights to get them done and out of the way. That though, was impossible. I had been given stern sermons both in St. Mungo's and Hogwarts about taking care of my health. And their insistence angered me in ways that even laying in my bed I could feel my insides shaking slightly with the memory. I cared about my health, sure, but as I looked at the curtains for no reason at all, I knew that I would do as they said not for my wellbeing. It was to keep Dumbledore, The Minister, Head Healer Pyke, Merlin's portrait and Madam Pomfrey off my back.

So that meant making sure every adult in the castle saw me eating all my meals, pretending to had gotten bountiful sleep, being as pristine as possible and two hours of rest everyday with Pomfrey in the Hospital Wing.

I sighed. I had a long day head of me with those two hours with the school Healer, meetings with my professors and starting my assignments. But that was for the afternoon and the rest of the month. This morning was to finding Lily and the boys as soon as possible, for I missed them terribly, and to ask for forgiveness and explain, if necessary.

Comfortable and laid out under my covers, though slightly peeved that I had to remain in bed longer than I wanted to, I waited for my dorm mates to begin to rise. I decided to wait until they left the room completely, if possible, or until my bladder became too desperate.

There wasn't much fuss as they came to wake up. They were girls accustomed to rising early, so even in days with no classes; they woke shortly after the clock chimed. Long minutes passed before I heard any of them speak a word, but one of them shook her sleep off and began talking hoarsely. I think it was Gertrude, I couldn't tell. Her voice was muffled by what I might dare say was the sound of several showers running.

Shortly, the dorm was filled with commotion, as the girls went about loitering around the room. Mafalda's level tone carried above the sound, not because she was talking loudly, but probably because she was trying to get her words across to something said to her. "That won't be necessary, Gertrude. I'm going to the library with Ivan."

There was a wave of 'oohs' and 'aahs' by the other three girls before Gemma particularly began to tease. "Is it like a date?"

"Oh, is there love blooming?" Hestia, close to my bed said, joining in to what seemed fun gossip between friends that knew each other for years. Sometimes, when I eavesdropped on them like that, after the incident in the Duelling Society, I would get envious.

"Why would there be? He's my fiancé." Even being teased, Mafalda remained composed.

"I love my fiancé." Gertrude gave that titbit about herself as if we all didn't already know that she was crazy about her boyfriend, Rabastan Lestrange.

Right then, I didn't feel envious at all. In all honesty I was happy. I had a hard time swallowing for a moment, as I heard my dorm mates bicker a bit more about love and fiancés. As much animosity was between us, I really did miss them, even though I was gone just a couple of days. My time away from school had been shorter than my previous visits to St. Mungo's, but somehow this time I felt like longer had gone by. I don't know why. Maybe my close brush with death had something to do with it.

There was a loud tumble, like books falling from somewhere and after, Hestia whining out of nowhere. "Don't tell me you have rounds!"

"My Prefect duties are not just doing rounds."

Hestia didn't seem to care about that. "Gemma, you promised you'd help me today."

"And I will, after I'm done briefing Burk." The Prefect told Hestia in her best collected tone, almost coming close to how elegant Mafalda sounded when she used it.

"Isn't that Peregrine's job?" This was said by Mafalda as she referred to the seventh year girl Prefect. With Mulciber gone one would think that the responsibly of Slytherin House would fall on Peregrine Yaxley, but she wasn't the brightest tool in the shed when it came to being a Prefect. Not that one needed to be intelligent for the position; apart from occasional logistics, it seemed like an easy job to me. Anyway, Peregrine's forte was in dishing out detentions to anyone outside our House, in everything else, she had followed Mulciber. "Slughorn should have chosen a better replacement for Mulciber."

Gemma sighed loud enough for me to hear. "Niles Burk could never come close to even touching Lorcan's shoes, not with a head full of Qui—"

"Wait Gemma," Mafalda said, her voice dripping with worry and so making the whole room quieter with it. When she spoke next, even close to a whisper, her words resounded around the room. "Who pulled those curtains?"

So finally they noticed.

I guess that hoping these girls would leave the dorm so early on a holiday was a naïve thought, even more so wanting to wait in hiding for it. There wasn't a sound in the dorm for an extended moment before I sat up on my bed. I resigned myself into moving. It was a lazy day after all; no class and the girls would probably stay in as late as possible in the dorm before heading down for breakfast. Or at least till a more normal hour of the morning. As uptight as they were, they knew how to relax, unlike me.

Relaxing was not something I was ready to let myself enjoy yet. I would rest when needed and if I had to, but if I relaxed, well, I don't really know what.

Taking a deep breath, I shed my bed covers and rose to pull the side curtain. Light rendered me blind for a second, as I moved to stand, my bare feet welcoming the softness and warmth of the carpet on the floor. Walking to a position in which I was in plain sight to all the girls, I stood there for a moment, watching. Gertrude and Hestia were both sitting on the bed right across from mine, Mafalda was crouching next to her trunk and Gemma stood at the foot of her bed. She was the closest to me, immaculate in her school robes and the Prefect badge shinning on her chest.

I spared them all a glance, for what reason I couldn't say before turning around to open my wardrobe. The girls had stared at me in different levels of shock as the silence in the room grew awkward. Then again it became that way as soon as they realized I was in the dorm. Whatever their reasons, be it my sudden unannounced arrival from St. Mungo's, my duel with Lorcan Mulciber and him being expelled or the reveal of my ancestry, my dorm mates had been rendered speechless for the moment.

Fishing out some casual worn-out robes that as the rest of my close, made me look like the frumpy Slytherin I was once called to my face by Sirius, I took a deep breath again. I had missed the girls. That I couldn't deny, and it was a relief to see their faces even when they were staring at me as if I had two heads instead of one. However, I wasn't about to do anything about anything. I was not going to talk to them, trying to come up with small talk or the like.

In my opinion I had already done enough by climbing out of bed and presenting myself to them. That was enough. So, with my robes on hand, I ignored all the girls, walking passed them to the bathroom.

I took my sweet time taking a warm shower, hoping against hope that it would be enough time for the girls to get a grip on themselves to either leave or ignore me once I returned to the room. Particular, I was more hopeful on the ignoring one. Dressed comfortably, I walked to the sink that held my toothbrush and go into using it. When that was done, I brushed the tangles off my long hair, not a hard job. Pressing my hair back into a tight bun, I resigned myself again, to face my dorm mates if need and return to my trunk to get my things. The expression I gave myself back through the mirror was not too reassuring, though I didn't look as haggard as many other times I had seen my reflection. The healing and resting I got in the hospital had gotten my face to look refreshed. That at least, seemed good to me.

Back in the dorm, Gemma was nowhere to be seen.

She had left. At least one had done as I wanted. The rest stared once more, but I ignored that, this time going to my trunk. All my school materials were in there, so I began to gather everything I thought I would need through the day. I tried to consider not damaging my newly healed shoulder as I browsed through my books and notes.

"Are you well, Faraday?" A brave soul ventured. It was Gertrude, I knew her voice. I didn't turn to her. When I had returned to the room, I saw she hadn't moved, so I kept still too and did not answer.

Of my dorm mates, Gertrude was the most approachable, even in my time as a Slytherin pariah. And maybe if only she was in the room, I would have answered, but Hestia and Mafalda were there and that made me a little nervous. Though I knew it was their polite education that made her ask, I for the moment didn't feel like being polite back. Therefore, there was an awkward silence that extended itself more than it was necessary.

I resolved myself to leaving, bolting out the dorm and House as I rose putting my bag on my shoulder.

It was at that moment that Gemma returned, appearing to run smack into a wall when in fact she just came into noticing I was practically in the middle of the room being stared at by her friends as if I was a freak of nature. Which I guess is not wrong, in a way.

"I-umm," My staring back must had done something, for she opened her mouth and then close it again. Gemma looked around as if looking for help. Though I said nothing, I was stuck into staring at her, more because of shock than anything else. There we were, the six year Slytherin girls, standing around like idiots. As soon as that thought bounce around my head twice, Gemma collected herself as she did best, this time managing to speak at me. "Lily Evans is waiting for you by the portrait."

Now it was my turn to open and close my mouth.

I would like to say that I bolted from my dorm because I was excited to see my friend who had so kindly saved me the hassle of having to go look for her, but that would have been only half the truth. No, I abandoned my dorm mates because Lily was waiting by the portrait. The Slytherin portrait. The Slytherin portrait only a handful of people in the world knew was of Merlin. Merlin, my most times overbearing ancestor grandfather. Yeah no, this was horrible.

So I left the girls staring after me to run through the common room. There were a few students loitering in the common room and I paid them no mind. I strode as fast as I could to the exit, trying not to look at the handful of housemates there and what their reaction to seeing me might be. I wasn't interested in their normal stares, much less some the same as my dorm mates.

Just as Gemma said, Lily waited outside the portrait door.

My heart swelled with excitement and I couldn't keep a smile from breaking out on my face, not that I had no reason not to. She was a sight for sore eyes, standing there in muggle clothes. Her face lit up as she saws me, delightfully beautiful as it was framed by her long straight red hair.

I stepped out Slytherin House to jump on her, hugging her tightly. Again, it hadn't been too long since I last saw her, but I missed her as if months had gone by and not days. Lily, wonderful girl that she is, accepted my embrace with one of her own, holding me tight too. My eyes began to sting as it became hard to swallow, had I been standing on my own I would have begun to shake. The near-death experience had done a number in me that I didn't understand fully, yet it made self-doubt and loathing ring through my being. She was the first person I was to face about my lying and secret keeping. Lily who was my first and best true friend, what if she didn't forgive me? The Daily Prophet article had come out before I could formulate a good enough explanation. What if the worldwide reveal of my direct connection to Merlin and Morgana changed our friendship, or worst, damaged it?

"Did you read it?"

Lily allowed me to hide myself from her, not pushing me away or pulling back from the hug. Maybe she could tell how horrible I felt. I would have wanted to tell my secrets instead of having her randomly read them in the country's wizard newsletter. And I knew she had, even when I asked. Even when she answered. "Really hard not to, actually."

"I'm sorry."

A throat was cleared behind me, and a clearly male voice spoke after it. "Good morning Faraday."

Shit, I forgot.

Before I realized, I had pushed off Lily, who looked behind me to who spoke. She wasn't bothered, but then again she didn't know. I, on the other hand wanted nothing more than to hex myself or something for my own stupidity. I had run outside to prevent any acquaintanceship to form between my friend and the painting, yet instead I had given the picture a show for which he would try to interrogate me later. I turned around to face Merlin, already looking forward to the conversation about Lily he will want to have and how brilliantly I was going to ignore him.

"Good morning, grandfather." I repeated, starting uncomfortably at the painted canvas. Trying not to drag the situation longer, and evade any possible outcome that had me introducing Lily to Merlin, I grabbed her arm. Without being too forceful, I pulled her to the direction of the stairs, not giving the painting my back for a second. "Excuse us."

I let go of Lily once we had climbed enough stairs so not to be seen by the picture of Merlin. I hadn't thought of it the previous night when Dumbledore and Slughorn had walked me to the dorm, but these were the very stairs I had rolled down on a week ago. Seemed strange to me walking up them like nothing happened, without a second thought.

The information felt weird. Luckily for me, Lily had just the topic to make me forget about that. "That's your grandfather's portrait?"

"Ancestor really," I said without thinking, though it wasn't a lie. Lily eyed me with what I could only assume was curiosity and goodhearted suspicion. It clicked to me then that I had spoken much to her about my connection to the Slytherin portrait. This was her first time seeing it, and since I was free to speak of whatever I wanted, I went full on with the truth. "Merlin."

"That's Merlin!" Her voice rose were her astonishment, the news making stop moving.

"Shhh," I said though at that hour there wasn't anyone going up or down the stairs. I turned to her, stopping mid step to speak. It was a point I had to get across, because even if I technically didn't have to keep my secrets anymore if I wanted, the topic about items relating to Merlin and their existence were still something to be secretive of. "Only a handful of people in this school know. You can't tell anyone Lily. Promise me, please."

"Of course I won't tell." Lily reassured me and I believed her completely. I knew I could trust her with anything. And she could do the same with me. Maybe I should tell her that someday. "But will you tell me more? About everything."

There was no saying 'no' to that sweet plea of friendship, and I didn't even need to see into her green eyes to nod. "Yes, I'll tell you lots."

* * *

We found a secluded corner close to the stairs that led up to the Astronomy Tower and I told Lily as much as I dared to start with. She listed carefully and patiently, visibly curious of all I had to say.

I told her of my arrival in Diagon Alley, of the secrecy the Ministry had demanded of me, of my relationship with Lorcan and all the ups and downs of being Merlin and Morgana descendant, including the delirious state my female ancestor's blood made me go through . I spoke in detail about the blood knowledge, though she already knew a bit of that, and how Dumbledore helped me research to get a better understanding of what I had inherited. There were however, a few things I decided to leave out entirely for Lily's wellbeing and my piece of mind. I steered clear talking about particularly the Duelling Society and the monthly runs with the Marauders. Those were truths that weren't only mine and affected more than one person. They were also truths that might have adverse reactions. If Lily knew what the Duelling Society did in their initiations, she would bring Slytherin House to the ground alone with her wand if she had to. And if I spoke of my runs, I would be revealing the boys' great secrets. After all, saying that once a month I ran around the Forbidden Forest with a werewolf, a rat, a stag and a dog merited hours of interrogation alone.

Plus I would never betray Remus trust in me with his secret.

My stomach had begun to ask painfully for breakfast by the time I shut my mouth, but I pushed that aside as best possible. This was more important. Lily tapped her foot as she chewed everything I had said. I knew there were hard matters to come to grasp of, but it's true when they say that she's brilliant. Brightest witch in Hogwarts, if you ask me. "I can't believe you were actually in a serious relationship with Mulciber."

I wasn't surprised that her first reaction was toward Lorcan. Nor I was surprised to be glad for it. This topic in particular was a long time coming, and I'm an eternally grateful that Lily had the consideration of not questioning me about it before. "It was love at first sight, I think."

"The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. He had this unhealthy obsession with you and I'd always catch you giving him these painful looks that I didn't understand, but now I do. You were crazy about him." Hearing her say that didn't sit well with my empty stomach. She meant well by saying it, as she leaned her back against the stone wall, however it still felt horrible. I hated that she had noticed this thing, but then again, I never truly could hide what I felt inside for Lorcan. As blank as I tried to keep my face, I always knew that Lily could see the repulsion and infatuation I held towards him.

"Don't remind me."

"And you two duelled," She was staring at a point away from me, but I was looking at her so I fully noticed how dark her face became and how her eyes hardened. "All those injuries you got, he did that to you."

Of course she was angry. It was completely understandable, even more so coming from Lily, who even at the beginning of our friendship would had been happily to fight with me against Mulciber if only I had asked. Maybe I would have saved myself a lot of heartache if I had just asked for her help, hell if I had just talked to her about it fully. But that was now in the past, and though it still hurt and I would probably take a bit more time to heal, I was over it. I had been so since the duel. "And he bullied me for months."

What I added didn't calm Lily in the slightest, it did the opposite really, but that wasn't a problem.

"That ruddy bastard! I'm going to kill him. Mark my words Faraday; if I ever see that bloody yellow-bellied git again I'm going to introduce him to the pointy end of my wand." For an emphasis she shoved her hand up in the hair, as if she held her wand in it. I was taken aback for a second. Lily rarely ever spoke angry like that. And even when she did, she didn't pack on the insults. That is, unless she was shouting off James Potter, but that was another matter altogether.

A pang of fear went off inside me; though I pushed it away before I let it affected me. The last thing I wanted was for Lily to soil her beautiful soul with dealing with Mulciber "Hopefully, it'll be a long time before that happens."

"Did he know?" Lily asked and I looked at her not understanding. Once, she tried to not meet my eyes, but being the brave lioness she is, she stared at me steadily. "Your secret."

I was taken aback by her concern over that one thing, though I guess it might merit alarm. But that's not why I cared. I cared because she was worried that I had trusted him more than I trusted her before now and that made me feel all sort of good things. "I never told him anything outside the lies I was told to say. Actually I think I told you more of the truth the first time we talked than I ever told him."

At that, she smiled. Of course it made her happy, though she still didn't know that she was the first person ever to whom I was telling this.

There was the sound of a chiming clock in the distance, the big one that announced the time and the beginning of class on weekdays. This time, it just said that it was eight. Still early, but I guess long hours are to be expected on days that start early. I thought we had been there longer. It certainly felt like I had been talking for hours.

"What are you going to do now?"

I hadn't even realized that I got distracted looking at nothing. My gaze went to my friend, as I tried to make sense of her question where I stood. "About what?"

"Your future, I guess." She said with half a shrug. I don't know what brought her question on, if it was because my identity was public or simply it was the time to talk about it. Friends did that, I believe. Mafalda kept asking Hestia about her future plans too. That Lily was doing it was just that. She was worried about me.

Or so I thought when I went on to speak. I was probably right, though I don't know if about that. "The same thing I've been doing, try to keep up with class and graduate from Hogwarts."

"Yeah, but what about after that?" Lily took a step toward me, away from the wall. Her sudden move made me flinch a little, however I think it was mostly due with the ferocity of her questioning. I hadn't thought that this matter would turn up as unexpectedly as it did, or that it would be that important at the moment. "What will you do once you're out in the real world?"

"Do you mean professionally or what?" I didn't want to sound defensive, but I felt like that a little. "I haven't thought about it. What are _you_ going to do?"

That got her off my back faster than I thought it would. Lily's face relaxed, though it didn't seem particularly content. Passive is more like, as she returned to the wall to press a shoulder against it. My legs were beginning to kill me, after standing so much, but I compensated by doing as Lily, my body turned to her as well. "I wanted to be a Professor. Come here and teach magic to muggle-borns like me."

"You would be brilliant, Lily."

"I thought so too, but," Lily went on, her face dark again and it made my stomach start to bother me. I didn't like the way Lily's face insisted of souring like that. There was a deep sense of worry in her, one that she oozed from every pore and made me nauseous. I knew she didn't do it intentionally, but it made put me on edge. "There's going to be a full-on war, everybody says it and I don't want to sit around doing nothing. I want to help."

I stared, cocking my head to the side. "Are you going to be a Healer then?"

She eyed me strangely, as if I had said something weird. "No. I think I'm going to try being an Auror." Her words made everything worst. I didn't know much of the wizarding world outside of what I read in books and newspapers, but I knew what Aurors did, and how dangerous of a job it was on normal days. In days of war, well I didn't want to imagine. Even less when I had to imagine Lily being one. She must have seen distress in my face or something for she gave me a sad smile. "I know it's dangerous, but I want to fight. I won't stand back quietly waiting to be protected and neither should you."

I had a hard time swallowing, and after that, when I managed to speak, it was in a small voice."I don't-"

"Faraday," Lily hadn't heard me, hell I don't think she even noticed. She had looked away from me earlier, staring off to the corridor we had come from. "You should think hard on your future, now that you still have the peace to do it."

Her words resounded in my head, heavy and full of foreboding, though that wasn't Lily's fault. Truth be told, I had no clue why deep inside I was afraid. Because that was what it was, there was no escaping the truth, but I didn't have time to get to the reason of the matter at that moment. Next to me, Lily straighten, leaving her pose on the wall as she stared off to the corridor again. I followed her gaze, for that made me anxious, yet that didn't last long once I saw what it was, or more like who it was that was running towards us.

"Peter?"

With his mousy face red and puffy; product of the running I would imagine, Peter came toward me. Why he was running, I really didn't understand, but he was coming right at me so I couldn't keep at bay the pure happiness I felt in my entire being. Barely a week had passed since we last saw each other, yet Peter had been so worried about me to showcase such a beautiful action, to even run towards me. Never would I have thought to have a friendship in which something like that would happen. Before he jumped to hug me, I saw how glossy his eyes were, and the trail of tears that marked his face. With this and my reunion with Lily earlier, my bottom lip quivered as my heart warmed, reducing me to an emotional wreck. All I wanted to do was to cry with him, and it took a lot not to.

"I missed you." He said in my ear.

I held on tighter to his shoulders. "I missed you too."

When I looked up, the rest of the boys were coming too. They weren't running like Peter had, but once they were close enough they joined in the hug. James was the first one I saw, as he smiled at me, the hazel of his eyes looking particularly dashing behind his glasses. There was relief in his face, as he came behind Peter to put his arms around the two of us, but he looked slightly tense. There were bags under his eyes, he looked strained and exhausted, and his hair didn't seem as perfectly messed up as normally. A side glance gave me the answer. Lily, though she was still there, was looking away as I was engulfed. Of course poor James looked like that; he had been getting hexed all week by Lily. Both she and Sirius had spoken bountifully of the subject in their letters.

Speaking of Sirius, he gave me one of his best smiles, the kind that made girls swoon and a devious grey wink that had me shaking my head on the crook of Peter's neck. Dressed in muggle clothes, he appeared to not have a care in the world as he joined us. With his long arms going around James and Peter and me, Sirius made sure to crush us with his embrace.

There were grunts going around, a couple from me. It was then that I noticed that Remus had stayed behind. I tried to pull a hand free, one that had been trapped between Peter's shoulder and Sirius's chest to wave it. Remus, pale and exhausted looking as always, gave me a thoughtful smile that didn't reach his eyes. I thought that to be strange, especially since with my hand toward him, I could feel the pull of our blood. If it was because of me or him, I didn't know, but one of us called for comfort, and I couldn't move to satisfy it. It was a strange feeling, I'll admit, one that I think it was the first time I was conscious of it.

There was something I didn't understand, I don't know what, but it wasn't the time for me to figure it out. I started to squirm out the hug, it had dragged too long and too crowded, even though it was filled with comradeship and I'll dare say affection. It was that show of affection, I saw, had made Lily uncomfortable. Then again, James Potter was standing a few feet from her.

"Care to tell me how you knew where to find us, Potter?" She asked, crossing her arms as she glared at him.

"It's a secret." James said more like his normal self. He still looking strained, but he wouldn't be James Potter if he didn't risk his life to talk to Lily Evans "But long story short Lily-flower, is that I'm amazing and you should date me."

"She'll hex you again, James." Remus warned with a tired exasperation that made me think it wasn't the first or second time he had told James that recently, and I'm sure it wasn't. I was still not aware –I would have to ask Sirius– of just how many times Lily ended up hexing James. By the looks on the Gryffindor boy and the tense atmosphere between him and the Prefect girl, it must have been a high number.

"Mate, I think you mean we're amazing." Sirius put an arm over James shoulder as he spoke to him, completely serious about what he was saying. "So she should date all four of us."

Peter squealed next to me, the idea scandalous in his mind, apparently. I took a step away toward Lily, for what reason I didn't know. It was probably because I had been too close to James when he retaliated to the insane comment, throwing Sirius' arm off his shoulders, and squaring off facing his friend. "Touch my Lily and I'll kill you, _mate_."

Obviously or stupidly, I'm not sure; Sirius rose to the challenge, puffing out his chest toward his friend and speaking with the same spite. "Do it!"

Three things happened in a blink of an eye, or that's how it felt to me. A fight began, if it can be called that between the two boys when James pounced at Sirius, grabbing his friend attempting to go for a sort of headlock. Second thing I saw was that behind the tug and pull, as Sirius tried to gain the upper hand, Remus shook his head. A long rise and fall of his chest was indicator enough for me that he wouldn't bother to lift a finger to stop his friends. He remained silent, and somewhat distracted, even with what was happening in front of him. And the third thing I noticed was that Lily had produced her wand. I had seen it with just a sidewise glance, and I didn't need to look at the girl to know just how irritated she must have been at the whole absurdity happening.

At the sight of it, Peter wasted no time, and hurried to James. "P-prongs! Prongs!" He called as patted the fighting boy's arms, struggling to not become entangle or come out losing from it. When he got the attention of his two friends, he pointed to Lily, and when hazel and grey eyes went to her, their squabble was done. I'm sure that the sight of Lily Evans holding her wand in anger was frightening to anyone on the opposing side.

James and Sirius patted each other down, as if checking how the other was and then interlocked arms around each other's shoulders like the best mates they were even after their dispute. Like nothing happened, Sirius turned to me, his face as handsome as ever, but more youthful with red colouring product of his mock skirmish. "So Faraday, you're related to Merlin now?"

I was shocked by the sudden change, and the sudden turn toward me. My mind was not so ready to speak to them about Merlin and such after what I had just witness between them, but I tried as best I could. "It's been that way since I was born, really."

That made him chuckle. I think it was because of the insecurity with which I said it.

"Faraday Ambrosius." James spoke looking away from me, pronouncing my name out deliberately, as if he was tasting how it rolled off his tongue. At least that was my impression."We're you even planning on telling us someday?"

It took me a moment's hesitation to shrug.

"That's a no." Sirius announced to his friends, looking around.

Remus spoke up. He hadn't move from his earlier spot behind the rest of the boys, nor did he seem too comfortable to be there with us. "She wasn't obligated to tell you, Padfoot."

"But she should have." Sirius turned around to face his Prefect friend, letting go of James in the process to point at me with a hand as he spoke. "She's our Birdie. We're her only friends. It would have been good to know."

I guessed I should have been ticked off about those comments, and I was about to voice out my slight discomfort about that when Lily spoke. "What good would it had done, Black?"

Lily, standing with her arms crossed and still holding her wand, had spoken with abhorrence in her voice, annoyance and spite dripping from every word uttered. And so Sirius, of course, had answered her very much the same way. I was mildly aware that at least he hadn't met Lily's challenge and pulled out his wand too. "Like I would tell you, Evans."

"I d-don't care that Faraday didn't tell us. It doesn't matter." Peter, bless his heart, spoke standing next to me on my other side.I gave him a smile as thanks and he accepted it with one of his own.

"Peter's right, Padfoot. It doesn't matter that Faraday is related to the most famous wizard in history and she's wasted so far the potential of that birth-right by not having us help her exploit it." The way James said it, did make me feel like it did matter to them. However, it left me questioning just how they would use my ancestry for their crazy plans. I might even be inclined to hypothetically ask later. "Like our dear Birdie once said 'we don't need to know everything about each other'."

"I never said that." I told him; though it did sound like something I would have said at some point.

"In my heart you did." James said giving me the kind of smile that he would normally shine toward Lily, which she hated. I don't know why really. It was impressively charming, lighting up his face and knowingly capable of making hearts skip, but slightly full of itself, like he was. Maybe that was it.

I felt my cheeks get warm in a good way, so I smiled up at him. "And so I did, if you say so, my love."

That did the trick and before James tried to pretend my flirting hadn't affected him, Sirius and Peter had begun to laugh. Even Remus cracked a smile as the bespectacled boy looked around with a red face, searching for who knows what. He gave me a slightly embarrassed glare, this was James Potter in front of his lady-love; he had to maintain as much composure as possible. I'm not going to lie; I did feel a sense of gleeful pleasure when I met his stare.

"Merlin, I will vomit," Lily said, shaking her head and pushing her wand unto a back pocket. She held my gaze for a second before motioning to the corridor that led to the rest of the castle with her head."Let's go get breakfast, Faraday."

"I'll go t-too." Peter voiced, grabbing unto my arm, so to not be left behind. Not that I would do that.

James was back to his normal antics, and he perked up at the idea of sitting for breakfast with the girl he was after. I imagine it was that and most likely it was. He gave me the charming smile from before, and shared it with Lily too. O-ho I was right, though there was a minimal chance of being wrong."We should all go. Like Sirius said, were friends."

"I did say that." Sirius said and the rest of the boys took it as a sign to start to leave. They turned to the corridor, and even Peter let go of my arm to start walking.

At the collective movement of the crowd, Lily placed a hand on my arm, pulling on it slightly to stop me from moving. I looked back as she spoke. "On second thought, I'll go get your notes Faraday and meet you in the library, if you're up for it."

"Aww no," I protested realizing that oddly, I had an echo. A glance to the side showed that James was now standing closest to me, and had voiced out the same displeasured as I did.

"See you in a bit." Lily left me no choice but to agree with her as she left us.

I was left with no choice in the matter, as Lily didn't wait for me to give her an answer. She smile in parting, and pushed past the Marauders to hurry down the corridor. I sighed as I watched her go, torn between wanting to spent time with her and the boys. Lily tried to be civil to them for my benefit, but I guess there were limits to everything, and I prefer for her to be away for a while than to start hexing James. It was still a little disheartening to watch her go the same way we were taking to the Great Hall. Only her promise of meeting in the Library shortly kept me in top spirits as I went with the Gryffindor boys.

We followed a grim face Remus, who looked like he was in serious need of the energy a good breakfast would provide. Peter and Sirius went after him, and at the back I fell into step with James. He didn't seem too affected by Lily's fleeing and the relaxed expression he carried made me feel a sliver of admiration toward him, I don't know why. Maybe I was falling in love with him.

"Hey James," I called as I laughed at the thought of love, other than platonically, toward James. His head turned my way as he raised his brow at me. "How did you guys find us?"

His hazel eyes squinted behind his glasses as he looked at me like I said something strange. And though I did believe that was a normal occurrence with me, this wasn't the case. "Wormtail told you, don't you remember?"

I shook my head.

Pursing his lips, James reached to his back pocket, stopping for a moment. Remus, Sirius and Peter didn't seem to notice that we had stayed slightly behind. From his pocket, he produced a large, square piece of folded parchment with nothing written on it. Somehow I expected something brilliant, and I think he saw the dissatisfaction on my face. With his other hand, he pulled out his wand and pointed its tip to the parchment he held, muttering something about solemnly being up to no good. That did something, and James handed me the enchanter thing.

I felt my eyes go wide as lines took life of their own, crisscrossing, joining together and fanning towards every corner of the parchment. Holding gingerly between my hands, I stared at it, marvelling at what I was seeing, and what I could recognize was a brilliant piece of enchantment.

"Where did you get this?" I breathed amazed of everything I was seeing, recognizing what the tiny, named ink dots moving around meant. I read the great, curly green words that appear on the top of it, reading the particular nicknames of self-entitled purveyors of aids to magical mischief-makers. There was no hiding the wide almost speechless smile I felt on my face. James seemed particularly pleased to see it. "TheMarauders' map? This is a map of Hogwarts?"

"We didn't get it anywhere. This is our work of art. Our masterpiece, a map of Hogwarts that shows everyone in the castle at every minute of every day." He was astronomically pleased by the look on my face, the amazement and surprise I couldn't help be engulf by. Of course, only he and his group of friends would think of doing something like a map of the school. My elbow was grabbed by James, who pulled me closer to him. He leaned down, almost as if to whisper to my ear, but he didn't get that close, only enough for me to see the brown, gold and green in his hazel eyes with great detail."Don't tell Evans. Please Faraday?"

"Why are you even telling _me_?" Sure, I asked, but I didn't answer every question directed at me. Nor did I expect other people to do differently, not when it was with something as amazing as a real life map of Hogwarts created by gifted students to cause mischief.

"You kicked Slytherin arse Faraday, you're officially one of us now." With an infectious smile he took back his map, folded it and put it securely on his back pocket. I stared at him, thinking about what he said. If he was referring to my fight with Mulciber, I don't think it was something to boast about. I held my ground but he ended up winning. Technically, I guess I did beat him around a little; however it was nothing compared with what he ended up doing to me.

I made a face at him, a twisted one that meant no harm, but also tried to convey that I didn't like his comment at all. "Don't be mean, Potter. I'm a Slytherin too, you know."

"Not to worry, we'll make a Gryffindor of you." That smile never left his face, and of course it didn't when it looked so easy and laidback there.

I scoffed at the absurdity, enjoying James but just that.

"Move it, Ambrosius!" Sirius yelled farther along from us. I don't know if he had just realized that we had stopped, or it was now that he chose to call us, but I hurried toward him. Leaving James to follow behind me, I fell into step with Sirius and Peter, Remus still leading the way. Being called by my real surname was strange to me, I realized as I walked, not that I had ever gotten used to Nolan.

I guess I just had to get used to this one.

We made it to the Great Hall shortly after, and all I wanted to think was that I was exaggerating by saying that every pair of eyes siting for breakfast fell on me. But it wasn't an exaggeration and I was at least glad that it was still the morning, and the tables of the Great Hall were at their slowest time of the day. And that meant that less than half the school population was present to witness the descendant of Merlin and Morgana eat her first meal back in Hogwarts.

Great.

It took me a lot, but I braced myself and turned toward my table. Resisting the urge to squirm under the limelight, that was something I would try not to allow myself ever, if possible, I searched up the Slytherin table. The girls of my dorm were sitting by the middle, heads turned my way too. They had been cordial enough in the morning, they acknowledged my presence and two of the even asked me how I was doing, but I wasn't about to sit with them. I looked on. Closer to me, I recognized the faces of a few first years, particularly that of Graham and his friends. He too was staring my way, but unlike my dorm mates, I was interested in sitting with him. I took a step towards my table, and when I went for a second, I couldn't move.

There was a familiar pull at the back of my head, where I knew my hair neatly tied into a bun was. Someone grabbed it to prevent me from leaving, and the only person that did that was Sirius.

"Where do you think you're going?" He asked me. I couldn't see his expression, as he stood behind me, but he didn't sound particularly please at me.

"To get breakfast?" I said motioning to the Slytherin table.

"Not on that table you're not." He scoffed, letting go of my hair, and moving me around in a way that I somehow ended next to him with one of his arms around my shoulders. With that he led me in the direction of the Gryffindor table behind his friends. "You're sitting with us for the rest of your life now."

I looked up at him, wondering if he was joking or not about it. "You know that's not going to happen, don't you?"

He rolled his eyes, looking away from me. "Let a man dream, Faraday."

That left me speechless for a second. Not sitting on the Slytherin table for the rest of my school life was improbable, and he knew that. As great friends as we were, my occasional meal with the Gryffindor's before my duel was just that, occasional. As much animosity as there is between me and my housemates, I do take to heart the need to sit with them. And obviously, the pride of sitting on the Slytherin table; nothing could change that, not even possible death.

"Alright, but only for today." He seemed particularly pleased that I gave in into him, but it wasn't a matter I was interested to fight for. I would sit on the Slytherin table whenever I wanted to. However, I was my first day back, and like I had intended as soon as I woke up, the morning was to be dedicated solely to meeting with my friends. I had missed them dearly, and they missed me too, their letters were indicators enough. Speaking of letters. "Wait Sirius, tell me something. What happened with the bet? Did we win?"

Sirius looked down at me with what I can only describe as amazement, as if I grew a second head and he was marveling me. It felt strange for a second, but then a smile that was up to no good stretched on his face as he fished into his pocket and brought out jiggling hand. Needless to say, I was delighted with his accomplishment.

...


	40. Chapter 39: Getting to normal

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction created sorely to satisfy my imagination. Harry Potter and anything/everything related to the books belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing in this fanfic that might be recognizable as belonging to the canon of HP.

 **AN:** I didn't intend this to take so long, but yeah. Here we are, months late.

So yeah, I hope you all enjoy.

* * *

 **Chapter 39:** Getting to normal

Sitting among my Slytherin classmates in Charms, my unwavering gaze was on Professor Flitwick as he went about giving a fascinating lecture. Every now and then I would look down, but only to make sure that the notes I was taking were legible.

But that was it. I didn't let my gaze linger around, not toward the inviting window that presented a wonderful sunny day or the new doodles on my desk probably made by a student earlier in the morning. I especially kept my eyes away from Lily or the Marauders less I fall incline to get distracted looking at them too. The tiniest distraction could throw me off the catching-up train, and if I wanted to have time to sit around doing nothing, if only an hour in which I could sit with Peter or Lily without a worry, I needed to use time in class entirely. Even if I was going insane.

Easter Holiday —or the couple of days I had of it— was good for me. It was a short time, really, but I was able to get back to my preferred routine. My studying habits were ever the same. I pushed myself into using a maximum amount of time for work, spending many hours away buried in books and my notes. And as for sleep, I was back to my normal four, maybe five hours a night, if possible. So far, I was harvesting the fruits of my hard labour. I didn't feel like I was drowning in my classes, even though I had only taken a handful of them since I got back.

Though, I did try to keep a window opened for distractions every now and then.

If I didn't, I risked getting kidnapped by James and/or Sirius. And even though that always proved to be a much needed break that I would refuse to give myself, it was a hassle. One second I would be studying in the Library, alone or with Lily, and the other I was levitating over my chair with a Marauder pointing a wand at me. It was more exhausting than embarrassing, though, especially the part where I had to fight against my skirt to stay in proper place.

Aside from spending resting time with Lily, and eating stolen snacks in an empty classroom with the Gryffindor boys, my days were consumed by studying. Nothing had changed. It was the same as before my tumble down the stairs, save that I didn't have Mulciber pestering my life. That was the best part of it, surely.

Technically, only a week had gone by since I got back, and though I was enjoying Charms at the moment, I wanted for it to end early. I had a Defence essay I needed to revise before giving up my free periods of the day to Madam Pomfrey. Normally she and I would have our daily meetings two hours before dinner, but since she deemed Defence Against the Dark Arts as a dangerous exertion, she separated our normal session to before and after class. It was a bother for me, but at least that gave me a free hour to do as I pleased before dinner.

Dinner that happened to be with the Slug Club.

A Slug Club that for the first time for me would be devoid of a certain someone that had enjoyed tormenting me.

And tomorrow was a Hogsmeade trip too! My week back was going to end up being amazing.

Anyway back to my health, so far I had been using my time with Pomfrey to force myself into taking naps. It had immense benefits and Peter was the one to thank for the idea. He'd been listening to me vent one rainy afternoon about my two wasted hours of the day and my wish to be able to study more, when he voiced out a perfect plan that was indication enough for me as to why he fitted so well with his group of friends. Peter offered me the idea of tricking the Hogwarts Healer in the best way possible. So, it went with me working to the wee hours of the night, and resting my tired eyes during time with Pomfrey. And nap away my two useless hours in the Hospital Wing. That way, she actually saw me resting, I didn't feel like I was wasting two precious hours of schoolwork, and I could work into the night in my dorm as I pleased without worrying too much on being caught on my lack of rest. Simple and massively effective. I wished I had thought of it last term when I was forced into the Hospital Wing daily as well. It was a wonderful plan, really, and it was reaping results. Currently I was only late on half the work given to do during the Holiday. Considering the time I was away from my NEWTs, it's bloody amazing. Surely, Peter deserved a nice gift.

Speaking of him, a note from him landed on my desk. It was timed wonderfully, Flitwick had turned around, and a bird made of paper perched at the edge of the desk, pecking the parchment in which I was writing. For a moment I thought about ignoring the bird, or grabbing my wand to set it on fire, but I knew it was from Peter, and he normally didn't pester me during class anymore(at my request), so I went against my previous resolve about distractions during class. I grabbed the bird without hesitation. It went with a fight, as it normally did, pecking my hand as I fisted it. I took my wand to mutter the reversing spell, and once the piece of parchment unfolded I went about trying to decipher Peter's messy handwriting.

 _Going to watch practice?_

I looked up, knowing Peter's precise seat among the Gryffindors. He was slouched over his desk, staring back at me. I nodded my head at him as an affirmative to his invite; mostly because I wasn't going to bother writing the yes down and charming the parchment to fly back at him. That seemed like a waste of time. My gaze, uncontrolled for the moment, edged to Peter's side, where a certain Black stared at me like he wanted my attention. Leaning back on his chair and holding a dry quill, he gave me a smirk and a wink. Trademarks of his that never got old.

Giving my own smirk as an answer to his antics, I began to look away when my eye caught Lily. Her hair resting over a shoulder, her pointed stare was sorely on Flitwick. She didn't notice my staring, too concentrated sitting among her friends. Her beautiful profile reminded me of something.

Something I had been talking about with James the previous night, when without ceremony, I had been sidetracked, by force, on my way back to my dorm by said Gryffindor. I searched for him quickly, finding him seating on the desk behind Sirius with Remus. Like Peter, he was slouched over his desk, but unlike the rest of his friends, he was scribbling away like a maniac. I don't think he was following the lecture.

I smiled to myself.

Lily wouldn't appreciate my plotting, not with the workload we had, her Prefect duties and Slug Club later on, but it was for a good cause. I knew she would forgive and understand. Hopefully.

I turned back to the Professor, resolved on not missing a thing.

"Excuse me, Faraday," Someone interrupted the flow of Flitwick's voice to the inside my brain. The sudden interruption brought me back to where I was sitting, and as I turned to the side, I made sure my shoulders were as straight as possible. I was facing Mafalda, so of course I had to at least try to look as elegant as her. Not that I could, with her curled, dark hair free around her shoulders, her hand grasping a quill over a piece of parchment with lines of exquisite writing. I think she waited for me to say something, like acknowledge her in a more official way, but since I kept my mouth shut, she went on."We're having a study session in the Library after class. Do you want to come?"

I stared; I didn't even try to hide my confusion. What, just what? My thoughts raced all over her words, as I tried to process what they actually meant. Mafalda Bole, elegant and poise Slytherin that she was, was inviting me to go study, not just with her, but with the rest of our dorm mates, because she clearly said 'we' and that in her case included Gemma, Hestia and Gertrude.

Merlin's left sock.

My staring, unwavering and unabashed for the moment because of the abysmally large shock actually made her squirm in her seat! Composed Mafalda squirming because of me! Shit.

"No." The crude answer left me without a care in the world.

Her expression was somewhat comical, maybe I would had even laughed if I didn't prefer being silent in front of my housemates. Mafalda was uncertain with my answer for a moment, as if she hadn't considered that I would give it just like that. If it had been to Lily's friends Dorcas and Mary, I would have followed a courteous protocol, I guess. Say whatever truth or lie on my way into an acceptable excuse. But since I did neither, Mafalda was stranded facing my bad manners, and she even looked to Gemma, sitting on the row in front of us for I don't know what. Gemma, not entirely turned back at us, gave a gentle shrug and turned back to Flitwick. Mafalda did the same.

I looked at the Professor standing on his stack of books, listening to him, but not really hearing exactly what he was saying. I couldn't, not when the topic of my dorm mates trying to get on my good side was glaring at me with the intensity of the harsh sun.

For a long time, I had the hunch of what being known as Merlin's descendant would be like at school. Dumbledore and Merlin's portrait had taken the initiative of filling up my head with it since they first met me, and back then, I had silently enjoyed the idea, even looked forward to I guess that was still true, I was immensely curious to how things would be once my heritage was revealed. But it was uncomfortable for me; it was after all a double-edge sword. On one side, I enjoyed the uncomfortable shift that tripped my housemates to their was like back in September, when I arrived in school only that ten-fold. Not only was I a fellow pure-blooded witch from a prestigious family, I was the only known descendant of bloody Merlin, Prince of Enchanters and Slytherin royalty. And of course, to my housemates that merited an abysmally different treatment towards me than the cold regard I had come to get used to. I did enjoy the attention, the awkwardness my presence would surface in people. It was fun to see their flustered faces as they tried to be nice to me after months of glares and snide comments or like Mafalda, see them squirm as they waited for me to say anything to them.

But the fact of the matter, the crux of it all that sent all malice down the drain was that this fame was because of Merlin, and just him. My only part in the equation was that I was related to him, that was my only importance. And that was the other side of the sword, the side that faced me and I did not like one bit of it.

My housemates were treating me nice because of who I descended from, not because they liked me or anything. I hadn't done a thing deserving of reverence and respect so far, and that I was being showered with it now, in the circumstances that they were in, made my stomach tighten and my face scrunch up in frustration. It was maddening, to be hello'd at by kids that only ever looked at me when spreading rumours about Slytherin hate or dating gossip, mainly relating to the huge amount of time I spent with the Marauders and that one time I went with Sirius to Hogsmeade to win a bet. Having Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs and even Gryffindors going out of their way to actually try to talk to me for absolutely no plausible reason aside because of Merlin, was truly enraging.

It had been better, I think, being a pariah than a celebrity, which I apparently now was in a way. The knowledge left a nasty after taste in my mouth

Flitwick said something about the next charm we were to study, and after instructing us to the page to read, he presented the Water-making charm. He went about with a presentation of the Aguamenti spell, levitating a large crystal basin from behind a stack of books, and then demonstrating the correct hand movement needed. Water erupted from his wand in a dazzling and refreshing display as it flew unto the basin at the same time as he spoke the basic information of the spell.

He had only said a sentence of it, when there was a soundless pop in my head. Slowly, and accompanied by a raging headache, my mind remembered everything there was to remember about Aguamenti.

I shut my eyes, tightly pushing my lids down in a vain attempt to have that pressure lessen the pain my blood-knowledge insisted on me. It didn't work, but at least once it was over, I hadn't trouble remembering what to write down as notes, as I had failed to hear Flitwick's detailed explanation.

"Remember the hand movement," The Professor said. "Right to left, smoothly. We will be practicing it on our next class."

With that, and an extensive essay to do assigned; class ended.

I took a bit of time getting up to leave, my fellow Slytherin rising around me, as my attention went to my notes. I had scribbled a couple of lines like gibberish, and it was only when I stared at them for a solid two seconds that I noticed that they weren't written in English, but in Latin. I had no idea what it said, though I figured it might be a corresponding spell or information or something to the Water-making charm. At that, I grabbed my book bag and pushed the parchment inside, ignoring the awkward folding it took. It wasn't the first time I had randomly written something down in Latin or some other ancient dead language, and every time it happened it frustrated me even more. I had considered a book and teaching myself the languages, but I hadn't the need for that when I had to review my Potions notes. I guess I could ask a teacher or even Merlin's portrait about it; however that wasn't something I wanted to do. My curiosity wasn't that interested or desperate.

Everything packed in my bag; I stood up, just at the right time to turn to Lily, who had walked to my seat to collect me from the Slytherins. She looked radiant, with her hair in a long braid over her shoulder as she stood by me. "So how was it?"

"I want to die." I said looking away from her. Her hand landed on my arm, and before I knew it, Lily Evans pushed me. It was a light shove echoing in the room with my friend's laughter, as well as me bubbling with a chuckle as I held on to my desk for balance. Trying to give a convincing glare, I watched her give me a wide smile and I couldn't be angry with her. , my merriment went down a little, as the past hours of class came back into my mind."You were right; my first Double Charms wasn't easy."

Lily nodded, her head cocking to the side as she pursed her lips in agreement, I guess. "I did pass Divination with an O."

Shifting my bag on my shoulders so the books inside it didn't hurt me, I took in a surprised breath."And you didn't go on to NEWTs? Lily Evans!" I said in a reprimanding tone to my friend, who looked at me like she wanted to push me again. That only made it better for me. "You have a gift, and now you're squandering it off with Charms and Potions."

She shook her head, chuckling like she didn't have a choice, which she didn't since I'm hilarious. With that, she grabbed my arm, pulling me to move.

"Where did Mary go?" I asked her as I let her lead me away.

Lily shrugged. "Off to her boyfriend, I'd imagine."

I let out a breath. "Ah yes, those things we don't have." At my words, Lily scoffed and it made me have to do the same thing. With that I pulled her closer, remembering my surprise plan with her involved. "I need to ask you a favour."

"For what?"

"Well," I began, but we were coming out the classroom then, and my eyes immediately spotted two particular mischief makers. "I'll tell you in a bit."

Outside the door, we met James and Sirius. They were sitting on a ledge, their backs to one of the nicer inner courtyards in Hogwarts, favourite by our year group as an outdoor lounging area. They watched us as we came out the classroom, and James in particular made it very clear to call me over. I obliged, mainly because he had kept it nice and quiet, and hadn't yet ran off his mouth with anything 'Lily-flower' related. I looked around as I made poor Lily stand in front of them. I held her arm tightly, in case she bolted. She liked to do that. "Where are Peter and Remus?"

James, almost sliding off his seat spoke up after very deliberately running his hand through his hair with meticulous messing up expertise."Running to the Library. Wormtail said something about coping Remus' essay, so he rushed after him."

I nodded, my eyes darting from James to Sirius and back again, both of them evaded my gaze. There was something going on that I didn't understand yet. Honestly, I hadn't had yet the inclination to ask, but the way things were heading, I was going to have to. The boys, particularly the ones in front of me, tended to get a little weird whenever I asked about Remus. I had noticed. I also noticed that Remus seemed extremely busy as of late. Peter had said the same thing the night before, when I made a comment about it, but it was left at that when he offered me a newly opened Cauldron Cake. I didn't say anything; for I totally understood if Remus was busy his Prefect duties and classes. Lily was the same and me too, minus the Prefect things. I completely understood that, so whenever I saw him go I couldn't say anything. And when I thought of it, I was surprised that I haven't really spoken to Remus at all since I got back. Not even to discuss schoolwork, which was strange to say the least. That was our thing. That and our connection through Morgana.

"Up for some Exploding Snap?" James asked me out of nowhere, though unsurprisingly, his eyes didn't stay on me.

"Cant," I told him immediately, not because the offer wasn't inviting. I had plans for the day, a full day ahead still, and I would be seeing him later on. Plus Lily held on to my arm, patiently waiting for me to be done with my friends so I could give her the attention she deserved. "We're off to McGonagall's office."

"Again?" James said sounding exasperated to me, though I didn't really understand why. Why was he that displeased by it and Sirius too? He reacted as the same time as his friend.

Sirius, who had been sitting on the stone ledge all this time, slid off to be next to James. "You were there yesterday. It's like the fourth time since you got back." He faced me off, looking down on me, not with ill intent, but because there was no choice; he was just taller than me. I didn't know what to take of what was happening, and I tried looking at Lily for help, but I didn't manage it. Sirius went on. Though he wasn't talking to me this time, he had turned to James. "I think Minnie is hogging the descendant of Merlin all to herself."

"I wasn't going to say it Pads, but I've been thinking it all day." Pushing his glasses up his nose, James assumed a somewhat conspiring scholar look, one that I wasn't too familiar with, coming from him. "Maybe she's having our dear innocent Birdie teach her all the good transfiguration spells that only Merlin knew. Taking advantage, I mean. You know how good Minnie _is_ prying information."

Ever his partner in crime, Sirius agreed. "Mate, you're on to something."

I on the other hand, apart from staring both confused and amazed, spoke up before they went on or Lily finally lost it waiting. "It's the other way around." That got their attention, even Lily took a step back from me to stare. Her curiosity was enough to not seem entirely peeved at having James standing a person away from her. I went on to explain the truth, as I intended to do with my friends once my heritage was made public. "I'm imposing myself on McGonagall with the excuse that I'm related to Merlin. It's the only reason she agreed to have me on her NEWT class. All the teachers, really."

"I had wondered." Lily spoke for the first time, lowering her eyes when I looked at her. I would like to say that her cheeks were tingling with red, but since it would be with embarrassment, I ignored it. I looked down too, biting my lip; I would never want my friends to be embarrassed about admitting to wondering why I was getting it easy at school, especially since it was something that meant much to her.

The news were more shocking than I thought, as there was a moment of silence. I keep my head down, not comfortable with meeting any eyes.

"Well," James began with a shrug, passing his hand through his hair like always. He met my eyes, and I couldn't help looking at him fondly. If admitting that I was getting special treatment at Hogwarts made me feel embarrassed, James Potter made it seemed like it was nothing to stress about. Something I had done until that very moment. "There's nothing wrong with accepting help."

I think I got carried away staring at James for longer than was necessary, or it felt that way once Lily cleared her throat. Maybe only a second had gone by. Sirius and James didn't look uncomfortable by having me staring at one of them for a long period. Then again, those two weren't the most conventional of boys I've met so far. Lily held a bit more tightly to my arm, making me turn to look at her. She seemed a tad bewildered, but I didn't understand if it was at me or what. She tapped her wrist as she still held on to me, and I knew what that meant.

"Right," I said to her then turned to the boys with a smile. "We're off."

* * *

My hour with McGonagall in her office was not the best, but it wasn't necessary the worst either. We went over the assignments I had given in so far, she made comments on how I needed to work on my wording, expressions and the like. Apparently, according to her, my work for Transfiguration was fine. She was pleased with my growth. Her one problem was that I had poor grammar skills and possessed the spelling level of as second year. And that wouldn't do if I wanted to go on to the last year of her NEWTs class.

And to that, I said that how was it my bloody fault that Hogwarts didn't offer a Grammar class or something of the like to help me write my stupid essays to fucking perfection!

McGonagall should be impressed with my poor writing; after all I could still do it even after a violent landing onto Diagon Alley, amnesia and a tumble down a huge staircase. My writing hadn't been such a bother before, why did she have to add it to my already humongous work pile?

I left her office feeling horrible, and to top it off, I couldn't blow off steam in Defence Against the Dark Arts. Not when Madam Pomfrey had made a show to Professor Ofina about my health and her practice methods.

At least Professor Ofina didn't seem to hold it against me, and graciously conjured a seat pushed under a window for me to watch the days practice when it began. The first half of class had been devoted to theory; trying to read the text book at the same time as Ofina insisted on giving her lecture. After the desks were pushed away, I watched in envy as my darling Hufflepuff partner, Missa Lufkin was left to fire her spells at the teacher. Once that was over, the teacher gave assignments when the time to end class arrived, and I added chapter reading and a roll essay to my to-do parchment list. Brilliant.

I left Defence on my own, to go meet with dear Madam Pomfrey, but as I went out I spotted a familiar face that resounded with me.

Graham Rowle waited among the Slytherin first years with his two friends for their Defence class to start. He appeared to be searching the crowd, as much as his small height allowed him to, but he stopped that as soon as he saw me. His blond little head was directly pointed at me and I waved at him a tad, trying to keep my bag from slipping down my shoulder with the weight it held, and Graham did the same back as I walked.

Anne noticed me, and waved too. Though I barely knew the girl, it struck me as odd that she was doing that. It took me a moment to realize she wasn't enthusiastically waiving at me like Graham, she was forcibly beckoning me to go to her. A bit confused, I went to them.

I couldn't blow them off that way. That would be plain rude to people that actually didn't mind me being around them. I had seen Graham, Anne and Markus loads of times since I got back, and they had been good enough to welcome me back with smiles. It was such a beautiful thing for me, to genuinely be welcomed back to school by members of my House that didn't feel obligated in doing so because I happened to be related to a famous Slytherin. They welcomed me because I was somewhat their friend. They bombarded me with questions, especially that Anne when they got a hold on me the first time I gave the Marauders a slip for a meal in the Great Hall, and I had given honest white answers to most of their question. By the looks of it, Anne seemed like she was about to shoot me with a hundred more as she saw me coming.

"I'm sorry, but I have to hurry to the Hospital Wing." I announced as I stood a couple feet away from Graham.

His hazel eyes widened as he stared up at me, looking alarmed. "Are you sick?"

I shook my head. But before I could talk, Anne interrupted me. "Never mind that, Graham." She said to her friend and then turned to me. For moment I was slightly offended by her rudeness, but she was so cute with her blonde hair and all, that I found it endearing. "Do you know the differences between regular wolves and werewolves? We already got tufted tail and human-like eyes."

"Werewolves are fifth year subject, aren't they?" I asked, though there wasn't a need, I already knew the answer. The trio exchanged glances as I stared around at them, watching each little face. There were secrets passing between them, secrets I wasn't privy to.

"We got detention," Graham after a moment of hesitation admitted, looking anywhere but at me and that made me smile. Poor boy was embarrassed. "Tonight with Hagrid. He's taking us to the Forbidding Forest to harvest leaping toadstools."

"And everybody knows there're werewolves in there." Anne finished as if it was a matter of fact, which in this case I knew it was, but she didn't. For her it should only be myth and legend. Or an elaborate hoax created by Dumbledore to hide the fact that it wasn't a hoax in the first place, as James had once wonderfully explained to me.

"You lot got detention?"

"Markus wanted to sneak into the kitchens the other night. We got caught by Mr. Filch." Anne had turned to her taller friend as she explained what happened, her voice rising to chilling temperatures as she glared blue daggers at poor Markus. "Because Markus doesn't know where they are."

Graham watched them with a pained expression, obviously having been witness to previous encounters like this one. My attention went back to Markus, who matched Graham's face as he whined. "I said I'm sorry, Anne!"

"I didn't take you as troublemakers." I said to try to alleviate the situation; though at the moment I didn't know if that was even possible. This was the first time I had seen the trio so tense around each other. Though, I wasn't worried much about them. The three were good friends, they would get over it sooner rather than later, so I went on with the werewolf information. "You're missing the detail about the snout. Werewolves got a short one than regular wolves."

I watched as Anne produced a quill and journal from within her robes to scribe down my contribution. The two boys leaned in each of her shoulders, I guess to confirm that she wrote right what I said, I don't know.

"But you needn't worry." In retrospect, I should have mentioned the bit about werewolves being tons more aggressive than normal wolves, for educational purposes. But I knew that was something that would have put them on edge. And though the Forbidden Forest wasn't a place of horror for me, for I knew of its secrets and was safe in the freedom it presented me, it wouldn't be the same for the three first years. I'm sure they must have heard all kinds of stories about the forest, truths and lies. "It's not a full moon tonight. Werewolves only come out during the full moons. You should be fine."

That hadn't crossed their minds apparently, though if you ask me it's the most important piece of information. However, since they went to me for the knowledge, my bet was that they didn't think to go to the Library and pick up an actual book on the subject.

"What you should really be worried of are acromantulas. Professor Kettleburn says the forest is filled with them." I, like the responsible upperclassman I was went on to say, watching their eyes dart back to me and widen. It was a second later that I realized my mistake and failure at trying to keep them from fearing their detention that I hurried to rectify myself."But I'm sure Hagrid will keep you safe."

I excused myself from them with an apology and a bit of regret for Graham, who looked like he wanted to ask something else, but I ran off. I had to get to the Hospital Wing for my second visitation of the day.

The hallway, ever crowded with fellow classmates getting to their respective classes wasn't a hassle to navigate this time.

My little conversation with Graham and his friends led me to think about Remus, the one werewolf I knew. How would he have handled sharing information of his curse to children scared of rumours based and caused by him? I'm sure he wouldn't mind what I said to the kids. It was something I would like to talk to him about, but I had no idea if I would get the chance to. He was running scarce these days. It still struck me as odd that I hadn't had a chance to talk to him or even be around him. There was a bugging feeling in my stomach, one I wasn't familiar with and that I maybe got earlier when I was talking with James.

As if I had summoned him with my mind, Remus Lupin walked by accompanied by another boy I didn't know. By the looks of the matching silver badges on their chest, the other boy was a Prefect too. Probably fifth year for I couldn't remember his name or face.

A smile broke on my face as I watched him, wondering if I should derail myself further from my inevitable appointment with Madam Pomfrey to speak to Remus. It did seem like a good idea, but I contended with not doing it. He looked busy, as busy as the rest of the Marauders had claimed him to be the previous night when we met in an empty classroom, or all the other times he gave us the slip for whatever reason.

Passing in front of me, Remus noticed me standing there, or felt my unwavering stare for he turned to look at me. I waved at him with a hand and a smile, pleasantly watching him go. The strangest thing happened. At least strange to me, who considered him my friend and with whom I had a special blood connection.

Remus didn't acknowledge me.

There was not a wave back or a smile or as familiar look. Nothing. He stared at me as if I was a stranger. He ignored me like one would ignore the stone columns lining the hallway. It made my stomach do a flip, and not the good kind.

What in Merlin's name was happening?

* * *

I tore open the package of a Cauldron Cake, the delightful smell intoxicating and offered it to Peter, who sat next to me. He took it without a word, not even looking at what he was reaching for, so I watched him grab at air a couple times before I moved my hand for him to take the cake. Without ceremony or manner, he shoved it completely into his mouth.

"Chew properly, Peter." I told him after I took a second to just watch him try not to choke.

He nodded thanking me, his attention still on the practice being exercised. Peter's eyes were behind a pair of omnioculars, that he was using to follow the flying Quidditch players. I watched him use the thing with a little envy, itching to use the omnioculars again. I was told they were a birthday present Sirius had gotten Peter a few years back. Peter had forgotten to pack them into his trunk when he left home for school and it was only recently his mother had gotten around to mailing them. They had missed the most Quidditch season, but at least Peter got them before the final. So far I thought of them as a marvel, and I couldn't wait for the day I would be able to buy one of my own.

I shook my head at Peter's antics, searching into his book bag for another Cauldron Cake. There weren't any books in his bag; therefore I had to dig under packages of chocolate frogs, sugar quills and other goodies to get to them. The Marauders never ceased to have supply of snacks when needed and I found that truly amazing.

Especially when I could have anything I wanted without having to lift a finger or spend money.

The package crackled in my hand as I tried to open it, causally looking up to the pitch to see the Gryffindor team zoom about. They were too far for me to recognize players or to read names. The smell of a freshly opened Cauldron Cake hit me tenfold again, and it was with a heavy heart that I twisted back in my seat, to offer it to Lily who sat behind me.

She sat with her arms crossed tightly over her chest, he book bag opened next to her, but ignored. With my attention on her, she was particularly concentrated on glaring at me. I, like any other witch or wizard, would have cowered at that ferocious expression, but if I was certain of one thing of my friendship with Lily Evans, it was that with as much power she had, she would never hurt me. Lily would only ever protect me. That much she had shown me before.

I offered the cake, but she declined.

"We have Slug club tonight, Faraday. Why are we here? Why am I here?" Lily asked for like the hundredth time since I had masterfully gotten her to the Quidditch pitch a while ago. It had not been easy, yet somehow I had managed it. And even more outstanding, she hadn't left yet either.

"I told you." I pushed the words out, only slightly bothered at repeating something she already knew. "James bet me ten galleons last night that I couldn't get you to watch him practice."

There was a heavy sigh behind me, but I didn't turn to look at my friend for that. I knew she didn't want to be there. It was the very last place she would want to be, even with her love for Quidditch and House pride, and I did feel bad for using our relationship to get money, but not too bad when I remembered it was James' money. I was sure that even Lily saw that as a good enough reason to not just scamper away. "And you accepted this ridiculous bet without thinking of the consequences this would have on our friendship?"

"I'll give you half?" I twisted again to look back at her, feeling playful with the whole situation. "Come on Lily! This is hilarious. Use the omnioculars; see the stupid look James has on his face right now."

"It's his normal face." Peter said putting the omnioculars down for the first time since he had finished showing them off to me. His eyes squinted like he hadn't understood what I said. At that I gasped, completely caught off guard by his comment and stunned into amused silence. Of course I found it hilarious, especially coming from Peter, who I'm sure didn't mean it as a joke.

"Who would had thought, Pettigrew beat me to it." Lily sounded amused, still ticked off, but it gave me hope that she wouldn't hold any sort of grudge toward me. So I moved to sit sideways on the stall, to stop giving her my back, not that it was my fault, she had chosen to sit there.

It was a while before Lily spoke again, and in that time, I concentrated on watching the practice, for lack of a better thing to do. Peter, though his attention didn't move from behind his omnioculars, did not relent from commenting on every move the Gryffindor team made, exclaiming in awe.

"Tell you what Faraday, you keep your hard earned money," She said edging forwards in her seat, looking at me strangely. To be honest, the glint in her eyes kind of reminded me of James the previous night, when we made the bet. "But in exchange you have to do something for me."

Her words were intriguing, especially when it meant I was going to have ten galleons in my pocket. Though I couldn't ignore the flip my stomach did. I didn't know if it was good or bad. "Yes?"

"Pull your bun apart and keep your hair down for the rest of the weekend."

I took in Lily's words. For the moment it was the two of us, Peter was too engrossed in the practice to even notice that I wasn't paying attention to him. My hand went up to the back of my hair, not quite reaching the tight bun I liked having at every waking hour. The idea of taking it down wasn't strange, but it didn't necessary sit as normal to me. It seemed like a hassle, really. "I have to study tomorrow. It'll get in the way."

"Then you'll push it behind your ear, like this," She gave me an example, pressing a delightfully long and straight strand of her red hair behind her ear.

I didn't think my hair would be as complaint as hers, especially since I had no experience dealing with it. I slept with it down, and ran under the moon with it free, but in those moments it wasn't really something that I paid attention to.

Maybe I should have asked, but I figured that Lily wanted me to be uncomfortable. She had a mischievous glint in her green eyes, and it wasn't hard at all to read. Lily knew I found my hair to be a hassle; that I insisted on wearing it up to keep it from my face while I studied. But, she wanted revenge from me using her to win a bet, and I guess I shouldn't be stubborn in complying. This was my fault in the end.

Deliberately slow, but in no way delicately, I pulled my bun apart and left my hair to fall down my shoulders. It wasn't as long as Lily's or as straight, but she seemed pleased to see it down if the smile on her face was any indication. I passed my fingers through it, to comb it a bit. I tried smoothing it, but I must had looked like an idiot because Lily went on ahead to help me do it for a while.

"How do I look?" I asked Peter. At some point he had torn himself away from the Quidditch practice to see what we were doing. Or maybe what I was doing. The last time I pulled my hair down was back when I met the rest of the Marauders. Coincidentally, this time as well I was freeing my hair at the demand of someone else.

"Very p-pretty." He said, after a full minute of staring and going back to stare up at the practice. The stutter was a good sign for me; Peter did it whenever he was nervous. Though considering that he once claimed to fancy me, it might not be a good thing after all.

The wind blew, and my hair went all over the place and all I could hear was Lily's unrestrained laugher at my expense, most likely. After that mess was cleared away from my face as best possible, I ignored Lily, and went searching again in Peter's bag of sweets.

"He's doing the Dionysus Dive!" Peter exclaimed jumping to his feet, the omnioculars glued to his face as he followed in detail what was happening. My attention, grabbed at the last moment, flew to the pitch, just to see one of the Gryffindor players, I don't know which –probably James by the sheer agility of the move– do a strange flip and twist to the side as a goal was taken. Even from our distance it looked exclaimed something else, but my attention was lost as the Quidditch team united in formation, and swooped by in their mock playing. I followed them for a bit more, until I became irritated at fishing blind for the cake I wanted sand tearing it open.

I took strands of hair out of my mouth; the damn things were getting in the way as I ate my delicious treat. As I tried in vain to keep myself from eating my own hair, a bludger got particularly close to our spot on the pitch. The sound it made against the wind was telling of its coming, not that I could notice it from far. The only reason I realized it was coming our way was because a certain Beater got in the way.

With a fast swoop from Sirius and the power of his arm, the bludger was sent flying to the other side of the pitch in an awe inspiring display of speed that began with a thunderous smack as the beater's bat collided with the ball. It made me jump in my seat

Peter celebrated next to me, standing with a jump as he yelled in triumph at what he witnessed. The outburst shook the stun out of me. I wasn't to react like Peter in the slightest, though I couldn't kept a solid surprised chuckle from escaping me at the whole thing, and I did look behind me to see what Lily's reaction had been. On her face rested one of those annoyed glares she normally saved for a certain Gryffindor.

Sirius came to us, lowering his broom to be on our looked beyond pleased at the reaction he had gotten from Peter, who had stood up to perch against the pitch's railing close to him.

"That was bloody brilliant, Padfoot."

"Thanks." On Sirius' face starched a wide smirk as he looked from Peter to me. I smiled back at him, but said nothing. If Sirius Black wanted compliments from me, he should had appeared at any other moment I wasn't preoccupied with eating my favourite sweet. My lack of praise, didn't discourage him at all, he looked as smug as ever whenever our gazes met. Sitting back on his broom, he huffed once and then stared pass me. "I see Evans is here."

Like me, Lily had remained silent, though obviously not for the same reasons. She did not look pleased with the new arrival. But then again, that wasn't surprising.

"Faraday won the, um, bet." Peter said.

"I can see that." His friend told him, turning to place a steady stare on me, that should it had been from anyone else but Sirius, it would had made me squirm in my seat. "Prongs doesn't know whether to be happy or pissed. Though, I'll admit it makes for an interesting practice. His normal drills are dull."

Lily spoke up, her voice harsh in a way that made me think it didn't suit her. "He can fall off his broom for all I care."

Sirius and Peter stared at my friend, the last whimpering at the sight of her, because those green eyes of her were fierce as ever.

"She doesn't mean that." I said for I felt like something needed to be put after her comment for it not to feel as harsh as maybe Lily had intended. I don't know. Although she was a firecracker in many situations, Lily wasn't mean.

Lily had taken his attention for a moment as they appeared to glare at each other for half a moment, but it was back on me when I turned back to listen to him speak. Sirius did not seem particularly bothered by the Prefect's words against his best friend when I stared at his handsome face. "I expect you to buy me something nice in Hogsmeade tomorrow."

I scoffed loudly at his nerve, but it wasn't in a bad way. Money, when acquired was meant to be spent and I couldn't help grinning up to him. "Whatever you want, Sirius," His face lit up when I said 'you want' in an almost childish way. "It's yours."

"Nice hair." He pushed up, leaving with a playful wink and looking very pleased with himself.

The broom zoomed away, and I stared at his form up until he returned to his teammates at the other side of the pitch. One of the players put up his arms as the Beater approached, and even from the distance, and without the omnioculars, I knew that must have been James. It took only a handful of seconds for the Gryffindor team to begin another formation, and at that I lost interest.

"Will, will you buy me something too?" Peter asked me, once he returned to his seat next to me. Behind us, I could have sworn I heard Lily sigh.

"Anything." With that I bit into what was left of my Cauldron Cake.

* * *

It didn't take much longer for the practice to end, and Lily was such a wonderful friend to me, that she stayed till the end of it. I was surprised.

Peter, Lily and I waited for the Quidditch team to exit the back stalls, and when they did, James and Sirius wasted no time to join us to walk to the castle. There was elated talking as we went from the boys, and Peter made sure his friends knew that he had seen every single movement they had done during practice. It was delightful to see him so animated.

I walked next to James. He had looked extremely confused at the state of me, hair loose and in a mess thanks to my inexperience and the windy weather. But between that, his fluster over Lily's presence and my insistence of being paid, he was displeased. He promised to give me the galleons the next day. Which suited me well. Hogsmeade was going to be wonderful now that I was to have money to spend. Content with my friendship with James Potter, I stuck myself next to him as we walked to the castle with Peter talking nonstop. It was the only way I could think of keeping the Quidditch Captain from speaking to Lily.

She came a few steps behind Sirius, almost making me think that she was dragging her feet. Maybe she didn't want to be seen with the Marauders.

Every time I looked back to see if she was still there, I would have to look pass Sirius, who at moments almost hid her completely from my view. His resting bored look would break with his trademark smirk whenever I motioned for him to move so I could look at Lily before complying with a sidestep.

Once inside the castle, we stopped by the grand staircase, where Lily was going to part from me to go get ready for Slug Club, I planned to do the same to the Gryffindor boys but closer to the Great Hall. Like I always did. It was a surprise, when we got there, to see Remus coming down the stairs with a fellow classmate. The fact that it was a surprise to see him out of nowhere, even if it was the second time that day, struck me as odd. Remus Lupin was my friend; it shouldn't feel odd to see him outside the class.

My gaze was unwavering on him, as I watched him come down and see his friends. His expression lit up at the sight of them, until he saw me next to James. Our eyes met and it was as if he was doused with cold water. His opened faced closed over in less than a second, and any smile I might have had growing on my face at seeing him died.

Like earlier today, my stomach flipped, constricting my throat with dread. Something was going on and something in me had been refusing to acknowledge it, but now there was no escaping it.

James called Remus over, but he shook his head.

"I have patrol." He said back. With that answer, Remus hurried away from us, my stare fixed on him as he did so. I thought hard, trying to figure out what had I done wrong, but for the life of me I couldn't figure it out.

"That's not true." Lily said next to me, making me jump slightly. I hadn't noticed when she walked to me. "Spinnet and Thomas have patrol tonight."

He lied. He lied to us, or he lied to me. Why would he do that with Lily standing there? Did he not notice her? Lily knew the patrolling schedules by heart, everybody that knew of her were certain of that. Remus must have not seen Lily walking behind us and lied. I looked around, my stare going from James next to me, to Peter and Sirius. They all had different expressions, obviously; however one of them caught my attention particularly. I had caught James looking at the direction Remus left, his eyes soft behind his glasses, and his face set in a slightly, I would dare say, disappointed expression. Lily's words ran around my head as I stared, feeling worst with every passing second. Remus' cold shoulder and the realization of it stuck me hard, if was as if my forehead was struck by lightning, and a shiver entered my body from there to my feet and then back up again. I didn't need a concrete reason to know that this was my fault, and as the words left my mouth, they left a bitter aftertaste. "He's evading me."

"No, he's not." James said turning his face to me instantly, his words delivered too fast for me to believe them. I stared at him, like I had done earlier; taking every detail I could see. He swallowed hard, and his hazel eyes flashed from looking down to me, to the side, where I was more than certain that Sirius stood at the moment.

And that was enough for me to make assumptions. I took a step closer, not that it was needed, he was already close as it was. "You know what's wrong with him. Tell me."

"I don't know!" His answer was not convincing. Not that I would believe him even if it was.

"Tell me James Potter or I'll—" I struggled to figure something to say off the top of my head. Looking around in half a circle, my eyes met with Lily. She had a frown on her face as her eyes danced around us. She seemed confused, and of course she was. I was confused too.

"Or what?"

"I'll have Lily hex you."

He flinched at the mention of his dear Lily-flower, and there was graveness to his expression. Lily hexing him wasn't anything new, but I instigating it was. As was the idea of hurting him. Which was mainly why I volunteered someone else to do it for me. James looked from me to the Prefect girl, weighing the truth of my threat, and came back to me almost smiling. "You would not."

I turned to Lily, looking into her gorgeous green eyes.

Though I didn't say anything, I pleaded with my gaze, or at least I thought I was doing it. It took a while of staring, a moment I would say for her to react. She shrugged, pushing a hand within her robes and pulling out her wand. Without a word, Lily pointed it at James.

My heart skipped a beat at the whole thing of it, my cheeks hurting when I couldn't keep away a satisfied grin.

Wand pointed at him, James put his hands up, pushing past me to get away from Lily and hide behind Sirius. Peter moved to take James' previous spot, and I felt him grab my arm, but I only gave him half a glance. My attention was consumed by following James, as he was followed by the pointy end of Lily's wand, even behind Sirius, whose mischievous smirk made him look like he was enjoying the outcome of this grave situation more than he should. But that wasn't surprising coming from him.

"I'll tell you, Birdie." Sirius said, his shoulder shaking either with amusement or because of James for he had placed his hands there to direct his friend against his assailant. My attention directly on him, all previous humour slowly left his expression. "Moony didn't take well that you're related to Morgana."

"That makes no sense, Black." I heard Lily saying.

But it did make made perfect sense. How hadn't I realize it before? It was the most obvious thing in the world. I had heard, in the span of months all sorts of talks and comments of Remus absolutely, irrevocably hating his curse, both from him and the rest of the Marauders. Since I was in on their darkest and most fun secrets, I was also allowed to hear those conversations. I never said anything, I never knew what I could possibly say, but I had made a mental note to not mention the real details of my connection to Remus' curse to the boys. In a way, I never thought it necessary, none of them had really asked. But with the news, clear and crisp in the Daily Prophet didn't hold back, and Remus, a good student, a Hogwarts Prefect and ever hateful of his affliction and wanting to be rid of it, had most likely researched whatever book he could find about Lycanthropy. I'm sure Morgana's name would prop up without needing to step into the forbidden section in the Library. And with whatever limited knowledge he had, Remus Lupin, I'm sure wouldn't want to be my friend anymore. Hence avoiding me, even if I was with his only friends. Even if it meant lying to the people that care the most about him. All to get away from me.

My mind was reeling, as my body had stilled instantly, almost as if I received a Stunning Spell to the chest or I was dosed with ice water.

"That's it." How I managed to push out the words I don't know, but that helped me snap out of my thoughts, and I was able to shake the shock away. A deep breath left me, something awful settling on the pit of my stomach as a gush ran inside of me, pushing all the blood in my body down to my feet. I was vaguely aware that Peter was still holding to my arm, and I moved so I would be the one holding to him. My knees were weak at the prospect of losing one of the few friends I had. One with whom I had so much in common, like studying and Morgana. Why couldn't I think of anything else? "He must hate me."

"He doesn't, Faraday." Peter told me close to my ear. I didn't even realize how close I had put myself to him. His voice had been soft, the kind I had only heard him speak to me when the rest of the boys weren't present, and I appreciated that. Though, I still shook my head. How could I believe him when my gut squirmed violently? Peter pressed. "It's true."

"Listen to Wormtail," James, the hilarity of the previous moment ruined masterfully by me, stepped from behind Sirius. He pushed his specks up, as he spoke, his voice a mixture of exasperated concern to me, thought for the life of me I couldn't figure to who the exasperation or the concern was directed to. "Remus doesn't hate you; it's just hard for him to accept it."

"Accept what?" Lily asked in the background, she was ignored. What would she think of what she was beholding?

My eyes were glued to the ground, every thought in my mind agonizing, though all reaching the same conclusion. Normally, my way of dealing with things was to ignore them until they went away. Something that had failed with the Marauders, however that wasn't important. Ignoring what was going on with Remus wasn't an option, not when I was getting in the way of his life. I had to find him. I had to talk to him.

I took a step away from Peter, and there was a shuffle of moment. He made a move to stop me, but it was Sirius who got a hold of me before I bolted. Somehow, he was next to me again, one arm draped behind my back, as he held on to me, one hand griping to each of my upper arms. He wasn't brusque; I could barely feel the pressure, but maybe that was because I had more pressing matter to attend to than complain about being handled by Sirius Black. No, I had to concentrate on Remus."I have to talk to him."

"No," James had taken a step closer to me when I moved, standing in front of me looking down with that endearing caring and responsible look that I had once thought strange in him. With him there, all my possible escapes routes were closed. "You should give him time, Faraday. That's what he needs."

I understood what he was saying, but I don't think I would follow that up. The idea of Remus evading me, hating me because of Morgana was horrible. It was her blood that connected us, the reason why we had even become friends. And it was devastating to even wonder what was to happen. I found myself biting my lip as I looked up at James. "What if he never forgives me?"

James stared silently and after a moment he shrugged; nothing he could say could make me feel better anyway.

...


	41. Chapter 40: Morgana's curse

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

AN: At some point I got lazy writing this. I don't know what happened, but at least I don't intend to complete abandon this fic.

* * *

 **Chapter 40:** Morgana's curse

An odd trinket to my side made a sound as I sat across from Dumbledore. I ignored it the best I could, less I be curious about the object and go as far as to ask the old man about it, like I was sure he would like. There was no way I was to willingly engage in conversation with the Headmaster, not when he regarded with silent concentration from his desk, after forcing me to visit his office on a Saturday morning.

It was simply malicious, taking time so early on a Saturday.

It was the only moment he could fit private counselling time with me, something about a busy schedule and the whatnot one would expect from an old wizard that managed a school. That I understood his lack of spare time to exert himself as my private tutor or whatever, didn't mean I was in anyway pleased that I had to be in his office so soon after waking up, and so close to time to leave for Hogsmeade. Because of course he wanted to talk about my time in school and classes on the one day I actually wanted the opposite. Not that I even wanted to talk to Dumbledore about anything else or anything really.

In all honesty, if I had to talk to the Headmaster, I preferred it to be informally and in front of Slytherin House with Merlin's portrait. I didn't look forward to those meetings after curfew either obviously, but it was the better option. It was far less of a hassle than walking to the Headmaster's office, and I got to talk to Merlin and Dumbledore at the same time. That way, I could evade them both for a while. As much as one could evade the current master of the castle or the door to my house.

The old wizard regarded me behind half-moon spectacles, his blue eyes unwavering, and unyielding leaving me to answer with stubborn silence from the other side of his desk. He was studying me, trying to get to me, to see beyond what I showed and learn all my secrets before starting with pleasantries. Typical meeting with Dumbledore.

"How are your classes?" He began slowly. Either he got tired of our little confrontation of wills, or he got all my secrets from my mind. One never knew with him. "Professor Slughorn was telling me yesterday that you are flourishing in Potions."

I looked down, trying to keep a glare from forming on my face. Of course I was flourishing in Potions. I cleared my throat; I hadn't spoken since I told the elf that woke me up with Dumbledore's message to go away. "Probably because I haven't messed up a potion this week."

Though I did hear myself more forceful than normal, sarcastic in ways that I wasn't really too familiar with, my comment had no ill directed at Slughorn. How could I direct ill toward a professor that elevated every little thing I did to heights of grandeur? A professor that meant the praises he so easily gave me?

My words made Dumbledore crack a smile. He looked down to his desk, to a roll of parchment that was stretched by his left hand. "Madam Pomfrey wrote in her report that you have taken well to resting in the Hospital Wing. And that you shall be well enough to be discontinued of them soon."

Oh, that was wonderful news.

The Headmaster spoke of more little things. A rundown of all the safe comments he received from my professors that could be shared to me without causing problems, along with possible advice to how I could correct whatever nuisance I should have perfected by now. I barely cared of the things he said, most were matters I had heard many times before. My mind had concentrated on one thing only, and that was finally being rid of my daily visits to the Hospital Wing. Nothing, I knew, would be better than getting back to my normal life.

"There is one final matter I must bring light to, Faraday."

Minutes had only gone by, but I felt like I had already wasted the whole morning just sitting there with the Headmaster, so his call for attention on one final thing brought my full attention to him. I stared expectantly.

His moves were deliberate as he bent to the side to open a drawer. The wood sliding barely made a sound before and after Professor Dumbledore fished for whatever he wanted to show me. I couldn't keep myself from edging on my seat, my hand going to rest on my side of the desk as I watched, not really wondering what he had there for me, but still Headmaster produced the least plausible thing I could ever imagine him to be holding, a bunch of neatly stacked and bound letters. "I have here postage." He began, his hand moving the bundle softly in the air, his eyes strained on me. "Particularly, letters sent to you in the course of this past week. Since the publication of your history in the Daily Prophet."

Surprised unto stunned silence, I stared at the old wizard's hand and what he held. There must have been at least ten letters stacked together. Letters for me, from I don't know who. I moved, balancing on the edge of my seat, reaching with my hand and arm completely to demand the Headmaster to give me my letters.

"Not yet," Dumbledore said, pulling his hand back, though I hadn't been that close to swipe the postage off him. A part of me wanted to fish for my wand inside my robes, but I would never go that far. It might get me in trouble. Or maybe not, I would never know. Fact of the matter was that I would be an idiot if I in anyway challenged the Headmaster outside of educational sparing. "First we must talk about the dangers in these and your safety."

"Those belong to me." Anger was a better solution than wand pointing, and it was evident in my voice even as I grinded the words through clenched teeth. Dumbledore had no right to keep those letters from me **.**

His expression, set in a scholarly look that showed the years and years of worldly experience he had over me, didn't change in the slightest when I revealed my anger. Though, really I was sure, Dumbledore knew me well enough to know what my reaction would be towards that matter."Yes, they do." He said softly, with all the patience in the world."And you will leave this office with them, but I must stress a fact first. These letters began arriving addressed to you before you left St. Mungo's. The first one only a matter of hours after the publication in the Daily Prophet about your curious situation."

That made my stomach do a flip, but it was already jumping around at the idea of mail, therefore I ignored it as best possible, and adjusted my bum in the edge of the seat. My eyes were stuck on Dumbledore, even as I voiced a question I already knew the answer of. "So you're saying those are all from strangers that are interested in my blood connections?"

"Precisely! There's a reason I withheld these from you, Faraday, and not the ones from your friends." The Headmaster's eyes twinkled with resolve, much as I had noticed they normally did when in the middle of important discussions. My attention darted away from his face for a second, as I came to accept what he said. It made sense, and I understood that the old wizard was trying to protect me from strangers, for as far as I knew I had gotten every single letter my friends had sent me while in the hospital. I decided to stop being annoyed at Dumbledore for the rest of my time in his office and kept on listening when he began to talk again. "There's a war brewing just under the surface of our world. Soon all will have to choose a role to play whether it's something wanted or not. Sides will be picked if they haven't been already and our lives will be changed."

My body, where before had been jumping in excitement for the letter and anger towards the teacher for keeping them, stilled. I did not enjoy in the slightest the turn my Saturday morning had taken so suddenly.

"Faraday," His used of my name at that very moment didn't sit well with me. I wished we could just go back to talk about my classes. "I am afraid of the mystery your future holds for you. Descendant of a legendary Slytherin and his dark witch apprentice; these letters and the names their senders signed with are indicators enough of the kind of people your family name draws attention from. Outside of this school, dark wizards and witches are gathering, all intending for you to choose their side of this looming war. And to that I say, I am only left with a warning to give, Faraday Ambrosius, and that is that you must be careful with every stranger that reaches out to you. Dark times _can_ bring out the worst in people, and that puts your safety in jeopardy."

Safety be damned, my sanity at the moment was in direr jeopardy.

"Which brings me to another important matter, one that we have never spoken off, and that we will be discussing profoundly in the following weeks." At this point I just felt like he was checking off a mental list of problematic things for me that I had no real desire to worry myself over, not when I had more important things to do, like passing all my N.E.W.T.s. "Your summer accommodations."

It had not, before that very moment crossed my mind what was to happen to me during the summer. My mind felt like it had been thrown right into the middle of a violent whirlwind, crashing around at top speeds without any safe harbour in sight.

"I'm sure you know that Hogwarts closes its doors to students for the summer. It is unfortunate, but how things are. In this we cannot make special exceptions. That said, we must find a place for you, Miss Ambrosius to go away to when the term ends." Dumbledore said, but I wasn't even sure he was talking to me anymore, not when at the moment I couldn't force myself to say anything. The whole conversation had shock me to the core and I needed a minute of silence that the Headmaster didn't want to give yet. "The Minister is preparing a list of candidates families to give you harbour. I myself have already summited personal friends capable of providing you safety and a positive summer experience. Once the list is properly constructed and the candidates made aware, you, the Minister and I will choose the best place for you to stay."

Okay no, I did not need a moment of silent contemplation. I needed Dumbledore to stop making decisions about my future. It didn't take me much to force out through clenched teeth a reply. "Shouldn't I be the _one_ making that decision?"

If he noticed my discomfort, he ignored it, like normal. "For this summer? I'm afraid the choice is not completely yours to make."

I took that in and didn't speak for a long moment, trying my hardest to control every ounce of annoyance that consumed my body. There wasn't much I could do. So much for trying not to be annoyed at the Headmaster, it was inevitable, a common occurrence between us. Anything different would have been an anomaly. My best choice was to get the hell out of his office. "Can I leave?"

"Of course." If he was bothered by my coarse manner, he didn't show it and I didn't know if I was glad for it or more annoyed. "I wish you a very good trip to the village, Faraday. Have fun. And be warry of these letters."

And with that, he extended his arm over his desk, handing me my mail. I stood up with a jump, grabbing at what was rightfully mine and leaving the Headmaster's hand empty without vacillation. My hands burned, with excitement I liked to imagine as I felt the crisp parchment of the letters. Dumbledore leaned back on his chair and gave me a polite smile, one that a teacher would give his student, but that I didn't care for at the moment. I wanted to leave.

"Thank you, sir."

I turned away, clutching the letters to my chest and heading for the door without ceremony.

I didn't stop until I was out the office, down the stairs and pass the gargoyle statue, and I only stopped to prevent myself from carelessly bumping into someone. Regulus Black, sporting his school uniform and Prefect badge so early in the morning and on a Saturday, bowed his head in polite greeting, making me give a half smile after apologising for almost running into him.

He waved away my lame apologies graciously and pointed behind me to the gargoyle entrance. "Is he free?"

"I don't know." And I don't care, I wanted to say, but I would never say that in front of Regulus. Even when it did not sit well for me to answer as if I was the Headmaster's secretary. That somehow felt demeaning in every possible way. "You should go in anyway."

There, that felt better.

"It's mostly inconsequential, honestly."He said with a small shrug though his grey eyes did get lost looking off to the distance, giving the impression that maybe it was a little bit more important than he admitted. Maybe he had a pressing Prefect matter he wanted to inform to the Headmaster. Or maybe it really was a triviality. I don't know. We stood in silence watching each other a bit without knowing what to do from my part. I still wasn't well verse in polite conversation. Regulus was though, as was to be expected from a young man in his social position. "That's a lot of letters."

"Yes, the Headmaster was accumulating them for me since, well..." I trailed off, not knowing how to go on about it. Plus it wasn't something I wanted to talk about, much less to him. Though I don't know, maybe it wouldn't be that bad.

Regulus stared at the bundle in my hand, his forehead knitting together, and it made me a little nervous. "I think there's one there from my mother."

Obviously, that was the last thing I would expect him to say. Also, the prospect of Sirius and Regulus' mother writing to me seemed impossible. It left me bewildered and without intelligent words to give. "What?"

"She mentioned it in her last letter. I believe she wrote to you days ago."

I stared at him for a solid second, and then looked down for the first real time to the letters I had received. The top one had Carrow beautifully drawn on 's family name. Dumbledore's earlier comment came to mind, the one about the same kind of people being attracted to the reveal of my name. And if Regulus' mother had sent me one too, then that meant my letters came from rich families from the Twenty-eight with Slytherin children. Which most likely made their parents Slytherins too. I searched, flipping through the names, and sure enough I recognized names from my House only. The finally, in elegant and exquisite cursive, I came upon the name of Regulus' mother. Walburga Black.

I looked up surprised at what I actually found, showing him the letter. My reaction seemed to amuse him, and he gave me an expression that made him look a lot like his brother. A part of me wanted to open the letter right there, but I had plans for the day. Plus I felt like I needed to find a nice solitary place to read my little stack and I wouldn't be getting that for a while.

"What do you think it says?"

"Pleasantries, I imagine. Don't forget to write back." Regulus asked of me nicely just as the gargoyle behind me began to make a rumbling sound. "I should go now." He said as words of parting and I nodded as I moved aside to let him pass. I waited as he spoke the password for the gargoyle to move completely out of place to free the stairs. After that, he quickly disappeared as he went up.

Looking down one last time to the beautifully written name of the Black matriarch, I walked away.

* * *

I was forced to ignore my little stack of letters the moment I ran unto Dorcas on the door to the Great Hall. She gave a squeal at my sudden appearance and then she grabbed me claiming that there was much girl gossip to be had and little time for breakfast before leaving for Hogsmeade. Mary and Lily, who were already eating, agreed with their Gryffindor dorm mate. There were boyfriends, exes and school drama to talk about, and though I normally enjoyed that kind of thing, my mind wasn't into it. Dumbledore had ruined my time with the only girlfriends I had by withholding my mail.

Getting to the silent mausoleum of my dorm was all I could think about for a long while, and it wasn't until Lily pulled me all the way to Hogsmeade that I was able to put it away. The bustling magical village was always a delight, and the sight of it enough to get my attention.

There had been a light shower of rain, but that hadn't stop the students of Hogwarts from visiting the bright and bustling shops for a much needed break from the daily grind of classes.I myself had hurried behind Lily, Mary and Dorcas, the letters hidden within my robes, and for the moment forgotten as I followed the girls into Tomes and Scrolls. I had a few sickles left after going mad in Honeydukes, I was certain I could afford something good.

After that, I parted ways with Lily and her friends. It was time for me to meet up with Peter in the Three Broomsticks.

I tried to fix my hair a little before going into the pub. Lily had insisted I keep it down for the trip to Hogsmeade and had even gone as far as to take my tie away. When I left her, I forgot to ask for it back. Not that I thought she would had given it, I was supposed to keep it the whole weekend. Plus Lily was having too much fun watching me struggle with it.

Just when I was about to enter the Three Broomstick, the door flew opened and I was stunned at the sheer coincidence of who it was. Remus was rushing out the pub.

He stared at me, his eyes sunken and tired, and his skin pale white with angry dark pink scars. His slim tall body was as petrified as mine was at the sight of each other, though his shoulders looked so tense that the arm holding the door looked like it was twitching. He was sick. And of course he was, the May moon was a mere two days away. I stared back at him. Then without a word, without acknowledging my presence with anything other than unadulterated shock, he pushed pass me, leaving me there with shock of my own.

Okay no. That was plain rude. It was time to do something.

"Hey," I found myself saying after him as I turned to follow his back at a hurried pace. His long legs had carried him well away from me and I found myself lightly sprinting. This was it, the moment for whatever was broken between us to be addressed. Inaction on my part, ignoring the problem like I ignored most problems in my life and James' advice to give Remus time and waiting for him to face me was not an option anymore. "Hey Lupin!"

For a moment I thought that either he didn't hear or decided to ignore me as I watched his back navigating Hogsmeade's crowded main street, but he gave me an answer. And honestly, it was more than I thought he would give."I'm busy."

"With what?" I yelled after him.

He didn't say anything not that there was anything he could come up with. This was the end of the line, and even though I struggled to follow him a tiny bit, I was sure he knew he couldn't escape me. The thought of taking a page out of Lily's book and raising my wand at Remus was a much bigger temptation than I would dare to admit, however, I shook it aside. What kind of person would I be if I attacked a sick boy?

There was no need for hexing, for I got my opportunity to stop him. As he went pass Zonko's, the door flew open and a middle age witch came out, her arms balancing colorful parcels. At her appearance, Remus abruptly stopped his trot, giving me enough momentum to hurry and grab unto his arm.I held on tightly. "You're not running off because Peter told you I was coming, right?"

Again he said nothing.

I suppressed a sigh as I looked up at him, suddenly uneasy with what I had done and how he was running away from me. I had tried to keep the matter about Remus out of my mind for most of the night and morning since I realized he was evading me and only me. Studying and Dumbledore summoning to his office worked wonders, but that didn't mean that it wasn't eating away at me. It was maddening to have one of my friends full on avoid me for learning the secrets of my ancestry. It was time to come clean with each other, whatever it meant. I had to apologize for something I had no power over, and keeping the truth of it hidden away from him, a person who had given me his trust with his greatest secret. I would apologize for being born at the end of Morgana's bloodline. I would do that for Remus, though just the idea of it hurt my pride. It wasn't a great plan for me, but the only one I had. I pulled on his arm. "Come with me."

"Not now, Faraday." He said in a tired voice, giving a shrug as an attempt to shake me off.

I didn't let that push me away. I held on tighter, looking up into his blue eyes. "Please?"

He looked away, his face twisted in an unflattering, concentrated way that made me feel awful for pushing this on him. Remus was already in enough involuntary pain and though I didn't want to be an annoyance to him of all people, I had no choice. After what seemed like an eternity of a deep frown, Remus stared down at me, and with a defeated expression, nodded.

* * *

My go-to place for a private heart to heart conversation was the spot at the edge of the forest that overlooked the Shrieking Shack. It wasn't out of place to go there. Not many people ventured to it, there was a fallen tree trunk we could sit in and it was symbolic. Remus turned into a werewolf in it every month. I guess it was fitting to face each other with it as witness.

I might have been losing my mind, but that was a matter for another day.

By the time we made it to there, my stomach had made a thousand flips as the somber nature of the problem between us reared its ugly head. The thought that I could lose for forever one of the few friends I had was insane and something that I wish I didn't have to go through only months after getting actual friends. But there we were.

The air and ground was still wet with the light showering from earlier, and through the leaves of the tall trees the sun tried its best to dry it off. Though humid looking, Remus sat on the large dead trunk, his eyes closing as he did. I chose to remain standing for the moment.

I took a deep breath as I watched him and once and for all faced him. I was going to fix this.

"I'm sorry I had to do this, Remus. I know how you must be feeling with the moon so close, but you can keep evading me." I tried to keep any possible desperation from my voice, should some appear, as I spoke at a steady pace. "We might not be as great friends as I might have thought we were—"

He interrupted me, his gaze on me and his voice sounding incredulous, like he didn't believe what I said. "We _are_ good friends."

Okay then.

That washed over me like a tidal wave of relief. Made me even step closer, sliding to sit next to him. "Then why haven't you faced me? I know you read the article, like everyone else. But you haven't said anything." Of my friends he was the only one that hadn't bombarded me with questions and of all of them only he and Lily obviously, had any right to do so. "I know that you hate being a werewolf and that we've never really talked about our connection. You never asked if I knew something and I never saw a reason to speak."

I started at him. Remus was silent, looking away to the Shrieking Shack or at least in the direction of it. Maybe he was just lost in thought. If he wasn't listening I would get pissed off. I went on. "Morgana created Lycanthropy." There! It was out and between us now, the problem. Wonderful. "I'm sure you know that and that you must hate her. I would too. And I understand if you hate me too. But—"

"I don't hate you." Remus interrupted again and had it been at any other moment I would have considered raising my wand at the rudeness of it. The way he spoke his retort made it sound like I was being stupid, or at least I heard it that way. Maybe Remus thought I was being stupid, the poor boy, I wouldn't blame him for thinking that, not when he looked so pale, so physically and emotionally tired."I couldn't."

I don't know why, but I had half a mind that this whole fixing the problem thing was going to be way messier than Remus was putting it out to be. Maybe I was getting ahead of myself, but I can't deny that I felt another wave of relief. Though, when it passed I was consumed by everlasting confusion. "Then why have you been evading me?"

He shrugged.

"You don't know or you don't want to tell me?" Watching him look at anywhere but at me, I ventured a little closer, bending forward to try to catch his gaze.

"I don't know." He said after a while, tired sounding and slouching in his seat. "I'm angry, Faraday."

Yeah, that was completely justified and I understood perfectly, and I had every intention of telling him that. Even if it hurt my pride. But like I resolved myself to do before, I would do it to save my friendship with Remus."About my connection to—"

"No! I don't care about Morgana, she did what she did and she's been dead for centuries. That's not important." At some point when he was speaking, he met my eyes for a brief moment, and somehow it was enough for me to undividedly listen to him. Though, my chest tightened a bit at the angry mention of my ancestral grandmother. Also, I thought that was the problem to be resolved."What _is_ important to me are my friends, and you're one of them."

Bloody hell did that make me feel warm and fuzzy inside in ways that so far in my life had only happened whenever I blatantly felt Lily's affection. Shit, this was Remus affection! I had no idea of what I could possibly say back to that, not while being utterly stunned, but to my luck, Remus hadn't finished talking.

"There's something special between us, Faraday. Since we met, I knew the truth of it all, but I decided to ignore it, to keep these unpleasant feelings from myself and you. With the truth out, I couldn't ignore it anymore because like you said, we never talked about it. I guess I know now that neither you nor I wanted to admit to each other what we knew about out connection. And I'm angry that it had to be this curse; that you have the same blood that causes this curse. And that once a month it takes your free will away from you, too." He said steadily and with amazing emotion that had my attention bind to him. "I'm ashamed that I've been avoiding you, because this isn't your fault. And I'm sad because I don't know which is worst. To have this curse pushed upon you, or to be born with it."

He looked a horrible sheen of white, but his eyes were filled with a beautiful blue fire that moved my heart and made me almost thank Morgana for the connection she had unknowingly made between us. Almost. I would certainly never say it out loud, less of all in front of an emotionally open Remus Lupin. I shook my head to bring my senses back to normal, and laughed a sad breath of a thing as a stupid reaction to it all.

"By the looks of you, I would say it's the first thing you said." I kept a little smile on my face; I could feel it tugging at my cheeks getting a tad bigger as I went on."Remus, you didn't need to ignore me for a week."

"I needed time. And," He said, looking away. "I didn't have the courage to face you."

That made me laugh. "That's not very Gryffindor."

He laughed too, but that winded him up, and he looked like he was about to faint. That seemed like a good spot to leave our discussion. Our problem was fixed, our friendship saved, and I didn't want to ridicule the poor boy having to levitate him back to Hogwarts in case he passed out. Better to go find the rest of the Marauders.

* * *

AN: Sorry if this ending seemed rushed, it was. I haven't posted in months, since June and I have no excuses for it. I hope you enjoyed this chapter


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